Florence Virginia Lighter

It was an early morning in June 1966 when a 45 year old single mom steered a Dodge Dart station wagon loaded with luggage and three children—ages 14, 11 and 10—out of Coronado. She was beginning—with the Van Vleck family—a 1,412-mile drive to Guadalajara, Mexico where they would spend the summer and drive back. Once across the border her primary driver to Guadalajara was her 14 year old son Bob.

That experience captures something very special about the extraordinary and adventurous spirit that marked the life of Florence Virginia Hardiman Brocato Lighter. Hers was a life of faith, family, resilience, courage, friendships, and love.

Born November 20, 1922 to Michael and Florence Hardiman in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Florence was the sister of Joseph, Loretta, Violet and Edward. In Philadelphia at Villanova University she would meet and later marry, in April 1949, someone she would always describe as “the most handsomest man I ever saw,” decorated Navy pilot Lt. Samuel J Brocato. Their love affair was a storybook bestseller—and there are beautiful letters to prove it! Following their first orders to California where Tom and Bob were born, they returned back to the East Coast to Quonset Point, Rhode Island for Betsy’s arrival and 18 months later the Navy returned them back to the West Coast, where “oh that Barry!” was born and completed their family.

In February, 1960 Florence and kids waved goodbye to husband and dad at the North Island Naval Air Station pier as the aircraft carrier, the USS Ticonderoga left for a seven-month deployment. Four months later Florence was met at her doorstep by a military chaplain who informed her that Commander Samuel Brocato had been killed in an aircraft accident and lost in the South China Sea.

Faced with raising four children—ages 9 to 3—by herself, Florence fell into the arms of Jesus and Mary through her unwavering devotion to her Catholic faith. Daily Mass, the rosary and Stations of the Cross would be her source of strength and resilience for the rest of her life.

Against the advice of friends who thought it was overpriced, Florence bought a house in Coronado for $29,000. Here, guided by God’s will and firm belief that He would never give her more than she could handle, Florence made close friends, many military widows themselves, with whom she would find shared comfort and companionship. She found work as a bank teller and settled in to the daily routine of educating and providing for her four children and disciplining Barry. They would not come to appreciate the depth of her sacrifice until much later in life.

The summer of 1971 saw another 1400 mile adventure, this time with all four of her children. An old-fashioned camping trip—in a tent, not a camper—took them all the way to Vancouver, Canada and back. Lost on us at the time was how fearless and adventurous she truly was. In later years she would remind us to “never say never” to any invitation that may involve leaving your comfort zone, because you may miss the wonderful experiences and blessings life often brings. A terrible example of this type of encouragement was when she drove Tom and Bob over to the San Diego Pier in 1970 so they could both stow away in the covered life boats on a cruise liner headed for San Francisco. Obviously no security system at the time for wonderlust juveniles traveling on a shoestring budget. “Always look back” was another favorite expression when leaving a venue or social gathering. This now indelible phrase has saved us over the years countless lost sunglasses, jackets, wallets, hats and small children.

Having a weakness for dashing naval aviators, Florence found love again, and married Navy pilot, Captain Ed Lighter in the Spring of 1974. With her children grown Florence could freely live her best life, not only with Ed, but for the joys and challenges of being a Navy wife—again. Following tours of duty in Hawaii and El Centro, in 1979 Ed was assigned to NATO headquarters in Verona, Italy. This romantic destination required a year learning Italian at the Monterey Language Institute. Fun Fact: Florence became fluent in Italian. In 1983 Ed retired and they returned to the family home in Coronado.

They happily dedicated the ensuing years to traveling, frequently making return trips back to Hawaii where Ed’s children and grand children resided. Off to Italy, skiing, entertaining, playing as much golf as humanly possible, ditto bridge, bike-riding and, for Florence, learning to tap dance like nobody’s business. But the main attractions of her life in the 1980’s shifted dramatically to her beautiful, talented and ridiculously good looking grandchildren, courtesy of Betsy and husband Kieron. Seasons together both in Coronado and at the Moran family home in Fredericksburg, Virginia would indelibly mark forever the hearts of both Florence and Ed and their four grandchildren, Sarah, Laura, Julea and Brendan.

Florence became a widow once again losing Ed in 2003. In the years that followed she continued to remain active making her annual pilgrimages to Fredericksburg to celebrate Christmas and New Years. She attended daily Mass at the Chapel and never missed an opportunity to play golf, bridge and bingo. In the last 8 years a once strong and fiercely independent person gracefully resigned herself to someone else’s care. Florence was blessed when two loving and devoted caregivers entered her life, Carissa and Lorna. They and their wonderful families were truly angels sent by God.

How do you get to be 101 and be so full of affection and love? By the grace of God. Only a month or so ago she said to one of her sons, “Give me a kiss.” When the kiss was delivered she responded, “I’ll tell you when to stop.” Florence never stopped loving and trusting in God’s plan and we will never stop loving her. God bless you Florence and thank you for your legacy of faith, sense of humor, joy of life and your love. And by God’s grace we WILL meet again!

2/22/2024

A visitation for Florence will be held Friday, February 23, 2024 from 12:30 PM to 12:45 PM at Sacred Heart Catholic Church, 655 C Ave, Coronado, CA 92118, followed by a funeral mass from 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM.

In lieu of flowers, contributions in Florence's memory may be made to Sacred Heart Catholic Church, 655 C Ave, Coronado, California 92118 US.