Reynold Rey Leo Graham

Reynold (Rey) Leo Graham, 86, passed away peacefully, on April 27, with loved ones by his side in Encinitas, CA. He was born in Newark, New Jersey. He had one older half-brother and a sister, who predeceased him. When his mother’s sister passed, his cousin Myrtle Birdsong, came to live with he and his mother. He was also very close to Myrtle’s sisters, Emily Singleton and Doris Harrell.

Rey served in the army and earned the WWII Victory Medal. After leaving the service, Rey graduated from the New York University with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Accounting and then earned his MBA in Finance at the City University of New York, Baruch College.

After college, he worked for General Cable in New Jersey. In 1960, Rey started working for the International Business Machines Corporation (IBM). During his career, he held several positions in various areas, including personnel, finance, market research, forecasting and used equipment. Rey also worked internationally for IBM as a market researcher in Europe, Latin America and the Far East.

In the early 70s, Rey was recognized with a significant award from IBM for managing the move of personnel and equipment from New York City to the new headquarters for OPD in Wyckoff, New Jersey.

In 1974 Rey met his wife, Donna, at Disneyland when they were attending an IBM conference being held in Anaheim. Donna had volunteered to be the tour guide through Disneyland for Rey and 3 other IBMers. After that conference, Donna was promoted and moved back to IBM’s divisional headquarters in NJ.

This is where Rey and Donna continued to see each other at work, as well as at activities with mutual friends, Joanie Schultz, who lived in the same apartment complex as Donna, Maureen Tooher (aka Mo), and Marilyn Nawrosky (aka Knucks). When the three girl friends were setting up a Mexican dinner in New York, Donna immediately signed on. By the end of the work day, Rey and Donna were the only 2 who were going … and Donna was not going to miss out on a Mexican dinner after having none for a few months. That night was the start of their relationship.

In 1975, Rey introduced Donna to the Cape Cod area. Rey was afraid to take her to any of the eastern beaches knowing she grew up enjoying California beaches in Newport, Huntington and Laguna. However, Donna loved the area as much as Rey and they continued to make annual vacation trips to the hotel they found in 1976. After returning from Tokyo, they discovered their favorite “home away from home” hotel had become a timeshare, which they had to purchase so that they could continue to enjoy their annual trips.

Rey and Donna’s multi-mile canoe trip down the muddy Mullica River with about 8 other friends in September of 1976, helped them decide that if they could survive that trip .. they could make a go of it. Before they had paddled less than 300 feet, Rey had dumped them in the river three times with basically all of the trip down river to go. At a mid-point rest stop, Donna and Rey discovered that Rey’s wallet and car keys went missing during one of their three dunkings, which they later learned was because Rey’s paddle was way too short for his height. They shared a 4 hour ride home with friends, only to have to turn around the next day to drive back down in Donna’s car with Rey’s spare key so that they could drive both cars back.

In 1976 Donna came back to California into sales and eventually management for IBM in the Los Angeles and Riverside areas during which Rey and Donna began a 6 year long distance relationship … finding all the best air fares between the two coasts.

In 1982, Rey and Donna decided to live together for a year and either get married or separate as friends. It’s obvious what the outcome was because in 1983 they bought a home in Stamford, Connecticut; were engaged at Christmas; and married in April of 1984. Rey asked Donna where she would like to go for their honeymoon and Donna replied that unlike Rey who travelled and worked internationally for IBM, she would never get to see the Far East. So, they honeymooned in Tokyo, Japan, Hong Kong, went on a week’s cruise around the Hawaiian Islands, had a reception in San Bernardino, CA at her mother’s home and returned back to Stamford.

In May, when all the charge card bills were starting to arrive, Rey came home one evening and told Donna he had been offered an assignment in Tokyo, Japan for at least 2 years. AND, during the interview, he told the interviewer that based upon the requirements of the job, that they didn’t want him, they wanted his wife! The interviewer said they would also interview Donna, which they did, and IBM offered both of them job assignments. While Donna was very reluctant to go, it turned out to be a three-year honeymoon for them, as well as the best experience of their lives. The assignment allowed them to travel around the world three times, touring in Hong Kong; Korea; Singapore; Thailand; many European countries, the favorites being the Netherlands, Switzerland, Italy and Great Britain; and Hawaii. There are too many experiences to share over their assignment period, but Donna loved receiving 2 bouquets every Saturday from Rey .. 1 was typically Japanese usually 5 stems showcasing one particular flower and the second a typical American bouquet of 10-12 flowers. They loved visiting Hong Kong about 6 times a year because it was cheaper to vacation out of Japan than to stay there. Other favorite memories were attending the wedding of a Japanese friend and hosting her mother, Irene; her sister, Linda; and Linda’s son Brian, when they came for a visit in 1988 and toured Japan and Hong Kong.

It was during this experience, that Rey and Donna realized that making memories was truly what life was all about .. and they went about making more wonderful memories together.

After Tokyo, Rey and Donna returned to their home on London Lane. They loved their home because it was on the Rippowam River, which was stocked with trout every spring. They started feeding the ducks and literally fed over 50 ducks every evening even in the snowy winters. Their favorites were the 6 pairs of Wood Ducks which also came for dinner! They loved looking out at their backyard where they were continually visited by deer, squirrels, chipmunks, raccoon and even a heron. Once they returned home to about 12 wild turkeys in their front yard.

It was a great joy that every Christmas, Donna and Rey would fly west to Washington to spend Christmas with her sister, Debbie, and her family in the Seattle area and then fly down for another Christmas in California with Donna’s mom and her husband, Buck, her sister, Linda, and her family in San Diego and Donna’s life-long best friend which she met in kindergarten, Linda Newman and her family. Rey fell in love during these trips with the Casa de Bandini restaurant in San Diego and their margaritas.

After his retirement from IBM in 1988, Rey completed the Alternate Route to Certification (ARC) program through the State of Connecticut to become a certified high school teacher. He taught social studies and economics at the J. M. Wright Technical High School in Stamford, CT until he retired.

After 35 years with IBM, Donna retired in 2005. Soon after, they decided that they didn’t care for the “white stuff – snow” anymore, and they decided to sell their home and move into Donna’s condominium in Hermosa Beach – which they did the beginning of 2007. While loving that condo, they wanted a little more space, and decided to look for a home. Around 1998, on one of their flights after Christmas from San Diego to New York, Donna started a conversation with a woman who talked about just finding their retirement home. All Donna remembered from that conversation was Oceanside, white homes with red tile roofs. Thanks to the internet, they discovered Ocean Hills Country Club and fell in love with it. They moved into their current home in 2008 where they met and have made many new friends in the community.

Donna and Rey also considered themselves survivors … he had 4 hip replacements on the right side and one on the left and Donna had kidney cancer and several complications to recover from this extensive surgery as well as back surgery. Despite various health problems, Rey and Donna continued to enjoy travelling, especially to their timeshares on Cape Cod, Aruba and Maui and sharing their weeks with family and friends.

Special memories and moments:

• Rey attended Martin Luther King’s famous I have a Dream speech in Washington, DC

• He interviewed for an IBM job years ago, the current New Jersey Senator, Cory Booker

• Love adopting/saving “pound” cats with Donna, including their new kitties, Callie and Misty, but their first cat, Muffy was truly Rey’s baby and she even went on assignment to Tokyo with them.

• A trip to Washington with special tours of the State House and White House with his sister-in-law Linda Kintz and her sons, Brian and Scott

• Meeting the Wright Tech teachers (especially Peggy Sonntag, Jan Hochadel, and Roberta Schwartz) at the local pub, Murphy’s, on Wednesdays after school

• The dueling feud between the Kintz family Charger fans and Rey’s NY Jets

• Pike’s Place in Seattle

• Visits with Rey’s family in Newark and Somerset, New Jersey, and his friend since kindergarten, Beverly Segel and her husband, especially after Donna and Rey moved to California

• Whale watching out of Provincetown on Cape Cod

• And, many, many dear friendships throughout the years