Ann Marie Furnari

Ann Marie (Feeney) Furnari, age 85, of Hartsdale, New York passed away on Wednesday, October 18, 2023. Born on May 18, 1938 to Shan and Jack Feeney, she was the youngest of three children with two older brothers, Robert and Donald.

If Ann Marie were here, she might write a poem in honor of her passing. It would be funny and sweet and it would rhyme (mostly). But today we will have to write our own poems.

Ann Marie was a woman of many facets – daughter, wife, mother, friend, sister, aunt, confidant, genuine aesthete, lover of books and PBS, storyteller, avid consumer of the New York Times, and “Nana to all” – who loved art, beauty, people, and the human experience in all its complexity. She truly embraced life. She greeted every day with curiosity, relish, and, frequently, a snappy one-liner.

Born in Wappingers Falls, New York, Ann Marie always said that she was raised by her mother, her father, and her mother’s three single women friends – the Reilly sisters – and was taught by the Sisters of Charity. By her own telling, these factors contributed to her desire for perfection. To which, of course, God said “not so fast”. Ann Marie always believed that God has a plan for each of us. She also came to learn that, as she wrote years ago, “Maybe God gives us just what we need, though we would never ask for some of the surprises in life.”

When she first began dating Peter Furnari in high school, he had a definite life plan. Which fascinated her since she couldn’t decide what she wanted to do. He decided in high school that he wanted to be a dentist and that he and Ann Marie would get married when he graduated from college. Ann Marie was much less sure that this would happen than Pete was, but it seemed more secure and promising than her non-plan (as she would say).

They did marry, after Pete graduated from Notre Dame, and moved to Jackson Heights. Pete began dental school and Ann Marie worked at the Time Life Building. Their little family began to grow with the birth of David, then Chris. After two years at Fort Sam Houston in Texas, they moved back to NY so Pete could start his dental practice, and John was on the way. Friendships made at Our Lady of Perpetual Help parish and The Christian Family Movement blossomed – with faith as the golden thread that has kept those friendships to this day. And finally, Karen arrived, the long-sought daughter, to great rejoicing and excitement among family and friends.

That joy came to a screeching halt a week later when Ann Marie was diagnosed with a collapsed lung and pneumonia. Which ultimately led to the removal of her left lung. But after that experience and the surgery, she felt a real connection with God and was so grateful for the gift of health. A new chapter began.

Raising four children was a blur – an all-consuming time for her as a parent. They were busy and happy in their Ardsley house, with Ann Marie at the center.

The kids went off to college, daughters-in-law were welcomed, grandchildren arrived to enrich her life. Ann Marie and Pete traveled the world from South Africa to Australia, Sicily to the Galapagos, and the highlight of a lifetime trip to Medjugorje in 2000 for the jubilee celebration. One picturesque moment stuck with her over the years: she would tell the story of traveling by train across Austria, her breath taken away by the beauty of the fields of sunflowers raising their faces in unison to the sun as if painted there by Van Gogh.

The subsequent tumultuous years with Karen eventually led to the most surprising gift of all – two young granddaughters to raise. Shan and Tess were the center of her life from the moment they arrived. With a move to Hartsdale, Nana and Papa and the two girls were embraced by the Edgemont community – bolstered by families and new friends that stepped up to help them raise Shan and Tess.

For many years Ann Marie was a volunteer at her treasured Metropolitan Museum of Art and she adored her Scarsdale Women’s Club pals. She continued to enjoy traveling, including special trips to Longboat Key with her girlfriends, a memorable family trip to the Tyler Place, and many lovely summer days spent at her beloved Hilton Head.

One of Ann Marie’s favorite quotes was “I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.” And trust her, He did. As Shan and Tess grew, it became Ann Marie’s ultimate goal to see them through college. With both girls graduating from Muhlenberg and now speeding into adulthood, she did just that and so much more. She leaves behind throngs of people who loved her dearly and have cherished memories of her and a life well-lived.

Ann Marie embraced the idea that death might not be as big a change as we suppose. Rather, it might be like crossing a river. She liked to think of her relatives and friends waiting for her on the other side – imagining grassy banks and flower-filled pastures shining in the sun.

Or maybe, just for her, pastures filled with sunflowers tilted toward her, welcoming her home.

Ann Marie is survived by her loving husband Peter; her four children, David (Sue), Chris (Cherrie), John (Elvira), and Karen; and her grandchildren Jim, Emily (Peter), Michelle (Will), Shan, Tess, Emma, and Aiden.

Poems of Wit and Wisdom by Ann Marie Furnari

Poem 1 – “Kindergarten” Published in the Seely Place 2012 Year Book on the occasion of both her granddaughters graduating Seely Place Elementary School

Kindergarten is a place to grow

A time to learn and a time to know

What is good and what should be

And make a new and special family

We learned so much this year

Teddy Bear Math, how corn and pumpkins grow

Calendars, letters, and phone numbers too

All these good things are helpful and true

We went on trips, there were ten in all

To places large and places small

And with each one we learned a lot

And got to visit a special spot

So most of all we want to say

With a great big hug and a loud HURRAY!!!!

Thank you Seely for a special start

You will always have a place in our heart.

Poem 2 - Written for her son, David, on the occasion of his recent medical procedures occurring around his 60+ birthday.

My son, you’re getting older,

A fact you must agree,

Will make your Tom Sawyer image

A thing of history.

Your knee will give a little twinge,

Your neck gets mighty stiff.

And now your poor old coccyx

Is bruised and you’re berift

So calm yourself and take a rest

Put on your robe and slippers

Enjoy this birthday, it’s the best

The rest are downward dippers.

Poem 3 - Written for her great friend, Geri Block, on her 60th birthday.

We thought about a lot of things that we could give you dear,

To celebrate the fact that you have reached your 60th year.

A spa we thought it’s just the place to make your day complete.

They’ll do your nails, massage your bod, and even do your feet.

But the thing that really told us this was the perfect hunch,

Is that your marvelous spa morning will end in a special lunch.

Poem 4 - Written after the trying Christmas of 2013, the year Ann Marie gracefully got Peter settled in the memory unit at The Fountains, and then dutifully hosted her “Europeans” (son John, Elvira, Emma and Aiden) for the holiday.

I’m happy tonight to be back in my room

The sheets are so white by the light of the moon.

The Europeans have left. Every bag has been packed

And abox has been left; too much in the sack.

Christmas is not Christmas although I am trying

Christmas is lots of coupons and buying

So my 75th Christmas is over I made it this year,

But the scene must be different in my 76th year.

Poem 5 - Written for Cynthia Heinbaugh, Dad’s Dental Office Mgr.) upon Cynthia’s retirement and move to sunny Hilton Head Island, S.C.)

Cyn, you’re off to Hilton head,

It seems the time has come,

To start a new adventure,

With Dan, your special chum.

So here are a few presents

We hope they’ll make you smile

They don’t really fit New York

But are meant for your new lifestyle

You enjoy the sun

Enjoy the sand

Listen to the waves

And think kindly of poor New Yorkers, spending Winter in their caves!

Poem 6 - Written for her older brother Donald Feeney on his 80th birthday

Brother dear, you’re getting older,

Reaching 80 is quite a feat.

Your humor has never wavered,

And you’re pretty fast on your feet.

You have a pleasant lifestyle,

And travel with the sun.

It seems like in handling Life’s Journey

You have surely won.

So enjoy the cruise with family,

Savor each happy time.

I’d like to follow suit one day

When the 80th birthday is mine.

Poem 7 - Written for Tess on the occasion of her departure for college at Muhlenberg.

You and your sister were a gift

That cannot be denied

These last three years, you were my companion,

And always at my side.

We had our fights

And yelled a lot

That way we cleared the air.

But I will miss your pretty face when off you go this year.

Poem 8: - Written for her husband Peter for Christmas 1984 in their residence at 20 Captain Honey Wells Rd., Ardsley, NY.

Monet had a garden,

Most special to us all.

And because of his great painting

We can enjoy it in Winter and Fall

Another garden, though not French,

Is definitely an Italian creation

It comes to life every Spring

At our Captain Honeywells location

The master gardener tills the soil

And awakens daffs and roses.

They wouldn’t dare not come to life,

And do as he proposes.

So you and Claude have much in common

In your special love of flowers.

And your garden, too, has been painted

To brighten Winter’s dark hours.

Merry Christmas!

Love,

Ann Marie

Poem 9 - Written April 1987 on the occasion of a family trip to Florida, where Dr. Peter and Dr. David Furnari attended their first “Panky Institute” courses.

I’ve known my husband’s Cross

Has been out of balance for many years,

So I looked forward to the Panky Institute

But now I am reduced to tears.

He wakes before seven each morning

To work in a morning run

Then on to the Panky Institute

To attend classes with David our son.

They’re off and running early,

Sue, Jim and I are left in the gap.

You begin to feel guilty

If you should work in a nap

The Pankey Philosophy is tempting

It sounds oh so solid and fine.

To balance Worship / Love / Work / Play

Wouldn’t it make the most wonderful day?

But here we are left with humans,

So frail and yet so determined

To set their goals — to compete in life

Yet make our world so full of strife.

So let L.D. Pankey’s Philosophy

Live on, and rule us from above.

But put an extra emphasis

On Worship, Play and Love

Poem 10 - Written in the early 90’s as granddaughter Emily has learned how to crawl

Emily’s gotten bigger now

Her world is not so small

And wonderful treasures are in her view,

Now that she has learned to crawl.

Although her world is limited

To six inches from the ground.

It truly is amazing,

The treasures she has found.

Lint and shoes and table legs

Are found by our explorer.

Why shouldn’t we stop and smile,

And frankly just adore her.

Poem 11 - Written March 2023 on the occasion of the wedding of granddaughter Michelle to Will on Hilton Head Island, S.C.

Once you have slept on the island, you’ll never be quite the same

You will sometimes hear sails clink and the ocean calling your name

Our Michelle slept on this island and dreamed dreams of childhood, of kings and queens

Even Greg Russell and the old oak tree visited these dreams.

Now she has returned to her island with Will, her lover and friend

To make lifetime vows to share their love in the company of family and friends

Our prayer is that the years ahead will see their children, our grandchildren, play on the beautiful beach and learn the many lessons that only nature can teach

And when vacation is over and they leave Hilton Head with their family

We hope they’ll feel a little regret but look forward to the fun and joy of next year’s visit.

Nana’s Eulogy, spoken by granddaughter Shan Jameson at Ann Marie’s funeral mass at Church of the Sacred Heart in Hartsdale, NY on October 23, 2023.

Hi everyone, I’m Shan, the granddaughter of the remarkable Ann Marie Furnari, lovingly known as Nana to many. On behalf of my family, I want to express our deep gratitude for your presence here today as we come together to celebrate Nana’s life. The outpouring of support and love we've received in these past few days has been truly heartwarming, and our home is overflowing with so many flowers that we could probably start our own floral shop.

Nana’s journey through life was filled with love, loss, lots of wine, and a profound sense of warmth that touched the hearts of everyone who had the privilege of knowing her.

She wasn't just a pillar of strength and stability for my sister and me but also for many others, particularly her children and her nieces, Susie and Kate. Nana possessed a unique gift of making everyone feel safe, cherished, and valued. She was the ultimate hostess, and she loved welcoming people into her home, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere where a party was never far away.

As many of you know, Nana has three sons: David, Christopher, and John. She had always wished for a daughter but struck out the first three times before my mother, Karen, arrived. It seemed like her prayers had been answered, but God had something different in store, and, almost 30 years after my mom's birth, my Nana and Papa were gifted two more daughters—my sister, Tess, and me.

Nana's values and life lessons have been passed down to my sister and me, and everyone who had the chance to know her. I've found that I've especially embraced her wisdom and characteristics. In fact, many of my friends lovingly call me "Nana" because they see me more as a grandmotherly figure rather than a youthful mother. So, if there's one thing I've learned from Nana, it's that I've become quite the skilled, headstrong, confident, grandmother at the tender age of 26. I’m sure my uncles could agree.

Nana's legacy lives on not only in her children and grandchildren but in all the lives she touched with her warmth, kindness, and love. Though she may no longer be with us in person, her spirit and the memories we hold close to our hearts will forever be a source of comfort and inspiration. Ann Marie Furnari, you will be profoundly missed, but your legacy of love and warmth will continue to shine brightly in our hearts. We should all try to do a small act of kindness in remembrance of Nana in our daily lives. Thank you for blessing our lives with your presence, giving Tess and I a second chance of life, and bringing us all together here today.

May you rest in peace, and I will truly miss your daily soundtrack of your enthusiastic calls and your companionship. We love you and we hope you are enjoying your reunion with your Mother, Shan and Father, Jack, the Reilly sisters, your two brothers, Bob and Don, as well as your beloved friends, the Tuddles, Ruth, Marilyn and all the other souls that passed you had met in your lifetime.

God Bless You on this new chapter you embark on.

“The Celebration of Ann Marie Furnari’s Life” spoken by granddaughter Tess Jameson at the luncheon celebration at Sam's of Gedney Way in White Plains on October 23, 2023.

“The Celebration of Ann Marie Furnari’s Life” May 18th 1938 – October 18th 2023

To some Ann Marie is merely just a name but to others she will always be so much more.

To John, Elvira, Chris, Cherrie, David & Sue she will always be Mom

To Frances she will always be Nana/Mom

To my cousins Jim, Emily, Michelle, Colleen, Megan, Shannon, Emma and Aiden she will always be Nana/Grandma

To Kate and Susie… She will always be Aunt Ann Marie

To my boyfriend Mike… She will always be Big Dog

To the dog she said she would never get… Her and Spade will always be best friends

To her co-workers at The MET… She was the dolled-up lady who always came to help every Monday and Thursday.

To her girlfriends… She was the woman who always had a bottle of Chardonnay ready whenever needed.

To The Women's Club… She adored everything about your magical place. Thank you for giving her a purpose outside her family

To Piadad… She will always be Mrs. Ann Marie

To my Papa… She is and will always be the love of his life.

To me… She will always be my Role Model, Best Friend, Hero, Nana, and Mom.

How Lucky Am I? My life truly would not be the same if she was just a Grandma I saw every Christmas. So Thank you Nana and Papa for fighting so hard to raise Shan and I.

Always making sure you were at every soccer, softball, and lacrosse game. Sitting in the front row seat at every graduation with and without oxygen.

I love you forever Nana and I promise to keep making you and Papa proud of me each and every day.

Most importantly… She was and will always be Nana to all. Thank you for celebrating my best friend's life.

P.S: All you youngins give your Grandparents and Parents a call and tell them you love them.