Born and reared in Lexington, Massachusetts, Caroline completed her AB degree at Emmanuel College in Boston in 1958. Confident that with her 88% average in her biochemistry major, she applied for admission to four medical schools. Given the gender barriers of that era, she was refused admission by all four - with letters arriving the same day! Undeterred, she applied to the University of Michigan, Department of Bacteriology.
At Michigan, she felt totally uncomfortable with her chosen major. A close friend recommended that she switch to a Social Work MSW programme, where she was welcomed with a bursary and field placement. On Sundays, she attended St Mary's Chapel, which served U-M students. All the graduate students gathered afterward at the same table for a light breakfast in the chapel basement. In a round of introductions, a Masters student in Sociology, Michael Lanphier, jumped up and exclaimed "So YOU'RE Caroline Saunders!" He quickly explained that an Emmanuel classmate whom he dated while at Harvard suggested that he "look her up" at Michigan. After on-off dating for a couple years, one December evening Michael invited her to the communion rail at the chapel and proposed marriage. Her dream wedding took place June 23, 1962.
Already well ensconced as a medical-psychiatric social worker at a hospital near Detroit, she engaged a van to ship off to State College, Pennsylvania, where Michael had accepted an Assistant Professorship in Sociology at Penn State. She became a full-time homemaker, working only part-time until the birth of their first child, Sue, in 1964. She felt that she should have a sibling, and in 1967, they rejoiced in welcoming Elizabeth to the little family.
Learning that Sue's disabilities required services not available in the "happy valley" of State College, Michael succeeded in receiving an invitation to join the newly created "second" university in Toronto -- York -- as director of Canada's first survey research centre. They crossed the border to Canada on a blustery evening with two crying babies impatient for bed. Late that evening, they showed up to their newly purchased house in Willowdale, finally taking relief that the travails of anti-Viet Nam protests were left behind for a new more serene chapter.
She and her family received warm welcomes from neighbours and service providers who proceeded immediately to address Sue's disabilities - at no additional cost! Caroline rejoiced at the reception, trying to pronounce "schedule" without the hard "c" sound! She could hardly wait for the five years residency to elapse so that she and her family could become new citizens.
Caroline quickly found a placement as a medical social worker, working in a totally new field of gender identity as well as in aftercare for heart transplant patients. Our conversations at the dinner table became almost as exciting as the gourmet dishes that she created in "spare time". After some ten years, family matters changed when her mother joined them. Caroline "retired" from her clinical posts after a satisfying career where she had co-authored a few scientific papers, wishing farewell to her colleagues at Toronto Western and General Hospitals.
Nearly every summer, Caroline joined Michael in conference travel whereas Vice-President of the International Sociological Association, he offered research papers on immigration and refugee intake. Occasionally he was able to ask his then teen-aged daughters to join us. Little did she realized that she was planting a "Wanderlust" bug to which Elizabeth succumbed after graduation from McGill and York's Education programme.
Sue delighted us in introducing Paul Gibbs to the family. Caroline became Mother of the Bride in 1997 at a "Sound of Music" wedding of which Sue had dreamed. Her first grandchild, Sarah delighted her in 1999. She quickly learned that babysitting was an integral part of her role!
Elizabeth, then teaching at an international school in Yokahama met a young man, Darron Hunt, who had travelled from the English midlands to work at a branch of General Motors. Caroline delighted that their courtship led to marriage, knowing that she would have travel again to keep up with their peregrinations!
So, Caroline entered another phase: being Nana or Grandma! She revelled in pictures and visits with her new families. Bi-monthly telephone calls kept her up to date with her distant branch, while she was able to watch Sue's little Sarah at closer range. One March evening in 2009 she slipped while preparing dinner in her well-equipped kitchen. Sadly, her right femur had fractured. She returned to Toronto Western, this time as a patient requiring major surgery. The skilled surgeon reported a dismal prognosis: she would use crutches or wheel chair for the forseeable future. The slow recuperation process also atrophied her knee muscles, so that her disability appeared permanent. Undeterred, she continued as homemaker and took on knitting projects with thriller novels breaking the click of the needles.
Even with the challenges of climbing and descending the staircase in her century-old house, Caroline retained her sunny disposition with her family and weekly helpers. But the house soon appeared too big and unnavigable. In 2014, a superb realtor showed her a nearby 6-room condo unit on the third floor with an eastern exposure to match her still-sunny attitude toward life and her family and friends. Gourmet dinners continued. Conversations always flowed. Family life returned to its even keel.
Still, aging brought increased need for assistance. After the untimely passing of our family doctor, she spent most of 2017 in search of a replacement. Successful at last, the new family doctor promised monthly home visits to his patient who resisted any medication she felt not absolutely necessary. She developed some mysterious symptoms -- numbness in her little finger, followed by slurring of speech. For the first time in her life she began to complain of pain - so acute that she swallowed more than recommended dosages of painkillers. At a loss for remedies, Michael called an ambulance one Sunday morning in early April 2018.
Again, Toronto Western Hospital surfaced - almost by chance as the ambulance was sent to the next hospital in rotation. This time she appeared as a very sick patient with an infection that seemed to migrate through her body with a speed and destructive capacity that defied multiple intravenous infusions and other ministrations. Finally moved to Intensive Care unit, a doctor and nurse kept a vigilant watch day and night for more than a week. She drifted in and out of consciousness while recognizing her family members even though we could not understand her attempts at speaking. Uncomplaining, she bore her final days in serene equanimity.
On April 17, Michael, her two daughters and Sue's husband, kissed her at the end of their afternoon visit and departed for a family dinner, where they toasted Caroline as the first order before the bill of fare.
Just before 8:00 on the morning of April 18, the attending physician telephoned Michael to report that Caroline had breathed her last after declining vital signs through the night. Caroline had passed on.
Her family will celebrate her life in a simple service following visitation April 26. Hers was a
beautiful life for 81 full years.
Requiescat in pace aeterna.
Lovingly composed by her husband of fifty-five years --
Michael Lanphier
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