Christina Graham

GRAHAM, Christina- After travelling much of the world Mom has taken her final long awaited journey home. Peacefully at the FJ Davey Home surrounded by family on Monday, August 19, 2019 at the age of 95. Predeceased by her husband Edward H. Graham. Loving and caring mother of Phyllis Pold (late Paul), Patricia Chandrashekar (Shekar), Garry Graham (Gail), Warren Graham (Jennifer), Paula Collins (Steven). Sweet Grandma of Leanne, Jeffrey, Amanda (Reilley), Jessica, Samantha (Ryan), Aimie, Esther (Alvaro), James (Kendra), Joshua (Krista), Rachel, Nathannael, Elizabeth, Naomi and Hannah. Great Grandma of Nicholas (Jamie), Owen, Emily, Colby, Liam, Emma, Diego, Ruby, Flynn and Ella. Admired sister of Mary Sabados (late Louis), Helen Sabados (late Albert), Ann Hiebert (late Vi), Ernie Hiebert (late Diane), late Bill Hiebert (late Helen), Alvin Hiebert (late Lottie), Grace Denhard (late Orville), Walter Hiebert (Tina), late Norma Jedeski (late Ed) and Tom Hiebert (Delores). Also survived by many nieces and nephews. Friends may visit at the Arthur Funeral Home - Barton & Kiteley Chapel on Saturday, August 24, 2019 from 12 pm until 1:30 pm. Celebration of life to follow in the chapel at 2 pm. Mr. Marshall Lawrence officiating. Cremation with interment Greenwood Cemetery. Memorial contributions to the CNIB, Ontario Finnish Resthome Association or the FJ Davey Home would be appreciated. Special thanks to the staff of both the Ontario Finnish Resthome and the FJ Davey Home for their outstanding kindness & professional and respectful care of our mother.

FUNERAL SERVICE:

Eulogy - Marshal Lawrence

Let us begin our memory of Christina by looking at John 14:1-4 (NLT).

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled.” Jesus said this because he could see the pain and uncertainty in his disciples’ eyes. The disciples were distressed because Jesus had just told them that one of them would betray him. Then he told Peter that he would deny him. Before that he had talk about his death. The disciples were confused, so he said,

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”

Christina knew what it was to trust in God. One of the few things she had in her possession when she died was the poem “Hello God” given here, which reflects her trust and dependence on God.

Hello God, I called tonight

To talk a little while

I need a friend who’ll listen

To my anxiety and trial.

You see, I can’t quite make it

Through a day just on my own…

I need your love to guide me

So I’ll never feel alone.

I want to ask you please to keep

My family safe and sound

Come and fill their lives with confidence

For whatever fate they’re bound.

Give me faith, dear God, to face

Each hour throughout the day

And not to worry over things

I can’t change in any way.

I thank you God, for being home

And listening to my call

For giving me such good advice

When I stumble and fall.

Your number, God, is the only one

That answers every time

I never get a busy signal

Never had to pay a dime.

So thank you, God, for listening

To my troubles and my sorrow

Good night, God, I love You, too,

And I’ll call again tomorrow!

She trusted in God and in Jesus. One of her favourite pictures was of Jesus standing at the door, knocking. Revelation 3:20

“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.

This was her confidence. Not that life would be easy, but that God was with her in it, and walked with her.

One of her concerns was for her family. Esther commented on how her Grandmother prayed for her Grandchildren even before they were born. Rachael recalls how her Grandmother was at every event, recitals, graduation, and so on. Several of the grandchildren related how their grandmother took them shopping for special treats or involved them in an activity she knew they would enjoy.

But Christina not only lived knowing that God was with her, but also that one day he would open the door wider and she would walk through it, into the room with him.

Jesus went on to say...

“2 There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? 3 When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t say, “Don’t worry about me. I will be alright. I am going to be with my Father. No, he said, “Don’t worry because you will be alright. I am going to make sure of that. And it sounds like Jesus is saying he was going to make a place special for each one. So I want us to think now for a few minutes what that room was like when God opened the door for Christina and she walked through. What did it have in it to make it her special room?

• A bouquet of flowers, yellow Flowers (Naomi)

• Something left undone that she could use her special hammer on. (Example of covering over the door in the wrong place in her house in Wawa and putting it in the right place.)

• One of her gadgets. MacGyver of creations” (Esther)

• A pot of tea.

• Not just licorice from Walmart or MacDonald’s french fries(James).

Those things would pale in contrast to the feast set before her. Made special because her master is there to eat with her.

TRIBUTE TO MOM - Garry

Hi Everybody, I think most of you know who I am. I’m Garry. Mum has five children. I’m the middle one.

Thank you for coming today. This is a very important celebration for all of us and it’s nice to be able to share it with you.

Let me say, to start with, that my wife, Gail, is not able to attend, but you can bet that she is watching wherever this video stream is going, you can bet that she is watching that so… "Hi Gail." She did, however, compose a message that my sister is going to be reading for you. That’s coming up.

Gail also has a large family in British Columbia where we live and we have lots of friends there and they have ALL been very fortunate to meet Mum and my family and they LOVE her! They sent me here with the mission, to make sure, that everybody knows how much they love her and to make sure that you know that they send their condolences for her passing.

I’d like to tell you a short story. It’s a short story. So I’ll get on to it. It’s of course about Grandma, Mom, Auntie, you know…all those things…brother, sister. OK. It is something that just kinda’ jumped into my head lately, and I am having a difficult time shaking it so maybe if I tell you I can let go. OK. If not it’s OK, I can live with it for a while. It starts out a little bit odd, but it will all come together in the end, I hope.

One winter day in Wawa, I would have been maybe 8 years old, something like that. At the time, Mom, Phyllis and Pat and I were walking down Broadway Street, sorry, Warren and Paula, you weren’t there yet…loved to have you there.

Where were we going? We were on Broadway Avenue going to Auntie Mary’s house on Broadway. Remember that house? Yeah. We went there quite often. So here’s the picture. It’s like you know, the kind of day that only happens in Wawa. Blue, crisp, winter’s day - just gorgeous, a little blanket of snow, and you know how it gets real glittery, like jewels sparkling, well that’s the kind of day it was, and there we were just around Hudson’s Bay, right, heading towards Mariettes, and Mom was walking really fast and us kids were scattering around trying to keep up to her.

And I said to Mom how did you learn to walk so fast, or where did you learn to walk so fast? She said, “It’s my farmer’s walk.” That really rang a bell with me. And she keeps on walking. But I am caught off guard…I’m thinking…"farmer’s walk." What’s that about? What’s a farmer’s walk? So, I kinda’ bet that you are thinking that this story is about her walk…well, it is and it isn’t.

What it is, it’s about Mom. I suddenly realized at that point that I really didn’t know her as well as I thought I did, right. This is when I started to see Mom in a different way. Now hold on, she was still the same wonderful Mother, right. She was always there for us and she took care of our daily needs … made our meals, washed our clothes, joked and played with us. Actually what didn’t she do? She was a great Mother.

But there is now another whole feature added to her. I started to see her as she would have been when she was a bright, young girl walking around the farm. You would know that, Uncle Alvin. So here’s these big strides, she’s walking like she is on an errand! So this is the kind of imaging I start seeing of her. And then she grew into a young adult, I could see her stepping out to challenge the big city life of Winnipeg, along with her sisters. They were gorgeous! Phyllis and I were talking about this the other night. They must have made their own clothes. They probably tailored their own clothes. And they were always dressed up in nice skirts and everything tailored, cool hats…they meant business, those girls!

Then, as time went on, it was time to make decisions and this was the age, right Phyllis, 21, she married to our Dad…a foreigner, an Englishman. This led her to making more decisions and one of the big ones was to leave her roots and to move away and set up her own family in a small town called Wawa. This required courage. And I am sure she was very quiet about it. And along with that, she might have encouraged some of her family to come to Wawa as well.

So let’s fast forward to more like the present and we are here today to remember all the wonderful, happy times that we had together with Mom, and everything that we learned from Mom’s strength. We are here today to recognize how our fast-walking, loving and caring Mother has blessed our lives.

Always in our hearts, please join me when I say, I thank you Mother, I love you Mom, bless you forever.

Thank you.

Lovingly from your son, Garry xo

MEMORIES OF MOM - Gail (read by Phyllis)

My Mother-in-law…ChrisTina Graham

I met my mother-in-law, ChrisTina Graham, for the first time when Pat & Shekar got married in Wawa. Their wedding was such a significant event for the family and the talk of the town in Wawa. What a great introduction to this remarkable family!

Garry and I arrived from British Columbia by train to White River and Mum drove to pick us up. Even though I was a complete stranger, Mum welcomed me immediately with a huge hug and her contagious giggles. Phyllis has those same giggles…and Warren, too. Come to think of it, so do Pat, Paula and Garry!

Warren and Paula were just little way back then. I fell in love with adorable Warren instantly. Gosh, he was curious and clever…as he is today. I didn’t get to know Paula until awhile later, as she had a long hospital stay at Sick Kids in Toronto. I have always thought of her as an amazing kid sister.

I had the upstairs bedroom facing north in the home on Wawa lake. One of the first nights, the Northern Lights woke me up! I had never seen anything so magnificent…I am sure I even heard them.

I remember when all the extended family started arriving for the big wedding…the Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. I had been pre-warned about the shenanigans and dynamics of a few of them! I remember to this day how Mum embraced every one of them…genuinely. It was my early lesson of many that Mum taught by example. This one was about unconditional love and acceptance.

As someone who had little opportunities for advanced formal education, Mum was an amazing teacher…she taught me so many things…practical skills and incredible life lessons always by example. The creative, self-taught skills that Mum had made her so self-reliant. She made marvels out of nothing. She was thrifty yet she made such stylish clothes. She repaired everything with the most basic of tools. She has passed those wonderful, yet practical skills on to all her daughters AND her sons and they all have MacGyver style fix-it skills…all thanks to Mum.

Even if Mum was struggling with something she still handled things with love, compassion and understanding. With five kids, and Dad, she was sometimes put to the test with some of them more than others…for example, there’s the one daughter who tested the limits of dating when she was a teen (Not to mention any names, Phyl!) and the one son who experimented with science stuff and blew his finger off! (Not mentioning any names Warren!) ...and the son who left his somewhat conservative family to become a hippie out in BC -- for a while. Remember the story when Dad told his hippie son “to get out of town” after the wedding, (Not to mention any names, Garry!) That story still makes me laugh to this day. BUT it was Mum that wouldn’t hear of it. Her diplomacy skills of quiet, respectful and fair determination won over, and her peace making tactics could be examples for organizations striving for world peace.

She was the most significant example to me as someone who embraced her faith 24/7…not just on Sundays. I remember when Mum, Dad, Warren & Paula visited us in BC. Mum was up early in the mornings (the only quiet time she could get) sitting in our back yard reading her Bible… every early morning.

Wasn’t Mum just the funniest person? Even late in life with her health challenges, her spirit was uplifting with laughter and giggles.

On one of their many visits to BC, when Warren was in his teens, we were all at a mall near Castlegar. We were standing in line to pay for our stuff and a lady standing behind Mum, a complete stranger, leaned over and said to Mum with disgust, “Look at that young man in front of you checking out. I feel sorry for his family. Look at his Mohawk haircut!” Mum quietly responded to her saying, “We don’t really care for it either, but we sure love him anyways as he’s our son!” The lady abruptly walked away and then the rest of us just couldn’t hold it in any longer…we burst into hysterical laughs with Mum!

Mum had such style! Hey, when did she decide to spell her name ChrisTina with a capital “T” in the middle of her name? Wasn’t that cool?

Up until it was difficult for her to use a phone, we would call her every week or she would call us. Mum updated us on everyone. She would go through each family member and tell us the latest news about her children and grand children. It might be a job James was working on, or when Leanne was pregnant, or where Esther was traveling or Jeff’s newest tech thing, or Jessica’s ambitious education pursuits, or Amanda’s crafty DIY project or Josh’s cleverness with computers, or Sam’s success in nursing and something always touching about Rachel, or Nathannael with his heart of gold and of course thoughtful Elizabeth and adorable, giggly Naomi and Hannah. THEN came the extended families and all the delightful great grand kids! Mum used to laugh as she sorted them all out. We sure miss those calls.

Mum always treated me like a family member. I felt that I belonged to this amazing Graham/Hiebert clan. Likewise, Mum instantly connected to my parents and family when she & Dad and the kids visited BC. It was as if we knew her all our lives…she just fit in. There were no in-laws and outlaws in her world…just family.

I cringed when the occasional friend would complain to me about their awful mother-in-law. I actually felt sorry for them. I was the most blessed person having Mum in my life…my earthling angel, as I called her. I loved her so much. I am forever grateful for her and her unconditional love. I am so happy for you, Mum, that you spread your heavenly wings and found your final resting spot in the arms of the Lord.

Your loving daughter-in-law, Gail xo

PAULA'S LETTER TO MOM

Dear Mom,

Just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You loved butterflies and flowers, gardening and teatime. You loved coffee with your morning Bible time and Wendy’s baked potato any time! You loved grandchildren and babies, all your children and their spouses. Most of all you loved your Lord.

I’m quite sure that, in my teen years, there was never a morning that you weren’t up before everyone else, in the cold house, wrapped in blankets, reading your Bible. You were an amazing example of quiet faith and determined character.

Even though Warren and I were born to you in your 40’s, you wanted to make sure we never felt like we were a burden to you. You did everything with us that a young mom would have. You learned to swim when we did, you refitted some old crosscountry skis and we three learned to ski together! You even allowed us to re-teach you how to ride a bike, but that ended with an incident involving a ditch and a rose bush!! You were a good sport, Mom!

You loved us unconditionally. When we strayed, you did your best to guide us back to the right path. But, regardless of the path we chose, we knew you’d love us always.

I will miss the years that you were my lifeline. When I was a young mom and needed an adult to talk with to keep me sane, you were there every day to chat on the phone. Or maybe even more than once a day! You came to all the Christmas Concerts, homeschooling events, piano recitals, community day parades, Remembrance Day services and even a few baseball games with us.

Even in your later years you continued to attempt to keep updated on all your children’s lives. When you asked about our farm you were surprised every time I mentioned 100 laying hens! We knew you always prayed for us and you were truly a Proverbs 31 woman.

• capable and trustworthy

• up before dawn and prepared for your household

• always busy, energetic and a hard worker

• extended help to the poor

• made sure your family was well clothed

• strength and dignity

• no fear of the future

• words that were wise

• instructions were full of kindness

Proverbs 31: 30-31

“CHARM IS DECEPTIVE AND BEAUTY DOES NOT LAST; BUT A WOMAN WHO FEARS THE LORD WILL BE GREATLY PRAISED. REWARD HER FOR ALL SHE HAS DONE. LET HER DEEDS PUBLICLY DELARE HER PRAISE.”

I’ll come and join you later Mom, for some tea and cookies.

Love, Paula

BIOGRAPHY

THE EARLY YEARS, 1924 to 1944.

Mom was born prematurely, the first of 11 children, to Peter and Helen Hiebert. She was born in Winkler, Manitoba but would have grown up in Paraguay had her Dad not been rejected for a medical condition. I think he was a carrier of the typhoid bacteria. Her Dad’s condition prevented Mom’s parents from emigrating to Paraguay in 1927 along with the rest of the Harder family. All that remained of the very large Harder family was two of Mom’s uncles, one of whom, Henry, disappeared (only to be “found” through a “Notice to Creditors” after his death). Mom’s grandparents on her Dad’s side, the Hieberts, remained in Manitoba but the loss of support from the Harder side when Mom was only 3 years old, left quite a hole in those early years. After Mom, came her siblings Helen, Mary, Anne, Ernie, Bill, twins Alvin and Grace, Norma, Walter and Tom. Mom’s brother, Tom, was born 5 months after she gave birth to her first child, Phyllis.

Mom’s grandfather Harder was a Mennonite lay preacher whose family had been invited to Canada by the Queen of England as they were known to be expert farmers. They were given plots of land around Winkler Manitoba and part of the agreement was that they would be permitted to maintain their own language and that Mennonite children would go to Mennonite schools. In 1927, the Canadian government changed that policy. That change prompted the departure of many Canadian Mennonites, some of whom also settled in Mexico.

Mom and her sisters and brothers grew up under harsh conditions made livable by her mother’s gentle manner and ability to make do. Mom told stories about one winter that her Mom stuffed rags between the logs that were the walls to their home in order to keep out the drafts. I’m told that home was in fact an abandoned horse barn but that her Mom made sure the dirt floor was swept. One summer their Dad took them into the bush to live in tents in a logging camp. I think her Mother was supposed to cook for the loggers. The Hiebert grandparents came and took them away saying that was no place for a family to live.

Mom said they went to a one-room school house but they spoke English poorly and were harassed on the way to school by other kids. Mom liked school, history in particular, but was not allowed to stay in school for very long. It was the Dirty 30’s, the Great Depression, and her Dad sent her out to work as a domestic at the age of 12. Mom didn’t mind cleaning and cooking but did not want to be placed in a house to mind children – she had had enough of that at home. On one occasion, she was in a house that had a child and she was left to mind the child on a Sunday, her day off. Mom said that she put on all the clothes that she could and left. She went to her grandma Hiebert’s house. Mom put an end to that job!

Mom’s Dad would come and collect her earnings on pay day. I’m told that she got in trouble with her father one pay day because she had spent her pay on a winter coat. Mom then decided that she would find a job where her Dad would not be able to take her earnings. That job was at Concordia Hospital in Winnipeg. Mom and her friend Helen Weins worked in the kitchen and laundry and lived in the residences on the property. Soon Mom’s sisters, Helen and Mary, were in Winnipeg as well and they all got work in a glove factory. This must have been where Mom perfected her sewing skills. Mom said that her sister Mary was particularly good at sewing so Mary sewed the design on the back of the gloves. The three older girls sent money home so that their sister, Anne, could take high school correspondence courses, a benefit they never had.

But Mom’s favourite job was that of a riveter at the airplane factory in Fort William during the war. Mom and several friends planned on going. Mom had to join them later as she came down with a cough (that cough plagued her for a life-time) and she had to leave Fort William before the others because she was called home to Winnipeg to help out her family. But while there the girls had a good time. They were away from home and living independently among a group of friends.

THE WAWA YEARS – 1945 to 1975

Mom and Dad had met in Winnipeg when Dad showed up at Mom’s apartment to take out one of Mom’s room-mates. The room-mate wasn’t home so Dad took Mom out instead. They were married on May 5, 1945, in the parlour of Knox United Church in Winnipeg.

Dad was in the army at the time, posted in the training division. He had learned how to operate a movie projector when he lived in England and had made use of that skill in Wawa where he had a business showing movies in the Union Hall.

Mom must have been in shock when she first moved to Wawa with Dad. Mom was 21 and she had enjoyed her life in the big city of Winnipeg. Here she was in a small mining town in northern Ontario. There wasn’t even a road out of town – the only route in and out was by train – the Algoma Central Railway! There was no hospital, only a nurse’s station. The closest thing to a hospital was a Red Cross outpost in Hawk Junction, several miles away. But for Mom, it was another adventure.

Mom and Dad set up house in another horse barn, behind Mr. and Mrs. George’s house. The Georges were friends of Dad’s. Mr. George was a manager of the Surluga gold mine. That horse barn was in better shape than the one Mom knew from her childhood. They must have lived there for a year or so, because I think they were still there when Phyllis was born the following year.

It must have been lonely for Mom because she knew no one and, in the evenings, Dad showed movies at the Union (Lions) Hall. Dad would also take his projector and films to Michipicoten Harbour and High Falls which meant he would stay overnight and return the following day. Mom said Dad would take the film and projector on a toboggan in the winter and walk to the Harbour along the railway tracks.

They soon moved into the “little house” on Wawa Street overlooking Wawa Lake. It had two bedrooms but Mom, Dad, Phyllis and I shared one bedroom and Uncle Arthur and his friend George Apps had the other. Uncle Arthur was the first of many family members who came to stay with us. In the following years, Uncle Ernie, Uncle Bill and Uncle Alvin all came for various lengths of time. There was good work for them at the iron mines and sinter plant. Mom did all the cooking, cleaning and laundry.

Mom went home to Winnipeg (by train) for the birth of Phyllis. When I was due, Mom thought she knew the routine and decided she would have me in Hawk Junction at the Red Cross outpost. It was winter (March). Mom took the train to Hawk and boarded at someone’s home until she was ready to deliver, at which point, her landlords pulled her to the hospital on a toboggan. There was a doctor there, however, he was busy playing broomball, and resented that he was taken away from the game. After my birth, Mom did not see him again and was left to fend for herself. Lesson learned - for Garry’s birth, Mom went back to Winnipeg.

In 1951, Mom and Dad went to England. The trip was so newsworthy that there was even an article about it in the Algoma Daily News section of the Sault Star! (see the article, supplied by Gail!). They left Phyllis, Garry and me in Manitoba for the five weeks that they were gone. Grandpa Graham was still living in London at the time and Dad must have been excited to show Mom around. It was Mom’s first trip out of Canada and I think she had a great time.

Dad began to build a bigger house. He had a building lot on the main street, Broadway Avenue. At some point he sold that lot and had the unfinished house towed to a lot beside the little house where he completed construction. Mom and Dad kept the little house next door as a rental property.

The big house initially had no basement. There was a center hall under which there was a crawl space that contained an oil furnace. There was a large grate in the floor above the furnace and in the winter, Mom would set up a clothes drying rack. She would first hang the clothes outside on the line and then bring them in, frozen solid, and finish drying them above the furnace. The idea was that the house would be heated by convection. That meant that the warm air should eventually drift up from the crawl space and warm the house. There were two bedrooms on the first floor. One for Mom and Dad and the other for we three kids. We were warm enough but there were two bedrooms upstairs. That is where the uncles stayed. After the uncles left, Phyllis and I moved into those upstairs bedrooms and complained bitterly that that convection heating thing was not working! There was so much ice on the inside of the windows in the winter that we couldn’t see outside and there was frost on the knee wall doors. In an effort to get more heat upstairs, Dad installed a grate in the floor of the landing upstairs and smaller ones in each bedroom. I’m not sure it helped much.

Mom took us three kids to Manitoba for a few weeks every summer. We went by train, of course, but we had to change trains from the ACR to either the CP at Franz or the CN at Oba. I can remember sleeping on the hard train station benches waiting for the connecting train. The trip to Winnipeg was Mom’s opportunity to do some shopping so we trailed after Mom through the Hudson’s Bay store in downtown Winnipeg where she bought essentials not available in Wawa, and in particular, fabric to make clothes. This was also a chance to see family and we spent wonderful times with our grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on the farm in Marquette. Dad gave Mom an allowance to buy groceries but to pay for our Winnipeg trips, Mom did a variety of jobs: first she sold Beauty Counselor products, then for a long time, she ironed shirts for the dry cleaner, and later she was the caretaker for our church, First United. Phyllis, Garry and I pitched in with the cleaning of the church but I’m not sure how much help we were. The dry-cleaner, Des Stewart, told Dad that Mom was his best ironer and he had Mom iron the shirts of his most important customers!

Over the years, Mom’s sisters, Mary and Helen and their families moved to Wawa. Two of Mom’s brothers came as well - Ernie married and brought his wife, Diane, and Alvin married Lottie and settled in Wawa. We had big family gatherings for all the holidays. I’m sure it made an enormous difference for Mom and certainly for Phyllis, Garry and me and also for Warren and Paula - it felt good to have an extended family around.

Mom smoked in those days and Dad strongly disapproved. Dad particularly disapproved of Mrs. Ritchie, Mom’s smoking companion. I remember one day that Mom urgently sent me to White’s grocery store to buy some Wriggley’s gum. Dad was coming home soon and Mom had been smoking. I don’t remember when Mom broke the habit.

Mom was always busy. She baked all our bread, sewed a lot of our clothes, knit sweaters, and made current jam and gooseberry jam from the bushes in the back yard. Mom was not fond of cooking traditional Mennonite food but did try to cook traditional English meals for Dad, particularly roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. The Yorkshire pudding was a challenge, and although I thought it tasted fine, Mom was never really satisfied with it. She did make excellent beef steak and kidney pie, though, much to Garry’s dismay. He tried not to come home for that meal and claimed he could smell it cooking the minute he left the school yard! I was very impressed when Mom would make cream puffs. They were so good!

There was plenty to do in Wawa even though it was inaccessible by road. In the early years, Dad had a sailboat and there were picnics down the lake, hikes to Magpie High Falls, blueberry picking, swimming in Wawa Lake, skiing and tobogganing in winter. Nevertheless, Dad bought a car in 1953. It was a beautiful maroon Ford. He had it shipped in by rail and Uncle Arthur taught Dad to drive. That expanded our possibilities and we drove to Sandy Beach on Lake Superior, to Michipicoten Harbour, the Mission, and to Hawk Junction. Dad had a friend in Hawk Junction, Theo Bouchey. Theo ran the Big Bear Hotel in Hawk and he would show movies on the week-ends. We would go for a show and after it was done, Mom and us kids would wait in the car for ages, it seemed, for Dad to finish chatting with Theo. Somehow, Mom never complained.

Mom was not timid when the need arose. I remember one day I came home from Grade 6. It was fall, September or October, and school had been underway for a few weeks. My teacher, Mr. H, was new to the school. I reported to Mom that it was odd that Mr. H had been sending certain girls to the janitor’s closet down the hall where he threatened to mete out some sort of punishment. I was not one of the girls selected, however, I was uncomfortable about it and the girls had not warranted any punishment that I had noticed. Mom did not hesitate. She was out the door and over to the school immediately and we never saw that teacher again. I think, in some cases, Wawa was the last chance for some teachers. However, for the most part, the teachers were good.

The Trans-Canada highway opened in Wawa in 1960. It was a huge occasion for the town and meant we could now drive all the way to Sault Ste. Marie! It was also when we started our camping holidays. We had pitched a tent on Sandy Beach one summer. Dad commuted in to town for work at the LCBO. But when the highway opened, Mom packed our tent and all the supplies into the trunk of the car and Dad drove. We went to Pancake Bay and we even went as far as Ottawa. Eventually, Mom and Dad bought a small trailer. This meant they could go further. Both Mom and Dad were adventurers.

As small and insignificant as Wawa was, family still wanted to come. In the mid 1960’s, our cousin Neal, Dad’s brother Ron’s son, came to Wawa from London, England. Neal stayed with Uncle Arthur and worked for Uncle Arthur in his trucking business. Mom and Neal got along well. I can still see them at the kitchen table, chatting and drinking tea. Neal then moved on to British Columbia, and settled near where Garry and Gail currently live. In 1958, Dad’s sister, Ethel, had visited. Then in 1968, Aunty Ethel retired from her store in England, packed her belongings in a trunk and decided to move to Wawa so she would be near her brothers, Dad and Uncle Arthur. Aunty Ethel didn’t make it to Canada. She died of a heart a few days before she was to leave.

In 1966 and 1967, Warren and Paula were born. For both births, Dad drove Mom to the hospital (Wawa had a hospital by that time), left her there, and came home. I guess it was the way things were done at the time. I think we even went to bed and didn’t call the hospital until the morning!

Both Warren and Paula were the cutest babies and Phyllis, Garry and I thought they were so much fun! But that was just about the time when Phyllis, Garry and I left home – Garry to BC, Phyllis to the Soo and I went to Hamilton. It was a rough start for Mom because Paula had double hip dysplasia that wasn’t diagnosed until she was almost 2 years old. Treatments in the Sault Ste. Marie hospital did not rectify the problem, so Mom and Paula went to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto. Mom was devastated that she had to leave Paula in Toronto and return to Wawa to look after Warren and Dad. Paula was there for several months. I was at McMaster University in Hamilton at the time so I visited Paula as often as I could as did Dad’s friends, the Bradleys, who lived in Toronto. When Paula returned home, Mom made kept up her exercise routine and Paula was soon up and running.

Those two, Warren and Paula, had privileges that we older three never had – for example, a TV! There was no TV allowed in the house when we lived at home – Mom’s rules! TV was a distraction from homework so we had to go to our friend’s homes if we wanted to watch it. Not that Wawa received many channels anyway. Warren and Paula also got take swimming lessons in an indoor pool (we had to learn to swim in the freezing cold Wawa Lake) and they also got to see Mom learn to swim. Since Mom hadn’t been able to swim, it had been very stressful for her living so close to the lake. Dad bought Mom a red VW Beetle and the next-door neighbor, Jill Reeves, gave Mom driving lessons. Mom beetled all over town driving Warren and Paula to the skating rink for skating lessons, and to the pool for swimming lessons.

Garry and Gail came to Wawa in 1970 and stayed for a period of time to work at the hostel for stranded hitch-hikers out at the Fort on Lake Superior. I know that Mom, Warren and Paula loved having them around. Dad not so much so as he was distressed by their hippy lifestyle. Dad’s objections did not last. He came to love their company, travelling many times to visit them in BC and travelling with them in England and Israel.

Mom and Dad, Warren and Paula did a lot of camping - at Pancake Bay, Red Lake, Kakabeka Falls, and particularly Obatanga Provincial Park near White River. They were joined by Auntie Mary and Uncle Louie, Uncle Alvin and Auntie Lottie, and Uncle Ernie and Aunty Diane and others. It was something that they all enjoyed. Mom and Dad also went as far as the East Coast with Warren and Paula and that trailer! I think that was a very happy time for Mom.

Dad turned 65 in 1974 which meant that he had to retire from the LCBO. He did not want to retire and made some enquiries into whether he could stay on, but there were to be no exceptions. This was likely what prompted their move from Wawa shortly after. They made a trip to Sault Ste. Marie to find a new home, packed up their belongings, and moved. One of the uncles drove the moving truck, Dad drove his car and Mom came last with Warren and Paula in the Beatle. Mom stopped at Pancake Bay for a break but when they got back in the Beatle, it wouldn’t start… no cell phones at that time so they just waited until someone noticed and came back for them. They had to leave the Beatle there. Someone went back the next day to see if they could get it going, unsuccessfully, so it was sold. That must have made Mom a bit sad. I know I was sad that they moved from Wawa. It had been a good place to grow up.

SAULT STE MARIE – 1975 to 2019

The move to the Soo was a big adjustment for everyone. The house needed work even though it was newly built. The landscaping was non-existent – the front yard was full of weeds and the back consisted of a steep bank of clay right down to the foundation at the back of the house. Mom got to work with a wheelbarrow and dug away enough of the bank to make a flat area at the base of the hill. Dad built a retaining wall to stabilize the bank. This was necessary to create a small back yard, but was also an attempt to improve drainage as moisture was making the basement wet and mouldy. Mom loved the work and was proud of the results. She planted lilac bushes in the front and along the side of the house and made it a home.

Mom busied herself with setting Warren and Paula up in school, sports and youth groups. She also tried to connect with the United Church but it was farther away. People’s Pentecostal Church was a few doors down the street so Mom, Warren and Paula went there. Mom found a community of people there that remained in her life for many years. Mom found comfort in the church. Unlike Wawa, where there were old friends and family, the Soo had none of that support so Mom found it in the church.

Dad sought out the synagogue. He met some people there but only went a few times. Dad was an atheist. With his Jewish background I guess he had experienced first-hand the nastiness that religion could inflict. Dad’s aversion to religion, and Mom’s attachment to the church became a very serious point of contention between them. I think that was the primary reason that Mom took Warren and Paula and left Dad in 1979. Mom rented an apartment nearby on Estelle Street but moved back with Dad about a year later.

Although Dad had not wanted to retire, he now took advantage of the freedom that gave him and he travelled. He went to England to visit his brother, Ron, and the theatres, but he wanted a warmer option for the winter. Mr. Goddard, whom Dad had met at the synagogue, was from Barbados. He connected Dad with the McLean’s, a British couple who had moved to Barbados from British Guiana. British Guiana took independence from Britain in the early 1960’s so the McLean’s, British citizens, moved to Barbados as it was still part of the British Empire. They were unable to take all of their money out of what became Guyana, so they took in boarders. Dad went there many winters for a month at a time. Dad also went to Israel, specifically the kibbutz Ein Gedi, where his friend Roy Anneau lived. Roy had worked for Dad at the LCBO store in Wawa. Dad loved his travels. Mom later joined Dad on trips to Israel and Barbados but not before she was certain her children were sufficiently independent.

Although Mom was left at home, she looked forward to Dad’s trips. Mom took that opportunity to make changes to the house that Dad was not prepared to take on, or that Dad would not understand the need for. Mom painted, papered, dug gardens, built shelves and remodeled closets. Mom enjoyed the freedom to do as she wished and loved making the house more comfortable.

Mom had the heart of a builder/architect/engineer. She loved examining house floorplans and would imagine how she would improve on them. In the summer of 1983, Mom assembled her team of builders to add a carport to the house. Garry and Gail came from BC and along with Dad, Warren, Paula, Phyllis, Paul and Jeffrey, they had an old-fashioned barn (carport) raiser. Mom, Dad and Garry communicated for months, sharing plans and ideas. Mum worked out what materials would be required and how much they would cost. She also had the idea of pre-painting all the materials before assembly. They had a lot of fun. To finish it off, Mom put up a clothesline, had cupboards built, put in a picnic table and made it a great outdoor living space.

Many other residents of Wawa, like Mom and Dad, moved to Sault Ste. Marie and Mom connected with two of them in particular. Mrs. K. had been a neighbour in Wawa and although we had not been close friends, Mrs. K. was now in the Soo and suffering with cancer. Mom took Mrs. K to doctor and hospital appointments and was with her when she passed. Mrs. M. was also in the Soo and needed support. Mom provided her with friendship.

Mom also kept busy with the various activities that Warren and Paula undertook. One evening, Mom was driving Warren and Paula home from one of those activities and she was pulled over by the police for suspected drunk driving. Apparently, Warren and Paula had been belting out a song in the back seat of the car and Mom was swinging along with the tune – all over the road! Mom was let off with a warning!

Some people are happy to spend their time relaxing in their home but Mom and Dad were always on the move. Mom and Aunty Mary made several road trips out to Manitoba to visit Grandma, Grandpa, and their sisters and brothers. Several times, Mom and Dad drove through five provinces to visit Garry and Gail in British Columbia! On at least one of those occasions, when it seemed that it would be too much for them, Warren drove them. They loved road trips and particularly the ones to BC. Occasionally, Mom and Dad would fly to Hamilton to join us after Christmas but in the summer, they often drove to Hamilton to visit us. Shekar, Jessica, Samantha and I looked forward to those visits.

Mom was usually self-controlled and even-tempered, but on occasion, Mom’s composure failed her. One of those times was when Warren blew up his basement workshop. He had been tinkering with explosives and they detonated in his hand. Mom wrapped up Warren’s hand, and with Warren and Dad in the back seat of the car and with Warren talking her through it, they barreled off to the hospital. Warren survived but part of his left hand did not.

Dad had health issues for some time. He suffered with angina and Dr. Jablonski was treating him for congestive heart failure. An angina attack put him in hospital in Israel and blood poisoning put him in hospital in Barbados. Warren made an urgent trip to Barbados to release Dad from the Barbados hospital and got Dad and Mom on the plane home. Dad may have taken a trip or two after that but Dad’s health continued to decline over the next few years and on June 13, 1996, Dad passed. He was 87.

Mom stayed in the house at Elliot Road for a few years with the help of a neighbour, Mr. Jeffery, who cleared the snow in winter and cut the lawn in summer. When Mom decided it was time to move into a smaller space, she chose an apartment on St. Mary’s River Drive, beside the Station Mall. Here Mom made friends with some of her new neighbours, one of whom was Lucy.

In 2002, Mom, Phyllis and I went to Portugal. It was the first of several trips we took together. We followed that up with two Caribbean cruises, a two week stay in Barbados, and a Danube River cruise. Paula joined us on the Danube River cruise. Mom was a fun travelling companion except she once forgot her passport at home. That was the very year that the United States was becoming very strict about identification. Mom showed her CNIB card and her (expired) driver’s license and it took a lot of begging but they finally allowed us to proceed to Miami to catch our cruise. We were very sad when Mom was no longer strong enough to come on our trips but we were sure to collect lots of post-cards for her. She was the ultimate post card collector.

In 2006, the entire family, particularly Mom and Warren, were overjoyed when Paula and Peter Proulx contacted Warren. They had adopted Warren’s daughter, Aimee, at birth. Mom and Warren went to Kelowna to meet Aimee and spent some time with her. It was an answer to Mom's prayers.

Mom had developed macular degeneration and was having difficulty reading. The CNIB was a valuable asset at that time and Mom was able to obtain several assistive devices from them as well as many hints for living well with failing eyesight. Mom, ever creative, developed many techniques of her own to cope. When it was obvious that Mom would have to give up driving, Mom took the initiative and decided to move to the Finn Home. It proved to be an excellent choice. Mom was responsible for making her own breakfast but lunch and dinner were provided in the dining room. The staff were caring and attentive. When Mom required more care, they stepped up the care, eventually making Mom’s breakfast for her and dispensing her medications. Phyllis was, as always, a key ingredient to Mom’s comfort, bringing her groceries and supplies, coordinating with the staff, taking her to doctor’s appointments and arranging for foot care and haircuts. We are ever grateful for Phyllis, as was Mom.

Just before Mom’s 94th birthday, in 2018, a room became available in the Davey Home. Mom had reached the limit of care that the Finn Home could provide. She found it increasingly difficult to walk to the elevator to go down for meals and was, in general, requiring more care. Over the last several years, Mom had had increasing dementia in that she would repeat the same question numerous times in a conversation and forget instructions. Mom and Phyllis had looked at various nursing homes and the Davey Home was at the top of their list. Nevertheless, it came as a shock to Mom that she was going to move out of the Finn Home as she loved it there.

The adjustment to the Davey Home took a little time, however, once Mom became familiar with the staff, she charmed them with her sly humour. The staff took great care of Mom and Mom improved with their support. Of course, Mom presented them with some challenges. Mom was no longer strong enough to walk and had several falls. They outfitted her with a wheelchair but Mom would forget that she was to stay in it. Again, several falls when she tried to stand up. The staff connected her to the wheelchair with an alarm – Mom disconnected it. They added a seatbelt – Mom unbuckled it. Finally, they tried a big tray in front of her and Mom loved it!

Mom had been anticipating and preparing for her passing for some time. Her parents had both lived to over the age of 100 and Mom did not plan on following their example. She was pretty close though. Mom passed on August 19, 2019, at the age of 95 in her own bed at the Davey Home. It was peaceful, just the way Mom planned it. Phyllis was there, playing gospel music on Mom’s CD player.

Mom was loved by many and is missed by many. We are grateful to Mom for the life she lived.

Biographies by Pat Chandrashekar

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GRAHAM, Christina- After travelling to many foreign countries Mom has taken her final long awaited journey home. Peacefully at the FJ Davey Home surrounded by family on Monday, August 19, 2019 at the age of 95.

Predeceased by her husband Edward H. Graham. Loving and caring mother of Phyllis Pold (late Paul), Patricia Chandrashekar (Shekar), Garry Graham (Gail), Warren Graham (Jennifer), Paula Collins (Steven). Sweet Grandma of Leanne (Roger), Jeffrey, Amanda (Reilley), Jessica, Samantha (Ryan), Aimie, Esther (Alvaro), James (Kendra), Joshua (Krista), Rachel, Nathannael, Elizabeth, Naomi and Hannah. Great Grandma of Nicholas (Jamie), Owen, Emily, Colby, Liam, Emma, Diego, Ruby, Flynn and Ella. Admired sister of Mary Sabados (late Louis), Helen Sabados (late Albert), Ann Hiebert (late Vi), Ernie Hiebert (late Diane), late Bill Hiebert (late Helen), Alvin Hiebert (late Lottie), Grace Denhard (late Orville), Walter Hiebert (Tina), late Norma Jadeski (late Ed) and Tom Hiebert (Delores). Also survived by many nieces and nephews. Chris was known as a generous, gentle soul with a delightful sense of humour. She was a role model to her children, a seamstress, gardener and handy with a hammer and saw. There weren't too many things she couldn't do, fix or renovate. We will miss her wise advice. Friends may visit at the Arthur Funeral Home - Barton & Kiteley Chapel on Saturday, August 24, 2019 from 12 pm until 1:30 pm. Celebration of life to follow in the chapel at 2 pm. Mr. Marshall Lawrence officiating. Cremation with interment Greenwood Cemetery. Memorial contributions to the CNIB, Ontario Finnish Resthome Association or the FJ Davey Home would be appreciated. Special thanks to the staff of both the Ontario Finnish Resthome and the FJ Davey Home for their outstanding kindness, professional and respectful care of our mother. You have all made her last years content and comfortable and we knew she was in capable caring hands.