Alfred M. D'Elia

Alfred D’Elia was the epitome of the American Dream. He was born in the small town of Quaglietta, just outside of Naples, Italy, on October 28, 1931. In 1948, at just sixteen years of age, he immigrated to the United States, alone, while only able to speak Italian. He lived with relatives he had just met and learned English quickly. A few years later, he met a young girl named Frances Rubino at Culvermere Resort in New Jersey, where they immediately fell for one another. Alfred and Frances married on September 11, 1955 and eventually started a family, having three daughters.

Alfred was an extremely hard-worker with a strong work ethic. He made a living in the printing industry, working at Pace Press, while also participating in countless local elections over the years. He took great pride in his work and only retired at 77 years old when his company moved to New Jersey and the drive became too daunting. All who worked with him admired and respected him. He grew a network of colleagues and friends who he enjoyed spending time with at the Meadowlands racetrack or playing pinochle at his club on Arthur Avenue. He was also an avid sports fan and newspaper reader, reading from back cover to front, of course. Alfred also made friends wherever he went, striking up conversation with every and anyone. He loved and enjoyed people!

Alfred loved spending time with his family, often enjoying Saturday dinners or celebrating the holidays. Christmas Eve was his favorite night of the year. He was proud of the family he raised, and was always encouraging and supportive of his five grandchildren. He was overjoyed at each and every outing with his grandkids and always found a reason to bring the family together.

Another passion was good food, especially the countless meals cooked by his wife, Frances. He loved a great meal, a glass of red wine and a double decaf espresso to end the evening.

He is survived by his beautiful wife, Frances, his daughter Sue Ann and son-in-law Nick, Lisa (pre-deceased by son-in-law Michael), and Alana and son-in-law Patrick. He is also survived by his five loving grandchildren, who he was immensely proud of—Christopher, Laura, Amanda, Christina, and Nicholas.

In lieu of flowers, donations in Alfred’s memory should be made to St. Jude Children’s Hospital or Sloan Kettering Cancer Research Center.

Eulogy:

May 13, 2021

Dear Grandpa,

Where do I begin? This letter will not come close to expressing and sharing all I need to, but I will try my best (and yes, the Yankee game is on as I am writing this). I want to begin by saying thank you. Thank you for 27 years of unconditional love and teaching me first-hand what it means to put family first. Thank you for being there through all the ups and downs life has thrown at us, and showing me what it takes to be a true gentleman. Thank you for being a role model in showing that you can start with nothing, and with a little hard work and dedication, make the world all you want it to be. On behalf of your family and friends who love and adore you, thank you.

I would never have been able to manage what you accomplished back in April of 1948. You arrived from Italy, and set out on a journey that would have frightened even the most determined. The world isn’t blessed with people like you very often, and I don’t mean that lightly. You put a smile on countless faces, you made every room brighter when you walked in, and you certainly knew how to make us all laugh, often times without even trying. I am forever grateful for our relationship and I will cherish every moment and memory.

It is going to take quite some time for me to come to terms with my new reality, but I will never forget all the joy you brought to my life. I will miss you ordering a truly excessive amount of food at Antonio’s and asking Joe behind the bar for your go-to cocktail of vodka on the rocks with specifically three olives, one for each of your daughters to share. I always laughed when you would ask the waiter “What should I get, what’s good on the menu tonight?” only to order what you knew I also liked. Don’t worry, I will always be sure to order a pizza before we even get to the appetizers! I promise to continue the tomato day tradition each August, and one of these years, I will break the record like you always wanted! It is going to be a challenge to go on a walk or a drive and not be able to hear your voice. Arriving at Giants Stadium too early for your liking will no longer have the same meaning, as I know you always thought I should have just watched the game at home. Speaking of, Sundays as a whole will forever be different in more ways than one.

Even though I have spent season after season convincing you to NOT bet on the Giants, I will be doing so every game this year. Do I still have to split the winnings with Amanda? I will be sure to have plenty of pasta dinners with Grandma and reminisce about how she would always ask you “What kind of Italian are you?!” for not wanting your pasta al dente like ours! It won’t be quite the same without you making sure I am well fed and eating within minutes of walking through your door, but I know Grandma has that covered!

The holidays will never be the same, but the memories and joy you brought will never be forgotten. I will miss shopping on Arthur Avenue and seeing you walk behind the counter at Joe’s Deli, no matter how upset it would make Grandma. You have a whole network of friends, shop owners, and fellow “guys from the club” who will also share in missing your energy and presence. I will miss bringing you your Italian coffee with lemon peel after a pastry-filled dessert. I will miss you telling me to “Go put pants on!” before I drive Grandma home this winter (because I can’t promise I will stop wearing shorts, no matter how cold)! Now that I think of it, I might finally have an easier time convincing everyone this is the year we have ravioli on Thanksgiving!

It is the small things going forward that I know will be a struggle, but at the same time, make me smile. Getting a haircut will always remind me of you, and I’m not sure I will ever be able to look at your chair in the living room and at the dining room table the same way. I might even have to start watching Fox News now so I can feel like I am sitting with you on the couch! No matter what life has to offer in the coming weeks, months, and years, I want you to know I will take care of Grandma and I promise to continue to make you proud.

Even though there is so much you might not have gotten the chance to see or do like we talked about in the coming months, you saw all of your grandchildren grow and mature into the young ladies and gentlemen you taught us to be. You left a lasting legacy that will never be forgotten and I cannot wait to be able to share stories and memories with my kids one day. Your infectious laugh, kind soul, and undeniable love for your family will never be forgotten. Just as we ended every phone call and time together… I love you.

Love,

Christopher