Thomas Wong

You were a Husband,father,Gung Gung and great grandfather

Who always tried to give

Who made our world a better place

Just by what you did

You took care of others

You did all you could

If anyone needed help

You were there to lend a hand

You never asked for anything

Or wanted something in return

You were happy helping

And you truly always cared

We cannot thank-you enough

There are no words to say

To someone who always gave

And hardly ever took

Thank-you for all you did

For all the times you were by our side

To help support us...

To celebrate our successes

Thank-you for teaching us by your example

The value of hard work, good judgement, courage and integrity

The enjoyment and love of family

Thank-you for the sacrifices you made

To let us have the very best

And for the simple things

Like laughter,smiles and good times we shared

If we forgot to say or show you

Or express our gratitude for all the things you did

We thank-you now and hope you know

How much you meant to us

In laughter and in sorrow

In sunshine and through rain

We know you will be watching over us

Where ever you are

Although you are gone

Your memories will live on

In our hearts forever

We will love you always

Sherry and Barry

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Donna and I, over the past two weeks, in preparation for today, have been looking at lots of pictures of Gung Gung. Donna said Gung Gung loved having his picture taken and indeed, it seems that in almost all of the pictures he was smiling. And he had a most beautiful, peaceful and serenic smile. Gung Gung had lots to smile about and, by extension, we all have reason to smile when remembering Gung Gung. I would like to take a couple of minutes to talk about some of the things about Gung Gung that bring a smile to my face, how from my personal viewpoint he affected my life.

Over 40 years ago, I first crossed the threshold of the Wong family residence on Walnut Street. I had met Larry during first year law school at UVic in 1975 and I had soon wangled an invitation back to his “man cave”. What a revelation- a home full of nice people, noisy Mah Jong games in the basement laundry room, an enticing huge bottle of Galiano liquor on the ledge waiting to be drunk by a poor, thirsty university student and all of the paraphenalia of Larrys’ sideline hobby, making bookcases. I still have at least three of those bookcases at home. Interesting house and I thought to myself that Larry had it made.

Concurrently to all of this, my father was passing away at the too young age of 56 and I was lamenting his too early passing. He had struggled with various kinds of cancer for approximately the last 10 years of his life. So I was at a very trying point in my life.

Fast forward 40 years and here we are, mourning the physical passing of our beloved Gung Gung, but much more importantly, celebrating his life- a 96 year life so well spent, so loved and respected by his extended family, relatives and friends. A humble, hard working, loving man, so generous to all around him but still thrifty and aware of the value of a dollar, so resourceful to be able to raise a large family while holding down blue collar jobs, always doing something creative, solving problems to make things easier for others, making toys for his grandchildren, recognizing, remembering and rewarding the accomplishments of others, so generous with his time and resources. Practical, soft-spoken and sure, in his own way, of the correct path to take in life. An example and model for others to emulate, if wise enough to do so.

I feel so blessed to have known this wonderful man for over 40 years and, yet, I am still envious of those who had him in their lives for even longer. I have many memories, all positive, to cherish and after this period of grief at his physical passing has eased, my mental pictures will leave me with many smiles. For example, the time when I was just getting to know Donna a little better, and very unsure of myself and many of the family had gone for dinner, I believe at the old Peking House on Government Street, and at the end of the meal, Gung Gung in a touching and thoughtful gesture, gave me a large pair of chopsticks. That meant a lot to me. He was just so welcoming.

Another example-when Donna and I went to San Francisco with Gung Gung and Poh Poh, on the plane on the way down, Gung Gung was seated behind me in the window seat and he kept tapping me on the shoulder and passing me items from his meal tray. Again, I was touched- he was thinking of me and worried that I was going hungry. Donna later noted that I didn’t get the meat or dessert from his tray, that he did not like vegetables, but also that he didn’t like to see food go to waste. I was the creative solution to his dilemma. I chose to remember it as a touching and revealing gesture.

A third example-over the years, whenever we went out for a big meal, in a large group, Gung Gung would fight to get the bill and he would pass $50.00 bills to whomever was going to physically pay the bill-good for those of us after the air miles. Always so considerate. Seemingly small gestures, but large in the impression that they left.

It’s interesting that all of these memories relate to food and Gung Gung .I don’t know what to make of that. Perhaps it has something to do with Gung Gungs’ mother-Tai Tai. I recall that she too had a beautiful smile and was always encouraging me to eat too much.

Come to think of it, Gung Gung and food interacted in my life in another way. Long before I knew any of the Wong family members, probably the late 60s and early 70s, during my under graduate years at UVic, my friends and I would spend many evenings at the Ingy or Tally-Ho or Colony or Red Lion and then retire to Coffee Macs for late night, sobering burgers and fries. Little did I know that Gung Gung was working the day shift and that many of his children were also working there as dish washers and clearing tables ,etc . Gung Gung had introduced you all to the practical side of life. Alas, my acquaintances were limited to rough and tumble Frieda and the night shift workers. Although, I think you, Phil, mentioned that you had worked some night shifts bussing.

In another ironic twist and another thank you to Gung Gung’s Coffee Mac’s connections and the “fatherly” theme that I am belabouring here, my father was also a regular at Coffee Mac’s during the ‘60’s and ‘70’s, sometimes at night, setting a bad example for me, but more often on coffee or lunch breaks from his truck driving job working at Ideal Fuel, on Bridge Street, with Mohan Singh (another Coffee Mac’s regular). So again Gung Gung and Coffee Mac’s, thanks for the family smiles and memories.

In closing, can I mention that, for Gung Gung, even his passing was beautiful, in its’ own way. A 96 year old man, very healthy until his early nineties, blessing his family with the opportunity to say a final goodbye, knowing that he was surrounded by all of the loving family that cherished him so much.

Gung Gung had a chance to say goodbye, maybe not in specific words, but certainly in spirit. He didn’t suffer excessively over an extended period, all of his family was there at some point, resourcefully taking care of him, so that he could live his last days in the home that he loved. Talk about timing, none of us got that terrible middle of the night call.

Those of us left behind – rich in memories and thankful for all that he brought into our lives. He will always be missed but never forgotten.

Forty years ago, I was saying goodbye to my own fine father and I am just so thankful and appreciative that Gung Gung appeared in my life just as my own father was leaving my life. Not that I talked to Gung Gung that much about life issues – it just meant so much to me that he was so accepting and welcoming to me. He meant and means so much in my life – A fine, decent man who leaves me smiling. THANK YOU GUNG GUNG – may I now address you by the title that means the most to me – BA

Rest in peace. You deserve nothing less.

Doug

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Gung Gung (graveside reading by Helen)

Though we need to weep your loss,

You dwell in that safe place in our hearts

Where no storm or night or pain can reach you.

Your love was like the dawn

Brightening over our lives

Awakening beneath the dark

A further adventure of colour.

The sound of your voice

Found for us

A new music

That brightened everything.

Whatever you enfolded in your gaze

Quickened in the joy of its being;

You placed your smile like flowers

On the altar of our hearts.

Your mind always sparkled

With wonder at things.

Though our days here are brief,

Your spirit was alive, awake, complete.

We look towards each other no longer

From the old distance of our names;

Now you dwell inside the rhythm of our breaths,

As close to us as we are to ourselves.

Though we cannot see you with outward eyes,

We know our soul’s gaze is upon your face,

Smiling back at us from within everything

Enabling us to bring the best of who we are to life.

Let us not look for you only in memory,

Where we would grow lonely without you.

You would want us to find you in presence----

Beside us when beauty brightens,

When kindness glows

And music echoes eternal tones.

When roses brighten the earth,

Darkest winter has turned to spring;

May this sad grief --- flower with hope

In every heart that loves you.

May you continue to inspire us:

To enter each day with a generous heart.

To serve the call of courage and love

Until we see your kind face again

In that land where there is no more separation,

Where all the tears will be wiped from our mind,

And where we will never lose you again.

Good-bye dear father.

Adapted from: On the Death of the Beloved, To Bless the Space Between Us - Book of Blessings by John O’Donohue

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* * * * * * * * * *

Thomas Wong passed away peacefully at home on November 28, 2018. Lily Wong, his wife of 71 years, passed away peacefully on December 29, 2018 at Victoria General Hospital.

Thomas and Lily were proud parents of seven children. They were equally proud and delighted in being “Gung Gung” and “Poh Poh” to seventeen grandchildren. In 2017, they had the pleasure of welcoming their first great- grandchild.

Thomas is survived by his sister, Violet. They will be sadly missed by their children: Gary (Cec), Larry (Helen), Donna (Doug), Phil (Kaye), Diane, Barry (Sherry) and Maureen (Tim), grandchildren: Steve (Wanda), Chris (Rachel), Erin (Meghan), Lauren, Craig (Jen), Rachel (Jason), Sean, Janet (Ben), Murray (Karrie), Megan, Andrew, Vanessa, Sandra, Cameron (Michelle), Jordan (Jace), Ryan and Jason, great-grandson Owen and other extended family members.

Their quiet and supportive presence will be deeply missed. Their kindness, loyalty, dedication to family and work ethic leave a legacy that will be passed on for future generations.

Private family Celebrations of Life have been held. We thank all for their kind wishes, condolences and shared memories of our cherished father / Gung Gung and mother / Poh Poh.