I am so sorry to hear about Mr. Obereiner's passing. I have such fond memories of him as he treated me as one of his own family for so many years. He was a lovely family man. Sending love.

Dad's four grandsons would like to read one of dad's favorite poems.  It's by Rudyard Kipling.  It's about being your own person and having the courage and confidence to stand by your convictions.  About accepting responsibility for your actions and having faith in yourself.  It's about what it means to be a man with strong character and integrity…it's called IF

Good afternoon everyone.  My name is Jim Obereiner and thank you for being here to celebrate the life of my father.  This is truly a celebration of an incredible life.  There are so many remarkable and fascinating things that could be said about dad, we could very easily spend the rest of the afternoon here.  But that's certainly not what he would want us to do.  Dad was a very humble man in many ways and he clearly preferred action over any prolonged reflection.  

Dad was a true leader, with plenty of guts and conviction.  He took bold stances on things that he believed in, and would work as hard as any man getting things done.  Although often times he was a man of few words, he clearly didn't lack thought, or interest, or passion, or caring.  To me, he lead most often by example, and his actions were clear and true.  

Over the past few months I have gained a much better understanding and appreciation of what dad did in his professional life and it has left me quite frankly in astonishment.  The number of people that he touched and influenced in a positive way is unbelievable.  While we were going through some of dad's stuff last month, we came across an old letter from a bank customer that obviously was important to him.  The letter was from a gentleman by the name of Gustav Dallas, who apparently owned a company in Chicago that specialized in demolition work and rubbish removal.  The letter begins:

Sir:

I understand that your bank has been sold and I do not know what your future plans are.

In the event that you leave the Bank of Ravenswood, I wanted to express my thanks to you, for all the times you stuck your neck out for me in the past.  I have not forgotten the favors you have done for me.

The reason I am writing you a short note of appreciation is because if or when in the future I can be of service to you in anyway, please do not hesitate to call me.

I am sure dad received many such notes of thanks for all the times he put his faith in other people, and through that trust, was able to help them succeed.   

Dad's work ethic and desire to constantly improve everything around him and help others was never ending.  As a kid, I have to admit there were times when you wish you could slow him down or get him to put off a new task until another day.  I vividly remember one Sunday in particular in 1979, the day after one of the biggest blizzards in Chicago history.  A lot of you probably recall we had about 2-feet of snow from the storm, on top of another 10 inches or so from a week before.  But the most significant challenge that day was really the artic blast that dropped in behind the storm.  I think the temperature was minus 20, and there was a strong wind.  

But Sundays were often a day of work around the house, at least portions of the day - and on this particular Sunday, one of the tasks on dad's list was to take down the Christmas lights on the outside of the house. When he told me what we were going to do, I can remember thinking to myself – are you kidding…you want to do this today??  Of course he wasn't kidding, and off we went with ladders in hand trudging through the snow.  It was brutally cold, stinging to face, and very difficult to maneuver - but we got the job done.   And in fact we probably got it done faster than we ever had before.   

Dad's work ethic and desire to improve things around him were there to the very end.  I remember the last time we went outside together, a couple weeks before he passed away.  We got him out in the back yard in his wheelchair, down the walkway and turned him back around to face the sun and look at the house.

I pulled up a chair, along with Teresa, and we were relaxing for a few moments.  But as he was gazing back at the house, I could see the wheels turning in his head.  Something wasn't right.  He had noticed some evergreen shrubs along the entryway to the house that were a little over-grown.  He said – Jim, lets take care of that - and so we did.  And he was exactly right, they were in need of hedging.        

With dad, basic principles of honestly, trust, and keeping to your word were a must.  He wanted straight answers, regardless of the question, or what “terrible things” we might have done as kids.  Looking back now, I think the question itself and the incident that it might be addressing was really quite secondary.  With dad the truth itself was everything, and as long as I spoke the truth with him, I never really felt I was in trouble.  He understood the common mistakes that any young person could make, and as long as you acknowledged responsibility and learned from it, we were on the right track. 

Dad wasn't one to force anyone to do anything, although he was very persuasive at times.  But if you said you were going to do something, you damn well better do it.  And if you said you weren't going to do something, you better not do it.  I learned this lesson at a very young age at Paw Paw Lake over a candy bar.  I know my brother John remembers – he was little older and wiser.  Dad took us to the store one morning, and John and I were able to convince him to buy each of us a candy bar.  But, there was one very important condition that we all agreed to – we were not to eat the candy bars until after breakfast. 

Well, I failed this test.  I remember sneaking some bites in on the candy bar in the back of the car trying to hide behind the seat, with my brother John looking at me, shaking his head and whispering  – what the heck are you doing?  Of course by the time we got back to the cottage, dad also knew what I had done. And he addressed it.  I don't remember exactly what the punishment was and I don't really recall any physical pain.  But whatever it was he said to me, I remember having a profound feeling of terrible guilt because I broke my promise and let my father down.  I can honestly say that I never broke my word with dad ever again.    

I think most of us would agree that dad was not a real touchy-feely kind of guy - probably a trait very characteristic of the Greatest Generation.  But that doesn't mean that he didn't care deeply and that he wasn't thinking about others often.  Dad was an extremely generous man - sharing his time, his knowledge, his experience, and the fruits from his very successful career.  He clearly wanted all of his kids and grandkids to excel in whatever it was they were doing, and he would help in any way possible.  But I think the most important thing to dad, above all else, was knowing that he had been successful in instilling good character traits in all of us, and knowing that the same qualities were being passed on to our children.

During the last few months of dad's life, when we all spent as much time as possible with him, he was very thankful for the help that we were able to provide him.  I found this somewhat ironic considering all that he had done for us.  I want to close by simply saying - THANK YOU DAD for being such a positive force in all of our lives.  I am extremely proud and forever grateful to be your son.


James M. Obereiner
July 30, 2012

Thank you all for coming to celebrate the life of our father.  As we all likely know, dad was a spirited and determined man with strong opinions and convictions and he wasn't afraid to express them.   He was the classic type A personality and had most of the characteristics that go with that.  He could be a bit impatient, a little overbearing at times and he wasn't the world's best communicator.  I think he would agree that he could occasionally be challenging, demanding and stubborn, that was part of who he was.  But there were many aspects to dad's personality, and when you rolled them all together you had a man who ultimately influenced the lives of many people in a very positive and profound way.  Dad had a very strong desire to see people succeed and the eagerness to help them do it.  It's not surprising he was successful in the banking profession, it fit his personality perfectly and he enjoyed it.  Success, though, wasn't strictly in business terms.  When it came to his family, success was watching us improve in the activities we were engaged in and watching us learn new things… and he was always exposing us to new and different things, like the time he tried to teach Jill and I how to play Bridge while sitting in the Wrigley Field bleachers during a Cub's game or the times he'd take us to the Chicago Symphony with he and mom.  He would also take great interest and stay active in our lives whether it was sports, hobbies, family vacations or our careers.  Dad was extremely generous and supportive of his entire family, always providing encouragement and motivation to better ourselves, expand our horizons and tackle new challenges.

I remember Jill and I having dinner with dad one night and I mentioned that I was offered an opportunity for a position in LA.  I remember his immediate, though extremely brief look of sadness and disappointment at the thought of us leaving.  We were doing a lot together at that time and he was on his own after mom passed, but within a split second he changed his expression to enthusiasm and he began explaining what a great opportunity it was, how pleased he was for us and how great it would be to visit us along with Jim's and Lori's family out in California.  I know deep down he was saddened about the prospect of our leaving the area, but there was no way he was going to show that - or anything but - his full support for us.  That's how he was  He was all about encouragement, instilling confidence and doing whatever he could to help people achieve more.

I think if you had to pick one trait to best describe dad it would be tenacity.  Whether it was building a bank, building a beer can collection or a backyard greenhouse, it didn't matter; he was going to put everything he had into it, stick with it and build it better than anyone else could.  He was immensely ambitious, competitive and hard working whether it was on the job or on the tennis or handball court; he was always pushing to make the most of his time.  That's why mom always referred to him as the Energizer bunny…he just kept going and going in true type A fashion. 

His hard work and tenacity paid off and he achieved some remarkable things in his career for a man with a high school education and some banking courses, progressing from one time fry cook and cab driver to bank president and highly respected businessman.  Despite his professional success, however, dad remained an extremely humble and modest man, never flashing arrogance or calling attention to his achievements or stature.  I remember when we went to Marcia Budney's funeral and to a brunch after the service.  We sat next to some people we didn't know and dad had a great conversation with the guy next to him.  Towards the end of the brunch the guy was obviously impressed with dad's business acumen and asked what dad did prior to retirement.  Dad replied simply that he was in banking and the man asked what position he had.  I remember how impressed I was when dad said that he held all kinds of different bank jobs over the years including sweeping floors and empting trash cans.  He just left it at that. At a time in one's life when it would have been natural and acceptable to boast a little about your achievements, especially in light of your humble beginnings, dad left this man wondering if he wasn't, perhaps, a bank janitor.  It wasn't in his nature to be flashy which was evident in his preference for flee market and garage sale shopping.

Dad never really showed any lack of confidence, although he told me once, when I went to him for career advice, that he had some challenging times during his career when he felt overwhelmed…as if it were him against the world and he wondered if he was doing the right thing.  He said during those times he would step back, let it go and approach the situation the next day with a clear head and a fresh perspective.  It was that self-confidence, I think, that drove him to continually try new things, like participating in Cub's Camp in Scottsdale and playing ball with Hall of Famers like Ernie Banks, Ron Santo and Fergie Jenkins.  And ranching…what drives a man who's lived his whole life in the city and who's only experience with cattle is from Don Roth's Steakhouse, to venture into ranching?  I think it was just an interest in the lifestyle, the challenge of raising cattle in the desert without grass and the confidence he could do it.  Even in recent years, dad was highly motivated to learn new things and spent time on his computer scanning and archiving 100 years of family photos, he took painting lessons and painted Annabel a portrait of a pig for her room, he intensely researched football player stats so he could beat his friends at the Valley Lodge in Fantasy Football.  Dad had the confidence to believe he could do anything he wanted to do and the wisdom to realize he should keep his wants within reason.

The one characteristic that impressed me the most about dad was his strength and will to persevere.  The way he carried on after mom passed and pick up right where she left off with sending birthday cards, anniversary cards even Halloween cards.  The way he established a network of friends at the Valley Lodge for companionship, the way he cared for and protected his brother Bill.  Dad stepped up in a big way after mom died and took on the added role of mother and caregiver.  And he did this while battling his own health problems.  Twice he fought cancer and won through his undeniable strength, perseverance and optimism.  He quickly bounced back from a mild stroke and was back traveling around the country visiting his kids and grandkids, even traveling to Turkey with Karen and later to Poland.  I remember being in his hospital room after his most recent lung cancer surgery and meeting with the surgeon who explained that he would probably have to go through radiation treatment once he recovered from the procedure, dad, optimistic as always and seemingly unphased by the unpleasant news, said he felt pretty good and thought he could start the following week.  Granted, some of that might have been the painkillers talking, but his optimism was a constant throughout his life, his glass was always half full and he could always see the positive side of a seemingly bad situation and the positive characteristics of the people he met.

When you live your life like dad did…passionately, eager to try different things, active and involved in the lives of others, routinely challenging the status quo and occasionally taking chances to help people succeed, there are so many stories that could be told!  Stories about his service to our country, his accomplishments and innovative thinking, the different ways he's impacted people's lives through his generosity and desire to help them expand their knowledge and realize their potential.  Stories about the values he's instilled in us through his example, leadership and convictions, but suffice it to say that above all he was a caring, courageous and giving man and an excellent friend, brother, father, father-in-law and grandfather whom I will always love and immensely admire.  Dad put a lot into his life and he got a lot out of it.  I believe he would tell us his life was fulfilling, that he made the most of his time here on earth and is proud of what he leaves behind.  I also think dad, being the pragmatist that he was, would agree with the poet Robert Frost who said “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life:        it goes on.”   Thank you dad for all you have done for us!


John R. Obereiner
July 30, 2012

By Allan Pallente:

John M Obereiner 
  A Man Of Faith

Faith is said to be a belief in something that cannot be seen or scientifically proven. To most people, the word faith connotes faith in religious beliefs.  It assumes an unwavering commitment to principles and established beliefs.   It is often a long term, or lifetime dedication, and usually affects a person's thoughts, actions and deeds, even if it means personal sacrifices.

When a person is engaged in the business world, the question of their religious faith rarely is discussed, as it seems incongruous with associated business activities and runs afoul of the expected separation of religion from business decisions.  Yet many business decisions are based in some type of faith. 

A different, yet similar to religious faith, is faith in things, or people that likewise cannot be proven or even scientifically projected.  Faith that something can, or will happen.   Some people refer to this as â€œblind faithâ€.  It is not so dissimilar to religious faith and often seems to take the place of, or significantly substitutes for, perhaps an active or deep involvement in religious faith.

Faith is empowering to the recipient. When faith placed in someone by someone they respect, they are empowered and immediately levitated to a position of dedication to accomplish. Such faith can indeed be more empowering than faith in self. 

John Obereiner had a deep commitment to faith in people and businesses; to the hopes and dreams of others. Through that faith in people, John was directly responsible for the advancement and success of thousands of employee's. This took the form of employment, education and advancement opportunities    and career achievements, and his support to overcome seemingly impossible odds to achieve success. 

From the high school dropout rock and roll singer, who through John's faith, encouragement and support, progressed to a masters degree level education and senior bank executive and director; to the minority janitor who progressed to a banking Vice President, to a loan customer who borrowed $5,000 to start a unique business, which recently sold for $15 million dollars. They all had one thing in common. Someone had faith in them and gave them opportunities and support. Someone who perhaps believed in them even more than they believed in themselves. That someone was John Obereiner.

John's faith also took the form of extending bank loans to people and businesses, who often did not qualify for a bank loan, and might never, have found funding without his exceptional faith. The faith in those individuals and businesses, concepts and ideas, has been responsible for the progress of immeasurable businesses, services, processes and indeed, the world.

The number of beneficiaries of John's of faith is immeasurable. The families, children, grandchildren, businesses, successors, shareholders  have and will,  continue for generations  to be, enriched and live better and happier lives as a result of the faith of one man.  

It has been said that the best thing a person can do for anyone, is to leave them in a better place than you found them. Also that people do not fear to die, they really fear more to have lived without meaning, and that you only take with you, what you leave behind. 

If any of these adages have any truth or meaning, and faith counts for anything in the hereafter, John Obereiner is truly sitting on the top of the heap.  

When a man leaves this earth, he leaves a legacy of many things- love- history, principles and sometimes wealth.  And even a greater and often overlooked legacy, what to be- how to be-

To leave a legacy of any of these things is admirable. To leave something far greater than all of those things combined, faith in people is close to miraculous. The lesson of faith that John Obereiner provided will continue to multiply and bless all those who were the fortunate beneficiaries of his faith.

If it wasn't for John's simple comment after a Friday night tennis game: "I think I may have a house for you and your family" (his father-in-law's home was just listed for sale)our two daughters, one not even born, may not have had the opportunity to grow up in Wilmette. John was a good friend, tennis and handball partner, and neighbor. We will all miss him. Don and Linda Lotton

Memories of John and Marilyn --
We have wonderful memories of John and Marilyn; they were not only good friends but they were fun to be with. We enjoyed the Chicago Symphony, dinners at ethnic neighborhood restaurants, and a weekend at Paw Paw Lake. They are missed.
 Marie & Dick Clay

Jim, Cheryl and family - we are so sorry for your loss.  Keeping you in our thoughts.  Love, from the Dennis Family in California.

Lori, Mark, and Jack and all Obereiner Families,
It was a pleasure to see your dad at Christmas time in California; he will be missed.  Please know our prayers are with you all during this very sad time.  
Love,

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  The pictures were wonderful and told a beautiful story of his life.  Thank you for sharing them.  Love to you, John and the children.  
Aunt Nancy

Lori,
Our sincere condolences to you and your family. we only met John twice and for just a short time, but he seemed like a very caring and loving person. Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Al and Eleonore Gutierrez

Karen, Lori, John, Jim, and family, You are all in our thoughts and prayers. 
Love, Lyn, JR, and Caitlyn

Karen, Lori, John, Jim and all -- Your dad was a true original and he and your mom were like a second family for me. I am thinking of you all.

Belmont Bank was my first job and where I met John Obereiner who inspired me then and the rest of my working life.  Not often do you find someone like him.  He provided me with a work ethic unsurpassed.

A person who inspired and brought out the best in everyone. Thank you John. Though to me you'll always be Mr Obereiner. My life is much better for knowing you. Good Bless You

A higly repected man who unselfishly shared his knowlege and gave opportunities to thousands who now have a beter life for themselves and their families becasue of him.

Former 28 year Colleague
Allan Pallante

Karen, Lori, John, Jim, et al:
Beautiful, awesome photo tribute to your dad. You are all in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. 
Love, Marcia, Dennis, and family.

OBITUARY

John M. Obereiner

31 December, 1923 – 2 June, 2012

Wm. H. Scott Funeral Home

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