Ping Wing Lau

September 8, 1924 - January 6, 2013

(Life story written by youngest brother, Lau, Gabriel Ping Yuen)

Personal Profile

My eldest brother adopted his English name, Paul, in Canada. He was an outgoing, meticulous, caring and considerate individual. He hardly kept things to himself. He had a good sense of humour and would crack a funny joke once in a while. He used common sense and would consider practical solutions to problems. He planned things out in detail, wanted to do things to perfection and would not procrastinate. In fact, sometimes he would feel ill at ease if things were not done in a timely manner. He cared about his family, relatives, friends and people. He would not hesitate to give sound advice to family, relatives and friends and help them solve problems. He was sensitive to friends and family, avoided conflicts and in fact, accepted conflicts as normal in relationships. He was a visionary and pioneer. He could foresee a bright future for his children in Canada and prudently decided to settle in this country of plenty. His decision had a ripple effect. As a result, all his siblings and many relatives immigrated and settled in Canada with his help. Many of us are indebted to him and will miss him.

Background

He was born at home in Hong Kong, China (formerly British Crown Colony) on September 8, 1924 and brought up on that island. He was predeceased by his father, Lau, Fook Cheung alias Lau, Hei Kwan and mother, Wong, Lin Tai.

Siblings

He had 3 younger brothers, Lau, Ping Foo (deceased), Lau, Ping Wah (deceased), Lau, Gabriel Ping Yuen (Winnipeg, Manitoba) and 2 younger sisters, Lau, Yip Chee (Surrey, B.C.) and Lau, Yip Kam (Winnipeg, Manitoba).

Hobbies

As a teenager and adult, my eldest brother loved playing soccer. He was on the Hong Kong Naval Dockyard soccer team and won many a trophy.

He had been solving crossword puzzles since adolescence in Hong Kong and continued doing so in Canada until he was hospitalized after Christmas, 2012. Very few people could match him.

He became an avid angler when he was transferred to the Vancouver Immigration Office in 1967. He would go out on a boat with a friend to the bays around Vancouver every weekend. He always had a big catch and would share with his friends or relatives. After years of fishing, he said they had almost cleared the stocks in the bays. In the early 2000’s, he finally packed it up.

He loved watching hockey on TV and would not miss a game. He even programmed the VCR to tape games when away from home. He cheered for the Canucks.

He was also a keen stamp collector. He had albums of stamps of various countries going back to the early 1900’s.

Schooling

My eldest brother could not finish Chinese secondary school in Hong Kong due to the Japanese occupation of the colony. After the 2nd World War, in order to enhance his English, he took nearly 3 years of evening classes in English at Wah Yan College, Kowloon, Hong Kong. His proficiency in Chinese and English surpassed that of many people. His penmanship was superior. His only one regret in life was he had not had the opportunity to study medicine and become a medical doctor. He had the brain and aptitude but not the opportunity due to the 2nd World War.

Friends

Among his friends, Jim Lee (his fishing buddy) and the late Howard Wong (who taught him driving and was also his fishing buddy) were his best. They used to get together more than often.

Spouse

Choi, Lin Ying was married to my eldest brother around Christmas, December, 1948 (Chinese Custom) in Hong Kong and their marriage was registered civilly on January 18, 1949. According to the Chinese Custom, on the wedding day, the bride, in red dress, was carried to the groom’s residence in a sedan chair. The groom wore a red gown. In the groom’s residence, the groom and bride had to kneel and offer a cup of tea to the groom’s parents. They were each given handsel money in a red packet. A reception then followed in a restaurant.

Children

Seven offspring were born in Hong Kong (/spouses) in order of:

Lau, Ronald Kwong Ming / Eloisa (Edmonton, Alberta)

Santry, Angela Kam Lan / Dallas (deceased) (Ottawa, Ontario)

Lau, Luke Kwong Yiu / Mory (Vancouver, B.C.)

Lau, Peter Kwong Hung / Cathy (South Surrey, B.C.)

Lau, Alfred Kwong Fai / Fanny (Vancouver, B.C.)

Enge, Mavis Kam Fung / Peter (Nanaimo, B.C.)

Lau, Bessie Kam Lin / (Vancouver, B.C.)

Grandchildren

There are 11 grandchildren:

Melanie, Kelvin, David, Lisa, Quisha, Nathan, David, Gloria, Brian, Barbara and Benson

Great Grandchildren

There are altogether 5 great grandchildren as follows:

Natalie, Elise, Allora, Noah and Addison

Career and Achievements

My eldest brother started his work life as a supply and requisition clerk with the Hong Kong Naval Dockyard after the 2nd World War. When the British Navy was moving to Singapore, he was transferred to the Wanchai Police Station in approx.1958 as an interpreter and later to Hong Kong Police Headquarters.

In 1961, he was recruited by the Canada Immigration and Citizenship Department as an interpreter on a one-year contract. He was assigned to the Vancouver Immigration Office to work on the Chinese Adjustment Status Programme. As a matter of history, in the late 1800’s up to 1947, a great number of Chinese came to Canada illegally as children (so-called paper sons and daughters) of Chinese immigrants. They were being ill-treated by employers, and threatened with deportations and blackmailed by racketeers. The Canadian Government gradually came to learn about it in the late 1950’s. Thanks to Douglas Jung, M.P. and Ellen Fairclough, then Minister of Citizenship and Immigration, who tabled a bill to Parliament in 1960 to adjust the status of those illegal Chinese immigrants. The Chinese Adjustment Status Program was consequently proclaimed. The Government then decided to hire interpreters from the Hong Kong Police Department to assist. In 1961, my eldest brother was one of the first groups of interpreters hired on a contract and initially assigned to the Vancouver Immigration Office.

In 1962, my eldest brother was transferred to work at Citizenship and Immigration National Headquarters, Ottawa. In 1967, the Department decided to hire him and other interpreters permanently and grant them permanent residence status in Canada. It was a big, big decision for him to emigrate from Hong Kong. As I said earlier, he was a visionary and pioneer. He could foresee a bright future for his seven children in Canada. He prudently accepted the permanent position and permanent residence status in Canada. In 1967, he was transferred back to the Vancouver Immigration Office.

On Victoria Day, May 21, 1967, his dear wife and 7 children arrived in Vancouver from Hong Kong and were reunited with him.

My eldest brother took a translator’s position with the RCMP Security and Intelligence in 1970 and later with CSIS. In 1985, he took on another career – happy and fruitful retirement.

From 1961 to 1970, under the Chinese Adjustment Status Programme, my eldest brother must have helped thousands of illegal Chinese declare their true identities and families, get their status adjusted and subsequently be reunited with their families from China. Many of them are still grateful to him.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the hardships my eldest brother with two younger siblings and our father suffered during the Japanese occupation of Hong Kong from 1941 to 1945. During that period, they were making a living as vegetable pedlars. Every morning, they would walk to a town for over an hour and buy vegetables from the farmers there. They would then wheel the vegetables in a barrel up and down hilly roads, over an hour, back to the city market where to sell the vegetables. Because of lack of nutrition, my eldest brother became night blind. Fortunately, he regained his night vision after the war.

My eldest brother escaped a couple of close encounters during the Japanese occupation of Hong Kong. One particular incident was the Japanese soldiers were, for no good reason, shooting pedestrians in a street. He happened to be on the scene and was on a bike. He immediately turned around and rode away. Without paying attention, he entered the air force base where there was a sign “Prohibited. Violators shot on sight.” He could not turn back but to continue riding. The Japanese soldiers were staring at him but did not stop or shoot him. My eldest brother thought those soldiers must have mistaken him for being a messenger. He kept riding to the other end and out of the air force base safely.

Time and again, I have said if it had not been for my eldest brother’s wise decision to settle in Canada and influence, many of us would not have been here in Canada today. I am one of his beneficiaries. He was the very first one of the Lau clan who emigrated from Hong Kong, the root of the Lau clan. Our thanks shall never ever suffice.

Death

My eldest brother passed away at the Vancouver General Hospital, Vancouver, B.C. on January 6, 2013. His dear wife, seven children and families, relatives and friends attended the funeral service at Glenhaven Memorial Chapel, Vancouver, B.C. on January 12, 2013, followed by interment at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, Burnaby, B.C.

Fond Memories

(Daughter, Angela Santry)

My fondest memories of father are:

1.) Father worked at the horse racing track in Hong Kong as his second job. He never failed to save his ham-and-egg sandwich for mom, and mom would in turn give it to me. It was something I always looked forward to as a kid.

2.) When I won a gold award in kindergarten, father was so proud that he asked me what I wanted on the way (in a ferry) to see mom, who was giving birth to Bessie at the hospital. Without knowing the hardship of our large family, my immediate response was a piano. A few days later, father handed me a tiny 6-key piano. It was not at all the full 88 keys that I expected but remained very grateful, simply because he remembered and cared.

3.) Most often, father didn't say much during family gatherings, but he seemed to remember what everyone said. In the early 1980s, I mentioned not being able to remember Chinese characters. During the next visit, he handed me a big English/Chinese dictionary. In the early 2000s, I complained not being able to read simplified Chinese characters; he immediately gave me a dictionary with traditional and simplified Chinese characters. To me, these are the most precious presents of all from a loving father.

4.) Dad taught me the English sound difference between "a man and a pen" and "a hen in a pan" when I was in Grade 1. He was very frustrated that I couldn't sound it out correctly, no matter how many times I tried, but he never once lost his temper or belittled me. That taught me one very important lesson in life: be patient with anyone who tries to learn anything, anything at all.

5.) The very first night that we arrived in Vancouver from Hong Kong, he came to our bedroom to make sure we were sleeping OK. It was dark, but somehow he managed to pick up my watch from the side table, and put it down again. I was puzzled and asked him why he did that. He replied, "The face of the watch should be up, never down, because it's not good for the watch". He was indeed a meticulous man!

(Niece, Cynthia Lau)

I have a story about Uncle Paul's kindness to me:

In 2007, I went to Vancouver on my own and stayed with Uncle Paul and Aunt. I became really, really sick with flu-like symptoms. In fact, I was bed-ridden for almost one week in the bottom bunk of the basement bedroom. (For those of you who know me well, I hate to stay still. I am constantly on the go.) I couldn't sit up in bed, eat anything at all, or barely drink water. Every time I stood up, I became so dizzy that I had to lean against the wall for support. Uncle Paul was really worried about me. Often, I would see him peek in the room (on tip-toe) to make sure I was okay. He would ensure that the curtains were dark so that I could sleep. He put a bottle of water by my bed in case I woke up and was thirsty. So considerate.

When I was finally well enough for the drive to the doctor's office, Uncle Paul had to walk with me to the doctor and prop me up so that I didn't fall. He even came into the doctor's office with me, in case there were Chinese translation requirements. Not once did Uncle Paul complain about taking care of me or act annoyed with me. At that time, Uncle Paul was not as strong as he once was (being in his 80's already). However, he still found the strength to be a source of support and comfort for me. I will never forget how nice Uncle Paul was to me.

(Grandson, David Santry)

My favourite memories of Vancouver always revolved around my Gong Gong and Pau Pau's house. We would usually always stay at grandpa's house every time we visited Vancouver, from Ottawa. Grandpa would graciously accommodate us, feed us, entertain us, and always make us feel welcomed. Pau Pau didn't speak English, but would always approach Lisa and me and say 'eat some more' which meant 'are you hungry?' It was a great experience. Gong Gong would always offer us a juice box daily which came in mango flavour, lychee flavour, or the dreaded soy beverage which I did not like half as much. Gong Gong would tell us stories about the biggest fishes he ever caught, he would tell us all about the weather in Vancouver, and would always be sure to ask me if there are any new video games I've been playing lately. He knew me so well! Gong Gong taught me Cantonese on the side when we were down in Vancouver, and always checked to make sure I remembered how to use chopsticks. He told me that if I could pick up a grain of rice with chopsticks then I was truly a great user of the utensils. He joked with me one time that if I could throw a grain of rice in the air and catch it again with my chopsticks, I would be better than him. I just have to keep trying, Grandpa!

(Granddaughter-in-law, Katrina Enge, Wife of Nathan Enge)

Two very special and fond memories I have of Grandpa Lau is that he and Grandma Lau attended both of my daughters’ moon yuet (one month old) celebrations. I feel honoured to have presented and Grandpa Lau with two great-grandchildren. To learn his legacy as a caring and hardworking father/grandfather encourages me to strive to be the best parent I can. It is very heartwarming for me to remember the memory that both Elise (now 4 years of age) and Allora (currently 9 mos) were both held by their great grandpa when they were infants. When Nathan and I show pictures in photo albums of Grandpa Lau to Elise, she will often say “That’s my “Bak-Gong and that’s daddy’s “Gong-Gong” and he came to mine and Allora’s one month birthday party and that’s special!”

(Son, Ron Lau)

1. Growing up in Hong Kong in the 1950s, my grandfather owned and operated a dry cleaning and laundry shop (Chuen Sun Dry Cleaning and Laundry) in Kowloon City. My father, being a very helpful son to his father, my grandfather, would work in the shop on Sunday to allow my grandfather to have a one-day break from work each week. My father would probably have worked in the shop on Saturdays also if he had not already committed to work at the Happy Valley Race Tracks on Saturdays. My father would take me along most of the Sundays to the shop, probably to get me out of my mother's hair for a day. There was always the Sing Tao Daily Newspaper there every Sunday. Being a Sunday issue, there was always a children section in the newspaper. In those days, I was very much interested in reading the children section which always contained a colouring contest. Every Sunday I would take my time and coloured the pictures and ask my father to send it in for the contest. Having seen my enthusiasm, my father would cut out the little coloured picture, put it nicely in an envelope and mail it out to the newspaper. He had done that for me every Sunday that I was in the shop. The following Sunday, before I would colour the picture in the newspaper again, I would check to see if my coloured picture had won the contest. This colouring, mailing, checking and getting disappointed for not being selected went on for a long, long time, seemed like at least a year or so. Finally, one Sunday my name came up in the newspaper as one of the winners. My father gave me a big congratulation and also released a big sigh of relief at the same time. To retrieve the winner's gift from the newspaper, because my father was at work during the normal newspaper office hours, my grandfather, yes my grandfather, had to take me for a ferry ride to the Hong Kong side to the newspaper office. I forgot what the prize was; it could have been a small package of colour crayons or something like that. The fact that my father had persevered in mailing my coloured pictures out over a long period of time in order to encourage my hobby and the fact the whole experience made me realize how important and precious I was to him, and of course he felt the same ways to all my brothers and sisters, the size of the prize was not important after all.

2. My father was a defenseman for the Hong Kong Naval Dockyard soccer team that competed regularly back in the 1950s. I still remember one particular time my father took me to the game that he played in. Before the start of the soccer game, he sat me down on the bench at his team section. I was probably 6 or 7 years old then and was not as smart and sensible as the children of the same age of this day and age. At the beginning of the game, I was mostly watching the game from his team's bench. Somehow, near the end of game, I ended up somewhere far, far away from the team's bench. I forgot what the final score was but I remember sitting somewhere far, far away from father's bench and watching him. He seemed very distraught and was looking for me over all sections of the benches. I saw him frantically looking for me but for some reason I never waved or alerted him from where I was sitting. It probably seemed like eons to him but he finally spotted me from far, far away. He rushed toward me and said something that I could not recall but it was not harsh. Then he gave me a big, reassuring hug. I was so relieved that he did not yell or scream at me. This shows how he cared and treated his children, even under extreme stress.

3. At the time my father was working at the Hong Kong Naval Dockyard, I always wondered what the fuss about the Naval Dockyard was. Maybe because my constant questioning or bugging him to tell me about his work and the office, he finally took me to his work place on a Saturday that he worked in the morning. In the afternoon of each Saturday, he would work in the Happy Valley Race Tracks to supplement his income. Anyways, the Saturday that he took me to his work place was a day that I will never forget. That was the day that I took my first-ever tram ride to the top of the Victoria Peak where his office was located. That was also the first time that I had a lunch together with Caucasian people, using knife and fork utensils instead of chopsticks. I will never forget the aroma of the freshly baked bread out of the oven. I can almost smell the freshly baked bread every time I think of that day. But the most important piece of memory of this trip was that he was sitting in his office and typing away with so much concentration for what seemed to be hours without any rest or stopping. Ever since after that trip with him to his work place, I have had a better appreciation of his dedication to his work and more importantly the effort he would make to educate his children and to satisfy their curiosity.

(Granddaughter, Barbara Hui)

Throughout elementary school, Grandpa and Grandma would always come to pick us up right at 3pm sharp. Brian, Benson, and I became ecstatic as soon as we saw Grandpa's Peugeot parked on the street and raced to get in. Car rides were never a dull moment, filled with his wide variety of witty jokes and colorful vocabulary. Whether the destination would be McDonald's, Terry's Restaurant, Church's Chicken, or their home, Grandparents' mission was to make sure we were well fed before being allowed to do anything else. As if that wasn't enough, three hours later came to be bestowed upon by a gourmet feast for dinner. Usually, one of the dishes consisted of Grandpa's infamous straight-from-the-sea-to-the-table rock cod, sole, and/or crabs. I've never been more impressed in his skill, accuracy, and speed in preparing seafood for cooking. It was like watching a magic show. Grandpa's chicken wings were magic too like none other. Among countless things, I also give him all the credit for our good eye vision due to the plentiful supply of omega-3. The depths of his generosity and spending time with us were unconditional. In addition to taking care of us, he'd invariably go with us to dim sum, walk around in the mall, and even though it was very out of the way, drive us to Chuck E Cheese's. Every single year, our birthdays would be pleasantly greeted with a beautifully hand written birthday card from him and Grandma. One year, he gave me a birthday card enclosed with a drawing that I did over 15 years ago. Grandpa understood that the sentimental and the invaluable are some of the most precious things in life. No matter what the situation, in all the years, Grandpa was extremely giving, patient, tolerant, kind, caring, funny, considerate, gentle, thoughtful, (the list is endless) and an unparalleled teacher & mentor. We are eternally grateful & indebted to our Grandpa.

(Daughter, Bessie)

My fondest memories of father are the: 7 WONDERS!

Don’t need to search around the world for the 7 Wonders, it’s just at our home 250 E. 38th Ave.

1. Dad was a great VISIONARY!

Dad had worked so hard in very way for his 7 children. It wasn’t easy to be away from the family to start a new job in a totally new unexpected environment all alone. He had faith and would do anything for his family despite all the hardships to have a better future for us. Thanks to Dad.

2. Dad was a great DIETICIAN!

Dad had made sure his 7 children had a proper diet during the growing up time. Dinner mandatory dishes consisted of FISH, MEAT, VEGETABLES, SOUP, & RICE. That’s why all of his 7 children are in such good health. Thanks to Dad.

3.Dad was a great FISHERMAN!

No doubt his ROCK COD rocks! My kids & I had the opportunities to have freshest fishes from the sea to the dinner table Saturday weekly, not to mention the CRABS! I remember Brian wouldn’t eat any other fishes bought from market other than Dad’s because he could tell the differences. With all those Omega-3, no wonder Brian, Barbara, & Benson are not wearing glasses. Thanks to Dad.

4. Dad was a great GRAND PARENT!

Dad helped to pick up my 3 kids from elementary school daily and take them to McDonald, Terry Restaurant, or Church’s Fried Chicken followed by a dinner at his home. Never could do without him. Thanks to Dad.

5. Dad was a great loving HUSBAND!

Dad always put food onto Mom’s plate at dinner time even up to his last years on earth. He would cut up the food to pieces and said “Don’t eat too fast, it’s hot!” to Mom. Thanks to Dad.

6. Dad was a great DAD!

Dad was a very sensitive person, knowing when to say the right thing at the right time without hurting anyone’s feeling. Thanks to Dad.

7. Dad had 7 WONDERS!

After all said, he had 7 children which became his 7 WONDERS!

The 7 WONDERS are grateful to him forever in our hearts! Thanks to Dad.

(Son, Luke Lau)

My fond memory of Dad is as follows:

I remember when I was still running my drugstore about 15 years ago, parents used to visit me quite regularly on Tuesdays and brought me Dim-Sum for lunch. On one Tuesday, parents came and brought me the usual 'goodies'. Surprisingly, Dad took my work stool with a worn-out top to the outside. I was too busy with customers and did not pay any attention to him. After an hour or so, Dad came back with the same stool and had upholstered it with a nice and thick padding. I still have the same stool around my house. Dad was really a skillful craftsman!

Dad was also meticulous and well-organized in his daily life. In 1991, he bought four burial plots and kept all the documents nicely in a folder for future reference. In addition, he even took time in taking a few photos about the gravesites that made our job easier in identifying the location a few weeks ago at Forest Lawn Memorial Park.

Dad was very generous and liked to share his good fortune. One of the reasons that he kept buying lottery tickets in most draws was that he once said that if he won the 'big one', he would share the jackpot with all his offspring. I remember one time he did win a couple of hundred dollars at a US Casino and did invite all of us to a delicious king crab dinner in Richmond. What a memorable feast!

(Niece, Deborah Wurtele (Lau))

Growing up, I have always had fond memories of Uncle Paul. His generosity, kindness and recognition of significant moments in my life will always hold a special place in my heart.

In July 2006, elderly Uncle Paul and Aunt travelled a long way to Winnipeg to attend my wedding. To have Uncle Paul and Aunt be present at my wedding meant a great deal to me and my husband, Dan. It was one of the best days of my life! Uncle Paul was just one of a kind! I will never forget my favourite Uncle.

(Granddaughter, Lisa Santry)

As far back as I can remember, we would vacation in Vancouver, and often being terrified and overwhelmed, having to travel so far away at such a young age to visit a large family. But by the end of our trip, I never wanted to leave. Gongong and paupau were such great hosts, so welcoming and so excited to see us. Without fail, gongong would make sure he always met us at the airport and be there to see us off. He would also make sure to have delicious snacks available for us, such as mango juice boxes and Chinese buns. Since my brother and I only got to see gongong and paupau once in a while, we cherished every visit we had. I remember the very first time he showed me his pet turtle, I had never seen a real turtle before! I was so dumbfounded! And every visit after that, it just got bigger and bigger. Gongong was always very proud and fond of all his turtles. He showed me how to feed and take care of them, and how to be patient and caring.

I have many fond memories of being driven around in his Volvo, visiting all the tourist attractions in Vancouver. I also loved to look at his pile of photo albums. He would tell me stories about those photos - such a great story teller! I was particularly amazed by those gigantic fish he had caught, as they were so huge and colorful. I often wondered how he could lift something almost half as big as him! While Vancouver visits often involved eating at various restaurants, my favorite was eating those fresh fish and crabs that gongong went all out to catch for dinner!

Even though we live so far away, he always made time to call and say hello. He asked about the weather, how we were doing in school and took an interest in our lives. Then of course asked when our next visit would be. He never failed to send us Christmas cards with delightful greetings and Lai Sees that no doubt, will be sorely missed.

It's sad now to think that gongong won’t be at the airport to greet us anymore, or that I won't be able to hear stories of his gigantic fish, but I will always cherish the moments we had spent together. And I know that he is in a better place, and he is happy and healthy enjoying his fortune, driving that brand new car and living in a giant house with lots of servants that we sent (when we paid our respect), fishing in a giant lake and hooking up the biggest, most delicious fish. He, right now, is smiling down on us.

(Son, Al Lau)

We are all deeply touched by our beloved Father. The DVD named: "In Fond Memory Of Paul Ping Wing Lau" was produced to commemorate the proud legacy of his past 88 years in a condensed interval of 1 hour, 29 minutes and 26 seconds. Believe it or not! Dad had a lot of inputs before the final DVD was in full production. For example, the temporary/selected photo file amassed by Fanny and the final PowerDirector DVD file disappeared without a trace. We had to recompose from scratch which meant Dad would have to pre-approve certain selected photos or his favourite sound tracks. To reinforce his pre-approval, our all-in-one printer came on rattling away for more than ten seconds afterwards. If one were to look closely at the DVD time interval of 07 minutes and 07 seconds of the family photo marked with the green label # 36. The # 36 is part of dad's burial # 363. His suggested 649 #s were 27 and 34. 27 might mean the said time interval of 07 minutes and 07 seconds (2X7). 34 might mean 3 girls and 4 boys.

We are then safe to deduce or decipher that Dad wanted to convey a message of "His children and family are a mirror of his valuable character of an instrumental and daring pioneer, a visionary, a crossword wizard, a greatest fisherman of all times, and most importantly a caring husband and father. He would truly be honoured to see all of us living a meaningful life".

(Daughter-in-law, Fanny Chan Lau)

I sincerely apologize for the delay in submitting our sharing. This is not an excuse but I am experiencing excruciating pains and numbness. I’m sorry I had to take my time to type very slowly because my arms, shoulders and back cramp up, however, I do not want to miss the chance to pay tribute and respect to Dad.

I’m sorry my sharing in honouring Dad is lengthy. There’re many touching and inspiring memories of Dad that I couldn’t list them all, but hope to include some special ones that are truly dear to my heart in Dad’s honour.

Dad: When I first came to Canada, I worked in Ottawa. They gave me three choices to settle down, Ottawa, Winnipeg or Vancouver. Guess where I picked?

Me: I know, Vancouver! And because it’s warmer!

Dad: Huh, you’re so smart, how did you guess?

Me: I’m not the smart one, you are Ah Ba! You often said you were glad that you picked Vancouver and all your hard work was worthwhile

Dad:I did, have I mentioned this before? I’m so forgetful some times. Every time I think back, I’m glad I chose Vancouver because it’s warmer and a better place for our seven children.

Dad: You know Fanny, sometimes I wonder if I’ve done the right thing, working in Canada and being away for such long periods of time. It was only after I retired I gradually realized I don’t know how to communicate with my children, and we seemed very distant. I was always serious and strict. You know, I was very lonesome in Ottawa by myself but I was more worried about them in Hong Kong. I don’t say it but I was always worried that my children don’t know me and that’s why there was not much communication, it’s like this being Chinese. I know it’s not good but I think it’s too late to do anything now.

Me: Ah Ba, it’s never too late. I admire you, being father figure yet you are brave to admit and acknowledge there was lack of communication. But you are not alone; I think most Chinese families are the same. I know you can do it! You can change things! Ah Ba, you’re very wise! Most of all, you really care and love your children, they will know and feel it too. Once you take the first step, it gets easier.

Dad: I hope so too. I don’t really know how or what to do first but I will do my best. I know it’s very important to me. I was raised in an old-fashioned Chinese background and my parents never knew how and its generation after generation. I don’t want to be like that, just hope it’s not too late.

Dad was not only far sighted in choosing Vancouver due to warmer climate, he was always thinking of the welfare of Mom and their 7 children. Seemingly simple conversation but I sensed Dad’s sincerity in wanting to be closer to his children, to be able to relate and understand better. It was from these ‘simple’ conversations I learnt a new side of Dad. Evidently, all his gentle, kind and caring efforts were fruitful.

Dad really enjoyed outings with all his children. But of all, he was always on top of every little detail regarding Mom’s well-being and health especially. Besides his favourite dollar store, he made frequent trips to Zellers, not only for his prescription but also to stock up on various kinds of bandages for Mom’s use. He never failed to bring his shopping list and bandages were often top of the list. It might seem he often overstocked but Dad often said he rather overstock than to run out because Mom needed them! It was touching for me because as simple as bandages, Dad took it to heart and always patiently and carefully picked out various kinds just for Mom, to ease her discomfort. And whenever Dad saw new improved potentials or products, he would be quite excited to try out in hoping they would be beneficial to Mom. I really admire Dad’s genuine and unconditional love and caring for Mom, as with all his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Dad might seem old school, yet, he was very learned and often admired and appreciated new technology! He was often full of praises and shared positive vibes. At coffee, he often said he wished he could be computer literate because he could learn more new things, and perhaps could have more interactive topics to share with his children and grandchildren. To me, Dad was already all-rounded, very talented, and had the most beautiful and skilful handwriting, yet, he was always humble, attentive and willing to learn new things. Dad had always related to others in a healthy and positive manner.

Dad had the greatest sense of humour. He once told me he finally realized that in joking and talking silly at times really helped break the ice. He said he noticed people were more at ease and that helped improved communication. Dad also said he enjoyed seeing everyone smiling and laughing silly! Since then, he started to look out and memorized funny jokes and sayings to share or to quiz us. And as he noticed we were all very receptive to his sharing, he was so happy and proud that he started to cut out from newspaper, photocopy and stapled them in safekeeping!

I’m always amazed that Dad knows everything, literally! If and whenever at coffee or home visit we touched on any specific cool topic or knowledge of some kind, Dad never failed to follow up with a book to loan to me for fun reading! Just for fun and out of curiosity, I said to Dad, “You have all the books of knowledge but I would bet you don’t have a book about the richest men on earth! Dad said he’ll be right back and headed downstairs. In a flash, Dad came back and handed me a book titled the Richest Men in the World!” I was speechless… Dad had the most content smile and chuckles. Dad was the best!

I was often stuck with Chinese characters I couldn’t pronounce or hard to find, Dad again never failed to enlighten me! Dad often lit up whenever we chat about Chinese proverbs or old Chinese songs. If he found something neat in relation to what I was learning, he would take the time to highlight the pages and gave me a copy to keep. He was not only generous in treating meals, he was most generous in taking time to really care and help.

Dad was not merely my father-in-law. As we shared many insights and heart to heart from time to time, I’ve grown to admire, respect and love him like my own father. Before I went to Singapore for treatments, Dad and I had a long chat. In confiding, I shared my inner feelings and thoughts. Since my back injury in year 2000, I always felt I was a big burden to Al and Quisha. I had confided in Dad that I was very sad and felt guilty leaving them behind. Dad was always a good listener. He comforted me and gave me positive strengths and encouragements. He said don’t be silly, not to worry and take the time to heal. Dad said he understood what I was feeling and the stress in having to part with immediate family. At the time in Singapore, I was very lonesome, sad and discouraged about the results of my treatments. One day, Mavis came to visit me in Singapore and she was so kind to bring me a card from Dad! I’ve never opened a card from anyone who could make me cry and this card brought thick tears to my eyes. It was beautifully written in Chinese that said, “Dearest Daughter-in-law Fanny, we miss you. We hope you are well and healthy, and in English, love, parents”. It may be a short and simple card but it meant the world to me. I felt the warmth of a parent’s love and caring. The kind and loving gesture had given me new hope and strengths, more than words can express. I re-read Dad’s card many times and placed it by my bed from thereon.

At Dad’s big 80th, same of which I regrettably had to miss while in Singapore, I phoned Dad to wish him Happy Birthday, he told me he was very happy to see everyone celebrating his birthday with him, and before I asked, he said he was wearing the bright red Chinese outfit we’d bought for him, he said he liked it very much. Before we said goodbye, he said he wished I could be there too. I really truly appreciated Dad’s compassion and affection. His kind words and most of all his thoughtfulness always made a difference for me. Even though I’m only a daughter-in-law, he always made sure I never felt any less of a daughter, if anything, he always cared so much. Dad even thanked me for marrying Al. At first I thought it was comical then a bit awkward but after understanding Dad’s point of view, I started to appreciate parents’ genuine and unconditional love for all their children. Dad said he and Mom had been worried about Al, being single and too quiet. Dad said Al may be quiet but he had the biggest heart. Dad said Al was starting to come around and more expressive. He said that was a good sign.

It’s crucial for me to share this, not because I am special, but most importantly, it is all about Dad. Even though he was a father, elderly figure, he was very respectful and open-minded. Dad said he felt it was important to let me know how he and Mom felt because they wanted us to live in harmony despite our differences and circumstance. Dad also said it was a new beginning to open communication. Chinese people were mostly old fashioned but he understood that the world is evolving. We all should learn to adapt, just like he was starting to learn how to interact with his children and grandchildren on a gradual basis. Dad had never once made me feel like an outsider. I always felt I could talk to Dad and share anything with him. He was not only a most respectable lovable father; he was the greatest inspiration and most exquisite mentor! I’m forever grateful. Dad, you have my utmost respect and I miss you so much.

It was Dad who inspired me to start decorating cards with stickers. When I was admiring the neat stickers on his kitchen calendar, I expressed my admiration to Dad and he said the stickers made him smile and feel light. He said he was enjoying the fun in posting these cute stickers. There’s another new ‘kid’ side I learnt about Dad. This has given me a new inspiration, to enjoy what I do and to do it with heart. I then started to decorate our cards with stickers. Dad was delighted and very supportive! He was always very encouraging and so kind of him to tell me he kept all our decorated cards. At times when we were out with parents and stopped at a dollar store, Dad would secretly buy some stickers to add to my collections. I felt bad he had to spend too but Dad said he just wanted to help out now and then because they could add up. Dad was always very kind, appreciative and genuine. He often said he really appreciate that I decorated cards for other Lau family members too. It was very sweet of him to say and it warmed my heart because he cared so much. It was truly my honour.

About a month or so before Dad got really sick with rash, he phoned and we chatted. Dad was very caring and concerned about us. He asked if we were okay and how things were since the bursting of pipes and stressful basement flooding, etc. I told Dad it was progressing slow but well and that we are okay. Dad said he just wanted us to know that we are not alone and if we need help, we must call him. Dad also offered for us to take showers at his place if need be. Dad was always caring and supportive throughout. When I heard his gentle caring voice, I was very touched and grateful to know we have family we count on. Dad’s kind words and caring thoughts meant so much and we are very fortunate to have parents who care and love us no matter what. I apologized to Dad for not being able to celebrate his 88th birthday with him and not being able to decorate any cards this year due to my failing health. Dad said he understood and that those were minor things. He said he knew we cared and loved them. Dad often said he was getting weak and felt useless, but he was very thankful to all his children for being so caring. Before Dad hung up, he said, “Fanny, don’t feel bad, I know how you feel and what you are going through because I’m going through the same thing as you.” He said he didn’t really understand my pains and numbness until now. Even when Dad was feeling down and frail, he still did his best to make a real difference in someone’s life. Dad was always giving out hopes and positive strengths. His continuous love and caring, special understanding and support warmed our hearts.

Last but not least, there’s another sentimental sharing. There was one year Al and I had celebrated all the birthdays of our local siblings at our house. Dad was very happy and really enjoyed all the celebrations. That very year at Christmas, we again gathered at our house. Dad was so excited he approached me and said he would like to add some highlights for the evening. He secretly gave me 5/$20 bills and asked me to include them in my games and door prize draws! That moment, the ‘WOW’ I felt was not because of Dad’s cash prize contribution, but it was the big glow in his eyes, the big sneaky smile and his bubbly body language that impressed and touched me deeply. Before he disappeared in hiding, he said he couldn’t wait to see the lucky 5 winning cash prize winners! He told me not to expose him but I couldn’t resist. Everyone was excited, cheering and thanking Dad. By loving his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, Dad was always selfless and gone the extra mile in support. At the end of the party, I thanked Dad for his generous contribution and thoughtful gesture. He thanked me instead. While I reminisce about Dad, my train of thoughts kept pouring in, sadly, I have to stop here. Dad, you are missed by all of us and we love you more than words can say.

(Granddaughter, Quisha Girard Lau)

I remember moving to Vancouver and always feeling like a misfit in the family as I was not 'blood'. As I got older, I gained the support, affection and confidence of my family, but no one made me feel more at home and comfortable than Gong. I would always leave for alternating summers and Christmases to visit family in Ontario. In 1998 when I was headed for my annual trip, Gong presented me with a farewell gift. He had used two sheets of pink construction paper, white school glue and thick squared sparkles and made me two messages. With his perfect handwriting using the glue Gong wrote in Chinese, "safe trip" and on the other sheet "Dear Quisha, have fun!" Not only did he sprinkle sparkles nice and thickly to the writing, but Gong used a clear plastic covering on both, rolled them and presented them to me as two scrolls with ribbon. I came across these rolled up scrolls two years ago and thought that I should ensure it lasts forever...so I bought two frames and placed them inside, went to visit Gong Gong and Por Por and showed him the art he had once made for me. His smile reached from ear to ear once he remembered his once so artfully creative ways and said, "Wow, I should have sold my art for money!" with his adorable chuckle.

Gong taught me to be meticulous by his attention to details, he taught me to be easily contented by small things in life by sharing the joys and falls of Bingo scratch tickets. Not only did Gong teach me these nurturing and responsible traits, but he also threw in a little bit of backbone...yes, from all the car rides around Vancouver, Gong taught me my key Cantonese words...you guessed it, all those great 'praises' to others in the world who drive as if they're blind behind the wheel!

Gong may not be with us in person, but I know that he's already sitting down with my other Grandpa and having all-nighter MJ fun! I am proud to have had such an amazing gentleman in my life, and I love him for always accepting me for who I am, regardless of a bloodline.

(Daughter-in-law, Cathy Ye, Wife of Peter Lau)

Dear father, we are deeply saddened and grieve over your sudden departure from us. But I believe you have not gone far and from where you are, you would continue to look after and protect your life-long partner, our mother and love dearly your children and their descendants.

I am fortunate enough to have gone on a couple of cruises with father and mother. On the cruise ship, in our conversations, I found out that father was both intelligent and full of humour. From Chinese old literature, select words and phrases of the Chinese novel “The Red Chamber”, current events, financial management, the understanding and use of Chinese herbs to cooking, he had his own extraordinary interpretation. He opened my eyes and awed me. He was really an encyclopaedia. Father never stopped learning. He was knowledgeable about the past and the present.

Father loved solving crossword puzzles. Mother would sit quietly beside him. Once in a while, she would bring him a cup of tea. They were so dear to each other. I really envied them. As the saying goes, hold hands tenderly and grow old together. Peter and I used to live downstairs. Often, we saw father manicure mother’s toe nails. Wearing his presbyopic glasses, he would first bathe mother’s feet in a basin of hot water. He would then trim the nails and smooth them. When eating at home, we often saw father pick the bones from a fish before giving the flesh to mother. If they were eating a steak, father would cut mother’s steak into pieces for her. He cared and looked after her. I often say their sons, the Lau brothers, are good to their spouses because they inherited father’s genes.

Father was a keen stamp collector and showed his collection to me many a time and said he would trade extra stamps with me. Regrettably, we never did.

Father was simple and honourable. He worked hard to support his family. All his children are now established with descendants, four generations being together.

He was a kind-hearted elder and lovable senior citizen. He was a good teacher and friend. He knew how to well care and look after his children. If they ran into difficulty in their daily life and asked for help, he would do all he could to help. He was willing to do trivial things for us. He would not hold back. He did not feel it was bother and would not willingly receive any return/reward.

Father lived a full and wonderful life. His passing leaves a void in our lives, one that is hard to describe. Father, have a good journey.

(Son, Peter Lau)

Our father was a loving, honest, generous and gracious man.

His generosity was not only to his immediate family, but also extended to other relatives and friends, even strangers. I remember in those early days when we were settling in Vancouver, we were not well off but he and Mom always took in visitors from abroad for a temporary stay. One example of father's generosity and caring of others was in 1970 he took in a virtual stranger to our already crowded home on Main Street. Greg was a former Hong Kong classmate of our brother Ron’s. He was abandoned by his relatives and was living on his own, having a tough time surviving and finishing his last year of study at BCIT. He lived with us for nearly a year until his untimely death, just the day after his last exam. I remember clearly that the night before he passed away, he had a long conversation with me, lecturing me about life in general. He also told me that he was very grateful that our parents took him in or he would have had to quit school. It is a life lesson of kindness and generosity from Dad that I will remember as long as I live.

I am very grateful for Dad's support and caring of me after the passing of my wife Jennifer in 1997. One day in early 1998, he asked me if I could accompany him and Mom to Beijing to meet up with Uncle Gabe, who was working at the Canadian Embassy. He said he needed someone to take care of them. During that trip, I realized that it was his way of helping me through the difficult time. He was always there ready to help whenever we needed him.

I am glad that parents went on the cruises with me, Cathy and her parents. Now, both fathers have passed on, but memories of the great time we had still lingers on.

The night father passed away, I went into my former bedroom and noticed a stack of my photo albums had been neatly organized and labeled by Dad. I suddenly felt very sad and realized that Dad is gone forever. Only fond memories of him will be forever treasured by me, my family and all the people he had touched during his life time.

Dad: we shall meet someday, somewhere again.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ping Wing Lau, passed away January 6, 2013 at the age of 88 years. Visitation for family and friends will be held at Glenhaven Memorial Chapel, 1835 East Hastings Street, Vancouver, BC on Friday, January 11, 2013 from 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm, where a Funeral service will be held on Saturday, January 12, 2013 at 12:30 pm. Burial will follow at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, 3789 Royal Oak Ave. Burnaby, BC. Arrangements entrusted to Glenhaven Memorial Chapel, Vancouver, BC. 604.255.5444. Winston Wan, Funeral Director.