Betty Lou Reed

Betty Lou Reed was known as many things to many people. She was a loved one, a friend, and someone special. To family and friends who knew her best, Betty Lou will be remembered as a very exceptional person.

      Betty Lou was born on July 21, 1933 at General Hospital in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. She was the daughter of Sam and Ella Levine. Betty Lou grew up in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

      Betty Lou was raised with one sibling. Elaine. Betty Lou was usually involved in all sorts of activities with her siblings. She and her siblings experienced rivalries typical of a growing family, but they shared many life experiences over the years.

      As a young girl, Betty Lou had a number of interests. Like most children, she enjoyed playing and making up games. She was curious about the world around her and was often eager to explore it. Betty Lou was an active child who ice skating and basketball. Betty Lou's memorable achievements included. However, to Betty Lou, the most fun to be had was simply playing and spending time with her friends.

      A typical teenager, Betty Lou had a fairly happy high school experience, making that critical transition from adolescence to adulthood. She enjoyed some classes more than others, having favorite subjects and teachers. She was a member of Hi Y Social Club and Beta Sigma Phi Sorority.

      Always considered a “good” friend to those she knew, Betty Lou enjoyed a broad group of acquaintances and several very close friends during her lifetime. While growing up, some of her best friends were Norma Jean Hill, Janette Webb, Rae Moody, Phyllis Ramsay, Shirley Stares, Marion Conway, Vivian Jelly, Anne Nino. Mary Ann, Vergie Sellers, Joanne Shannon, June Dickie, Kathy Farlan, Ann Danner, Mary Gualazzi, Carla Dawson, Jo Anne Davey.

      On September 6, 1952 Betty Lou exchanged wedding vows with William John Reed at St. Luke's Cathedral of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. Empathic and loyal, Betty Lou was committed to making her new family happy.

      Betty Lou worked hard to be a good mother to her children and she did her best to fulfill their needs. Betty Lou was blessed with four children, Wendy, Leslie, Lori and David. Another blessing for Betty Lou was the gift of two grandchildren, Rick and Jackson.

      Simply stated, Betty Lou was a good and kind person, an individual who will for all time be remembered by her family and friends as being a caring and giving person, someone who was a vital part of their lives. Betty Lou leaves behind her a legacy of life-long friendships and many cherished memories. Everyone whose life she touched will always remember Betty Lou Reed.

Leslie's Eulogy

On July 21st, 1933 a beautiful blond haired, blue eyed girl named Betty Lou, was born in Thessalon. She moved to the Soo at the age of 8 and together with her parents, Ella and Sam Levine and her big sister Elaine, they lived a simple life. She was close to her cousins Pat and Gordon Stephens. When they weren’t dropping water balloon bombs on passersby beneath Mom’s Grace St. apartment, they tended 2 chickens who they had named Ella and Marie after their mothers!

She went to King Edward School and then Soo Tech and after that, her good looks and personality found work for her as she was by her own admission, a lousy typist!

Mom met Dad when she was only 13 years old and he was 16. She could still remember the first words he ever said to her…”Why are you mad at Clayton”. They were together for the next 65 years and would have been married 60 years this September.

Mom married our Dad at 19 and went to London Ontario with him while he finished his last year of university. A year later they had their first child Wendy and moved back to the Soo. Three more children followed in the next 7 years. I asked her once how she had managed with 4 kids so close in age and she said “well, I would just have to throw you all in one room, let you do whatever you wanted to and then go in and clean it all up later”.

She had never been interested in a career and considered herself fortunate to be in a position where her husband’s career enabled her to be a full time wife and mother.

We have so many happy memories of summers spent with her at Sand Bay. In the early days we didn’t have electricity and I remember her nervously lighting the coleman lamps and washing clothes with lake water using an old fashioned scrubbing board.

Mom was close to her sister Elaine and as children our families spent a great deal of time together. Mom thought nothing of helping out by babysitting when Elaine was working. What’s 6 kids compared to 4? Our cousins Susan and Scott were more like a sister and brother to us and right to the end Mom continued her close and loving relationship with Elaine and Susan. Susan’s son Vinnie felt like another grandson to her and while she was so proud of him, she liked to remind him of the time she answered the front door only to be squirted in the face by him with a water gun!

She adored her 2 grandsons Rick and Jackson and also her “adopted” grandson Jade. Rick spent summer holidays at Sand Bay while his parents worked in Toronto and Mom would always keep his stick and spoon waiting for him for the next summer. Believe it or not, they loved to watch the weather channel together! She was always shopping for Jackson who would then have to oblige her by trying it all on. In the last year in particular, Jackson brought sunshine to her days when he would arrive home from school and come in for a visit. And she was proud of Jade’s achievements and the fine young adult he is becoming.

Mom said she couldn’t cook when she first married and told us of throwing out countless attempts at pastry to the point where she would cry. Well this must have been one of the first signs of her tenacious nature as she became an extraordinary cook. Her grandsons will never forgot her blueberry pies. Even when her strokes prevented her from cooking, she was still watching Rachel Ray in the morning and sharing her knowledge with Lori who Mom proudly observed filling her role in the family kitchen.

Her biggest passion in life outside of her family was music. Sinatra was so special in her eyes that when Dad took her to Vegas and managed to get her front row table seats she thought she was in heaven. But her passion for music went well beyond Sinatra and Buble. We all remember waking up in the morning as young children to Mom singing along to the radio downstairs in the kitchen. She loved everything from rock through to country and when a song would come on the radio she could identify it within the first 2 or 3 notes. She was famous for saying “oh, I just love this song” but you see, she said that for EVERY song!

As teenagers, she loved our music as much as we did. She made all of our friends feel so welcome in our home and how she put up with all the action is beyond me. She was easy to talk to and you couldn’t get much past her. She knew what we were up to even before we did! We once pretended to be her and called a friends mother to get permission for the friend to spend the night. Mom and Dad were actually out at camp. A few months later, Mom came home from a parent teacher night and said “Just when was I talking to Mrs. Smith on the phone?”. She had met the friend’s mother for the first time and this mother had said to mom “oh yes, we spoke before on the phone”. The cool part of this story is the mom realized right away what was going on and covered for us! She was open minded and fair and most of all, when you were in any kind of trouble she was just so there for you.

She loved animals and sat at the kitchen table with us crying when our guinea pig died after 8 years as our pet. When our dog Buppy died she couldn’t bear the thought of ever having another dog until David brought his 3 legged “chocolate dog”, Jessie into her life. Confined to Burton Rd. in recent years, Jessie has been Mom’s loyal and loving companion and Mom was thrilled when Lori and Dad organized for Jessie to visit her in hospital just before she passed away. Mom said Jessie liked to sleep in her room because they both liked to go to bed early and Mom was prepared to tolerate Jessie’s snoring! It’s true what they say about the role an animal can play brightening the lives of people who are ill. Jessie will miss Mom as much as we will.

Mom recently told me she was really happy that she and Dad had stayed in the Soo. She said she felt safe in the Soo and it was friendly and just the right size. Of course when they were in their mid 50’s Mom and Dad bought a house in Florida and for the next 20 years Mom would spend 5 months of the year there. She just loved Lakeland and the friends she made in their community. Her sister wintered there too as well as her cousin Ron Booth who she just adored. She was happy too that the paths her children’s lives had taken gave her the opportunity to travel and enjoy many happy holidays in Belize and in Australia.

Mom loved to Dance with our Dad and when she was young she loved to ice skate. While not an active sporting person, she was a mad Hounds follower, Blue Jay fan and even in her final days, was watching the Packer games from her bed. She was an avid crossword fan until her strokes prevented her from doing them but as recent as this Christmas, she was still beating me at guessing the phrases on Wheel of Fortune and pitting herself against Dad at Jeopardy.

Mom was also an Ace Cribbage player, winning her local Highland Fairways Florida community’s Cribbage Medal. We all played cribbage out at Sand Bay and she was THE one to beat. She was great to have on your team playing Trivial Pursuit as she would get all of the Entertainment questions.

At first Mom didn’t want to bother with computers but one day in Lakeland Florida, she looked at Lori and I and Dad all busy on our computers and said “OK, I guess I have to get in to this”. She mastered her lap top so fast that within weeks she was calling me to say, “I downloaded that new song today”. With a few lessons from Lori she took off at a stellar pace working it all out as she explored the net. She was even on Facebook.

Mom had a brilliant sense of humour. I can only describe it as a quick, dry wit. We had so many “in jokes” going on in our family. So often we would find ourselves gasping for breath as we shared a serious, prolonged belly laugh with her. We will all cherish those moments.

She was quite a creative person and much to Dad’s chagrin, she loved to decorate and redecorate, creating a new environment with a totally new feel! She hated it when Dad talked finance with his kids and would say “if you are going to keep talking about numbers then I am going to leave and do something else”! And she would!

Her intuitive people skills were almost uncanny and you wouldn’t want to end up on her “I don’t like or trust you” list. She was actually shy with many people at first, averting her eyes until she felt comfortable with who they were. But those of us who had her as a friend and a family member know that when she loved you it was completely.

When I went away to University, I was horribly homesick to the point where I could barely function. Until I got past this, for the first 2 months I was at Western, every single day a pink envelope arrived for me with a letter from my Mom. She was with me every step of the way.

Mom was a very sensitive person. It was not always easy for her but in the last 3 years she showed what amazing fortitude and resilience she had. Dad recently said to us “She was a real beauty, a good mother, & the best companion I ever had. We could always go out together & just talk endlessly --we always enjoyed each others company so much.” For the past 3 years Dad has been by Mom’s side constantly refusing our demands that he take time off. Mom loved every precious moment they had left together and worried for his future, asked all of us to “look after Dad” when she was gone. Together, they are the definition of True Love and it was beautiful for us to be a part of.

A “few years ago now” the 4 of us “Reed kids” went to Florida as a surprise for our Dad’s 70th birthday. Mom knew I was coming from Australia but didn’t know everyone else was coming. The day we all arrived she said “next to the day I married your Dad and the days I gave birth to each of you kids, this has been the best day of my life”. She told me that at the end of our visit, she said to Dad, well we were just 2 young kids from the Soo and didn’t know what we were doing but we must have done something right. Look at those kids and how they love each other. Her family was her greatest achievement. She raised 4 children who are so different that had they not been siblings they probably wouldn’t have even met. Yet all 4 share the same core values and would do anything for each other. What a gift!

At risk of everyone thinking I am crazy, I have to share this one last little story with you. Mom loved the slot machines and well, I shared that love with her. The day she died I told Wendy that I was going to go over to the Lower Plenty hotel to play the "pokies" because I had this strong feeling Mom wanted me to. I said to Wendy that Mom wasn't going to go until I did this one last thing for her. I hadn’t been since the last time I had gone to the Casino with her in the Soo.

So, off I went to play and an hour later I walked out of there with $560.00 in pure winnings!!! Mom passed away a half hour later. I like to think this was her parting gift and we are going to go out for dinner as a family “on Mom”. She would have loved this.

Well, Mom, we knew we had to let you go but the house is so quiet and empty without you. Don’t worry about us. We’ll look out for each other and make sure we remain the close and loving family you created. We will try not to “get mustard on our shirts” and, we will remember that if a top seems to need ironing, it actually might not because “the wrinkles will fall out”. We are just going to miss you so much. I can still hear you singing ….

“We'll, meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when”.

Wendy's Words

When I was about five years old I first came to the understanding of the finality of death. My mom found me standing at the top of the stairs crying. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I did not want her and dad to die. She gently laughed and gathered me in her arms and assured me that that would not happen for a long, long time and not to worry. Thankfully she was right, I had her for many more years but the time to say goodbye is finally here. I know I am lucky to have had her for so long but we never really have enough time, we always would have liked more.

As we grew up mom was always there for us, we knew she would be there when we got home each day after school. She was always there for us if we got into trouble of any sort and never judged us. Having four children and two grandchildren, it was hard to spend quality time with each of us but she managed to create special private memories with each of us. I think sometimes she despaired of reaching me in particular as we were often at odds with each other. But reach me she did, the last three years of her life showed me what an amazingly strong and courageous woman she was. She wanted so much to stay with us and tried so hard to not be a burden. She was amazed at the love and support she got from her family and never failed to thank us for keeping her at home. Yes, she got cranky once in a while but she was entitled to that for what she was enduring. She worried about everyone else (especially dad) and how they were doing. In the end it was still all about family, not her and promises to look after each other when she was gone was so important to her. We are so lucky to have had her for the three years we did since her first stroke.

It is time now to rest mom. I am so proud of you. I will miss you so much, but you will live on in our hearts and we will love you always.

Lori's Words

She was my Mom and also my best friend…sometimes it was hard to differentiate between the two. We shared music, laughter, hockey, baseball, current events, cooking, pets and above all nurturing. She nurtured me, and taught me the art of nurturing. She taught me how to help others get along, to accept differences, appreciate all that a person has to offer and to forgive their failings. She taught me the love of family. She gave me the permission that it was o.k. to go forward in a modern world and not follow tradition….To follow my dreams of entrepreneurship and travel. She was a major worrier but even when I decided to build a new career and life in Belize she gave me her blessings.

As a child I would constantly cuddle up to her and lean on her shoulder. In fact when I came home from University after first year I was still doing it and she was kidding me to get off of her, as I was too much of a lug to carry! But lean on her I did…physically, spiritually, and emotionally for the rest of my life. I am proud that I was able, in turn, to let her lean on me a bit for the past few years.

I am so sad that you are gone Mom, but I am relieved that your struggles are over.

Your Lori-dory-day has you tucked in my heart and I know, that you know, that I will be the best “mini-mom” I can be.

David's Words

Hello, my name is David Reed, Betty Lou's son. Thank you all for joining us today to honor my Mother.

What can I say to pay tribute to my Mom? How could I ever adequately put into words what she has meant to me in my life? The answer is I can’t, but I will try.

My Mother quite simply had my back. And also of all those she loved. When life went wrong or right she would be there, always. There was never ever any doubt and it was such peace of mind. Such a gift to a child growing up and to the man he became. I have spent the majority of my fifty years with her close to me, and sharing many of life's moments. We were tight and shared a strong bond. She taught me a lot and had a great impact on the man and Father I am today. She taught me compassion and to love deeply. She brought music into my life and we shared the love of music together always. For some music is an occasional distraction. To us it was an everyday essential. It was liberating and passionate and important. And it would be something we shared and enjoyed all through out our life together.

There is no doubt the influence she had on my parenting. I learned from her to put my child first. To always be there, to always be supportive and to work hard at family. To love fiercely and unashamedly, to enjoy the family process and to enjoy the result that comes of being "all in" committed to family. I know my boys forever benefit directly from her heart and her commitment. She lives now in me, and also in them because of this.

The dignity and will to live she showed the last three years was a new lesson she had for me as I never anticipated she could endure such hardship with such quiet strength. I said to her once that these were the cards you were dealt and we will all do the best we can and she quietly said “Well I don't like my cards”. That is as close as she came to complaining to me. She had won over and made friends with many of her care givers and one of the last things I heard her say was to them, as she pointed at me at the foot of her bed, was “That's my baby and I love him”. And I of course I said and I love you too for there was really nothing more to say. That said it all. A lifetime wrapped up in a few short words. Nothing else was needed to say between us. Nothing left unsaid between us…we knew where we stood.

Of course this is just a small fraction of who my Mother was and what she means to me and to those that knew and loved her but it would take a lifetime to really do her justice and properly thank her. After watching her fight to stay with us the last three years I told her how proud I was of her and I will carry that feeling with me always. The way she faced her situation with quiet dignity was a parting gift she gave us. Again she showed me one last life lesson. And leads a path to follow. It is now for us to carry forward, with her in our hearts, and find peace and happiness as she wanted for us. She still lives, and will always live in me and in her family and friends she touched along the way. That will always for us be comforting.

I will conclude with a line from a children's book I used to read my son.

“I will love you forever. I will love you for always. Forever and ever your baby I'll be”. You have been all I ever wanted in a Mother. All I needed, and I thank you Mom with all my heart. and I thank all of you for sharing this today and in celebrating the life of a gentle soul and a beautiful women who will remain forever in our hearts.

REED, Betty Lou - Surrounded by her family, Lou passed away on March 28, 2012. Beloved wife of Bill Reed for nearly 60 years. Loving mother of Wendy Mannello (Mario), Leslie O’Connell (Melbourne Australia), Lori, and David (Lisa). Cherished Gram of Rick, Jackson and Jade. Daughter of the late Ella and Sam Levine. Dear sister of Elaine Stillert (late Frank) and Aunt of Susan Tagliabracci (Vince) and the late Scott Sanderson. Grand aunt to Vinnie Tagliabracci (Jenna) of San Diego California. Cousin to the late Pat Stephen/Spadoni, late Gordon Stephen (Leona), Ron Booth (late Gerri) of Deep River and Joan St. Amand (late Joe) of Thunder Bay. Special appreciation extended to Dr. D. Fera, Cathy McCullough, the caring staff at SAH and the home caregivers from CCAC for their compassion and patience. Lou will be remembered by her many friends in the Sault and by so many friends at their winter home for the past 20 years in Lakeland, Florida. She taught us all how to overcome adversity and to appreciate the joy in life. When we remember Lou our hearts will not ache, they will smile. Friends may call at the Arthur Funeral Home & Cremation Centre on Wednesday, April 11, 2012 from 11am until time of the memorial service in the chapel at 1 pm. Donations to the SAH or the Heart and Stroke Foundation would be appreciated.

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REED, Betty Lou - Surrounded by her family, Lou passed away on March 28, 2012. Beloved wife of Bill Reed for nearly 60 years. Loving mother of Wendy Mannello (Mario), Leslie O’Connell (Melbourne Australia), Lori, and David (Lisa). Cherished Gram of Rick, Jackson and Jade. Daughter of the late Ella and Sam Levine. Dear sister of Elaine Stillert (late Frank) and Aunt of Susan Tagliabracci (Vince) and the late Scott Sanderson. Grand aunt to Vinnie Tagliabracci (Jenna) of San Diego California. Cousin to the late Pat Stephen/Spadoni, late Gordon Stephen (Leona), Ron Booth (late Gerri) of Deep River and Joan St. Amand (late Joe) of Thunder Bay. Special appreciation extended to Dr. D. Fera, Cathy McCullough, the caring staff at SAH and the home caregivers from CCAC for their compassion and patience. Lou will be remembered by her many friends in the Sault and by so many friends at their winter home for the past 20 years in Lakeland, Florida. She taught us all how to overcome adversity and to appreciate the joy in life. When we remember Lou our hearts will not ache, they will smile. Friends may call at the Arthur Funeral Home & Cremation Centre on Wednesday, April 11, 2012 from 11am until time of the memorial service in the chapel at 1 pm. Donations to the SAH or the Heart and Stroke Foundation would be appreciated.