Jay Merle Milstein

Jay Milstein passed away peacefully after a six-year battle with dementia, though he probably would have called it a dance. It is a disease that first takes the mind and then the body. For someone so competent, intelligent, thoughtful, and athletic, its cruelty was unmistakable, but maybe only to those around him. Because in a way, the disease seems to have given Jay a peace of mind he never quite had before.

For forty years, Jay served as a neonatologist, dedicating his life to caring for the most vulnerable—those who could not walk or talk or do anything for themselves. In a quiet and humbling symmetry, he eventually became like the patients he had spent a lifetime protecting, requiring the same gentleness and devotion he so freely gave.

Those who loved Jay said goodbye to many versions of him over the years, grieving him in stages. When the end came, it was clear that it was his time. His life was marked by service, intellect, compassion, and deep humanity—and those qualities endure, even as he rests.

Jay Milstein will be remembered for the lives he saved, the care he gave, and the grace with which he made his final journey.