Barbara Jean Darlington

Barbara Jean Metz Darlington, aka Okusan, Mom, Nana, or Barb, was born on January 23, 1930, in Sioux City, Iowa. Barbara was the daughter of Ethel Winterfeld and Arnold Metz of the Metz Brothers Baking Company, original purveyors of Old Home Bread. In the summers, Barbara’s family and cousins would load a bread truck with furniture and move to the shore of Lake Okabogi, a fond memory of hers. We all knew “Old Home is good bread.” Barbara graduated from Iowa State in 1952, where she made lifelong friends in the Eta Beta Chapter of Chi Omega. She was “pinned” to a farmer, but turned him down gently to answer a call on a bulletin board to join the Red Cross as a Recreation Worker. She was first stationed at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. There, on her first day on the job and his last day of a year-long rehab, she met Robert Edwin Darlington, a Texan, a fighter pilot, and a Lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force. For their first date, Bob flew Barb to Bandera, Texas, and shortly thereafter, he painted “Barbara Jean” on the nose of his PT-19. Barb was transferred to Okinawa, Japan, with the Red Cross, and Bob was sent to jet school. After Bob drove to Sioux City to ask her parents for her hand in marriage, Barb quit the Red Cross to meet Bob in San Francisco, where, after a series of comic mishaps, they found each other and married.

That began a 30-year adventure of being married in the military. Barb and Bob were stationed in a variety of places: New Mexico, Luxembourg, France, Germany, Oklahoma, Texas, Japan, Texas again, England, Virginia, and Georgia. In the words of their favorite ditty, they “travelled along, singing their song, side-by-side.” They had four children along the way and many beloved pets. They also collected a variety of antiques from their travels…Bob would often go out “to get a paper” and come back with a hurdy gurdy, or a chandelier in a shoebox, or a London taxicab. An excellent overseas experience for Barb was taking Chinese cooking classes in Japan, taught by two American nuns. We all loved it when she made Chicken and Walnuts. Barbara learned the value of play as a recreation worker. She regaled her children with rhymes and songs, played card and board games with us, and put together endless puzzles. Whenever we arrived back home from a trip, whether long or short, she’d sing, “Home again, home again, jiggity jig.” She and Bob would “play silly” for the children, chasing each other around the table, fighting over who got the extra olive in their martini, until we were falling out of our chairs with laughter. As the wife of an officer, she became a consummate hostess and, in the words of her grandson James Edwin, she was a “good cooker,” a title she wore proudly.

After the military, Barb and Bob settled in Midland, Texas, where Bob flew chartered airplanes. When the last child left the nest, Barbara started a new career as a bookseller at B. Dalton, later Barnes and Noble. She kept the whole family in books and wooden tank engines with her discount, and led storyhour for hundreds of children in Midland. She was also a quilter, a great letter-writer, and a keeper of birthdays and minder of her children’s, grandchildren’s, and great-grandchildren’s comings and goings. A lifelong Roman Catholic, she found great solace in attending mass every Sunday. She and Bob had a final living-abroad adventure when Bob got work in Aix-en-Provence, flying charter for European soccer teams. After they returned to Midland, they put a cartoon on their refrigerator showing a couple staring at each other in the Bluebonnet Diner with the caption, “Another year nowhere near Provence.” They hosted parties in the neighborhood, celebrating by playing songs on the player piano and singing along. When Bob became ill, Barb took great care of him until he passed too early, at 78. For two years, she pulled weeds from the garden every day as her grief therapy. Then, at 80, she moved to Austin to embark on her last adventure.

Barb moved in with her youngest daughter’s “big queer family” in Austin and helped raise grandchildren and host gatherings of family and friends. She took classes at UT’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, attended St. Austin’s parish, and began using an iPad, an excellent device for tracking children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She avidly followed Texas Longhorn football and loved watching Jordan Spieth play golf.

After she became ill this fall, Swan Song came and serenaded Barbara while she was home with Hospice Austin. They played some of her favorite tunes, like “Moon River,” “Side-by-Side,” and “Bushel and a Peck.” Barbara died at home on December 3, 2025. All four children were with her. She came in on 1/23 and left us on 12/3, as easy to remember as 1-2-3…her final wink to us. Barbara gave her children many gifts, but one of the greatest was knowing that we could show up at home in any condition, with grandchildren in tow, and be greeted warmly, welcomed in with a drink and a meal. Home was wherever Mom was. Now Barb is with Bob. Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Barbara is survived by:

Daughter: Rebecca Townsend with Jay Townsend of New York, NY

Grandchildren: Rich, James Edwin & Kristy, Jonathan, Emerson, Oliver & Becca

Great Grandchildren: Payton & Jarrett, Moss

Daughter: Carol Merenda with Dave Merenda of Brasstown, NC

Grandchilden: Erin & Rick, Angelo & Wynton, James Taylor & Sophie, Frank & Torrie, Nick

Great Grandchildren: Mariah, Ritchie & Emily

Son: John with Tami Darlington of Dallas, TX

Grandchildren: Megan & William, Gracie

Daughter: Madge Darlington with Lisa Moore of Austin, TX

Grandchildren: Max & Vanessa, Milo

Cat: Horatio P. Hermansquash III

There will be a Memorial Mass held for Barbara at 10 am on Saturday, February 21, at St. Austin’s Catholic Church, 2026 Guadalupe Street, Austin, TX. All are welcome to attend the Memorial Mass and/or a Celebration of Life that follows—details on the Celebration of Life to come. In lieu of flowers, the family would be grateful for donations to Austin Pets Alive at http://www.austinpetsalive.org/donate.