Ebba Poldmaa

Dear friends and family, thank you for coming today to join us in a celebration of Emme’s life. For those that don’t know, Emme means mother in Estonian and for Ebba it was what she expected most people to call her, aside from her own friends.

Emme’s incredible life began in Tsooru, Estonia. She was born in April 2nd, 1925, the oldest of five. She had 3 sisters (Dore, Maia, Reet) and a brother (Mango but went by Matti). Emme’s father Rein Marits was a police officer and when she wasn’t in school she spent much of her life growing up on the farm of her uncle. Emme’s stories of farm life were endless entertainment for us as kids. I remember one particular funny story she use to tell, about when she was responsible for tending to the cows in the fields. She told me that some mornings it was very cold on the feet as the children were often without shoes and she said they would run from cow patty to cow patty on those cold frosty mornings and stand in them to warm their feet. She was very resourceful!

In 1940, at the age of 15 Emme’s dreams and aspirations were turned upside down when the Soviet Army invaded Estonia. Her father was a police officer and was marked for execution and fled to the forest and became part of the Partisans who waged guerilla warfare against the Soviets. Emme played a role in the resistance as well as she used to do food drops for her father. One story I remember her telling us was an incredible feat. During one of these food drops Emme was crossing an open field and heard a jeep along the road. She looked up and saw two Soviet soldiers yelling at her. She had instructions from her father that if she was ever pursued by a Soviet soldier she was to run to the forest, as the soldiers would not enter the forest because of the Partisans. So , Emme ran and zigzagged across that open field. She described hearing the bullets whizzing past her and striking the ground all around her. She made it to he forest and managed to return to her uncles farm. The next day her uncle who was over 6 ft tall went to the field and he could not match Emme’s footprints in the mud - she was literally flying across the field.

Then in 1944, at the age of 19, Emme was forced to leave her homeland forever. A friend, who I would meet many years later in Florida, drove the entire family to the Baltic coast where they boarded a cargo ship to Germany. They literally had hours to flee. As they were escaping Emme managed to grab an apron-full of family pictures, and in the last few minutes before the truck sped away Emme released all the farm animals, including her favourite horse, to save them from starving in their pens. The family dog sat hopefully on the step - but had to be left behind. Emme’s trials were not over. In 1945 she lost her mother, Ella, her sister Reet and her younger brother Matti during a bombing raid in Brandenburg. Fortunately for Emme, she and her other two sisters were working outside of the city as farm help.

After the refugee years in Gemany, Emme and her remaining family made it to England. There she met Elmar Poldmaa, after 4 dates over a period of 2 weeks they were married in 1951 in London and celebrated their 60th anniversary this past summer. It wouldn’t be until 1955 that they immigrated to Canada, with 3 children and her father. They landed at Pier 21 in Halifax with whatever they had managed to carry (baby buggy, a few dollars and her trusty sewing machine which became a key life tool for our family). This... was the start of a whole new life.

The story of the move to Canada was filled with endless tales but the one I remember the most was Emme describing the 3 day train trip from Halifax to Larder Lake Ontario, where they would settle until 1965, before eventually moving to the Sault. The way Emme described the train trip; she didn’t see many houses once they passed Montreal. In fact, she thought she was secretly being sent to Siberia because all she saw was trees and rocks, rocks and trees. Welcome to Northern Ontario! However, once in Larder Lake she found herself in a very generous community and surrounded by some incredible people with similar stories, who helped their young family get off to a great start in Canada, many of whom became lifelong friends.

The events that I just described and many, many others that I could not fit in shaped Emme’s values and character. Words such as resilience, strong-willed, self-reliant, confident come to mind but above all I would describe Emme as CARING, LOVING and DEVOTED, especially towards her family. Emme was always there for us and seemed to have a six sense that recognized when something was wrong. We can all remember Emme’s words during those times “Sa ei kunagi ei tea mis head tuleb halvast” (which roughly means “you never know what good will come from hard times”). As a child I didn’t really understand what she was talking about but it became an important mantra for me during my own hard times. Growing up with immigrant parents that experienced such rich and somewhat tragic lives gave all of us a very strong set of personal values. We learned to be creative, confident and caring. We learned how to become leaders, take risks and most of all to pursue our dreams. That’s one thing that I really loved about my parents - they didn’t interfere with our dreams. They let us go and do our own thing and they supported our decisions even though they may not have agreed with them. They were also there to catch us when we crashed, but it was never with an “I told you so”.

These values and characteristics eventually led us to attract our own mates that obviously found these attractive. I know Poldmaa’s can be hard to live with at times - we don’t often concede defeat and we can be strong willed. But I see this as Emme’s living legacy and it is alive and well in my own daughters. These characteristics helped me to become who I am today, and I am happy to see the same “strength” and confidence in my own girls, although some nights I wish they would just concede and go to bed. Emme taught us to stand up for ourselves and she made sure we were prepared, by giving us the skills that would help us everyday of our lives. We learned to sew, knit, crochet, cook – I’ll always remember her saying “You better learn how to cook because you may end up marrying someone that can’t”.

I look around the room and I see this incredible family - brothers, sisters, husbands and wives, grand kids and great grand kids and I can’t help but be proud of each and everyone of you. You all have your individual strengths and the sheer diversity of your talents is mind blowing. I’m sure you all know that Emme was also proud of you and what you brought to this family.

I’ve asked each of my siblings to write something that they felt they needed to share as well, but first I want to share my own special memory of Emme.

My most cherished memories center around hockey. Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday nights was a long standing tradition with my mom. It would often involve a big bowl of popcorn, homemade peanut butter cookies (made by myself) my brother Alar and Emme. It would take something pretty important to keep us from watching the game. Often during the game my brother and I would help Emme unravel old sweaters so she could knit us new hats and mittens.

Emme was also my biggest fan in my own hockey career. I still remember the day when I first signed up for recreational hockey. I think I was 6-7 years old. I was outside playing road hockey with my friends and Isa and Emme said that they were taking me to the McMeeken Center to get me signed up. I was walking on cloud nine. Then for the next 8 or 9 years Emme would be the one to come to almost every game. The first year I remember especially because the games were at 6 am and Emme would wake me up, have breakfast ready for me, help me get my hockey equipment on and then walk me to the arena. I remember some mornings were bitter cold and blowing snow and that 10 minute walk from our house seemed like an eternity. On those days Emme would always shelter me from the snow by letting me snuggle my head under her arm or if the going was deep I would walk behind her and follow her footsteps. Emme wasn’t your typical “hockey momma”. She wasn’t one to ring a cow bell and be screaming at me on the ice like many other parents. She was there to watch. After the game she would always praise me and tell me things she observed. Many of these things were very helpful to me. Year in and year out she was there and I really appreciated her presence. Thank You Emme!

I will now read a few words from my brothers and sisters.

Taimi Poldmaa (Second oldest daughter born Dec 27, 1954)

As an artist, I have been asked numerous times, “how did I learn about colour?” It’s a question that I often wondered about myself, and didn’t have an answer until lately, when Emme asked me to help her with an embroidery project. I traced out the pattern for her and then it came to choosing the colours of threads. She got out all her beautiful embroidery threads and laid them out on her bed. It looked like a gigantic palette. She carefully selected the colours from a multitude of tones and shades. She would try one, then the other, until we had the perfect combination. I will always think of Emme when I am choosing the paints for a new painting. I believe that an artist always paints them selves into the painting…..Emme is in mine too.

Alar Poldmaa (Second oldest son, born May 22, 1960)

Patting down the snow bank into a reasonable facsimile of a workbench, I looked up to see Emme, seated in her usual spot, behind her singer sewing machine, watching me from her bedroom window. Undoubtedly wondering and worried whether I would succeed in a desperate attempt at rebuilding the transmission of my car. The car was propped up by milk crates in her backyard. It was April and the yard was still full of snow. As a recent college graduate, I had just been offered a job in Alberta. The position was mine if I could get there in two weeks, so the pressure was on. Well, I think Emme was truly amazed when all those parts strewn across her snow covered backyard did make it back into the car, and then make the journey to Fort Saskatchewan, with two days to spare.

When I was little, Emme would call me for help when that same singer sewing machine would jam. She would pretend to be helpless, and make it seem that I fixed her singer, and I went along, happy to be her savior. As time passed, I learned a thing or two about that singer, and one day I fixed the jamming problem for good.

Funny how things work out. Thank you Emme - for your patience, for your guidance, and most of all, for your unconditional love. Maybe you were not so worried after all.

Kaja Poldmaa (Youngest daughter, born May 19, 1957)

Everyone knows I love to read, a book is never far from my side. I feel that this love for the written word was sparked by Emme. When I was very young (5-6) I remember going to the grocery store with her. She would often tell me that if I was good when we got to the checkout I could pick out a "golden book". By grade 5, I had my own community library that my friends would borrow from.

I remember Emme helping with my spelling homework; I realized later that she was learning the English language along with me. Her Estonia/English dictionary was always within reach. She taught me the importance of reading, of knowing where and what was happening in the world. Later in life I enjoyed going to the library to get books for Emme and discussing them afterwards. I will really miss this.

Through the stories of her life, good and bad, happy and sad, she taught me to see life as a glass half full. She always meant what she said and said what she meant. The meanings of words were important to her and wrong or careless use would sometimes spark a bit of a rant. For example, someone using the word “starving”.

Thank you for passing on your love of reading.

Enn Poldmaa (Eldest son, born April 29, 1952)

Emme was all about being resourceful and determined in her undivided focus on our family. My first recollection of her resolve occurred when I was four, and we were in the middle of the biggest blueberry season ever. It was our second summer in Canada and twelve long years since my mother had left her farm, and had the opportunity to preserve a harvest. Harvest we did! Enough boxes of blueberry jam that when we moved from Larder Lake nine years later we still had several boxes to bring along, and years later Robin and I were given a dusty jar, labeled 1958, and joked with her about it.... the berries still tasted wonderful.

When Emme’s pantry held a bounty she could not be happier.

Be it blueberries or garden produce she never missed a chance to provide us with the best, always with a piercing gaze and the caution

“YOU eat this, this is for YOU!” …we were loved.

Helle Stier (Oldest daughter, born September 2nd, 1953)

Kallis Emmekene. Dearest Emme, you have given us and your many friends all of the love in your heart, all of the work from your hands, and all of the wisdom of your soul. So now you can rest, and we will do our best to carry your legacy forward to our own families and friends.

Aitah Emme. Thank you Emme - I’ve always been amazed by you - losing your home and your family in Estonia through the ravages of the War; rudely exported into countries that didn’t speak your language; bravely crossing the ocean to Canada with three small children, your father, and your husband, and starting a new life here with literally $25 dollars in your wallet! Isa worked long hours in the gold mines of Northern Ontario to make a living for us and Emme was always busy from morning to night, not only cooking our meals and sewing our clothes, but always taking the time to teach us how to sew, or knit or embroider (We didn’t have TV in those days!), or helping us bake cookies and cakes (no wonder there are so many great chefs in our family!)

At bedtime, she would sing to us an Estonian lullaby and with the words of this song, Emmekene, I wish you a peaceful rest in the Arms of the Angels.

Emme’s oldest granddaughter Ashley Alleway, will now sing the lullaby.

Nuid uni tule rutuga

et magama ma jääks

kata oma tiivaga

et väsimus must läeks

olen homme parem

kui olin eile

olen homme parem

kui olin täna

on lõppen'd tööke

ja algab ööke

ei mingit müra

ei mingit kära

Kalli kalli, Emme.

English Translation:

Come soon to me, Dreams, so that I may sleep.

Cover me with thy wings, and take my weariness away.

I will be better tomorrow than I was yesterday.

I will be better tomorrow than I was today”

My work is done, and night is falling.

No more worries, no more cares.

Poem by Sasha Donald (Granddaughter) Read by Taavi Stier (Grandson)

Emme kept a garden.

A garden of the heart,

She planted all the good things,

In my life right from the start.

She turned me to the sunshine,

And encouraged me to dream:

Watering and nurturing

The seeds of self-esteem.

And when the snow and wind came,

She protected me enough;

But as I grew she showed me how

To stand up strong and tough.

Her constant good example,

Always taught me right from wrong;

She pulled weeds from my pathway

For a future bright and strong.

My soul hums like the bumble bee

The rain is on my skin

A flower blossoms when I smile

And an oak tree grows within.

Although I cannot hear her voice

Her hand I cannot touch

I tell her that I’m thankful

For helping me so much.

I am part of Emme’s garden,

I am her legacy.

And I hope today she feels the love,

Reflected back from me.

Poem Read by Alar Poldmaa from relatives in Estonia

Need armsad, kellest akki jaime ilma,

on tegelikult alles - meie sees.

Nad on me ligi, ei torka silma

nii nagu valgus tolmukubemes

On elu luhike, on ainult viiv.

Kesk maiseid askeldusi touseb iil

ja luba kusimata askeldaja viib.

Sudamlik kaastunne teile ja teie peredele kalli emme kaostuse puhel. Oleme motetes teiga. Taimi, Ene ja Enn peredega

POLDMAA, Ebba (Marits) - On October 28, 2011 we said goodbye to our beautiful Mother, Grandmother and Great Grandmother Ebba Poldmaa (Marits). Daughter of late Constable Rein Marits and Ella Kangro, Ebba passed away quietly surrounded by loved ones at Sault Area Hospital. Ebba was older sister to the late Dore Manni (Kaljo), Tiina, Ene and Peeter (Thunder Bay), and late sister Maia Blomquiest (late Borka) (Maire-Ly and Kaupo). Ebba is survived by her loving husband Elmar Poldmaa and children Enn (Robin), Helle Stier (Ron), Taimi, Kaja (Sean Creagh), Alar (Pam), Tarmo (Christine). Known as “Emme” she will also be missed by her grandchildren Tyler (Cheryl), Ashley (Brad), Lauren (Kurt), Taavi, Sasha (Andy), Maia, Kenzie, Ryan, Deven, Kara Li, Heidi, Eerik, Marin, Halaina, Camaryne and great grandchildren Hazel and Miles. Ebba was the matriarch of a family who adored and honoured her courage, strength, and sense of humour. Ebba was born April 2nd, 1925 in Tsooru, Estonia. She met and married her proud husband Elmar in 1951 in London, England and then immigrated to Canada in 1955, resided in Larder Lake and Sault Ste. Marie. Ebba and Elmar raised their family here, but have never stopped teaching everyone about their strong Estonian heritage. Ebba’s children, grandchildren and great grandchildren were blessed with the many stories that she told. These stories taught the family about life, the power of hope and to be proud of who you are. She loved to do needle work, garden, watch hockey and take care of everyone. She was never seen without her kitchen apron on. No one will forget her delicious holiday cookies, her sauerkraut or her traditional pastries called pirukat. The bright legacy she has passed on is truly a gift that will never leave the people who love her. She was a 25 year member and secretary of the S.S. Marie Estonian Assoc., along with choir member and costume designer/maker for the Sault Opera Society. Thank you to Dr. Graham, nurses Paula, Mandy, Chantal and staff in B Wing, Penny Leishman and Dolly Vincentini for their compassion and care. Special thanks to Pastor Jouko Jyrkama. Our family is deeply saddened to have lost such a treasured loved one. We live on knowing that she watches over us and guides us through memories and words spoken to us as she picked a flower from her beautiful garden or sipped a cup of tea. “Emme” we love you. Be at peace and plant a new garden in heaven for us. As our family gathers together we invite friends to join us in celebrating Ebba’s life on Thursday, November 3, 2011 at Arthur Funeral Home & Cremation Centre. Visitation from 1:00-3:00, service to follow at 3:00pm. Rev. Jouko Jyrkama officiating. Family and friends are asked to give donations to the Estonian Lutheran Church and SAH Foundation in honour of Ebba.