Patricia Pat May Cornthwaite Bonshor

When Patricia May Bonshor walked into the room, those in her company felt warmth, energy, and enthusiasm for life. This was just one example of who Pat was and how she impacted those around her. Pat was a funny and gregarious person who always sought out the humour and humanity in other people. It was as if Pat wanted to share their joys, their interests, and celebrate their discoveries. Pat was a "giver" and had optimism and good humour that would serve her well throughout her life.

Patricia May was the daughter of Gladys Wilkinson and Jack Cornthwaite. Born on February 20, 1937 in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Pat was raised in Esquimalt, BC. As a young girl, Pat was able to empathize and identify with a vast array of people and personality types. This quality drew her into a diverse group of friends and acquaintances. Pat was kind and had little trouble getting along with her peers. Although a bit shy as a child, she was always willing jump in when it came to playing games or participating in other childhood activities. She was a brownie and a girl guide throughout her childhood, graduating to became a guide leader as she got older. In her spare time she loved to play with her best childhood friend, her toy terrier Suzie. Pat's memorable achievements included being crowned Princess of the Esquimalt May Day Parade. And Pat made a friend in Grade 3, Vicky Jones, who knew her and her family until the very last days.

During her high school years, Pat was a good student, and generally did well in her courses, although she liked school best for it's opportunities to socialize. She graduated from Esquimalt High School in 1954. Classmates considered Pat a good listener, knowing that when necessary, they could go to her to discuss just about anything. Her favorite class in high school was art, at which she excelled. Pat's nickname in high school was "Corny", and she was known for her beautiful smile and her particularly shapely figure.

With a talent for making acquaintances easily which in turn brought her an endless stream of friends, Pat was very sweet and sociable and could blend without effort into any social group. Unassuming and open-minded, Pat was easy to know and demonstrated a deep concern for others. She always seemed aware of what was going on with people around her and throughout her life she made many, many friends. At around this time, Pat met Blyth Hughes at a community hall dance and thought he was handsome and smart. Their favorite song to dance to was "Marie". But she didn't just win a future husband with Blyth, she also became lifelong friends with Erla Hughes, Blyth's sister.

When Pat was 20, Blyth asked Pat's mother Gladys for permission to marry. Pat was thrilled. She and her Mom sewed her wedding dress themselves. On August 30, 1957, Pat and Blyth were married at St. Paul's Anglican Church in Esquimalt. Pat was tenderhearted and sensitive, qualities that served her well in helping to nurture her new family.

From 1958-1960, Pat and Blyth lived in Vancouver while Blyth attended UBC. In 1960, their first child, Daniel John was born. Here they made more lifelong friends, such as Ann and Bill Earl, and Maxine and Jack Raynor, friends Pat would keep throughout her life. They moved to Cambridge, England in 1961, with their young son, so Blyth could attend graduate school. Pat learned how to cook, made new friends, such Margot and Stewart Adelman, hosted family members coming to visit, and in 1963, they added a little girl, Niki, to their family.

in 1964 they settled back in Victoria. For Pat, parenting was a particularly enjoyable and pleasurable part of her life. Pat's skill at understanding her children's feelings, her sensitivity to their needs, and her creativity and sense of fun, meant memorable birthday parties and family events. In 1967 their third child, Megan was born. To round out the family experience, the Hughes' always had pets which Pat dearly loved. Pat's talent for naming cats ran to the exotic: there was Pushka and Pikininny, and Mishka, the cat who ate anything. Pat also had Casey, a little white kitten, and she encouraged the kids to care for their own pets, which ranged from gerbils, to turtles to birds. Pat spent many of her children's early years at group functions with her best friends and their children. Throughout these years, memorable holidays and trips were shared with Erla & Jim Baldwin and their daughters Corinne and Brenda, Judy & Ralph Nygaard and their two girls Sandy and Lori, Ann & Bill Earl and their kids Kelly-Ann, Cindy and Ryan, Heather & Jack Davis and their kids Quinn and Rhonda, Bev and Bob Pearce and their daughters Cathy and Dawn, and Maxine and Jack Raynor and their two boys Mike and Steve. Together with their friends and families, they spent many happy years.

Because Pat loved to be creative and had a natural artistic gift, throughout her adult life she mastered the art of painting. She started in oils with vibrant colour and texture, and moved to delicate watercolours as she progressed. She often painted with her lifelong friend Judy, finding inspiration, support and good conversation while they painted. Pat's talent won her praise, and she sold her pieces at artisan fairs, and painted by commission for friends and acquaintances. She continued to paint and amaze people with her talent throughout her life.

Pat and Blyth were active socially with their friends in the Fairfield United Church Couples Club and with neighbours from Richardson St. There was an endless stream of parties, progressive dinners, New Year's Eves, car rallies and dinners. Bev & Bob Pearce, Stewart & Carol Macintosh, Ray & Diane Owens, Judy & Ralph Nygaard, Joan & Toby Crossfield, Mike & Marjorie Bennett, and so many more dear friends were regulars in Pat and Blyth's home. It was a wonderful, social time for both of them.

In 1975 Pat, Blyth and family moved to San Diego, California, for one year, while Blyth was on sabbatical and doing research at Scripps Institution of Oceanography. It was an exciting time for the family, and Pat took full advantage of being in a different part of the world. She learned how to make excellent Mexican food, she took Spanish lessons, and enjoyed frequent exciting excursions across the border to Tijuana to buy Mexican treasures. She made friends with her neighbours, Michele and Ed White, and many friends and family came to visit. Pat was always gracious and energized to have them.

When her children were in school, Pat looked for opportunities to be productive outside the house, and took a part-time job at the Gonzales Pharmacy. As usual, her sunny nature won her lifelong friendships with Ed Rowley and her workmates there. She learned to "do the books" and remained there until 1981, when she decided to become a full-time working girl. Pat saw an ad for a position taking blood at the Jubilee Hospital and was excited to answer it. She went through training to learn how to take blood samples from patients in the hospital. She laughed and joked as she practiced taking juice from oranges by syringe, and finding veins in everyone she knew. She loved the job because, for her, it was the perfect combination of providing a vital technical service and a vital social one. She often told stories of the patients she would chat with as she took samples from them, and was frequently told she had the nicest "touch" of all the technicians.

Pat derived much satisfaction from participating in curling as well. Her fun-living approach, positive attitude, supportive nature helped her team to enjoy curling matches and Bonspiels. And a few hot toddies after the practices were nice too! She curled with friends from the Couples Club, as well as making new friends everywhere she went, like Loralee Hagar, and Mavis McMillan.

When her marriage to Blyth ended in her 50's, Pat embarked on a new chapter of her life, moving to her townhouse on Empire Street. She continued to work at the Jubilee, moving up to the position of processing samples in the lab. Here she met a dear friend, Joyce Ashforth, who would remain a close friend throughout her life. She spent quite a few years visiting friends, working, travelling and enjoying her home and family. In 1988 Niki married Andy Sedmak, who Pat affectionately called "Andrew Stuart", bestowing on him a special middle name because he didn't have one (all the while giggling at the initials!) With Andy came Jenna, the first of four grandchildren for Pat. Andy and Niki lived with Pat and her two cats Benji and Minki for a short time while they built their home in Sooke, and in 1990 her first grandson, Jordan, was born. A proud moment for Pat!

In this new part of her life, Pat wished for more music, dance, jokes and singing! In 1991 her wish came true when she met George Bonshor, a singer in a barbershop quartet. They danced, sang, partied and laughed with friends for many years together. In 1994 Pat celebrated the birth of her granddaughter Shannon, a beautiful little doll. A year later, Pat took on a toughest challenge of her life in her struggle with breast cancer. Her first bout, in 1995, led to an immediate mastectomy. Pat handled this very sudden blow with her usual grace and humour. She recovered and barely missed a step in the rhythm of her upbeat life. After being given a good prognosis, she decided to help others going through the same struggle. She volunteered with the same cancer agency she knew as a patient, and became an Outreach Volunteer, using her wisdom, experience and natural compassion to help women adjust to their own mastectomies. Her spirit of optimism and giving to others always triumphed over any adversity she faced.

She carried on caring for others for several years, and her second grandson, Jake was born in 2000. She loved spending time with her grandchildren, holding them as babies, being involved in their lives, picking them up from school, babysitting, taking them on special outings. She was kind and generous with time and energy and they brought her special happiness. In 2003, she and George "made it legal" and became regulars in the Dixieland Jazz scene, travelling to Jazz festivals throughout the Pacific Northwest, taking Jazz cruises and having regular Sunday Jazz dances at Herman's. Pat made new wonderful friends through this group, and enjoyed spending time for the rest of her life with Vel and Bill Galbraith, Irene and Bob Swails, Val and Roger Latreille, and sweet Georgia Brown. Even in retirement, Pat continued to play an important part in her family's life, to stay in touch with her old friends and like always, make plenty of new ones.

At this time Pat was struck with the news that her cancer had returned. She fought a tougher battle this time, choosing chemotherapy as treatment. Throughout this difficult ordeal, Pat did not complain, but continued to luncheon with friends and visit with family, despite illness and fatigue. Months later, upon receiving news that her cancer had stabilized, she treated herself and George to a jazz cruise and celebrated to the fullest!

Her final adversity came in 2006 when she and George were attending a Jazz Festival in Kamloops. She suffered a stroke and resided in Kamloops Hospital for 3 weeks before being transfered to her home hospital in Victoria. Family gathered around her in Kamloops and stayed with her until the transfer, a testimony to the love and attachment engendered by such a vibrant person.

Despite the extreme hardship of paralysis on her right side and loss of speech, Pat conquered even this by continuing to be as active as possible, to make friends and spend quality time with family. She taught herself to paint with her left hand, producing beautiful, intricate works of art. She encouraged visits with friends and family and she communicated warmth and humour even with her limited vocabulary.

In 2008 George passed away and it was necessary for Pat to move to the care of the Broadmead Lodge. She sold her home and, with typical determined optimism, literally never looked back. She focused on making friends and continuing with her artwork at the Broadmead art studio, winning prizes at the Saanich fair for her handiwork. Aided by the dedicated care of her daughter Niki, she continued to enjoy lunches and dinners out with family and friends, shopping at the Broadmead plaza for gifts and cards for people with her friends Bert and Vicky. She also looked forward to outings to Vancouver, to stay with her daughter Megan as often as her energy allowed. She kept up these simple but meaningful activities with gusto for as long as she could, until the time when she was physically unable to. Her spirit wished to continue going on painting, laughing with friends, loving her family and sharing jokes, but her body began to show, at last, that it was time to rest.

On July 25, 2012 Pat passed away peacefully with Megan by her side in her home at Broadmead Lodge. Pat fought a courageous and lengthy battle with cancer and stroke. She will be dearly missed by her children Dan, Niki and Megan, her son-in-law Andy, and her grandchildren, Jenna, Jordan, Shannon and Jake and every friend and loved one whose lives she touched.

There was a special style and warmth to Pat. She was a dynamic, expressive person who was forever finding joys and fun in the simple things in life. She had a gift for being compassionate, creative and witty, and for people who knew her, she was a joy to be around. While she could be wickedly funny, it seemed as if many looked to Pat for comfort, inspiration, wisdom and even courage.

Pat was always more than willing to share life’s experiences with her loved ones. And she wished for her loved ones to share their experiences of her at her final memorial. Services celebrating Pat will be held on Saturday September 8, 2012 at 2:00pm at First Memorial Funeral Home at 4725 Falaise Drive in Royal Oak. You can also honour her with a donation either to the BC Cancer Agency or the BC Heart and Stroke Foundation.

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Our beloved Mom, Grandma, and dear friend, Pat, passed away peacefully in her sleep with family at her side, on Wednesday, July 25, 2012 at her home at the Broadmead Lodge. She will be dearly missed by her three children Dan, Niki and Megan, her son-in-law Andy, and her four grandchildren Jenna, Shannon, Jordan and Jake. She was survived by her first husband Blyth, who was there for her in her last days, and predeceased by her second husband George with whom she celebrated life with music, dancing, laughter and travel.

She was so well loved by all who knew her for her zest for life, her wicked sense of humor, her warm compassionate nature, her kindness to everyone and her inspiring artistic talent. With her typical gusto, Pat transformed her lengthy struggle with cancer into volunteering to help other women with cancer as an outreach volunteer with the BC Cancer agency; and after suffering paralysis on her right side due to a stroke in 2006, and she switched to painting with her left hand and re-learned how to produce amazing and beautiful works of art. She was a gutsy, unstoppable lady!

Pat's joyous smile, grace and humor made her a remarkable and truly unique person who will be missed by all who knew her. Always ready to raise a glass in celebration of life, it is now our honour to raise a glass to her. Please share your funny and loving memories of our "great lady" Pat at her memorial service at First Memorial Funeral Services, 4725 Falaise Drive on September 8, 2012 at 2:00pm. To celebrate her courage in facing adversity and her gift for helping others, please make a donation in her honor to the BC Cancer agency or the BC Heart and Stroke Foundation.

Thank you to Dr. Bernstein and Dr. Woodburn, for their care and kindness, and a special thank you to the staff and residents at the Broadmead Lodge, for their genuine affection and enjoyment of Pat during her time with them, and for surrounding Pat with warmth, humour, and compassion in her final hours. She smiled with you until the last. Thank you.