Lynda Cates Harrington

She was our Mother, Sister, Grandma, Aunt, Cousin and friend. Lynda C. Harrington was born in Healdsburg, CA in 1945 to Floyd and Mildred Cates. She was the youngest of 3 children. Her brother Roger Cates, who has already left this world, and her sister Carol Campbell, who is here with us to mourn her passing and celebrate her life.

My Mother and her family moved to Antioch, CA in 1950 where the family remained for decades to follow. They bought a home there that cost all of $9,000. All 3 children graduated from Antioch High School. She was a typical 60's teenager. She loved current music, dancing, watching American Bandstand, being with friends, clothes and beehives. I remember my Mom telling me about sitting in class at Antioch High and the announcement coming over the loud speaker that Kennedy had been shot and how devastating that was for all American's.

She married my Father, Richard Lackey, when she was 18 yrs old. He soon left for the Army and was stationed in Germany. During that time my Mom remained at home with her parents awaiting her husband’s return. She would have friends and family take many photos of her to send to my Dad overseas along with letters to keep his spirits up while he was away. Once he returned, they rented an apartment and started their life together. My brother, Ryan Lackey, was born in 1967 and was their pride and joy. They had their hands full with a very rambunctious, smart and curious son. He was, and still is, just like his Father.

To my parents surprise and after some tough times, I, Sarah O'Reilly, was born 4 yrs later in 1971. My Mom and Dad were separated I believe at the time, but couldn't of felt more blessed (I hope that was true Mom!). My Mom, brother and I spent a lot of happy times together playing, laughing, fighting and growing. My Mom worked so hard to provide for us and take care of us that as we grew, I came to realize just how amazing she was. When I was asked in school to write a story about my hero, it was always about my Mom.

My Mom starting dating a cute grocery store checker around 1976. Ryan and I could never understand why checking out always took so long! Soon they were an item. My Mom married Gary Messer in 1980 and he became our stepfather. Gary wanted to have children and my Mom said ok, but just one more. They became pregnant a year later and found out 6 weeks before delivery that it was twins! Once the shock wore off, we were all on cloud nine.

Meaghan and Melissa Messer were born in 1981 in Antioch, CA. I was 10 yrs old at the time and couldn't be happier. I loved being a big sister and helping Mom with the babies. My Mom was superwoman in my eyes. She kept up with a husband, a 14 yr old, a 10 yr old and 2 baby girls. Not to mention the house and her career and PG&E.

Meaghan and Melissa were the new joys of our lives. They were such characters and so funny that they kept us all laughing for years to come. They would fight occasionally and tell on each other. When Mom went to scold the one that had done something wrong, the other twin would always step in front of the other and protect her from trouble. Their bond was so strong. I can remember Mom telling me that when she was totally overwhelmed with all of us, she would go out to the garage to do laundry and cry on the dryer. Then she would feel better once she came back in.

The twins grew and my Mom and Gary enjoyed attending all of their softball games. The twins kept them busy and on their toes. Our family would go on family vacations and loved being together.

My Mom retired from PG&E and decided to be at home, but soon became antsy with ambition again. She went down several paths, trying her hand at home businesses. She ran a busy and successful restaurant delivery business for several years, she did welcome wagon and sold Mary Kay. She always wanted to be busy, and that she did.

In the late 90's my Mom worked for Merle Norman and then decided to go to school to be an Aesthetician. She loved working with people, health and makeup. She also became interested in permanent makeup. I used to go in and see her at school and let her practice on me and I loved it. I would get great facials!

Unfortunately, a few years later, my Mom and Gary divorced. My Mom decided to come join me and her sister Carol up in Portland, OR. I had lived in Portland for several years and was so happy that my Mom would finally be close to me again. Next, it was up to her and I to convince my sisters to do the same. They were both still in CA and we desperately wanted them near us. Finally we succeed! Meaghan and Melissa both moved to Oregon and we were together again.

In 2004, my Mother and Aunt Carol stood beside me through the loss of my first child. I lost my son Kellen during labor and once again, my Mom was my rock that helped me through the hardest time of my life. I then had her granddaughter Farrin in 2005, and again, she was right there with me to welcome her. But this wasn't her first grandchild. Sierra Lackey was born to my brother Ryan and his wife Mary in 1998. So now she had two granddaughters.

My Mom had enjoyed living in Portland and being near to all of us, but truthfully, she always has hated the weather here. I have always wished that we could of all moved to a much warmer (and dryer) place. I took her to Hawaii once in 2006 and she and I knew that was a place we could live. So warm and so beautiful.

My Mom discovered about 10 yrs ago that she had a heart problem and ended up having open heart surgery. My Aunt Carol, who lives in Portland, went down to Antioch and was with my Mom for months after surgery nursing her back to health. About a year or so later, the Doctors discovered an infection in the valves that were replaced and my Mom had to have her 2nd open heart surgery. My Aunt Carol was once again there to take care of my Mom. In 2009, my Mom was told that these heart problems stemmed from a birth defect in her heart that she never knew about. They told her that the valves were failing and once again had to be replaced. So she went in for her 3rd open heart surgery. The Dr.'s could not assure us that she would survive it. We waited and waited and low and behold, she fought through it and recovered. Although, Mom never totally regained her strength after it, she did make it.

In October of 2010, my Mom had a stroke due to medication. She fought hard during these last 7 months and my Aunt Carol basically lived with her to take care of her during this time. In the end, my Mom's heart and organs just were not strong enough anymore. She needed some peace and rest and has that now.

Her children, sister and niece were all around her when she passed. We are so torn with knowing she is at peace and wanting her back here with us. My Mother was one of the greatest people I have ever known. She was my best friend and the person I still hope to be. She has had a huge effect on all of our lives. I know that my Mom took great strength from being a part of the Catholic Church and it was such a big part of her life. I know that her devotion gave her great comfort and happiness.

My hope would be with each birth and each death that we all learn, grow, reflect, ponder, wonder and have gratitude. We easily forget that we have one life here. Let's make our lives an inspiration to someone.