Our Zia Assunta got the name Susie from her factory boss Mr Warman. Ever after we called her by a diminutive of Assunta in Italian— “Zu Suntin”—and Aunt Susie in English.
( as an aside: the only time this name difference caused a problem was when John and Bridget Lynch tried to find Aunt Susie while they were in San Valentino. They asked locals where “Susie” lived and nobody knew who they were talking about. Luckily, the confusion was sorted and they were able to have coffee with Assunta in her home and she was ‘over the moon’ about their visit!!).
The name Susie fit our aunt—it speaks of a young, vivacious and sassy person. Aunt Susie was all that— especially the sassy part! According to our mother, Aunt Susie was a capricious, strong willed youngster who enjoyed a good life in Italy. In the last week of chatting with Aunt Susie she spoke glowingly of her father and how she loved to work with him in the fields. She had lots of friends and enjoyed being out and about with them.
Aunt Susie came to Toronto in March of 1959. She came in search of work and to be with two of her other siblings. The week after arriving she got a job at an egg factory with Aunt Grace. Six months later, that job ended and after a short stint on unemployment insurance, Aunt Susie got a job at the Warman factory making all manner of bags. She never looked back. When Warman sold the business she worked for Filipe and then she retired! She rarely missed a day of work, if any. She trudged and ran and rode the bus to get to work through all kinds of weather. Not a work benefit to be had and she never got more than minimum wage. Her pay increases came , literally, in pennies . Yet she was loyal and proud of her work— always. Tony and I mused once that on her last day of work we would meet her, as she exited the factory for the last time, with much music and hoopla. But we knew her unassuming self would not have wanted that. So on her last day she left through the side door of the factory and quietly ended her working career.
To my mother Aunt Susie was a tremendous help. She lived with us for many years and was steady in her support of my mother. She cared for us and cleaned and cooked and was there whenever the chips were down for my mother. My mother and aunt worked together at the factory for many years and while that was generally good, there were times when the sisters had “words”. Nonetheless,
their sister bond was strong and they both leaned on each other and supported each other throughout the best and worst of times
As for the nieces and nephews— well that’s where Aunt Susie shone. Maria and I were saying the the other day:
• she was not necessarily adventurous but she loved to hear about our adventures
• she didn’t like to spend money but she loved to see whatever we bought
• she never married but she encouraged each of us to marry
• she listened to our stories and laughed and cried with us.
• she listened quietly to our complaints about life or our parents and offered bits of advice. But mostly she just listened and that in itself was enough
• she was easy to talk to and to sit quietly with. It was easy to be in her company
The times we remembered were these:
• how she would walk with a teenaged Maria down Shaw Street to Bloor on many a Saturday to shop for clothes or to just look around
• how she and Maria often shopped on a Friday after work when Maria worked at Warman’s with Aunt Susie. Maria and Aunt Susie were very close—almost like sisters.
• how she would stand at the top of the stairs at the Manchester house, like a centurion, with Tony sitting on the top step. She wouldn’t let him go to bed until he washed his feet... and she always outlasted him and won!
• how we always knew that if Lou wasn’t at home for dinner, especially on a Friday or Saturday night, he was with Aunt Susie and Uncle Joe. Once Joanne came on the scene she joined in on those dinners as well
• how when Lou was recovering from his accident, Aunt Susie and Uncle Joe brought him food every night (and a little jar of wine)
• how she saved everything and hung nearly everything from the basement ceiling. The original recyclers
• how on one of Bob’s first visits to 104 Benson Ave, Aunt Susie served bean soup with pig skin... and he had seconds. It was good he said, except for the little hairs brushing the throat (was she testing him?)
• how Aunt Susie shared a bedroom with me and Maria in the Manchester days and she was very particular about how things were to be kept. She also ensured we knelt each night at the side of the bed and said our prayers
• how I would sometimes be allowed to have dinner with Aunt Susie and Uncle Joe in their Manchester kitchen. They treated me like a queen and always made sure I drank some pink ginger ale — half wine, half ginger ale.
• how she arrived at every family event with her deliciously simple “Aunt Susie cake”
• how Aunt Susie would get mad or excited or happy and shout at the top of her lungs.
• how Aunt Susie provided sizeable loans to each of us when we bought houses
• And how she wasn’t afraid to give us heck! Even last week when Maria and Lou rushed to answer her distress call, they found her in tremendous pain— even then she had the “Aunt Susie” gumption to tell Lou to take his shoes off the next time he came to her house.
• how she had a special connection with her lovely Joanne. She loved Joanne’s spirit and her cooking ! Joanne in turn was devoted to Aunt Susie —always including her and visiting her. Aunt Susie often called on Joanne when she needed help. Still Aunt Susie was not shy about letting Joanne know if something wasn’t quite up to standard!
• how Aunt Susie fawned over Bob (with whom she shared a birthday) and often told Maria that she married a good man.
• how she loved to hear stories about Laurie and her family
• how, whenever I called she would always ask that I give her regards to Bev and the “sposini”
The great nieces and nephews were also a source of pure enjoyment for Aunt Susie. She loved to hear of the escapades of the three D’Angelo girls! She would laugh at their adventures and watch closely to see what they were wearing and doing. Aunt Susie was a farmer at heart and was delighted by stories of Paula’s farm and all her adventures. She always hoped Dennis would buy a house nearby so they could enjoy the neighbourhood as she did. And then there was Daniel; she affectionately called Daniel her “boyfriend” as he often chauffeured aunt Susie to family gatherings. She often spoke of what big men Anthony and Matthew had become—and how well they dressed. These were her treasures! Her window into the world today and the future.
But the cherries on the cake for Aunt Susie were her two great, great nephews!! Andrea and Dan’s boys were her delight. She prayed for Dominic and Leo every night and was always asking to hear stories about them or see pictures of them.
Above all, it was hard to speak of Aunt Susie without also speaking of Uncle Joe ! Aunt Susie and Uncle Joe were a team! Aunt Susie loved her brother dearly and looked out for him as he did for her. When our parents moved to Florida. Aunt Susie and Uncle Joe would come to our house either on the Saturday or Sunday of almost every weekend. They would quietly cook special meals for us and spend time with us as we went about our business. As Tony mentioned in the obituary, Aunt Susie missed her brother immensely after his passing. She maintained a brave front and was happy when we came by but she was very lonely without her brother. I know she is happy to be with him now.
Aunt Susie was the family historian. She had all the stories in her heart and head. With her passing goes so many accounts of what happened way back when. We will miss that.
It cannot go without mention that Aunt Susie was the queen of the corner of Rushton Road and Benson Ave. She knew the comings and goings of neighbours and she had a hello for all passersby. Aunt Susie loved her walks along St. Clair and was often heard to say these last few years that “St Clair was finished”— no more stores, only restaurants! Nobody eats at home anymore.
Aunt Susie was the “backstage crew”. She was rarely on centre stage and did not relish the limelight. She worked behind the scenes to help make things possible for those in her family —so they could dance or sing or strut on the world’s stage as they wished. The exception was when she was in her own home on Benson Ave— there she produced, directed and ran the show with assertiveness and strength. You were told where to sit and what to do in Aunt Susie’s kitchen— and there was no straying from her instructions.
The last few weeks were, to say the least, very trying for Aunt Susie. She occasionally said that she was okay with leaving this world—her little house was all ready for her beside her brother (her crypt at the mausoleum). And, despite her drooping spirit and exhausted body, she took time to give her jewelry away to nieces and great nieces and to make time for visitors. But mostly and repeatedly she would say “Zu Suntin e frigat”; I’m done! I’m finished! No more cakes!!” She was disheartened. She had no appetite, she was in pain, she was exceedingly tired and lost the strength in her legs. Maria worked tirelessly to get help for her and she refused all. She leaned on Maria most of all of us and looked to her for the support she needed. She was in lots of pain and often full of regrets and anger. As you can imagine, at those times, she did not leave any of her feelings bottled up!! And in the end that rage, rage and more rage “against the dying of the light” epitomized the essence of Aunt Susie: what you see is what is real! Aunt Susie was all real!
We will all miss Aunt Susie’s quiet, unassuming, and sassy presence; her immovable stubbornness that made her do as she pleased. Her deep love for her siblings and her devotion to her whole family.
Before closing I want to end by saying thank you to all of you for showing your love for Aunt Susie today. As someone who has not lived nearby for a long time I want to say thank you to all of you here for taking care of Aunt Susie so well. It was hard to have her living on her own. When she called Maria, Joanne, Lou or Tony were quickly by her side for doctors’ appointments or emergency hospital care. Laurie and Bob were at the ready to help in any way possible or to just pick up the slack. They were all ready to help—any time and often. These last two months were particularly difficult and so on my behalf, I can’t say thank you enough, for taking care of our dear aunt.
I want to end by echoing Tony’s words:
Aunt Susie was a strong and independent woman who liked to do things in her own special way. She was unfailing in her devotion to family and could always be counted on to give a helping hand when it was asked of her or to participate in family celebrations when the occasion beckoned. Assunta Ascenzo —our beloved Aunt Susie—was a good and gentle soul who loved unconditionally and was loved unconditionally in return. May she rest in eternal peace.
Flora
Obituary:
Assunta Ascenzo was born on August 1, 1937 in San Valentino, Prov. Pescara, Abruzzo, Italy and passed away on September 24, 2020 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. After a long and good life Assunta died on the morning of Wednesday September 24, 2020 as she wished….in her own home. She is survived by her sister Cristina D’Angelo and predeceased by her sister Maria Ascenzo and her brother Giuseppe Ascenzo as well as her brother-in-law Nicola D’Angelo. She is also survived by her nieces Maria Concetta Reynolds (Robert) and Flora D’Angelo (Beverly) and her nephews Luigi D’Angelo (Joanne) and Antonio D’Angelo (Laurie). She is survived by eight great nieces and nephews: Andrea, Daniel, Christine, Paula, Dennis, Alyssa, Anthony and Matthew; and two great-great nephews: Dominic and Leo. She was a strong and independent woman who liked to do things in her own special way. She was a loyal and dedicated employee for over thirty-five years of Warman Brothers Products Ltd. She rarely missed a day of work. She was unfailing in her devotion to family and could always be counted on to give a helping hand when it was asked of her or to participate in family celebrations when the occasion beckoned. She was a good and gentle soul who loved unconditionally and was loved unconditionally in return. May she rest in eternal peace.
Friends may visit at the Jerrett Funeral Home, 1141, St. Clair Ave. W. (1 block east of Dufferin St) on Sunday, September 27, 2020 from 2-5pm. The Funeral Mass will be held on Monday, September 28, 2020 at 11am at St. Clare Catholic Church, 1118 St. Clair Ave. W. Entombment to follow privately for the family.
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