Raymond Ray David James Brown

It is with deep sadness that we announce the passing of Raymond David James Brown with family at his side as he took his final flight after a brief but courageous battle with cancer. He was 70 years old.

Leaving to mourn his passing is his wife Darlene of over 48 years, daughter Jackie (Dave), son Stuart (Jane), his sisters Elaine (Allen) and family, Marilyn (Al) and family and brother Keith, brother in law Jim (Avis) and family, his grandchildren Derek, Nicole, Delaney, Ryan and Lauren whom he was so very proud of, and many other family and friends. He was predeceased by his parents and a niece.

Raymond was born on November 1, 1942 in Unity, Saskatchewan. He joined the military in the spring of 1962 while attending the University of Saskatoon. Ray and Darlene married in September 1964 and began their tour of military postings that included Moose Jaw, Portage la Prairie, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Toronto, Winnipeg, Trenton, Regina, Edmonton then back to Winnipeg. Lieutenant Colonel Brown, flew many aircraft, but the highlight of his career were his over 5000 hours on the Hercules and his time as Commander of 435 Squadron in Edmonton and leading Op Nile – a famine relief mission in Ethopia. After 31 years of loyal service to his country he retired from the Air Force and started a new career at Transport Canada where he continued to fly until 2005.

He was an avid golfer and curler. He enjoyed travelling with Darlene and spending summers at the cabin fishing, boating, entertaining and just enjoying life. He loved to putter around in his shop doing woodworking, but his favorite pastime was watching his grandchildren in their sporting events and other activities.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Ray’s memory may be made to a cancer charity, or other charity of your choice. A service was held at Thomson “In the Park” Funeral Home – 1291 McGillivray Boulevard, on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013 at 2:00 p.m.

Eulogy by Ray's daughter Jackie:

Proud…is the one word I would use to describe my Dad and it was the first word in his speech at the change of command ceremony when he became Commander of the 435 Squadron in Edmonton.

Any time ‘Oh Canada’ played whether he was in a stadium with 30,000 people or at a kids hockey tournament with 20 fans he would sing every word even if he was the only one singing.

Despite our many moves across Canada I never once lived in a city with any other relative so it was the 4 of us.

Family and friends were very important to my Dad and he nurtured these relationships. If he was going on a business trip he would always make a point of calling up people he knew to see if he could join them for dinner or a drink.

We had two types of vacations, camping and visiting relatives and sometimes we even combined the two and camped with relatives..

Twice a year we would load up the 8 tracks and head to Saskatchewan to visit family. The 12 hour drive wasn’t so bad for me because I usually slept while Stu spent his time studying the maps, to this day he can probably name every town between here and Marsden.

When I wasn’t sleeping or giving Stu the “window seat”, Dad and I were usually singing. Since changing stations or tapes to music that I liked was not an option I unfortunately know all the words to every Willie Nelson, Kenny Rogers, Roger Whittiker and Engleburt Humperdink song.

We all loved camping, especially with Torpets, Loys or Taylors. We camped at many different places some that come to mind are Madge Lake, Waskasu, Wallace Lake, Reid Lake, Blue Lake but probably the one we spent the most time at was Rushing River where Dad and Bob spent countless hours towing us around while we learned to ski. Fishing usually ended with Mom catching the most fish and Dad making excuses…like how he spent most of his time baiting Stu and Mom’s hooks.

Other memories I have in no particular order are:

• Going to the rec center in Ottawa and seeing who could swim the furthest underwater – Dad usually won but then I was only 5

• Dad coming home from his trips with jewelry for Mom (she has quite the collection)

• Getting to sit up in the cockpit with the headset on during one of the trips I took with Dad

• The other trips in the back of the Herc on the mesh seats and box lunches

• Going to air shows

• Mom and Dad being very involved in the community club; I don’t know how many sock monkeys Mom made for the bazaar or how many hockey games Dad watched trying to pick club MVP and Dad coaching my softball team

• Dad umpiring – you could always tell it was him by his enthusiastic STI-RYK

• Walking our cat Tammy on a leash made of string because cat leashes weren’t invented yet because cats were allowed to roam free but that was the one condition that Dad allowed us to keep her because there was no way his cat was pooping in someone else’s flower beds

• Waking up in the middle of the night hearing Mom playing the piano with Dad and a few others (possibly Ron Nelson and Brian Gable) singing away – alcohol may have been a factor???

• Being so excited to get my driver’s license but then being turned down almost every time I asked to borrow the car even after going through the 3rd degree

• Being the only person in the entire school who had a curfew of 11:30 on NEW YEARS EVE!!!

• Our family vacation to Florida – after spending the day at Disney Dad and I went to the pool for a swim, when the good looking lifeguard came up and said “oh, are you two on your honeymoon?” yuck

• Karaoke at the Tess’s Appraisal parties where Dad would always get up at least once and dedicate a song to Mom “A white sports coat” was his old standby

• Watching Mom and Dad dance together at different social events, they really did dance beautifully together

• Attempting time after time, my legs shaking so bad I could hardly ski so that Dad could get the perfect picture of Stu and me together slaloming behind the boat for his wall of fame at the cabin – which has since been replaced with grandchildren pictures!!!

Dad loved telling jokes or stories and at his retirement party from the Air Force one of his lines was “since it is my retirement it is my job to talk and your job is to listen and if you finish your job before I finish mine…the bar is over there”

I don’t have any jokes but I do have a couple of stories:

Egg in the hole…the only one time that I remember Mom and Dad not getting along started when Dad came to me with a cup of tea and asked if I could take it to Mom because she wasn’t talking to him. So recalling the previous evening it started probably around 2:00 a.m. in the morning when someone was pounding on our door and ringing the doorbell over and over so Mom turned on the lights and woke me up and went to answer the door. Dad had been at a beer call and invited some friends over but his friends arrived before he did. So Mom let the first fellows in and then Dad arrived a little later, now I don’t think it was the fact that she got woken up or the fact that he invited a couple friends over that upset her, I think the problem was Dad saying something like “well honey since you are up maybe you can fry us some egg in the holes”

Slush…I had a little incident with underage drinking and when I got home and explained to Mom what happened she just said “your Dad can deal with this” which is a typical response from a parent, however that summer my Dad was out of town and not expected back for another month!!! Longest month of my life, Shari had me convinced that I would be sent away to a military camp or grounded for eternity. When he finally came home and we had the talk he said “well if you think you need to drink then you should drink at home.” Shari and I could not believe our good fortune…however, his time of being somewhat of a cool Dad came to an abrupt end when they had company over and my Mom went to get the ice cream pale of slush from the freezer to serve to her guests and found that it was almost empty…daughter …I guess I misunderstood what he meant by drinking at home!!! I think he was still punishing me for that when just before I turned 18 he accepted a posting in Trenton Ontario where the legal drinking age was 19!!!

Skinny dipping…there was only one time when I recall Dad being the first to go to bed. It was out at the cabin and there may have been the odd green apple martini consumed by Jane, Mom and I throughout the evening. Sitting by the fire Jane and my Mom decided that they should go skinny dipping. It was at that point that Dad declared to Stu I am going to bed you can take care of them. Now what you have to know is that skinny dipping for my Mom and Jane is no bathing suit – but a full wet suit and a life jacket!!!

Dad has been around for:

• Various weddings

• Grandpa and Grandma Loy’s 50th and 60th wedding anniversaries

• Uncle Jim and Auntie Avis’s 50th wedding anniversary

• Auntie Elaine and Uncle Allen’s 50th wedding anniversary

• The Loy reunion and the Brown reunion and for those who don’t know both families are fairly small so if one person was missing it wouldn’t have been the same so even though it was not many people, trying to get three generations from different locations together posed some challenges so we are very fortunate that they both worked out so well

• Derek (or Big D as grandpa would call him) getting his black belt in Tae Kwon Do

• Derek graduating high school and Nic so close she can taste it and those are the two he might have been worried about because we know the other three will graduate

• Dilly marching in cadet parade

• Lauren’s piano recital

• Ryan’s (or Ry Guy) soccer/baseball/football/hockey games

• Mom and Dad would schedule their week around grandchildren’s activities and attended almost all of them and it paid off last year with Lauren in ringette, and Ryan and Nicole in hockey all winning city champs

• Mom and Dad travelled every province in Canada and every state in the U.S., they took an Alaskan cruise and last year they went to England and Scotland.

Now I just want to end with a couple of fun facts: Mom had the highest marks every year in school except the one year (grade 10) when Dad attended Marsden and he got the highest marks and if you were to look in Dad’s wallet you would see a picture of me as a baby that he has carried around for 46 years!!!

Eulogy by Ray's son Stuart:

First of all I just want to thank everyone for coming out today. The family really appreciates it, as well as all the thoughts, prayers and support that have been given over the last while.

Speaking to large groups, this is my Dad’s thing. He was a natural at it. Sorry, but I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to do proper justice to it. Give me a glass of rye and let me tell stories, make jokes and solve the world’s problems and I’ll talk until the sun comes up, but expect me to talk about my feelings and I don’t generally have much to say. Jane is going, uh, yeah, duh, on both counts. Unfortunately doing this honour requires more of the latter so I apologize in advance if I mess it up but alas, this isn’t about me.

This is all about my Dad, Lieutenant Colonel Raymond David James Brown. That was always a mouthful. He was a proud man, dare I say, larger than life. He loved to laugh and had an infectious smile. He was many things to many people. A husband, a son, a big brother, a little brother, an uncle, a nephew, a brother-in-law, a son-in-law, a friend, a neighbour, a boss, a subordinate, a teammate, a colleague, a student, a teacher, a commander and a co-pilot. It is obvious from everyone here and all the best wishes from those that couldn’t make it here, that he excelled in all those ways. If I can borrow a term from his beloved Saskatchewan roots, he cut a pretty wide swath when it came to the number of people he influenced. He was an active, smart, strong and healthy figure. He carried and supported the family with his broad shoulders, hard work and sheer will and determination. You might say, he was never shy to do any of the heavy lifting. He was never sick, other than sometimes self-inflicted that is.

He was born into very humble beginnings, of which I still can’t really imagine. He wasn’t given much advantage in life so he learned to work and earn everything he ever got. He was given responsibility early on as he tended the family store and drove the school bus at very young ages by today’s standards. Against difficult odds he opened up opportunities for himself and ventured to Saskatoon to attend post-secondary education. Those ethics likely gave him the tools to handle the extreme burden of responsibility, levels that I can’t even fathom that he accepted and thrived with throughout his career. He was a leader of men. He never asked for handouts and didn’t expect any more out of anyone else than he expected from himself.

He was honourable, honest, quite simply a man of character. Those are words that are often thrown around by lesser people as punch lines but they are words that he lived by. He did so many amazing things in his career. All his many achievements are proof of his success. And through it was liked and respected by his superiors and subordinates alike. He was a doer. He volunteered for numerous committees, executives, kids’ sports teams, cadets and many other organizations. He always seemed to be in control. That would have served him well during all those tough landings under difficult conditions, kind of funny though how a pilot could be afraid of heights. He never seemed to lose his cool or show weakness. That must’ve helped him when lining up that game winning curling shot, kind of funny though that it didn’t help make more putts. Whether he was getting up at 5:00 a.m. to go deer hunting or getting ready to go to a wedding, he always presented himself the same. Clean shaven and with Bryl Cream in his hair.

It was rare for him to show any kind of public display of affection but he was a very sentimental guy. Once in awhile he would give a little chuckle, where his voice would crack and you could tell he was choked up. It was usually when he was referring to something one of his grandkids had done, but it could just as easily occur when he referred to something as simple as a Jay Leno quip on late-night, or something Linda Moore had said on a curling telecast or when speaking about one of his favourite songs or shows. There were no tears, and then he would just move on like nothing had happened.

He loved to hunt and fish as well as play cards and games. As a skilled woodworker he created many things for many people, including a myriad of pieces that continue to adorn our home. He definitely put the handy in handyman, and I don’t think he ever ran into a problem that a shot of silicone couldn’t fix. You definitely had to hesitate though before saying to him that you wanted something built because it would literally get done the next day, certainly before you ever needed or had a place for it. But if he said he would do something, you could be sure it would be done. He loved country and western music. Heck, Willie Nelson had long hair and was a tax cheat but Dad would still go see him play every time he came to town. He really only cared to see old movies, but hopefully he didn’t have to record it because generally the ending would be cut off. Very frustrating but funny none the less. He had an opinion on everything and often took it upon himself to write letters or stand up for things he believed in. But in his retirement he was comfortable with his life. And he enjoyed all parts of it. A few times saying to me that he really didn’t care what was going on in the world, as long as it didn’t affect Mom and him out at Bird Lake.

I’ll always remember him last summer, still waterskiing or wading out into chest deep water moving rocks out at the cabin, all just a couple months shy of his 70th birthday. He could still hit a golf ball as far as he ever did. I’m sure Mike is out there thinking, that is more an indication that he never could hit one very far. Just two short months ago he curled in the 125th Annual MCA bonspiel, and damned if his team didn’t go further than mine, getting 9 or 10 games I think. Then at the end of January he was a volunteer timekeeper for the Manitoba Scotties in Stonewall. He even continued to curl 4 times a week until the middle of February. That’s why right until the last day I didn’t look at him any different than I ever did. He seemingly could still do all the same things I ever saw him do. Still the strong, able man I always knew. He had a clear mind and a keen sense of humour until the very end. He could still regale you with the details of a curling shot from the Marsden Cashspiel from 40 years ago, and his last words were a smart-ass comment to a nurse about how he had had better days.

He was a man of tradition, the first Sunday in March each year always featured the Brier Final at Dad’s house. This year was no different. The family congregated there. Mom even made lasagna to lure in the non-curling fans among us. What could be better? Dad still thought Stoughton skips a dumb game. Some things never change. If only he would have let Dad call the shots for him maybe he would have won. It’s no wonder then that he didn’t always think I called the right shot either, but that was only because he cared and I wouldn’t trade those times for anything. I knew it was likely to be the last Brier we would share, but never in a million years did I think it would be the last Sunday together as a family. Oh well, I guess maybe now Saskatchewan can finally win another Brier. Dad dis say they likely wouldn’t, at least as long as he was still alive anyways. And now he won’t have to lose any more curling bets with Gary. I would hear all about them on Fridays at lunch. Dad would usually call the night before to see if I was going to make it. He knew the only way Mom would make egg salad for him was if I showed up. But of course it was really about us getting caught up on our week’s curling or golf games, the grandkids sports or activities, the politics of the day or simply just to BS about life and the world around us.

He touched and affected so many people’s lives that is for certain, but I can only speak in absolute terms about what he meant to me.

He was my dad, in every sense of the word. He was my father, my hero, my mentor, my coach, my big brother and my best friend. I will cherish forever all the time we spent together. He always had my back. He provided complete selfless assurance through his words and actions, an infinite level of security and protection. Whether I was 4 or 40, I had the confidence in knowing that nothing could hurt me, not on his watch. He gave me unconditional love and support.

There is so much more that I would like to say. I guess it turns out I can talk about my Dad all day as well, and I don’t need a shot of Whiskey to do it. So many stories and memories and accomplishments to mention, but I will try to wrap things up.

Thanks Dad, for everything you gave me. I’ll do my best to make you proud. Rest well, until we meet again.

Now if everyone would please grant me a minute as I turn my attention to my Mom. We were alone together for Dad’s last breath. In a brief, unexpected instant, all the focus turned from caring for Dad to caring for her. In what I can only explain as having to witness someone I love so much having to endure a moment of complete emotional pain, devastation and vulnerability while knowing there was nothing I could do to alleviate it. But then just as quick, with class and amazing grave, she was able to gather herself together. I couldn’t have been more impressed. Mom, you are a strong, proud woman, which I guess isn’t surprising to anyone since you are a Loy after all. It’s easy to see why you and Dad made such a great couple, always and forever. With all these people to bear witness, I just want to say to you, the same thing that I promised to Dad, and in the strongest terms and conviction I can muster, everything is going to be okay. You and the family will be just fine. You can count on me to make sure of that.

Eulogy by Bob Stewart:

I’ve known Ray for over 50 years. In that time we’ve had many discussions-many about flying. The following is from the internet and I have altered it to include Ray.

The C-130 Hercules and the CF-18s

A couple of CF-18’s are escorting a C-130 Hercules, and their pilots are chatting with the pilot of the transport (Ray) to pass the time. Talk comes ‘round to the relative merits of their respective aircraft. Of course the fighter pilots contend that their airplanes were better because of their superior speed, maneuverability, weaponry, and so forth, while putting down the Herc’s deficiencies in these areas.

After taking this for a while, Ray says, “Oh yeah? Well, I can do a few things in this old girl that you’d only dream about.” Naturally, the fighter jocks challenge him to demonstrate.

“Just watch,” comes the quick retort.

And so they watch. But all they see is that C-130 continuing to fly straight and level.

After several minutes Ray comes back on the air, saying “There! How was that?”

Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots reply, “What are you talking about? What did you do?”

And Ray replies, “Well, I got up, stretched my legs, went back to the toilet and relieved myself, went to the galley, got a cup of coffee, and ate a donut!!!”

I can just see Ray with a little twinkle in his eye and that huge grin on his face when he realized he had “bested” these two fighter “jocks”.

And, that’s how I would like to remember him!!!

Eulogy by Ray’s wife Darlene, read by Bob Stewart:

Ray, my best friend, my husband, the love of my life, I don’t know why you had to leave me now. But looking back he had a good full life and I believe if it was his time to go he would have wanted it to be quick with dignity and little suffering.

Ray and I met in grade ten, married in September of 1964 after he had completed three years at the University of Saskatchewan. He had joined the military after his first year at University.

When we were thinking of getting married he said to me “as I am a pilot you will be alone a lot of the time and there will be a lot of moves” which turned out to be very true, but we have had over 48 years of happily married life. We have two wonderful kids, Jackie and Stuart, of whom he was very proud. When they were growing up and involved in sports etc. Ray was very active at the community club level. Jackie excelled in swimming and Stuart in sports among their other achievements. Now we have Jane and Dave as part of our family who he had great respect and love for. We have five very special grandchildren, Derek, Nicole, Delaney, Ryan and Lauren. Derek was not a team person in sports but excelled in Tai Kwon Doe and got his black belt along with his Mom. Delaney joined Air Cadets and Ray thought she looked so sharp in her uniform. Nicole, Ryan and Lauren are in team sports, Nicole a goalie in girls hockey, Ryan in hockey and Lauren in ringette. A year ago all three of them got the gold medals in their playoffs, we were at most of the games, Ray was one proud Grandpa. He was proud of his uniform and serving his country. He often said for two small town prairie folk we did okay and we did.

Ray retired from the military in January of 1993. He was on the French course, in line for a promotion, and of course a move so we decided we should put down some roots and since our kids were here he got a job with Transport Canada. We bought a cabin at Bird Lake where we had many special times with family and friends. Our friends Bob and Lorna had the cabin two doors down and we shared a lot of “Happy Hours”, fish fries and I think Bob and Ray fished together almost every day. Ray, Mike Culley, Al Kohli and Bob Maier would go to the cabin for the opening of fishing season in May and there were lots of stories which came from those weekends. I am sure that I didn’t hear them all. Ray retired from Transport in 2005 and since then we have travelled a lot.

Ray was a very sociable person, he could talk about anything with anybody. Ray was a very thoughtful and caring person. He forgot one anniversary and I guess I gave him such a hard time he never forgot another one. On Valentine ’s Day we were at Safeway and he said “pick out some roses for yourself” so I did. At that time Ray was eating very little but at supper time he said “we have to do something.” Finally he said “I think I could eat some Kentucky Chicken and fries” so I went out and got some. He tried so hard to make it special and it was for me.

Ray was a sentimental guy. He talked about this fall retracing the places we went on our honeymoon and for our 50th in 2014 going on a cruise through the Panama Canal.

Ray had a wonderful sense of humour and had the ability to make me laugh even in his last days.

Ray lived life to the fullest, he was one great man.

I will cherish forever the memoirs we made together, I love him with all my heart. Good-bye my love, “Fly high” until we meet again.

* * * * * * * * * *

It is with deep sadness that we announce the passing of Raymond David James Brown with family at his side as he took his final flight after a brief but courageous battle with cancer. He was 70 years old.

Leaving to mourn his passing is his wife Darlene of over 48 years, daughter Jackie (Dave), son Stuart (Jane), his sisters Elaine (Allen) and family, Marilyn (Al) and family and brother Keith, brother in law Jim (Avis) and family, his grandchildren Derek, Nicole, Delaney, Ryan and Lauren whom he was so very proud of, and many other family and friends. He was predeceased by his parents and a niece.

Raymond was born on November 1, 1942 in Unity, Saskatchewan. He joined the military in the spring of 1962 while attending the University of Saskatoon. Ray and Darlene married in September 1964 and began their tour of military postings that included Moose Jaw, Portage la Prairie, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Ottawa, Winnipeg, Toronto, Winnipeg, Trenton, Regina, Edmonton then back to Winnipeg. Lieutenant Colonel Brown, flew many aircraft, but the highlight of his career were his over 5000 hours on the Hercules and his time as Commander of 435 Squadron in Edmonton and leading Op Nile – a famine relief mission in Ethopia. After 31 years of loyal service to his country he retired from the Air Force and started a new career at Transport Canada where he continued to fly until 2005.

He was an avid golfer and curler. He enjoyed travelling with Darlene and spending summers at the cabin fishing, boating, entertaining and just enjoying life. He loved to putter around in his shop doing woodworking, but his favorite pastime was watching his grandchildren in their sporting events and other activities.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Ray’s memory may be made to a cancer charity, or other charity of your choice. A service will be held at Thomson “In the Park” Funeral Home – 1291 McGillivray Boulevard, on Wednesday, March 27th, 2013 at 2:00 p.m.