When she smiled, you couldn’t help but smile too; when she hugged, your heart grew warmer; when she laughed, the moment was funnier; when she cared, you felt better; when she played, the games were more fun; when she teased, the banter was gentle; and when she sang, the song sounded sweeter. Though only 18, Vanessa C. Carbone, who died on December 3, 2016 from HLH, an aggressive immune disorder, brought 100 years worth of joy, intelligence, and love into the world.
She had a name, Vanessa Concetta, that her grandfather Nick delighted in saying melodically, and with a big grin. She enjoyed playing with her hair color, working at D&D Market, hanging with her siblings and cousins. She knew the joy of deep friendships. Her favorite color was purple. She played field hockey, acted in plays, and always looked forward to her girls only time with her Aunt Allison.
Cameras were her friend, and our hard-drives and cell phones and scapbooks and web pages are full of happy pictures. Save them, share them, and enjoy them.
Vanessa was about to graduate from Wethersfield High School, and was thinking about college and finding happiness in building a life doing good works. She wanted to give. Her immediate future plans included working two jobs, buying a car, all while saving money to do a mission trip to work with kids in need. Her long term plan was to become a nurse, to make a career of working with children in need in third world countries. She had a great big life to live. Her friends and family were all looking forward to being happy for, and proud of, her. Now we can only imagine what might have been.
And the gift of her having been in our lives is that we will imagine. Each day there will be something to make us imagine what Vanessa might say or do were she beside us. We will long to hear her laugh, feel her hug, know her dreams, see her smile, or tell her our news. We will be glad for that longing because it will remind us she is always in our hearts.
When Vanessa was two, her five year old brother, Jordan C. Carbone, died suddenly; when she was ten, she lost just as suddenly her mother Alaine Clark Carbone, 41, and lost too the unborn brother Alaine was carrying. Vanessa loved her mother dearly, thought of her everyday. And so though she was taken just as tragically, we find comfort in the thought of Vanessa being again in her mother’s arms, with her brothers beside her. She is also reunited with her grandparents, Nicholas R. and Barbara G. Carbone.
As she joins those who have gone before, she leaves lasting memories for her surviving family: Her father, Matthew Carbone of Wethersfield; her brother Tyler; her sister Martina; and the young man she happily called her baby brother, Kyle Flynn, as well as Abigail Flynn, Kyle’s mother, who became a mother figure and close friend to Vanessa. She will be dearly missed by her maternal grandparents, Sue and Steve Clark of Glastonbury, and her uncles and aunts: Allison and Angelo Carpino of Wethersfield; Nick and Barbara Carbone of Canton, MA; Michael Carbone of Hamden; Tom and Caitlin Carbone of Glastonbury; Carl and Christina Carbone of Wethersfield; and Barbara Carbone and Don Danmeier of San Francisco. She leaves 13 cousins who laughed with her, and who will continue to laugh when they tell stories about her.
A Mass to celebrate Vanessa’s life will be held on Saturday, December 10th at 11 AM at The Church of the Incarnation, 544 Prospect Street, Wethersfield, CT 06109. The family asks all who attend to sport some purple, and to have fun wearing it.
In lieu of flowers, her aunts and uncles, in conjunction with Cherish the Children have set up medical care fund to help her family with the expenses from her fight against HLH. Tax deductible contributions can be sent in Vanessa’s name to The Cherish the Children Foundation, P.O. Box 128, Glastonbury, CT. 06033. Or you can visit www.remembervanessa.org to make a donation online. The D’Esopo Funeral Chapel is assisting the family with the arrangements. Please share your favorite memories of Vanessa by visiting www.desopo.com.
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