I learned so much at the memorial about everyone and about how Tom was so important in all of our lives....how he crafted such deep and lasting relationships that brought out the best in each of us. I enjoyed learning too how each of us were touched by Tom that were similar ....marking that knowing Tom that this truly awesome family emerged together and that as new members came in it was such a welcoming by all of us. I know that I will think of Tom and all these wonderful people part of this family each day and that on January 12 and the 21st of each of the coming years I will stop for a moment of meditation to dwell on all he gave me....that I will remember him, allow the images and voices of the times with him to run through me. I hope the many of you will join in doing so too wherever you might be those two dates. 

Tom,
You were more important to each of us than you probably ever knew, or even more than we probably ever expressed. My dad loved you like a brother and treated you like one too. He would tell me that he could be frank with and critical of you because your friendship was so strong and that such a friendship is hard to come by in life. And now, as I reflect on the past twenty years of my life and how I watched my dad and you laugh and talk and bicker and travel together, I realize that the whole "Tom and Jerry" comparison that you two often made was actually quite accurate. Yes, my dad is a witty Jerry-esque character who kind of toyed around with you and no, I am not saying that you were foolish and malicious like Tom the cat. I guess what I am trying to say is that you really cannot have one without the other. Neither Tom nor Jerry would have done very well if they pulled a John Lennon or Paul McCartney. You were my dad's best friend, but so much more than that. You were so much more than a godfather to Jess and me as well. You were family. 
I am writing this tribute on behalf of my entire family: Jess, my dad Paul, my mom Haeran, but mostly in lieu of my dad. He asked me to write something because he is still in shock and is struggling to deal with the loss of his friend, his brother. I, myself, am struggling to write this as losing you has left us all at a loss for words, after you had been such a stable constant in our lives for so long. Our family and the world has lost a special soul but I know you are looking over us as a guiding light just like you always have. 
My brother is reading this at the funeral, but I suppose I'll post this here anyway: 
An Elegy for Tom

When dad called to tell me
that you had passed away,
I was at Pont du Gard.

It was a crisp winter in Provence, the mistral wind roared,
yet the skies were clear and the sun shone brightly;
the passage of its rays through each arch
blinding me.

Walking back down, I saw the text:
"Tom is no longer with us.
Take care. I love you."
I read and reread five times over
Just to make sure.

And I was silent; I could only hear
My breath, only conscious of
The evidence that I 
was still alive and not yet
Able to fully grasp that you
No longer were.

I ran to the bathroom. I wanted to cry,
But could only manage a pathetic whimper.
I was unsure of whether my tears 
Were because of the blistering wind
Or my own emotions.

I wanted to be sadder, but sentimental expression
Did not translate.
I had never felt more silenced
In both French and English.

And then I was asked what was wrong. 
I could not stop crying.

I am twenty-years old.
Death has never felt so close, so personal.
The last time we spoke in-person
Was just before I left for Paris.

You didn't come with us to the airport.
And I took weeks to reply to your emails months later,
But you sent more anyway--
Attaching article links and witty jokes,
Always trying to keep up with me.
I miss our

conversations. You were one of the few
With whom I would agree
to disagree.

I once joked with you, "a godfather
is supposed to be there for spiritual guidance,
so where is my spiritual guidance?"
Religion wasn't ever really your thing.

And yet I turn to spirituality to somehow cope.

Dad cited Buddhism when he told me not to cry
so that your soul
could pass
over
peacefully.

I found myself in a church in Arles.
We were passing through after visiting
the amphitheatre and the ruins of the ancient baths--
relics of Rome,
which, like all great things,
fell.

I sat in the pews, and closed my eyes and thought of you.
I cried again.
I've never really cared for religion either.

Jess told me:
Religion is more for the living
Than for the dead.

Water once rushed down the Pont du Gard,
it nourished and cleansed the city of Nîmes.
Its stacked arcades supported families for centuries,
and it stands today, an unused aqueduct, as a reminder
of Rome's greatness.

I suppose, I'll think of you from now on when I think of
Pont du Gard--

and the Château des Baux de Provence as well.
Once the group bus arrived at the medieval fortress,
I sought alone time.

I combatted the mistral as I ascended the uneven stone steps.
I climbed up the rubble, like I once climbed you,
as a child--Colossus conquered by a munchkin.

I reached the top
of the castle's ruins,
and there

Looking out from the highest point
at the Provençale village below,
braving the wind and holding onto the
safety rails,

I screamed as loudly as I could.
Twice.

My body was numb, my throat ached from the air density, and my bare ears stung...
But I felt something. I hadn't screamed like that for a long time. 

Thank you, Tom,
For the laughs and the conversations
Both light-hearted and intellectual, not necessarily mutually exclusive.

Thank you
For the support and enthusiasm for
Everything in my life.

Thank you for the genuine interest in me
As a person.

Thank you for the countless jack-o-lanterns,
The hugs, the dim sums, the times when I would
Hold your hands
And backflip.

Thank you for the adventures,
Thank you for the unconditional love.

Thank you, Tom.



Tom with his brother Jim, his Dad & Mom and snowman

Tom
Thanks so much for 50+ years of laughs, commiseration  and shared wisdom (at least we always thought it was wisdom).
Aloha oe a hui hou, my dear friend

Gary Darling

Concerning the Homes of Tom I put up (and due to some problems I am having using this site - I wanted to have my tribute under this photo collage - but it didn't do that)....I just want to tell you Tom that in all these places how much I enjoyed working with you on them - hauling stuff away, fixing things, and moving you in our out of them. I thought it really special of you to give a number of us a path we needed, that I needed...because you taught me though what you needed to have done and you allowed a pace that was good. You never hounded, but rather helped me to see your point of view and to engage in your needs. You added always a flair for the modern, bought quality materials at such low prices - I don't know how you did it....such wonderfully made things that all fit as if you just knew. And I so enjoyed the time with you and others in each of them. I had thought you building the entire grey house and remodeling others was sort of nuts and impossible in some parts of it, but you managed always to bring about what you envisioned and a sense of 'let's do this' and amazingly the work always turned into a wow wow wow. And more so Tom....in each is your spirit that will be life long for me so that when I drive by I will be able to feel your presence and have that flash of images of time spent there light up for me to view. And I want to thank you for doing that for me. There are so many memory markers in each them for me to feel you in them as if you have never left because in a way you haven't. I miss you Tom more than you may realize. And I hope that when it is my time....that we will sit in a home there on the other side and start were we left off on the other. So get building one because I will be coming to visit you. 

I am listening today late eve to The Paul Winter Consort "Icarus" on youtube. And my thought now is that not a day will go by that I don't think of you, say things to you, talk to you the way we did all these years. I know that when emotion surges in me till I feel a cry I will know you are close by....so Tom keep doing that to let me know you are by me. 

In these last few days after you passing I have wanted to call you and perhaps have a bite to eat and catch up at one of our usual places: Leena's in North City, a pho place up north on Aurora, Jay's in Kenmore, The Family Pancake House on Aurora, Denny's on Aurora, McDonald's in Edmonds across from the Goodwill or over on Ballinger just before I-5, Roy's in Edmonds......or just to come over to your house on Echo Lake and have whatever you have there. Sometimes I pick up my phone, I go to your name in my address book, and then I act like I am leaving you a voicemail or talk to you as if you are on the other side of phone like normal as if you are on that other side. It feels good to do this. I started to gather notes, what I remember and to start a document about you, our friendship and our lives throughout the years. I made a recording of your phone greeting so I can hear your voice whenever I need to. I gathered pictures of all the places you have lived, the timelines when you bought and lived in them, and notes some of spending time in them with you. I nailed down the last time we did eat together - at Shari's on Jan 5, 2017. I nailed down exactly when I met you in May of 1990. I drew up a floor plan of your Echo Lake house and what was in it so I have it to refer to later and to remember. I've driven by places you and I spend time in....your homes, places in Capitol Hill, University Avenue - U-distric, Fremont, Interurban, Greenlake area, and a few others. I called and mostly wrote bunches of people who knew you so they know what has happened and when the memorial will be. I gathered every thing I have here at home about you. I have you best picture on my desk. I nailed down the last two times I talked to you - Jan 7th and 9th. And I have cried about you more times than ever. You were the fairest, happiest, most positive, interested in others, the cool in 'cool' person I have ever known. You have had a smile, presence and eyes with sparkles in them the entire time I have known you. You helped me through hardships, taught me a lot, I worked with you on properties, we spent time walking and sitting to look out over the Sound or throughout a park, you helped me mover from one place to the next, you gave me hope. Heck you even this last year started buying me long sleeve shirts because you wanted me look stylish like you. And they fit. You know Tom when the Grim Reaper blocks my view and tells me he's 'deaaaathhhhh", I 'm going to use one of you lines and tell him "I haven't got time for that!" 

Tom was my cousin and we grew up two houses apart in Dearborn, MI. I am so sorry to hear of his passing. I enjoyed hanging out with  him as a kid and on my visits to Seattle. He was a talented, thoughtful and creative guy with a dry sense of humor. He told me that his interest in mid-century modern homes had been kindled by the Christmas parties that my dad (who worked at Ford styling) took us to as kids. The party would be going on and Tom and I would sneak off to roam the halls and.offices to check out the futuristic paintings of cars and houses. Tom, you went too soon and will be missed. Godspeed, cuz.

My first memories of Tom are shortly after 9/11. The world had changed and we walked along the stream at Hidden Lake. I wanted to show Tom the wonderful modernist houses that I had found along the ravine. Flat roofs, walls of glass, Tom shared my enthusiasm as we had discovered a modernist enclave. In August 2003, my wife and son and I were about to embark on a trip to the Yukon. Tom called and said we had to go see a house for sale. We ended up buying it with Tom's help. Over the years, Tom and I enjoyed lunches, looking at modernist houses and parties. We discussed architecture and I helped him to advise clients on what should remain and what needed restoration. We called ourselves, "Architectologists". We would try to unravel the origins of a home to find its original fabric. Tom was there for two other home purchases, and continued interest in architecture. He was a kind soul. We will all be poorer for his passing.

Erich Volkstorf

When I close my eyes from this place Tom and I open them on the other side ....I need you to be the one I see first so please be there. Please touch me and appear around me until that time comes. Guide me with that spirit you have always had here....that presence, that positive outlook on life, that you and I never, as it was here, run out of things to talk about and to share. You are the only person I really got along with so fluidly who understood me and share with me of who I am. You are my last and very best friend Tom. Everything about Seattle and the region here is connected to you in one way or another and through all we shared all these years that from here on out I know you are in all these places wherever I go and wherever I am if even it is not here in the Seattle region. You are and shall always be my friend. 

I wanted to grow into our elder years Tom. There is a quality there that I wanted to live out with you. I am thankful tho that you and I spent 28 years growing up together into the beginning of our senior years. John Koudela III

 Seattle has lost a wonderful soul, who shared his passion for architecture with the world. 

 I learned a great deal about design, and our local treasures from "Modern Tom's" website.  Will miss him. 

OBITUARY

Thomas Keith Holst

10 April, 1951 – 12 January, 2017

Evergreen Washelli Funeral Home & Cemetery

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