Nancy you will be missed by many ,i love you very much i enjoyed our time together you are a warm, sweet,funny ,smart and very loving person  i will never forget you .

Nancy was the best sister I ever could have hoped for.  In all my 73 years I never had one negative moment with her    - not even one little disagreement that I can remember.  Nancy was my best friend and my most trusted advisor.  

Nancy went away to college when I was only five years old.  She totally moved away when she got married when I was nine.  But during all these years we were always in touch by phone.  Very sadly I lost my sister about 18 months ago when she could no longer remember how to operate a telephone.   With the help of an nursing aide, I could reach her by phone.  But I stopped reaching out to her by phone, when I realized that telephone conversations, being abstract, were very confusing to her.

Nancy was the best person I've ever known.  The most amazing I've ever known.  She was the most generous, the most gracious.  Whoever met her immediately liked her.  Everyone sensed instantly how kind she was.  She made friends wherever she went from the grocery store to the fanciest of places.

Nancy never expected anything from anyone.  Rather she was always thinking about what she could do for others to make their lives a little bit nicer.  Last month when I visited her in the Alzheimer's home where she lived for the past year, one of the aides volunteered to me that Nancy - in spite of all her own limitations - was always mothering and helping to take care of the other residents.

Nancy was the personification of positive energy.  She brought good cheer wherever she went.  She always had a smile and a kind word.  Nancy was beautiful to her core.  Inside and out.   She sparkled all the time.  Nancy literally lit up every space she walked into.
 
She was a natural beauty with wonderful poise.  Even so - Nancy took great care never to be frumpy.  This is a lady who put on lipstick to go out to get the morning paper.  The frumpiest piece of clothing would be tranformed into something really sharp by her just putting it on.  

Nancy made turning lemons into lemonade her life's work.  Her life had many challenges, all of which she met wth optimism and good cheer.

Even though she was never an A student during her school years, Nancy was just about the smartest person I've ever known.  Heaven only knows what her IQ was.

I assure you she was the only person I ever met who couldn't wait to pick up the Sunday NY Times so she could get started on the diagramless crossword puzzle of the week.  

Do you know what that a diagramless puzzle is?  Only definitions are provided.  You have to draw the white and black squares into the crossword box - starting in the upper left hand corner, then working down and across to the right. So if Nancy didn't get the first word right, and then the 2nd and 3rd respectively in order, the rest of the puzzle didn't work.  She'd have to start over.  I honestly don't remember her finishing a lot of those puzzles.  But that didn't stop her from starting a new one every week.

Anyone whoever worked a jigsaw puzzle with Nancy knew pretty quickly she was sharper than the rest of us.  She refused - until the last year or so - to work on anything with less than 1500 pieces.  Offering myself for comparison, any puzzle over 500 pieces intimidates me.

Last month when I visited, we started a new 750 piece puzzle.  As deep as she was into the Alzheimer's fog, she had many periods of complete lucidity right up until the end. That last puzzle I did with her, 3 weeks ago, she placed many more pieces where they belonged than I did. 

She was the most artistic person I have ever known personally.  She had a magical aesthetic connection to all the arts.  Lots of you know that Nancy was a concert pianist - including a debut at NY City's Town Hall when she was about 19 and a student at Juilliard.  But few people know that she didn't have her first piano lesson until she was about 15 years old.  My parents simply couldn't afford a piano until after World War II.

There wasn't a creative activity she didn't excel at.  In addition to her music, she excelled in pencil and charcoal drawings.  She was a superb seamstress usually working without patterns.  She whipped up my entire off-to-college wardrobe making me one of the best-dressed on campus.  She was legendary in the knitting department.  Everything she knit required intricate stitching and evolved into a complicated work of art.  

Lots of people, including myself, have rudimentary skills in all of these areas.  The difference is most of us do not have the focus and determination Nancy had to take on very complex projects which take extended times to finish, routinely taking at least several months. 

It's takes fearlessness and bravery to embark on these complex projects.  Nancy was both fearless and brave.  She also had tremendous optimism and belief and confidence in her own competence.   She had the determination and dedication to see her projects thru to completion. 

Whenever you heard the old adage Where there is a will, there is a way I hope you remember my dear sister Nancy.

Those of us who visited Friendly Island were always astounded when we realized that the thousands of petunias, which every summer covered that little mountain in the middle of the St. Lawrence River, were all planted one-at-a-time and tended by Nancy personally.  This annual project actually started in Alex Bay where she would buy the petunia flats which she would haul by boat to the island and then carry the flats, as she climbed  from the dock up the steps up the mountain. The 1000 Islands are known for their manicured and lavish gardens.  But with few exceptions, they are maintained by hired help.  Nancy was a do-it-yourselfer par excellence!  

Nancy was one of the hardest workers you've ever known.  She totally applied herself to whatever she was involved in.  Until she was about 50 years old, most of her energies were devoted to being a good wife, mother and homemaker.  

But when financial necessity, about 35 years ago, required that she find paid employment out of the home, she went at it like she had tackled every other project in her life.  

She very quickly worked her way up - on the strength of her personality and keyboard skills - from a counter girl in a car dealership's parts department to executive secretary in a Fortune company.  In charge of preparing all materials for the Chairman of the Board, she took on the challenge of translating her typing skills into sophisticated word processing and presentation design skills.

When she came up on mandatory retirement age, lying about her age, she went and got herself another full time job working at Harris, another Fortune company.  For about 10 years she was on the Harris Security Team, in charge of the CEO's Reception Desk which required that she look great every day as she first greeted and then convinced all visiting executives that they should present their briefcases to her for searching. 

She loved that job and only retired at about 70 when she moved to Clearwater to be near Miranda and Dave so she could be involved in raising her new-born grandson Alex.

We must not ever forget how much fun my sister was.  What a good sport she was.  I had many wonderful adventures with her - especially the last 20 years after all our children had grown up.  She was my favorite traveling companion.  In addition to many trips in California, we also hit London, Paris and the Caribbean.  

Along the way we had a number of adventures on the water - one especially memorable occasion was when I thought an ocean-going freighter was going to run us down in Nancy's little 13 foot Sunfish in the main channel of the St. Lawrence Seaway.  On a beautiful day we thought it would be lots of fun to take the Sunfish across the main channel to get an ice cream cone in Alex Bay, about one half mile from Friendly Island.  We had smooth sailing going over.  But coming back we ran into stiff winds and currents and could make no headway.  Meanwhile, the freighter, we had seen on the horizon as we left Alex Bay, was coming straight at us, quickly closing the gap.  I seriously was ready to start swimming.  But Nancy never lost her cool as she steered us out of danger, just in time.

What more can I say.  Nancy was the best.  Her passing has left a tremendous gap in my life which will never be closed.

We are all distraught as we gather here to say good bye today.

But as the same time we can take comfort in knowing that all of our loved ones who have gone before -  Nancy's dear husband Alan,  our parents, Frances and Warren Kessler, her 14 year-old great nephew/my grandson Nate, her sister-in-laws Minnie and Hazel who she took care of in their old age, her husband's brother, Leon, who she was very close to and who died just last year at age 92, her brothers-in-law/my husbands, Walter and Sam, and countless friends and neighbors who have preceded her ..

It's comforting to know that they are all lined up saying Come on over. Hurry up!  We've been waiting for you.  

As we weep today saying our good byes, our loss is their gain.  We can be sure that all of Heaven has just been lit up with the addition of Nancy's positive spirit.

With the passing of Nancy Kessler Ray, a bright and shining light has gone out in a little corner of this world, the final home of one of God's loveliest creatures.  

Nancy was the daughter of Warren Kessler, a pioneer whose immediate family played a role in the founding of West Virginia, himself, the inventor of a rotary engine.  The first Cadillac dealer in Oswego, New York, he put up the first supermarket in that town.

Nancy's mother, Frances Ferrell Kessler, descended from those determined Irish immigrants who blazed trails through the Appalachian Wilderness with the likes of Daniel Boone.  Her people were key to the founding of Kentucky

Born in 1930, young Nancy was a highly social and popular entertainer - a singer and pianist - who entertained solo and in duets at recitals and concerts. 

In 1952, fresh from college, she married Alan Ray after a whirlwind romance - whereupon he
whisked her away in his vintage launch to an historic private island in the St. Lawrence Seaway.

Together they built, upon the foundation of a burned-out mansion, a contemporary, soaring A-frame home which served as summer retreat and social touchstone for family and numerous friends for 30 years.  All the while, Alan and Nancy were snowbirds commuting from island to home in Fort Lauderdale Florida.  

Selling the island in 1982, they became permanent year-round residents of Fort Lauderdale.

Widowed, Nancy moved to Clearwater in 2000 on Florida's west coast to be near beloved daughter Miranda, husband, David, and their son Alex.  Still she kept one foot on the east coast where her first-borne Alan and dear sister Sally were living.

Perhaps the signal musical achievement of Nancy's final years, was to ascend, on her 84th birthday, the four-story spiral staircase to the Carillon tower of the church near the home where she lived with other elderly ladies and gentlemen.  Everyone in Clearwater was treated to a Bach prelude, which she played by manipulating ropes controlling the bells - all the while proclaiming her lifelong joy in music to all within earshot.

I have fond memories of Nancy when she was the receptionist at Harris/Concurrent. Her lively personality and cheerfulness was always warm and welcoming.  I know she will be missed.

My thoughts and prayers are with you always, I remember all the good times we had at work at Harris/Concurrent, you always had a smile and you were well loved. I will always remember all the emails  back and forth. RIP  Nancy Love Jo Pail

For the best Aunt anyone could have ever asked for, Aunt Nancy may you rest in peace. Your grace and your spirit, your love of music, your genuine thoughtfulness and interest in my life, touched me and meant a lot to me, all through my life, and you will not be forgotten. Love forever - Jenny

It was a treat to share a birthday with someone whose ever-present smile lit the reception area at Harris/Concurrent. I always admired your boundless energy, enterprising nature, and flair for fashion. I can just imagine the celebration they're having for you in heaven! Yesterday, I was happy, but not surprised, to find that you raised and come from a WONDERFUL family. I miss you, Nancy. <3

condolences extended to the Ray family. Thank you Alan for all you have done for me when Mom and Dad were ill. Your mother taught you kindness and friendship

Our dear Nancy, a great gal who loved fun, humor, song, her family - and in turn was loved by all she met and cared for.  

The Lord must be pleased to welcome her home.  We miss her.  Love, Tom

Nancy you Rest In Peace, we had alot of good times at Harris/Concurrent, I will always remember you . May you Rest In Peace/

My thoughts and prayers are with you Alan.  I am sure that your mom will continue to watch out for you.  Tom Muench

OBITUARY

Nancy K Ray

12 February, 1930 – 26 September, 2015

Forest Lawn Memorial Gardens

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