Albert Jerome Bakalar

Albert Jerome Bakalar. When he was younger, many called him by his middle name, Jerry. When his wife, Margaret met him, he introduced himself as “Al.” As a Navy Lieutenant, of course, he was “SIR.” But the titles he relished most were “Dad” and “Zaydah.” When you blend a New York upbringing with a Navy officer’s education and experience, you get someone who can be very direct with his communication. You always knew Al’s opinion, because, really, that’s the one that mattered. He was proud of both his Jewish heritage and his New York origins, even though he spent most of his life living elsewhere. Born in Brooklyn, New York, he lived with his Mother, Ida, and Grandparents in a 3 story row house. Family and family gatherings were always a big part of Al's life, his identity, and what was important to him. The home was filled with family love and the Jewish traditions. His grandfather, Samuel, was a strong influence, and he learned much from his mother, Ida, Aunt Helen and Uncle Leo, who became his role model and father figure. As a boy, he studied hard and enjoyed team and individual sports. He spent many hours with neighborhood friends playing marbles, stickball, and his favorite, handball. He was a good student, preparing for admission to a US service academy. While attending Brooklyn Technical, he developed his budding interests and creativity in mechanics and electronics. He continued along those lines at the United States Merchant Marine Academy (USMMA), focusing on the study of Marine

Engineering. He remained athletic and competitive and during this time he won several handball championships.

Upon graduating from the Merchant Marine Academy in 1949, Al accepted a commission as Ensign and was later promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade as a line officer in the US Naval Reserve, responsible for ship engines and systems. He proudly served for four years during the Korean Conflict. During this time he met Norma Greenberg. They were married on June 16, 1953, and started their lives together in the northeast. Norma and Al’s eldest son, Richard was born in Annapolis, Maryland, in 1955, on the US Naval Academy campus. As a “family man,” Al decided to leave the Navy to begin his civilian career as an Instrument Engineer for Chemico International in New York City. He would later go on to work with various energy companies including Shell Oil Company in Pasadena, Texas, and Baton Rouge, LA specializing in oil refinery instrumentation throughout his 35 year career. He was very proud of his work because it not only helped to increase production and product quality, but, also helped to improve plant safety and reduce pollution.

Together, Al and Norma were blessed with three children: Richard, Alice, and Steve. Each have lived rewarding lives and gained success, in their own way. Al was deeply proud of each one of them and considered raising and motivating them to be among his greatest accomplishments.

Al and Norma divorced after 20 years of marriage, but she was always the mother of his children. Well, one of their mothers, anyway. Shortly after Al moved to Houston, TX in 1973 for a job assignment, he met Margaret Clarke, a widow with three grown children. Margaret was working at Sears in the Boy’s Department, and Al was looking for the store’s tailor. Margaret said, “Wait here, I’ll get him for you,” but Al followed her, sharing that he needed a tailor because he had recently lost weight. That peaked Margaret’s interest, because she was trying to lose some weight. They quickly became friends, and introduced each other to all six children from their previous marriages. When Al asked Margaret to marry him, at first she said “no.” She didn’t want to go through the pain of losing another husband. Then, she said, “I’ll only marry you if my kids say okay.” When George, Michelle and Robert gave their approval, Margaret said, “Now I’ll only marry you if YOUR kids say okay!” Richard, Alice and Steve also agreed, and in 1975, they became one family. Through their 43 years together, Margaret's children, Michelle, George, and Robert grew to love Al and to this day think of him as their "Dad."

Above all, Al was a family man. With the endorsement of all six children, he continued to make family his priority. He also made sure that Norma, the mother of Richard, Alice and Steve, was not left out. She was included in many family gatherings. In fact, both Al and Margaret were with Norma when she passed away about 10 years ago.

For all of his children, he was a mentor, coach, counselor, advisor, and teacher. He helped form their character, guide their education and training, and shaped their lives and the lives of their extended families. Three of his children, Richard Bakalar, Michelle Clarke and Robert Clark followed his example of serving in the US Navy. His son, Richard met and married his wife, Nancy while they both served in the Navy. Years later, his Grandson, Joseph Clarke would also proudly serve in the US Navy. Al took great interest in Richard's and Nancy's transition into civilian life, and greatly respected having a son, daughter-in-law, and later a granddaughter, Jenny, who all became doctors. Whenever Al had an ailment, his wife, Margaret’s advice wasn’t good enough. He’d say, “I’ve got to call Richard.”

He became the grandfather (Zaydah) to Margaret (Maggie) and Joseph Clarke; Jennifer (Jen) Bakalar; Amanda, Megan, and Jessica Bakalar; Jade Alexander, Taylor and Kirby Clarke and enjoyed every moment he spent with each. Al was also blessed with five great-grandchildren; Halani Rodriguez, George and Esther Clarke, Brooks Rickman and Kennedy Woellner. The birth of his great grandson George motivated him to live as long as he could in the hopes that he could attend his Bar Mitzvah.

Al was someone who didn’t mince words. It almost seemed as if the more harsh the tone, the more he cared. Once, while working in the roof, George answered his cell phone when Al called. When Al found out his stepson was receiving calls while on the roof, with no one else around, he shouted into the phone, “Are you nuts??? Get the hell off that roof!” George laughed when recalling the incident…he knew Al’s stern reaction wasn’t about name-calling, but about love and care. Another time when his grandson Joe and he had a difficult discussion, Margaret saw Joseph sitting by himself outside. When she asked what was wrong, Joe said, “I just realized how much Zaydah and I are alike.” He may have expressed himself with a sharp tongue, but he was equally forceful when singing the praises of his loved ones. As George said, “He never missed a chance to brag about any of us.” If someone happened to mention a recent furniture purchase, he’d quickly say, “You should know about what my son Robert does with furniture…” and then proceed to tell as many tales as he could about his whole family. In earlier years, George had the opportunity to work with Al professionally. They became colleagues and friends, and George

saw first-hand what good negotiating skills his stepfather had and learned much from the experience.

His influence and examples will continue to positively affect the lives of all of his children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Together, Al and Margaret traveled across the US either as part of his job or for pleasure. They traveled from one corner of the country to the others. From New York to California, Alaska to Hawaii and most states in between.

Upon retiring in 1998, Al and Margaret settled in their new home near Baton Rouge, LA where they enjoyed the "Country" life. They gardened, raised rabbits, chickens, a goat and a horse and traveled a bit more. When Margaret's mother, Edith Skelly, became infirm with age, Al welcomed Edith into their home and lovingly helped care for her until her final days. They attended church and synagogue, embracing both faiths, volunteered with local organizations including the local Veteran’s post and participated in community events and politics. Al attended several USMMA Alumni reunions, in Kings Point, NY, the last with son, George, in which President George W. Bush was the guest speaker. He was able to visit his childhood home during this trip. Soon after, he began recruiting students for his alma mater, an activity that kept him in touch with the school and allowed him to council high school students.

Throughout his life, family was most important to Al and he enjoyed long conversations and video conversations with his large extended family in Denver, Rockville, Southern California and Atlanta. He cherished the shopping sprees and lunch dates with daughter, Alice, and visits with Steve and his family in Georgia. He especially enjoyed all the family holiday gatherings in Houston,TX. Michelle's annual visits were always something he looked forward to and appreciated.

Al and Margaret remained in Louisiana until moving to Houston in 2011 to be closer to their extended family. They chose to live at the Westbrae Independent Retirement Community. There Al continued to recruit high school candidates for the USMMA and the Navy and created and designed a dog park at the Westbrae Retirement Community for his beloved dog, Honey. He and Margaret made good friends and enjoyed the comfort and convenience of the community for six years.

In learning about Al and his life, three words stood out: TOUGH AS NAILS. From Brooklyn to the Navy to Texas to Louisiana, what else would you expect? But beneath the harsh exterior, Al was a man who loved his family more than anything, and cared deeply about helping all of them find their best, true selves. All those who remember him will carry with them part of his legacy.