Vivian E. Tanner

Vivian E. Tanner passed away on Friday, April 16, 2021. Vivian was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio and lived to be 93. She was the daughter of Helen and Otto and was the eldest of their three children, a sister, Eleanor, two years younger and a brother, Donnie, 7 years younger. They lived in the same house until she married at age 19, almost 20. She always had a mind of her own even in her youth. The neighbor kids would knock on the door when she was around 4 or 5 and want her to come out and tell them what kind of games to play. I kind of like to believe it was from that point onward she got the idea...'hmm...people like it when I call the shots'...and so it continued, for the rest of her life...my Mom calling the shots! Her first job was in the bakery during the Summer vacations from school. Then she went onto being a switchboard operator for Ohio Bell in downtown Toledo, to and from work by bus.

She had a few boyfriends in high school, but no one ever swept her off her feet like my Dad did...a Marine...Christmas Eve, Midnight Mass, sitting in the back of Church where she entered all 'decked-out' which was of her favorite sayings...He was offering to sell her a seat for $5.00 of which she just smiled and acted cool and demure. He offered her no ride home on that cold snowy night but was waiting outside the telephone company where she worked the next day. The other girls nudged her when they noticed him but she acted all cool like she didn't see him...he then tooted his horn and the game was over...they quickly fell in love and married in November the following year. It was precisely 9 months to the day of that wedding night that my brother Jimmy was born into their lives. She would end up following my Dad for his out of town job assignments and they even bought an Airstream Travel trailer so they would have a place of their own during those times. I was born 5 years after my brother, so the need to get more settled was becoming more pronounced. A nice three bedroom home in a friendly neighborhood was just the ticket to build those memories of the 50's. Her sister and brother were also raising families by then and they had their own homes too. Many a birthday party were held in Mom's basement or Aunt Eleanor's while my Grandpa provided his talented melodies on his accordion. In 1962, my Father grew weary of his Asbestos labors, that required him to work under severe cold conditions. He decided it was time to move to Florida where the cold temperatures would be less severe for his bones; and so Dad fulfilled his dreams and Mom went right along with him and left her house she so dearly loved, and her sister and brother and all her memories of Toledo as she set out for a new life in the Sunshine state. We settled in Seminole in 1963. Mom found herself the ace of many trades. She still has a family to finish raising, she now lived in a mobile home, with 35 lots to oversee, 2 apartments, 4 cottages and a pool, all requiring every ounce of her energy, time and devotion. My Dad would work full time with his Asbestos jobs and she would labor throughout the day in the mobile home park and all of it's endless demands...renting cottages, cleaning cottages, mowing grass, vacuuming a pool, trimming, edging, sweeping, laying sod, dealing with renters various dispositions, the heat, her laundry that she'd hang on a clothesline, cooking a warm meal every night for dinner, getting up with my Dad at 4am to make sure he had a warm breakfast before he left for work, his lunch was intricately prepped and ready in his brown bag...she'd even remove the white stringy strands from his oranges and section them in a baggie so they would be as easy as candy for him to eat! Last but not least in that scenario, there was always a folded towel, along with a pair of clean white socks and white t-shirt placed on top for him to change into after his shower...of this she would term 'his-layette'. She would work as hard as she could all week long including the mowing of a 2 to 3 hour job so that he could relax on his weekends and not have to work! She saw how hard he labored in the hot Sun in Cape Canaveral and vowed silently within to do all possible to keep him out of the heat. This is how intensely she loved my Dad. He was her world, her strength, her life and they were together for 64 years. They shared in the delight of becoming Grandparents to 5 grandchildren over the years, who in turn had children of their own adding 7 great grandchildren, 1 great great grandchild and to add to the list a blessing of an 8th great grandchild on the way. Her heart continued to yearn for my Dad long after the embers lost their glow. She loved with such passion and devotion. Her birthdate is represented by the King of Hearts in the deck of cards and so it was that in her passing, her heart would be the last to go...

A loving Tribute to Mom...

Living life to the fullest, her spontaneity of character, unwavering style of uniqueness and talent for speaking her mind like no other I have ever known in this life is my Mother whom I affectionately refer to as ‘Ma…and I have no idea how many times a day I repeated the mantra of “Oh Ma…” She was an endless tirade of verbalized thoughts, concerns, worries and must-do’s…and when added to my already to-do-list in my own head, could prove to be quite overwhelming at times; as her concerns were repeated until that particular to-do item had been completed. I quickly learned to do things as soon as possible when it was mentioned or the list would grow too long for me to bear! It wasn’t long before I realized that her thought processes were in rapid sequence to my own.

No matter what thought was going through my head or hers, we were so synchronized, she’d even emerge from her room wearing the same color choice. Life was never dull under our roof. Our style of bantering was speaking our own mind, without any punches, going on and on back and forth, mutually objecting with one another or in some cases in agreement upon issues we felt the same way about; but no matter how long we took to try to reach an objective we always had to laugh at the situation. Life just felt like a continual comedy movie living with Ma. Most of my efforts to explain myself were too lengthy for her to listen to so she’d either tell me ‘please no sermons today’ or ‘you’re putting me to sleep’…my determination to explain were quickly dissolved into a spell of laughter once again…as she had ‘won’ once again! We lived together these past 10 years and I grew to know and understand her from all the various episodes and events she shared about every stage of her life. The tragic, the sad and the happy moments, and it gave me a deeper insight into her invincibility of strength and wisdom. I witnessed her emotional pain as she anguished over the deaths of her beloved Son, and my Dad two years later. There was the first grade teacher that not only failed her, but prevented her from participating in her First Holy Communion with the rest of her classmates; and then having to repeat that grade with that very same teacher the following year! Failing typing class in high school because her teacher didn’t like her, but her Summer school teacher passed her with flying colors and said that her speed was superb! These two instances fortified her as well as her Father’s urgings to ‘don’t take any crap from anybody’ and to ‘stand up for yourself’…and she reverently honored his guidelines by living up to those words. She was the strongest woman I have ever known and also the most sensitive. She was blessed far more reverently than any obstacle that sprang forth in her youth. She met the man of her dreams, my Dad, in Church at Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. He was home for Christmas from the Marines, and from that point forward, it was a whirlwind of a romance remaining that way for 64 years until his passing in 2011.

Our 10 years together consisted of many trials and tribulations, Alaskan 21 day tour, cruising the Caribbean, driving to and from Ohio, shopping beyond a normal human beings capacity to keep up with the woman, the births of great grandchildren, social events upon social events, parties, medical appointments, business appointments, home maintenance decisions, 5 different lawn companies, family dramas ranging from ecstatic to heartbreaking disbelief…harboring 14 family members and 2 pets during a major hurricane, termite tenting of the house, the holidays we made special even if we were alone and the many TCM and Hallmark Movies that filled our hearts, if it had to do with romance…we were there! She adored Clark Gable and Tyrone Power because they reminded her of my Dad. She’d gladly watch any western, especially if it had John Wayne in it; and she had a crush on Errol Flynn of which my beloved former brother-in-law reminded her of and she loved any movie with Kirk Douglas as well. Any movie to do about the Lord’s last days or his torments, she would put herself through those every time they came on, along with a box of tissues. Yes, those 10 years were roller coaster years with my Mom. She always wanted to be on the go, and she loved her grandchildren and great grandchildren and thought about them all the time. Her hearts greatest desire was to be the best Grandmother she could be partly because she never had one when she was growing up so she wanted none of them to ever feel that heart wrenching emptiness that eats at your soul. She was always eager to go to the only restaurants in town and there were two of them in her opinion, The Frog Pond and E&E Stakeout Grill. She loved their food and she loved the servers that served her the food, if she could laugh and joke with them was the icing on the cake…and they in return loved her. She met many lovely people at the Frog Pond of which she was an avid patron for over 30 years; many became lifelong friends and connections to which she passionately valued throughout her times there. She was the Matriarch of our Family and the instigator behind every reason under the sun to go out to eat and celebrate. She could make the best pie crust I’ve ever had in my life, bake cookies in huge mass numbers, make lasagna that would melt in your mouth, bar-b-que beef sandwiches from scratch shredded to perfection and seasoned just right, German potato salad done in the pressure cooker, minced ham--grinding it into sumptuous particles of flavorful bliss. A simple meatloaf also would take on a life of it’s own, it seemed to just melt in your mouth without even the need to chew. Needless to say, she enjoyed her time in the kitchen, as she’d plan in her mind how many cookies she needed to make so all her loved ones would get the same amount to take home. She was a very unique Mother and all my friends thoroughly enjoyed being around her and loved to hear her comments, of which I was the obligingly her victim to a degree. So now here we are now and our paths are in different realms. I have no doubt that she is and will be forever with me and that she will find ways to let me know when she is around, which is exactly what I told her for many years. We are alike in many ways, just as much as we are different in many ways. The lessons we experienced together, as well as her lessons in life have prepared me to continue on in her place, holding the family torch with love and humor. Remembering those that have passed, honoring the achievements of their legacies and creating a template for future generations to follow; that love and respect for one another is what holds the key to the future we all hope to see.

God Bless You Mom…I love you and I thank-you for being in my life for the last six decades plus! How lucky was I to have my Mom in my life for that many years…but there is no doubt you are with my Dad now, and forever may you two souls remain lovingly intertwined of heart, mind and spirit for eternity and beyond…! You will live in my heart forever Mom. All my love, Robenette.

Arrangements were made under the direction of Garden Sanctuary Funeral Home 7950 131st Street N., Seminole, Florida 33776 / 727-391-0121