Cobey David Batrum

Cobey David Batrum, an amazing young man of sixteen, was returned to God on June 27th, 2016. Cobey is survived by his mother, Tessie Lynn McGuire (James), his father, Aaron David Batrum (Susana), and his sister, Taylar-Rhea McGuire and Jim’s children, who Cobey referred to as his brothers (oldest to youngest), Jason (Sara), Jerry, Justin (Jamie), James, Dylan (Victoria) and Colton. Cobey had an extensive family, with all of his grandparents surviving him; on his mother’s side Darrell and Jo McGuire, on his father’s side Jerry David Batrum and Ron and Hollie Crawford. Cobey is survived by his Favorite Auntie Tara Batrum-Self, and her children (oldest to youngest), Jonathan, Corey, Zachary, Madeline and Jacob, and his uncle Shane McGuire and his children Jessica and Connor.

Words cannot adequately express how much this family loved Cobey or how truly astounding this young man was, however, we will try. Cobey was incredibly loving, and would always yell “love you, love you, love you” to everyone; even if they couldn’t hear him. When Cobey hugged you, it was the best hug you ever experienced, and he always held you close and long. When Cobey spoke with you, you could see every expression on his face. You could count the times on one hand that he wasn’t smiling.

Cobey and his mother had a special bond, he was definitely a mother’s boy. Cobey would walk through the house saying “Mom. Mom. Mom,” a million times, even if there was no response. This occurred so often, that Tess began to refer to him as “Stewie” (from Family Guy). Cobey loves his mom, and there is absolutely no way that anyone can fully understand the bond between a mother and her son. One summer, Cobey became fixated on tie-dye. So Tess went out and bought everything that we needed for this art project, and she made it a reality. He was so elated, and so absolutely enthralled with the vibrant colors, that he not only dyed the shirts that he had bought for the project, but he dyed every white shirt that he owned, every white shirt that was in the house, every sock that he could find, and even a dish towel. The only article of clothing that either of us can bear to put on are the shirts from this memory.

I always lovingly called Cobey “Bubba,” and I can’t even remember how that happened; when Bubba was younger, he had an obsession with the name “fastie.” Every hamster (and he lost a lot of them, after all, they were fast and needed to run), every goldfish (and he would spend hours picking out the fastest one), and every other animal this family has had through the years were all named “fastie” (at-least for a little while). As he grew, this became a wonderful joke, and I now own a bunny that he had picked out a few days ago named “fastie.”

I remember when Cobey decided that he wanted to be a hunter; we spent hours together filling out his hunter registration (and we cheated the whole way). I remember how agitated he was, he just wanted to go hunting, why should he have to basically go to school? However, he finished it and was simply elated. Cobey loved every form of hunting that he could do; and he was successful at it. He was able to procure himself many ducks, geese, fishes, clams, crabs and lots of cases of “buck fever.” Cobey and his father made a lifetime of special memories during their trips hunting; Cobey loves hunting with his father, and this was something that they both enjoyed immensely. When Cobey and Aaron went hunting, it was always with the following people: Papa Jerry, Uncle Danny, Unc-ee Boodo and their children. Every weekend in duck season and every deer season they all would get together, from 3 AM until exhaustion, just how Cobey loved it. The first time that Cobey saw a deer, he was with his father Aaron. The sun was just creeping up, and bullet sounds were resounding through the canyon. Suddenly, there were 20 does and one buck (a four pointer of course), and Cobey froze. At this point, Cobey says that Aaron stood up, began flapping his arms around screaming at the top of his lungs “shoot him! Shoot him! SHOOT HIM!” Of course, this is why he lost the buck. (That’s his story, and trust me, he is sticking to it.)

Cobey had more than one father-figure in his life, and that was James (Jim) D. Bartlett. Jim has been involved in Cobey’s life since the first grade, and he loves Cobey as a son. Jim blessed Cobey with the brothers he always wanted, and due to that he shared everything; he never had his own room because of these boys, and you know what? It was for the best. These “roommates” were also his video game buddies, his story tellers, and they pushed him out of his comfort zone, and Cobey was very grateful for that. Now, Cobey has a beautiful mutt-dog named Big-R; at one point Cobey felt the need to make everyone aware that she could not like anyone (specifically his brothers) more than she liked him. He did his best to make her know that he was her boy, and she did. Right now she is looking out the window searching for her boy, waiting for him to come home. Just as we are.

Now this boy also had a huge funny bone (but I think most of this was serious). Every night he slept with this flimsy gate on his bedroom door, due to the notion that this would help keep the zombies out long enough for him to find his shotgun and begin the annihilation. Cobey and Jim once spent an entire night whittling down their zombie attack time from 6 and a half minutes to 30 seconds. He had watched the Walking Dead and was unable to sleep. This helped him feel better. He truly believed that at some point there would be an attack, and he had a plan Stan.

Cobey worked hard for his family; he would go to his Papa Darrell’s house every day and work in some way, be it mowing the lawn, helping with the chickens, or lugging in bags of pellets. Now the thing to know about Cobey is that he does not mow the lawn at home without putting up a fight or magically getting a stomach ache, so that tells you how much he loved his Papa. Cobey firmly believed that his Grandma Jo was always attempting “to poison me”— he only ever got the flu at their home.

During the summers, Cobey would spend time at Mount Rainier and the beach with his Grandma Hollie and Papa Ronnie. This was the highlight of his summers, as he loved camping and hiking with his cousins Maddy, Jacob and Zach. He would always run around with them, simply ecstatic about life. One time, Cobey was hiking with Jacob and Zach, when they accidentally tipped Maddy over a small bridge, attempting ejection of Maddy from her wheelchair (oops!). Of course he picked her back up (after, according to Maddy, I “beat him up”).

Papa Ronnie and Grandma Hollie treasure the memories of all the holidays that Cobey, Taylar, and Aaron spent with them; all of the crazy Easter egg hunts, all the turkeys and sparklers. We all treasure all of the Christmases (Cobey always got the best presents, as all “babies” of the families do). Each and every one of us will treasure every argument (he was sixteen), every tear, and every word spoken.

Cobey had four nieces and one nephew, and he loved each of them dearly. One of these nieces, Kacee, was taught by him that every color is “purple” and how to do a “butt plop” (which is the ability to jump up and land on her bottom). Much to her mother Victoria’s pleasure, Kacee calls him “Obie.”

About four months ago Cobey met his soul mate, Crystal Schuler. The day after their first date, he came home and told everyone that he was in love, and that he felt like he has known her his whole life. Cobey had never looked at a girl before Crystal, and he knew that she was “the one” for him. He called her his wife and he meant it. I had never seen him smile so brightly or talk so sweetly; these last four months were the happiest of his life. He loves her so much.

In France they don’t say I miss you, they say “tu me manques,” which translates to “you are missing from me” and that is exactly what Cobey is, missing from us.

—Lovingly written by Cobey’s favorite sister, Taylar-Rhea McGuire

There will be a funeral service Wednesday, July 6th at noon at Langevin El Paraiso Funeral Home. A memorial will follow; more information to be posted. To share a memory of Cobey visit, www.lepfuneralhome.com.