Michael Peter Szalaj

October 2, 1953 - May 13, 2016

Early life

Michael Peter Szalaj was born in Nebourg, a small town in Normandie France on October 2nd, 1953 to Ukrainian parents, Alexander Szalaj and Maria Saluk. His parents met and emigrated to France as part of the Allied relocation of Displaced Peoples after World War II in 1949 and worked migrant farm workers.

Through an Emigrant sponsorship program, the family moved to NYC in December, 1955. The family settled in the East Bronx . Michael attended a parochial Catholic primary school and St. Thomas Aquinas High School. City life became part of his personality. Like so many families at that time parents worked day and night shifts to make ends meet and they felt fortunate to have that chance. NY also had a strong Ukrainian community and spirituality. Michael loved nature. His father would take Michael and his sister Natalia to the Bronx zoo and a neighboring playground almost everyday after school and work.

As a child Michael took accordian lessons which later in life he picked up again. He embraced music, teaching himself and signing up for courses at Montgomery College. Music brought him joy and spiritual peace. He was well read reaching from the Greek philosophers, to Taoism, Longfellow, Keats, and Whitman as well electricity and refrigeration manuals. In his private moments he wrote poetry.

In his college years Michael spent two years in Santa Barbara California going to

college and playing volleyball.

Adulthood

Michael returned to NY from California worked for JP Morgan in their Building and Grounds Department for awhile and switched to a location on 24th St. in East Manhattan. It was during this period, at the age of 29 when he had a near fatal experience with a brain aneurysm. It was successfully clamped and Michael stipulated to his last days that he was granted a gift of 33 more years of life. He was filled with gratitude to have such an opportunity.

In 1990 Michael moved to Maryland where he pursued locksmithing, refrigeration,

and electricity and worked for George Mason. When he worked for George Mason University, he met a caring person who stood by him as his sponsor and helped him develop resilience and strength in reaching sobriety. Michael embraced the community of AA and they became his family, his core and his strength.

He was a Renaissance man. He followed his passion through a process of self-education and direction. And then, in AA, direction from others. Once he reached his own understanding, he helped others to find their own inner strength. He believed in each person and saw their potential. He gave of himself, and made himself available to others.

After George Mason, Michael was employed by Boston Properties for 16 years as a building engineer. He exercised a kind of monumental physical and spiritual discipline. In the 33 years since his brain aneurysm, he gave thanks for each day of life. He overcame the challenge of two hip replacements. His recovery from the aneurysm and, later, the hip replacements involved a strong tai chi practice. He usually rose at 2:30 or 3:00am each morning to begin his exercise (e.g., tai chi, weight lifting, biking) and prayers before going to work. He swam almost every day.

On Saturday, July 28, 2012, Michael invited Nan Alexander to Wolf Trap to the National Symphony Orchestra’s performance of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9: Ode to Joy. That was their first date. Before entering the hospice, Michael gave his ticket for that performance – which he had saved for nearly four years -- to Nan. Since that date, Michael gave Nan her first experience of unconditional love, which she gradually learned to reciprocate. Nan and her daughter Meera and son-in- law Nehal welcomed Michael into their family (and vice versa) and celebrated many wonderful times together, including every holiday.

In 2015, Michael and Nan made a commitment to one another, lived together and went on their honeymoon to Thailand in late February and early March, 2016. Nan had the joy of swimming and boating with Michael in the Andaman Sea in Krabi in Southern Thailand. Their spontaneous ceremony of joy and commitment took place at Casey House Hospice on April 26, 2016 which was attended by the chaplain, the social worker, and Fred F. Michael and Nan each vowed to cherish, love and commiserate with each other forever. They each exclaimed that it was the best day of their lives.

Michael never lost his integrity or his sense of awe and curiosity through all his challenges. He came to appreciate people and the gifts of life in ways that were a model for others. He never considered himself a victim of misfortune. In the 61 days between his cancer diagnosis and his death, he continued to focus on living each day to the fullest. Nan and/or Natalia stayed with him nearly around the clock in those days and witnessed Michael’s transcendent spirit and way of living the steps and traditions of his faith in technicolor.

Michael’s room at Casey House Hospice often rang with music, singing and laughter. He never voiced a single expression of self-pity, even when he got the “message” on May 11 «to power down his systems», his last systems, to the very end. The massive number of visitors to the Hospice bears witness to all the lives that Michael has touched with his rapier wit and humor, unconditional love, deep generosity and wisdom. When each of his friends said goodbye to Michael after a visit, he would say “I love you, buddy.”