Marjorie Joy Gray

A woman loved by too many people to count, Marjorie passed away on the evening of January 9 from heart failure. She was a woman of great warmth who lived a life marked by quiet strength, generosity, and the ability to respond in every situation with empathy, grace, and kindness. She was the heart of the Gray family.

Marj was a devoted wife to Peter for almost 62 years, the beloved mother of John and Robert, cherished mother-in-law to Allison and Meriem, and incredibly proud grandma to Zoe. She is also survived by Joan Ramsey, her sister in every way that mattered for more than 70 years, and Joan’s daughters Lynn and Kathy, and the entire Darby clan, in particular her goddaughter, Jennifer. The congregation of Cordova Bay United Church where she worshipped is among those mourning, as is the volunteer gardening team at Government House Gardens where she volunteered for 20 years, her book club of decades, and a wide circle of lifelong friends from British Columbia to Prince Edward Island.

Born in Saskatchewan but raised on PEI, Marj came as close to being an Islander as someone “from away” ever could. In Summerside, she met a handsome airman at the Tartan restaurant, marrying Peter in 1964 and honeymooning “Up west,” travelling as far as their budget could support, the whole trip less than the cost of a diner breakfast. It was the beginning of six decades of mutual devotion and adventure. Theirs is a true love story; it is impossible to think of one without the other.

If you had Marj as a friend, you were very lucky indeed. She was fiercely loyal, as steadfast and true a person as ever existed in this world, a creator of deep and lasting connections. Every December, she eschewed Christmas cards in favour of phone calls, making at least 50 to those she loved. She sent prayer shawls from the church to friends and friends of friends who were struggling and afraid. She was a trusted confidant, an active listener; if you were looking for insight and understanding, she had that. She was a woman of few words, and somehow, they were always the right ones.

Valedictorian of her high school class, Marj graduated from Acadia University with a degree in education and became a gifted ESL teacher. In retirement she found joy in gardening at Government House and in travelling to the many places her family lived and worked. Whether visiting Rob and Meriem in Uzbekistan, Laos, Myanmar, and Washington, D.C., or to Toronto to see the Vales, or through northern B.C. to see the Gray siblings, or leading the annual family summer pilgrimage to PEI – an event every generation of Grays looks forward to with great anticipation – throughout her 60s, 70s and 80s, she was always up for a road trip.

Marj was modest to the core; she delighted in and championed the achievements, interests, and journeys of others, rarely speaking of her own accomplishments. But she was always a “Wow”, unfailingly the best dressed of anyone in the room, terribly stylish with her long legs and signature vests and beautifully chosen jewelry. She was an avid reader, a lifelong journaler, and a lover of colour—especially yellow. She loved wildflowers and lupins and sunflowers. She made

legendary birthday cakes, biscuits, pastry, Nanaimo bars, Yorkshire pudding, Bits and Bites, and Christmas cake. She cherished games of rummy with Zoe, her daily walks with Peter for coffee, and sharing a beer with John. She was resilient. She was smart and meticulous and fastidious; she had an eagle-eye for grammar. She kept company well.

To Marj, family mattered most in the world. Whether blood family or family by choice, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for any of us. It was difficult to buy her anything or ask her what she wanted to do to celebrate a birthday, because she’d answer that she wanted nothing more than having her whole family together. We are crushed that we can’t have that again, but we are overwhelmed with gratitude for the time we shared. We are all infinitely richer for having had her in our lives. We will try to carry forward her legacy of love.

God speed, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, gardener, and good, good friend. You will be deeply missed and forever remembered.

A memorial service will be held on Saturday, January 17, at 2 p.m. PST, at the Cordova Bay United Church, 813 Claremont Avenue, Victoria.

To view a livestream of the service, please go to cbunited.ca; to place online condolences, please go to https://everloved.com/life-of/marjoriegray/. For those who wish, donations in memory of Marjorie can be made to the Victoria Youth Orchestra, the Cordova Bay United Church, or Osteoporosis Canada. A celebration of life will take place in PEI this summer.