Teresa Passanisi
Eulogy – August 8, 2013

Hello, my name is Tonia and I'm Teresa's oldest grandchild. Thank you all for coming and being with us here today as we say good-bye to my grandma and celebrate her amazing and very fortunate life. Many of you are probably looking at me right now and saying to yourselves, “Oh my gosh, Tonia is wearing glasses now?” Well I just got these not that long ago as I'm having trouble with blurry words. Yes, it's true, I'm getting older. I can hear my grandma's voice right now (she didn't know I started wearing reading glasses).  She would say, “Tonia, whatever you do, don't get old!” She has said that to me many times in the last several months. She never embraced aging. In fact, she fought it every step of the way. She was stubborn like that. It was impossible to convince her that she was 86 and everybody eventually gets old. My mom and I would just have to laugh and we would always say, “This woman is going to fight every step of the way.” And she did! She never wanted to miss a thing. She was always up for an outing. It didn't really matter what it was, she wanted to go. She had a zest for life and she lived it.

My grandma was born on December 31, 1926, the third of 4 sisters (Rose, Connie, Teresa and Mary Jean). Although if you asked her she would tell you she was probably really born in the springtime. She hated the winter. It was too cold and she couldn't go out as much as she wanted. Since people really didn't keep good track of birthdates back then her mother chose New Year's Eve as the birthdate to put on her birth certificate. It was really a perfect date to pick. My grandma loved New Year's Eve. This meant she always had something to do or a party to go to on her birthday. She married my grandfather Domenic, raised 2 kids, 4 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. Boy did she love her great-grandkids! She had a large extended family and a network of friends. All of our lives growing up were always about family dinners, birthdays, holidays, picnics, card games, camping trips, beach days and road trips in the camper and motorhome. My grandma and grandpa lived very social lives. This is how they raised their family, always surrounded by lots of family and a large group of fellow Italians who were like family. As a kid I would often get confused over who were actual blood relatives and who were friends we just called family. Over the years it became clear that it really didn't matter.  If you were our friends than you were considered part of the family. This attitude towards life, family and friends naturally rubbed off on the rest of us. Generations later it's how we all now conduct our own lives. It's a huge gift and blessing my grandparents gave all of us and sure does make for a rich a fulfilling life.

Over the last few months and weeks my family has been reminiscing about all the fun times we had with my grandma. There are so many memories. My cousin Sean started a family photo project about a year ago in an effort to preserve and memorialize all our photos and best family memories. He has managed to collect over 5,000 photos from my grandma, mom, aunt and uncle. With the help of my Uncle Mick (the designated family human scanner) many of our photos are now archived on line. We still have a long way to go but it's very exciting. A few weeks ago my grandma and Uncle Domenic were able to view many of the photos while we all sat around grandma's dining room table and laughed and told stories. My cousins Sean and Jason and my brother Sam and I wanted to share a few of our favorite stories and funny memories of our grandma:

• Grandma would regularly beat you at cards. Somehow she could yell out for the card she wanted and there it would appear in her next draw.
• She loved to go to Reno and Red Hawk with her friends and somehow she always came home ahead.
• You knew you were one of her grandchildren if you found yourself getting bathed in the sink or in a tin bucket outside in front of the whole family.
• As kids she and my grandpa would take us to feed the ducks, birds and squirrels. They always had plenty of stale bread. In fact, my grandma had an entire drawer in her kitchen devoted to stale bread.
• She loved to go to Costco with Uncle Domenic. We would all laugh and say, “What the heck are they buying all the time for just one person.”
• If you ever tried to call her on the phone you were prepared for the line to almost always be busy.
• She never sneezed just one time. Sometimes we would sit there and count her sneezes and she would crack up laughing.
• She loved to visit Italy and did many times with my grandpa. She loved the family and food there. Some of her best memories were when Ana and Albino would come to visit.
• She loved to travel and especially loved cruise ships.
• She hated the wind. We remember as kids her wearing little plastic bags tied over her hair to keep it in place.
• We all loved driving to Half Moon Bay in the motorhome. She would cook all day in there. We would often stop for fresh peas and eat them for hours during our trip.
• She loved Christmas, Christmas music and weird Christmas song singing stuffed animals that danced. She thought it was so cute while Domenic and Gianna would always run out of the room terrified. We would all laugh.
• She was notorious for buying her grandchildren PJ's for Christmas.
• She loved traditions like the mother-daughter Christmas Tea she did for over 25 years with her friends Winnie and Claire and their daughters.
• Another favorite tradition was baking Christmas cookies with my mom, me and Lauren.  We called it “Biscotti Day.”  We were always very proud of our 4 generations. My mom and I in recent years would try to encourage my grandma to just sit there, drink tea and chit chat while the rest of us did the hard work.  She was weak and would get tired but she insisted on being the “cookie slicer.” You could not tell her otherwise.
• My grandma was an amazing cook. None of us ever went hungry. She made the best eggplant, frittata, pesto and prune cakes. You could try to replicate her recipes but they would never come out quite the same. Good, but not the same. She would tell you the ingredients then years later you would find out that she had a secret ingredient she forgot to tell you about. She was funny that way.
• She was very particular about food and I believe she was the first “Food snob”, a quality she passed down to many of us including myself. She would be the first one to yell out at the table, “It needs more salt!”
• She hated sour cream, cream cheese or anything that resembled it. Strangely she would rather eat sea urchin than a cup of yogurt.
• Her soup and coffee were never hot enough no matter what you did.
• She loved high quality food but hated restaurants that didn't give you enough food or didn't include all you can eat bread. Yet, she strangely loved Burger King and Little Caesar's Pizza which she would frequent regularly with Uncle Domenic and Auntie Rosie.
• It drove her nuts that some of her grandchildren didn't like seafood yet she made sure to make Sean and Jason her famous tacos so they wouldn't go hungry.
• My grandparents were the only people we knew who would stop on the side of the road to pick prickly pears, wild mustard greens or whatever else looked edible. These odd food habits are what caused my brother Sam to have an unnatural affinity for fresh peas and pomegranates and myself for mustard greens. I'll never be able to replicate those no matter how many grocery stores I go to.

My grandma did not like to be alone and she rarely was. You could find her with her sisters or Uncle Domenic, playing cards with her weekly card crew, going to the club with her friends or having dinner with her family. In the last months and weeks of her life she was inundated with visitors. Our family is so grateful that many of you were able to spend time with her and say your good-bye's while she was still with us. The night before she died many in our immediate family were there and my Auntie Rosaline said, “I want to go like this, surrounded by all these people. How fortunate she is.” She is so right.

I want to take this opportunity to thank a few people:

• To Hospice of Redwood City Kaiser for their care and constant attention.
• To Father Joe for making several visits to be with my grandma and help her with the transition, conduct last rights as well as a very wonderful family service at her bedside the night before she passed.
• To Diva, who many of you know has been my grandma's friend and caretaker for several years and for the last several months her full time, 7 day a week care taker and companion. Diva was so attentive and patient. She would do most anything my grandma wanted including doing her hair and make-up everyday regardless of how my grandma was feeling. My grandma wouldn't dare go a single day without her hair and make-up and Diva understood that. Her efforts, love and care for my grandmother will always be remembered and appreciated.
• To friends and family who came to sit with her and keep her company, especially Uncle Domenic and Auntie Rosie.
• To my immediate family, parents, aunt and uncle and all of us grandkids for banding together to make sure my grandma went out knowing she was loved. As hard as it was it's been yet another life event that has brought us closer together.
• And lastly to my Mom who has devoted every ounce of energy she has to making sure my grandmother had every single thing she needed every single day to pass with dignity and peace of mind.

Safely Home
I am home in Heaven, dear ones; Oh so happy and so bright!  There is perfect joy and beauty in this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over, every restless tossing passed; I am now at peace forever, safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly trod the valley of the shade?  Oh! but Jesus' love illumined every dark and fearful glade.

And he came Himself to meet me in that way so hard to tread; and with Jesus' arm to lean on, could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely, for I love you dearly still: try to look beyond earth's shadows, pray to trust our Father's will.

There is work still waiting for you, so you must not idly stand; do it now, while life remaineth you shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed, he will gently call you Home; Oh, the rapture of that meeting, Oh, the joy to see you come!

Sending you our deepest condolences. May you find peace and comfort in all the wonderful memories you have with her. With sympathy, Maria and Mario Marcheschi

John and I will miss Auntie Teresa. She was a great sport and a fabulous card player. All the picnics she made fun will be fondly remembered. My prayers and hugs of comfort to the family.

OBITUARY

Teresa A. Passanisi

31 December, 1926 – 5 August, 2013

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