Harold William Frades
29 March, 1942 – 27 March, 2021
As you may be aware, I lost my husband of 45 years on 03/27/2021. I want to thank all of the dear friends who reached out to me with your heart felt condolences and the many stories you share about your experiences with him, with us and your love of him. It is comforting to hear those stories as well as know that he was loved so much by so many. The good times and the laughter resonate in my heart as well as yours.
It is also wonderful to hear how you all could see that Bill and I were so much more than husband and wife; friends and partners, buddies that were glued to each other, because it helps me know that our relationship shined through no matter what.
For Bill Frades ... I have waited to share this because the loss of my husband is not easy to put into words, but for all who knew him, shared time with him, or themselves are blessed to have an enduring relationship, this is for your healing and understanding as well.
I have lost both of my parents, so I understand the devastation when your father dies and you are left behind. I know how it feels when your mother passes and you lose your best friend and life’s mentor. Both are painful beyond imagination and it is a slow healing from that loss, but when you lose the person you love, the ONLY one you EVER loved, that not only shared your life but was your life, it is an indescribable pain from which you will never recover fully.
As I said to Fairica Frades, our journey is a tapestry of life created by you and your partner . When you spend years, decades, weaving that tapestry together it is the lifeblood of your existence. The beauty the two of you create by your shared journey is the vibrance in the art and color of the weave. Then, when one passes, suddenly there is loose thread dangling in that art work you two spent your lifetime creating together. That thread is involuntarily pulled as you go through the ceremonial goodbyes, the absence of them in your every-day, the memories that slap you in the face at the turn of a corner into a room you shared time in or a song you both loved. You are forced to watch as the entire tapestry is unwoven leaving nothing but frayed fragments of your life. Nothing is ever perfect, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t perfect for you and with that I share our life with you and to my love, Bill Frades.
My darling Bill, not farewell, but see you again... Where do I begin? We spoke so often of the magic we both felt the very moment our eyes met at the threshold of your office door. We were both there for a meeting and us two extremely articulate people became so overwhelmed with the electrical pulse of that encounter that we found ourselves shockingly speechless.
Later, us frequently reminiscing about that day, we laughed often about that magical encounter; you talking about how you couldn’t breathe and how you were so flushed that your ears turned red. LOL. I, rather than capitalizing on the moment, was so nerve struck that I got out of there as quickly as I possibly could. Neither of us had previously experienced anything like that in our lives and both of us were blessed to share that moment, that experience, and feel the same way about one another from the very first second our eyes met - destiny! Truly love at first sight.
Instinctively we both understood that we were being led by a force more formidable than us of which we would never have control. We were so unfamiliar with that overpowering ethereal force, so scared AND excited, we each retreated to our “safe” place endeavoring to avoid what was God’s ever mighty hand directing our fate.
I will never forget the day that you decided to look up my address and so bravely showed up at my mother’s front door, unannounced, not knowing if I felt the same way as you. The extraordinary moment I noticed you at the entrance of my mother’s home, my heart began pounding (again) and I was once again paralyzed by your presence. Your words then (45 years ago) are as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday; you said, “I don’t know where this journey will take us but I do know that I cannot go it alone without you, please join me”.
The emotions that rushed through me in that moment were ones of rare beauty, jubilation, shock, fear, love, excitement, desire, peace and I was so impressed with your blatant strength and daring to come forward with such a bold statement-risking everything-not knowing what response you would get. I am so grateful for your bravery for had it not been for you, there would had never been us.
And so we began... Where did our journey take us? Everywhere! For almost a half of a century we shared and enjoyed life’s path of growth in every imaginable way. Whether it was in our career path, of which we both strongly supported the other, or parenting path, which we both relished sharing this uniquely happy road that neither of us would have had any other way, or partnership path where two companions harmoniously lived and enjoyed the same things in life together from the first moment until the last. Laughter, love, fun, adventure, romance, filled our home and our lives.
And passion! There are unlikely two people who are so equally passionate about life and love and living as us. To be met with the same intensity in all that we did; woodworking, gardening, painting, sports activities, career, kids, love, rides in the country, exquisite dinners, family gatherings, picnics, travel, long walks, bicycling in the country, cooking, fighting and making up-it never mattered what it was, we were both correspondingly passionate about all and did them all in alliance! Wow! Lucky us.
Were there rocky times? Of course! No one with such deep passion as the two of us traverse such a long voyage with out encountering mountainous terrain through the passage of a half-century. But the unwavering strength of our love always saw us through to the other side not only together, but embracing one another and interlocking hands to help the other down the right path to continue moving forward merged; never abandoning the other.
Our open communication brought us forward and even though opening up was challenging for us both at times, it ultimately brought us cohesion and brought light to our path of understanding which gave us even more depth as a couple.
You shared with me the sad treacherous past of shallow meaningless painful relationships you had experienced that damaged you in crippling ways for some time, and because of that you said you did not even know what real love was until you met me. You said it was my love that illuminated your life, that gave you the understanding of genuine love, but my darling it was you who ignited that light in me that cast that brightness in both our lives, an eternal light we both share.
I am forever grateful for you holding the flame that fused us in this way. How many couples can say that after 45 years they not only love one another but are still in love more passionately, deeper than ever? We can!
You said it best, and sang it best, love will get us through and it did!
You are the one and only man I ever loved or ever will love. There is no substitute, no replacement, no comparable to you and because I was blessed with loving you and being loved by you, I am forever fulfilled and will never seek or desire any other.
Thank you for the richest moments in my life, thank you for the beautiful children we have, thank you for all the good you brought, but most of all thank you for loving me and only me.
Again in your words, “we are each other’s compass, sail, each other’s rudder and anchor”. Without you I feel adrift in the middle of the ocean, but I know I will see you once again but this time it will be at the threshold of heaven where we will continue our relationship in eternity.
I love you, I have always loved you, I will always love only you.
No public services are scheduled at this time. Receive a notification when services are updated.
Harold William Frades
Mihaii Suguitan- Reef
11 April 2021
You will always be remember. I will see you in heaven.
9 April 2021
I was very saddened to hear of Uncle Billy’s passing. His bright, humorous spirit will be missed. As a kid, we enjoyed seeing Uncle Billy...He always had a funny story to tell.
He was a lot like his father, Harold Frades (my Grandfather) in that way.
When my own father passed away, Billy helped my Mom and our family several times with guidance and advice. It was very much appreciated at such a hard time in our lives.
One of my best memories is the summer after my Dad passed away. Billy and Pam, along with Kaitlyn took me to San Francisco for the day. We went shopping in Union Square and walked around Pier 39...watching the street performers and even participating in a performance and had lunch in North Beach. I truly had a wonderful time that day and it lifted my spirits during a very dark time in my life. It left me with a wonderful memory that I will always remember fondly.
May he Rest In Peace. Hugs and love to Pam and family. ❤️
9 April 2021
I was so sad to hear this horrible news. I have always had such fond memories of my Uncle Billy. He was always so friendly, kind, caring and funny.
My father passed away when I was 14, and he was there to help when we were in need. He even went with me to help me “negotiate” my very first car deal at age 16. I couldn’t have gotten a great deal without him! His expertise with car sales, as well as his desire to truly help me, sealed the deal!
The memories of my childhood... Thanksgivings and family gatherings (especially Christmas Eve’s at his parents’ house) are etched in my mind. Always memorable. With photos to prove it.
I remember, even from childhood, that he always loved to entertain and cook for family, and we were always excited to go see Uncle Billy and Aunt Pam. And also to see where they were living, or what he was doing next. I imagine there was never a dull moment. Which lead to an amazing life!
My love and thoughts are with you all. Praying for peace and comfort... 😔💔
3 April 2021
We are so sorry for the Loss of Billy. My parents and Billy grow up together and were the best of friends and cousins in their early 1st marriage lives... Motorcycle trips together, bowling together, working together in Tracey, Sunday trips to See’s Candy and much more wonderful memories. I was lucky to have him around while I was a kid and I was blessed to babysit his 2nd family, Kirsten and Tyler as they grew up. We were actually double related with my Grandfather and his Mother were siblings and my grandma and his dad were cousins. He will be dearly missed by all!
Love, Phyllis Fromm(Nuding), Sandy Seifert-Raffelson and Stace; and Jerry Seifert.