Name: Babione-Kraeer Funeral Home and Cremation Center
Address: Boca Raton, FL

This was removed by Everlasting, but shortly before Grace was admitted to the hospital for the last time, she sad "Is Dad still waiting for me in the car?"  I was surprised to hear that as she was always lucid (except for the toxic poisoning episode), A few days later Grace said, I saw Dad sitting on the couch.  I heard others have these visions proceeding death, but not now, not my Gracie. She was still strong. But it seems it's true.  The one you love helps you cross.  May they be together again in Peace.  I hope I took care of Mom as you wanted.  No fear of her being cared for.  I miss you both.

When Grace and Jim moved to Boca Raton, they quite a few Italian families just in their own neighborhood in Florida.  It made them feel at home and the neighbors remained friends for maybe 50 years or longer.  The last neighbor who ran around the block to see Grace was Anna La Candia.  When Anna was having trouble with her legs, she would have her husband Mario make pasta fagioli  and bring it to Grace on Sundays.  Anna was such a good friend.  About a year ago, maybe more, Mario passed at the age of 95 (I think).  Anna stayed on for another year and then family brought her to New Jersey.  It's been difficult to reach her to say Hello, but I hope she is doing fine and we thank her for her great friendship and care of Grace.

When Gianni would be on the computer too long, we would tell him to "Go talk to Graciieess", as if it was a discipline.  Gianni would hop in her bed and talk to her then leave and play his games.

I think Dad had a little shyness in him.  He was strong at whatever he did, in whatever position he was in as a leader.  But, there was a time when as a Vet, he was invited to talk to 30 first graders in Jimmy's class about his experiences during the war.  I guess he thought it might be difficult to have all these little eyes on him and not really making a conversation, but hoping they could understand what he was trying to tell them.  He had only been in front of the class 15 minutes when the entire class surrounded him and were so curious with hundreds of questions.  He loved that. I recall being shy as a kid.  I'd stand behind my Gracie to hide and held onto her leg, just an extra measure to be safe, should someone talk to me.  

Sometimes I wish I could be back in Garfield just to be with everyone once again.  Dad taught me to be independent,  He always said it's so much more important for a girl to be educated to take care of herself if she is left alone.  You rewarded us with books.  You stopped at every museum we came upon. There was no other way for me but to go through college for an education.  Your father suffered tremendous hardships.  You went off to the Conservation Corp at age 15 for 4 years to help your parents with money.  Then you went off to WWII.  Life was hard, but you taught me to survive. Mom brought the gentleness and caring,  Even Granpa Frank was soft at heart,  Grandma had a fall down the basement steps, and thank God she was fine.  But it hurt Grandpa so much, he cried.  Grandma tried to hide a smile and say, "I'm fine! Poppa, I'm fine."  Sensitive and caring as he was, it is what Mom learned and it was why she was so loved.  Thank you both.

Mom, This site will close in one hour.  And then your Memorial Book will be processed.  I am frantic and sad.  There is so much more to include. I want the memories to flow so you will, in memory, still be here with us, with me.  All the times, and the love you showed for your family will be forgotten over time, for the generations to come that never knew you.  I am so sorry you needlessly suffered and were alone your last days,  But just before the days at the hospital, you said you saw Dad,  He was waiting in the car for you and another time he waited on the couch,  These visions have happened before, to others.  I just couldn't believe it could be your time.  And you kept saying, :Thank you, Pat"  No, Mom.  Thank you. God be with you.   I love you.

Aunt Grace, you were always a lovely, kind, and gentle lady, always with a smile. I loved her laugh. She was a great cook and baker. Although we were miles apart, oftentimes, I would think of Aunt Grace. She would frequently come to mind and especially when I made her cream puff recipe or her chile con carne......just delicious! She will always be remembered with warmest regards. 
        Vivian (niece) and Tony Calendrillo Arlene and Pat Luterzo


Grace loved the lord. Grace loved the church.  When no longer able to comfortably attend Mass, Gracie would listen to Mass on the TV.  Grace said her prayers daily and throughout the day.  Frankie was having a hard time getting here and there were tragedies before him.  But Gracie never stopped her endless prayers and rosaries to keep Frankie safe and be Blessed by the Lord.  Grace's prayers and sincerity were heard.  We received that blessed angel through God's grace.  Frankie made Gracie joyful, and happy.  I wish our prayer could have worked a miracle for her.

This is a rare image of Grace in the water.  When Grace was a yound girl, a couple of boys from the neighborhood thought it would be funny to hold a young girl under water.  It was a joke to them, but for Grace, it was a memory she would never forget.  She developed a fear of swimming that precluded her from even swimming in the backyard above ground pool.  My Dad taught us to swim and love the water.  Down the shore, he showed us how to jump waves and body surf.  In the summer, as kids, and the neighborhood being filled with kids, we were in that pool day and night during the summer.  The big treat of the summer was when our neighbors, Anne and Chet Fiori, would show cartoons in their backyard while we watched from the pool.

August, 2003
A few months after Jim died, we took Grace on a trip to Boston and then onto Jersey to stop and see family.  Well, Jim's description of Grace as "round foot", but in Italian, seemed to hold true.  We were having a nice time stopping at the square, the place were the Tea Party took place and other historic sites.  Angie was off with The National Italian American Federation to learn about Italian contributions to the Boston area.  As we walked, down went Grace.  It seemed like slow motion, but there was no way I could catch her.  Down she went!  We got to experience the area Boston hospital, take special elevators, and have Jimmy drag race Gracie in her wheelchair, running through airports.

Gracie used to tell me stories about her Dad.  He was a soft hearted, family loving man.  He had eight kids running around but not one of them was ever out of control.  That does not say that as kids, they didn't do regrettable things.  Grandpa had a piano that he would play.  The little ones would always put coins into the piano key slots.  As kids, everything seems like a treasure.  They decided to break apart the piano to get the money stashed in there and be rich.  Like with all rainbows, there was nothing there.  The piano would be throw out, but until then, Grandpa would plunk some working keys while it stood on the porch, waiting to be discarded. 

My love for my family , she will be missed ,god bless her and all she coped with.
John Keossy, son of Grace's sister Anna, and his daughter, Jennifer

Oh Pat, I am so sad to hear that your beautiful mother has passed away. Condolences and prayers to you and your family.

 I’m so sorry to hear about my Aunt Grace. I wish we had been able to get together before. I will always remember that she taught me how to embroider and I am thankful for that. Patty, you and your family are all in our thoughts and prayers.   Lynn Spinella Pagans, granddaughter of Jim’s brother, Joe

Our thoughts are with you all. Sorry to hear of her passing, but glad to know she lived a long life, well taken care of and loved by children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and many others. Our thoughts are with you all. Sorry to hear of her passing, but glad to know she lived a long life, well taken care of and loved by children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and many others.  Mike Cuttitta  (Grandson of Grace’s brother Vic)


When I was little, Gracie gotten me a Shirley Temple doll.  As presents for me, Grace would stay awake late at night to sew. Knit, and crochet painstaking tiny wardrobes for the doll, to make me happy.  I’m sure these were things she never had.  It was through my Mom, and spending time with her Mom and Dad, that I learned to sew.  I am sure they were the teachers for  Grace’s art in sewing and creating.  I would love to sit at Grandpa’s old Singer sewing machine and pump the foot pedal to run the stitching.  My father transformed the old manual to electric, but Grandpa would have none of that.  My father had to revert the machine back to the manual foot pedal. In addition to sewing on the machine, Grace would hand stitch clothes, needlepoint framed art, crocheted table runners, knit beautiful wool or angora sweaters for everyone, and make very cute blankets for the kids’ beds.

 I love you Gracie.  I think you enjoyed your life.  It seems like the very little you desired out of life was always there for you.  Many people, far too many, saw you as an age. Left up to them, your life should end.  You were surrounded by these black coal for hearts people at Boca Regional Hospital, like Vigo-Vigo, like the phony “Dr. Mike” Selapec, like Kathy Custer, like Motta, like the nurses Tracy and that nasty Rose.  They refused to feed you, they refused to remove your dialysis port that was infected, they assigned a self described “surgeon” to operate on you until I put an end to that.  They refused to treat a blood clot they created.  They wrote in the charts that the family elected opiate therapy, which was a lie. They flipped you on the bed and harshly shoved tubes in your nose to create black eyes. They ripped pillows out from under your head, while we watched, on the zoom, but couldn’t stop their abusive treatment. They caused a two inch deep gash on your leg that no one could explain.  All these things killed you.  You beat the sepsis.  You got a new port.  You wanted to come home and have a party with the family.  But Boca Raton Hospital staff said “No!”.  They refused to let us in where we could protect you and help you.  The last days of a sweet, docile woman’s life was torture and we were not allowed in to see you with their BS excuse of covid.  They should burn in hell for how they treated you.  I am so sad that I couldn’t protect you and be there for you.  I know, near the end, you saw Dad.  I hope that was comforting for you.  Since I was very little, I knew my job was to take care of Dad and you.  At the most important time, I couldn’t help you. I’m sorry.  It was so unfair.  God Bless you, Mom. I have to accept that my job is done. Although not a warm memory, this was also part of your life.  Karma to those bastards. For you, Mom, Thank you for being my Mom. Rest in Peace, surrounded by Light and Joy, until we meet again.


 Gracie got a kick out of my Lhasa Apso, Vita. Grace would always laugh about the time Vita caught a lizard on her patio, ripped the head off and flung it in the air . It almost landed in our lap!  Not knowing what was going on, we thought a snake was flinging itself at us.  But no, it was Vita acting like a cat and flinging a lizard at us. Grace was also amazed when I brought Vita to Grace’s house right after vitas surgery. Vita was bouncing and  happy all over the couch.  No one told Vita she just had surgery so she stayed her playful self

 Grace was very talented with knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, and sewing. Grace made her mother a beautiful sweater and a beautiful wool blanket. Angela loved both and wore the sweater all the time. When Angela was dying, she told Grace, " I will wait for you." And she did. Grace was able to fly up from Florida and see her Mom just days before she passed. Grace wanted to keep the sweater her Mom loved, as a remembrance of the love she put into the work for her Mom, as well as the remembrance of her Mom wearing the sweater. Grace did not want to take anything without her siblings giving permission. She returned to Florida. Not being in New Jersey when things were gotten rid of, the sweater was thrown out. Grace thought about that from time to time. Although it would be impossible for Grace to forget her Mom, I'm sure she would have loved to hold something in her hands that her Mom loved, because it was made by Grace

 Grace's mother and father went to church everyday, and sometimes twice a day. They attended 6:39am mass and usually were behind the door before the church opened. The priest ultimately gave Frank the keys to open the church and put the lights on. The town they lived in was Hasbrouck Heights in New Jersey. They lived on a relatively steep hill. Rain, shine, snow or ice, they charged up the hill to get to church! When in New Jersey, I would want to go with them, to help them, especially if the roads were covered in ice. However, as I slowly stepped to find secure footing, my Grandpa left me in the dust. He'd be speed walking to get to that church! He would at least be one block ahead of me while my Grandma held my arm to help me, should I fall! Also in Jersey are beautiful big oak trees that shade the streets. It makes the street look gorgeous, but the roots have a way of pulling up the sidewalk. It was on one of the uneven sidewalks that Angela tripped and fell, breaking her shoulder. Regardless, she could not miss mass. People noticed Angela crying and came to her hoping to console or help her. Angela told them she was so sad because of her shoulder injury, she could not make the sign of the cross.


 In Italy, there is a traditional way of naming offspring. It also was a way to respect the older generation. The first born male is named after the father's father ( baby's paternal grandfather). The second born male is named after the maternal grandfather. The third born male is named after the paternal grandfather's brothers, and so on down the line. Naming females followed the same formula. Italian families were typically big, so when siblings named their children using the same outline, there was a great redundancy of names. If Grandpa was "Joe" and he had three or four sons, each of his sons would name their baby boy after Joe's father. So each cousin could be Pietro. (Joe's father's name). To know who you were talking about, it became Big Petey, Little Petey, Joey’s Petey, Anthony's Petey. And so it was no different for Gracie's family. Gracie's sisters were duly named after the family who preceded them...Francis, Rosemary, and Anna. With a limited search, I never was able to find a Maria Grazia. But what I did come across, was a hometown church in the Palermo region. As devoted to God as both Gracie's parents were, it would make sense that the church would be such a part of their lives, and they would carry that memory by naming their baby girl, Maria Grazia.

Grace faced a lot of pain as a result of her blindness, amputation, renal failure, falls, a shattered shoulder, a shattered elbow, but you would never know it. She never complained. She never ever felt sorry for herself. She was happy to be around those she loved and that was all that mattered. The most recent memories are what we remember. Her early life was just as pure. I wish I had more memories to include from when she was young. This book might end, and then I may remember more, but Gracie will always be in the hearts of everyone she touched. God Bless you, Gracie. Rest in Peace until we meet again


I will always remember Grace with a smile. She was always happy and wonderful to be around. She would always meet with my mother-in-law and say rosaries together, all the time. I still have and use her hand written recipes for tassies, fried chicken and so many other things. I know Grace is at Peace and surrounded by Joy.       Vincent and Mary LaVerghetta, son and wife of Grace’s neighbors who because long time friends


Grace never liked fish. For some reason, for the past few years, she craved linguini! She looked forward to dinner as long as it was linguini! In the past, she loved the fresh grown cone and the "corn parties" with everyone outside, roasting corn on a fire.  She enjoyed a steak, in the past.  But now, the three things she had on the top of her list were 1) grilled cheese, 2) linguini (with extra olive oil and fresh garlic) 3) "worms" A/K/A Pirate Booty cheese snacks.

Gracie loved to paint. She was an excellent cook and baker. She loved to crochet, sew, do needlepoint, knit and paint. If there was a drop of paint to be found, she'd find brushers and do a design on dressers, picture frames, vases, etc. Even the statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary touted her handiwork. Jim had a similar characteristic. He would go outside with his wheelbarrow, just to "trim" some plants and shrubs. We'd look outside and everything was scalped! What happened??? But sure enough, when the terminal buds are cut, the axial buds grow thicker and fuller. He really did have a green thumb.

These are remembrances that eventually brought Grace and Jim to the time in their life when they met and stories of ancestors that preceded them.  Grandma (Carmella Spinella) made us laugh. I always remember seeing an arsenal of rocks built up on a cement wall between her house and Gerbino's bakery. I had no idea at the time it was for pitchin' stones at cats! When we'd leave her house, after visiting her, she would stand at the gate, watching us until we were out of sight. That was at 240 Grand Street, in Garfield, New Jersey.  She did what she could. Poor thing. She had a tough life. If I'm not mistaken, it was either her mother or her Grandmother who burned to death. Apparently the big skirts that were so stylish in those times, caught the flames of a pot belly stove. And again, I'd have to dig up old family notes I made years and years ago, but I think it was her husband who died from poison mushrooms. From what I understand, the way mushrooms were tested if they were poisonous or not, was by heating them in a pan with a coin. If the coin turned black, they were poisonous. Unfortunately, that was not an ideal standard for an accurate result!  I am told by my cousin that the mushrooms were eaten where they were found and the test was omitted that unfortunate day.  
 

Con't   Carmella and Giuseppe had six boys making them a family of 8. But, Carmella gave birth to 11 children. Five of them died under the age of five. One girl was named Rosa and after she died, another girl, and then a third, each named Rosa, died. Two boys also passed. Five of eleven children died. During those times, it was the custom or more a necessity, to have the funeral in the home. It is unimaginable to think what went through Giuseppe's mind when he would come home to see yet another child, passed away and layed out on the table. These children died of illnesses that would otherwise be simply treated and benign in today's world. Despite Giuseppe's diligence to get out the door by 5am and work any job he was accepted at, he eventually lost his house from lack of income and work. The house Giuseppe built and lost became a place where people could receive some government assistance. The assistance given to families then, is not what one receives today...(full housing, full education, full medical, food, and even transportation).  What Giuseppe would receive was a replacement pair of shoes for his sons. Giuseppe's sons mostly went without shoes to save the one pair they had and to keep the shoes in good shape. Finally it was Jim's turn to get some new shoes. Giuseppe humbled himself and took his son to the house he built and lost, to ask for the shoes for his son. The man behind the desk told Giuseppe to get out of the office and to put cardboard in Jim's shoes. That's about when Giuseppe reached across the desk, grabbed the man by his shirt and tie and lifted him up to demand what was due for his son. Giuseppe continued to seek work to provide for his family. During one job, Giuseppe suffered a heat stroke and died a week later. He never did benefit from the move to the land of opportunity, but he did make life better for future generations.

 Jim's parents were from Marineo, an area in the Palermo, Sicily region. As with many other Sicilians searching for a way out of poor standards of living, Jim's father, Guiseppe , wanted a better life for his family. He, too, bought tickets to America, where the streets were paved with gold (opportunity). His wife, Carmella (Azzara) did not want to leave her family and her home. Guiseppe led Carmella to believe he had sold the tickets for the ship to America. But in fact, he kept them. When the date arrived to leave Sicily, Guiseppe went ahead to America. He did not give up his dream, as he had told Carmella, but instead, left with one set of tickets, to find a place to live and a job and wait for the arrival of Carmella and their son Stephano. Carmela left her mother Cira and a foster sister in Sicily. One brother, also named Guiseppe, also left Mensiusa for America, as did Guiseppe's (Carmella’s husband) brothers Ciro, and Pietro, and his sister Tina. Many times, immigrants, upon arrival to America, were sent to where a job was awaiting them, or where there were sponsors to accept them. I imagine that is how Carmella and Giuseppe found themselves in Louisiana where their son, Stephano, would get lost in the sugarcane fields, where Giuseppe worked. Carmella would tell her Grandchildren stories and reminisce about the first time having watermelon, the first time seeing African Americans, and life near Bay St Louis, Mississippi. Somehow, they made their way from the south to New York City, during the turn of the century. Giuseppe worked as a mason and built a two family home for his family of eight. But, the escape from hard times in Sicily turned out to be no escape at all. Giuseppe had brought his family to America during the Great Depression. Giuseppe would be out the door at 5am to find work, but work was scarce. The food he could provide for his family was little more than boiled bones and stale bread. Paying for basic medical care was impossible. Con't

 Grace would relay some of her early memories....picking wild blueberries in the big empty field next to her house, making pies, the smell of fresh homemade bread and fresh jarred tomatoes grown in the backyard. Her father grew corn and potatoes and many vegetables. Grace also had fun running through the corn fields where the corn grew taller than her.
Grace remembers that sometimes she and her siblings would get in trouble for not listening. Other "trouble" included when Pete wound up in the hospital with typhoid, Vicky broke his arm falling out of the mulberry tree. There was also the time when Vicky wanted to make a small camping fire, but the grass was dry and his campfire set off a big fire! Another adventure was when Anna fell off a truck and split her head, and when Francie took a nasty fall in the subway, and when  "Anna, Ramona me and McCoulough were walking home and Ramona fell in a sewer!" 


 Angela and Frank met in a clothing factory in New York City. Angela was a seamstress and Frank was a Master tailor in the NYC garment district. Frank would write Angela love notes in Italian. Frank had a house built in New Jersey (421 La Salle Ave in Hasbrouck Heights) where he took care of his mother. Angela and Frank were married at Saint Anne's Church in NYC on April 23rd, 1916. Frank's sister, Rosa made Angela's gown. (Which I have saved.) Angela came to live in Frank's house and cared for Frank's mother, Francesca. Angela was the oldest of five siblings, Philomenia, Josephina, Vincenza, and Alfredo.


Grace's Dad was a young boy growing up in Palermo, Sicily. Francesco was born January 6th, 1894 to Francesca Bellavia and Pietro Cuttitta. Here too, many of the population of Italians immigrating to America came from Sicily since the economic conditions were very hard. Francesco's (Frank's) family bought the tickets to America, which were expensive and not easy to obtain. When the time came for the family to make the trip across the Atlantic, he had a bout of measles. He couldn't travel. The family could not jeopardize not being able to make the trip , so they arranged for another family, who would leave Sicily at a later date, to bring Frank with them. But, because Frank's ticket was for an earlier date, he would need to be a sto-away, without a ticket. He too, made the trip crossing the Atlantic to New York City where he met up with his family, including his sibs, Antonio, Guiseppe, and Rosalina. One sister remained in Sicily. Frank was the youngest in the family and he didn't like school. Whenever he was brought to school, he would run out the back door. Frank self taught himself how to read and speak English and also learned how to be a Master tailor in the NYC garment district. He loved his garden and dreamed of buying land in upstate New York to have a farm. Frank dressed up all the time and made beautiful coats for everyone with hand stitched initials to personalized each garment. Frank was a quiet, very religious, family man. It's easy to see how Angelina and Frank influenced Grace's love of family.

 Grace would like to tell the story of when her Mom and Dad arrived in America. Her mother, Angelina Catania was born November 8th, 1896, in Catania, Sicily. Angelina would tell Grace stories of her Uncles passing by her house and singing to Angelina. So Angelina would come to the balcony to see her Uncles as they passed by from work. Her father, Vito, as well as her Uncles, worked in the grain trade industry. They all would make frequent trips to both Argentina and to New York City to sell grain. Her Uncles decided to escape the hard economic times of Sicily and moved to Argentina. But Angelina's father preferred New York City. One day they left their home in Catania, with the intention of coming back, but they never did. Around 1910 they boarded a ship to America and never looked back. Angelina's uncles made occasional trips to visit Vito in NYC, and later in New Jersey, but as time passed, that became more rare. Seeing pictures of her Uncles displayed the uncanny likeness in the strength of genes!

 Before covid, whenever Grace needed a tune up and was at the hospital, when Gianni came to visit, the first thing he would do would be to get in her bed to lay down next to her. Sometimes it was to get closer access to shovel food into her when she had no appetite. But often, it was just to sit close to Gracie. Dr Strobis thought it was so cute. Dr Stobis still talks about the time when Gianni was a toddler and told the Dr that he was going to punch Santa Claus. Dr John Strobis was a rare, caring and attentive doctor. He's been a family doctor for Grace and Jim for maybe 30 years. On the second day Grace was hospitalized, on this final hospitalization, Dr Strobis called me.  He said, “Hi Pat, I just saw your Mom.  She was so happy to talk about her Grandchildren, and GreatGrandchildren.  She told me, ‘I love you Dr Strobis’ And I said, ‘I love you, too.’”   It was just after that, that the sepsis from the infected dialysis port that “Dr Vigo-Vigo '' refused to change got to her heart and Grace suffered a cardiac arrest. Dr Strobis fought for her with less caring hospital medical personnel, who treated Grace as a useless old woman. Dr Strobis prayed for her, and when Grace passed, he cried. 

Grace was blind, she saw some shadows, but essentially could not see.  She didn't want TV saying, what good is it, if I can't see it or follow the stories.  Regardless, Jimmy brought her home a TV.  And she loved listening to her favorite shows, especially Judge Judy and President Donald Trump.  Grace loved the story of the Hebrides Bible and she could argue to support Trump's issues.  But for the times between when her favorite shows were broadcast, Vincent got Gracie an Alexa, to listen to swing music, crime stories, ask the time, and Drop in on Vincent if ever there was an urgent need, or just to say "Hello" to him, and Frankie. Frankie would Drop in on Gracie as well as  visit her in person, one to three times a day. When Gracie would hear that little voice, she would say, "I love you, my Honeybunch!" And Frankie would respond, " I love YOU, my Honeybunch!!! "


 At the end, while in the hospital, the pain was becoming more and more a part of her day. In the past, we stood with her through the lungs filling with fluid, kidney failure, amputation, and the many other issues she suffered. But now, the hospital used the excuse of covid. She was left alone, unprotected. Grace had no advocate, There was no one to see that she was fed, or had her meds. She was blind, bedridden, and alone. There were times Grace would say she had enough. But on her last days , Grace wanted to come home and have a party with Vincent making the meatballs, cannolis and have all her family near. Gracie did make it home and everyone of her family members were there with her when she took her last breath. It wasn't a fancy life. She didn't live an extravagant life. But each home she was in, whether her father's home, her home with Jim, or her home where she was the magnet for her future generations, she was surrounded by family and was happy. We should all have that fortune. We love you Gracie and Miss you Gracie.

 Maria Grazia was born November 10th, 1928 to Francesco and Angelina. She grew up on LaSalle Avenue, in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey. The house number was 421, which has seen a lot of lottery play. She shared a room with her 3 sisters. Her four brothers shared a second bedroom. Her house was surrounded by other homes, to the side and to the back, where uncles and their families lived. She went to Corpus Christi Church and then Euclid Elementary and Hasbrouck Heights High School, where she was the captain of her basketball team. Near the end of her junior year, she had a severe case of tonsillitis. Grace would talk about how the doctor put a knife down her throat to lance the infection. She passed out and needed to be carried home. I guess the amount of school that was missed was motivation not to return to school. Grace never finished high school. Like so many others at that time, she went off to work sewing at different factories, to help with expenses at home. She was always surrounded by good family and good friends. After meeting Jim, and getting married in 1949, she found herself surrounded by Jim’s family, who also were close-knit, and more than welcomed her. Grace and Jim moved to Florida, where she was always the central focus of her grandchildren and great grandchild.  Gianni always jumping in her bed to be near and Frankie calling and visiting. She couldn't have been more happy when they were near. 

 One day, when my father was outside doing yard work with his tools, the wheelbarrow, the shovels, etc., he stopped his work to talk to a neighbor outside. They saw a snake withering on the street, so my father threw a shovel, like a javelin, and got the snake behind the head. Who would have thought he missed his calling for the Olympics! But even better was during WWII when he was going through India and Burma, he was at a desk in a tent and a cobra was near his feet. He always talked of how amazed he was that a Texas sharp shooter showed up at a window and shot that snake right at his feet!  Wow. There were times he had an angel on his shoulder! He was part of the Army- Air force lithographic unit making bomb charts for the Air force.  
Yet another snake story was when Grace and I my son, Jimmy were on the patio   I was coming out the family room door and the snake was trying to get in. I ran for some ammonia and deterred him!!! It was probably a garden snake, but creepy in the house! But it does not replace the time Grace, Angela, and her dog, Vita were on the patio.  It wasn't a snake, but Vita caught a big lizard and threw it up in the air.  All that Grace and Angela could see was this long tail descending on them from above! What else could it be but a snake!  So they screamed, while Vita watched, wide eyed for the reptile to drop!


Grace's father love to garden.  On the little patch of property he had in New Jersey, he grew those great Jersey tomatoes, figs, spices, grapes, and fruit tress.  Grace's Mom and Dad would can fresh tomatoes for sauce and make home made pasta/  I can still remember the smell in the basement where all the tomato processing took place.  It was a beautiful time.  They also made fresh bread, and all the great Italian foods, while Grace's sister Fran, was the baker in the family.   The things Grace liked to eat was lasagna with homemade pasta, cuccidatas, and the memory of a beautiful birthday cake Grace's Mom made for her. One sandwich she loved was scrambled eggs with tomato slices, but in later years, "Now, I can't even look at that!" :-) 

And Someone died “, was always a popular finale sentence in many stories that Grace would tell.  Grace’s mission was to spook us from things that she considered dangerous to do, which was nearly everything. I think after we caught on to the endings of these tales . ... “ and someone died?” She wouldn’t tell them as much anymore.  We came to look forward to the stories and missed them when we no longer heard them.

 Gracie helped out a friend make her sales quota by buying one of the friend's  raffle tickets. Grace won the raffle! The prize was a 7" TV! Grace and her 7 siblings would all take positions on the steps to be able to see the screen. Eventually, the TV burned up. But, Grace's Dad bought another for the family to enjoy. Grace used to watch shows like Texas, and Milton Berle  

 From a book called, "Grandma, Tell Me Your Story," which sadly, was never completed: Question: Did you have pets? Grace answered, “We had one dog that was black that we called Blackie. We also had a small white dog we named Yammy, after a potato. Once we had a cat that brought a live snake in the house and scared us all. Another time a big bird flew down and almost carried away my brother Vic.”


I remember a time when Grace was having to deal with a dislocated jaw. I don't recall how it happened other than it just popped out of place. Apparently, at that time, the dentist was the person to treat a jaw problem. The Passaic dentist Grace was seeing said he learned of a new procedure that would secure the jaw from repeatedly popping out of place again. He told Grace that was what she should do to fix the jaw. Grace trusted him. The dentist described the process as placing a rod like substance through the jaw on each side. The dentist said that since this remedy is so new, he wanted his associates to observe what he would do. Grace agreed to the painful procedure and to the student dentists observation. The observation did not last long for one dentist. As soon as Grace's dentist began drilling into her jaw, the dentist being trained, passed out and landed on the floor. 

Whenever Grace had a need to go to the hospital, periodically, we' d hear "Lullaby" play over the hospital speaker system. Sometimes it would play twice in a row and even three times in a row. Each time the music played meant a baby was just born. And every time Grace heard the music, she would say, “Awwwww, that's so sweet. How cute!" Grace loved all babies. Nothing made her happier than to be surrounded by babies and children.

 Growing up, Gracie cooked all traditional Italian dishes. We also had steak but typically it was some version of pasta. Aside from going to Barcelona's restaurant, in Garfield, for mussels and pizza ( I think they still have 1940's pricing), we never went to restaurants. I think the first was when I was in 8th grade and all the family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc went to a Chinese restaurant. In other words, we were only accustomed to certain tastes. Macaroni and cheese was a no-no. Grill cheese or tuna sandwiches, absolutely not. But, over the years, tastes change and habits change. In the later years, Grace's appetite diminished. She came to like grilled cheese sandwiches. So, knowing she would eat that in the morning, I'd start adding eggs, with a caffe (protein) as her coffee. Breakfast was a meal she was willing to eat. "Pat, just make it with one egg " "Okay! Will do!" And sometimes I'd try to get 3 eggs in there! Whatever protein I could get in her, to provide the needs for dialysis, I would do. I'd try to make old recipes that she liked, and I'd hear, " Did you use ( ingredient)??? It doesn't taste like it!" (Interpretation: I don't like the way you make it and I don't want to eat." ) BUT, if Vincent made the same exact thing and ran over to bring her dinner, I'd hear, "This is so delicious!". Which was fine. Anything to get food in her was good. Especially when she got home from dialysis days. Then she'd look forward to a simple grilled cheese sandwich.


 Gracie always wanted me to buy a lottery ticket. She always wanted me to win so that life wouldn't be such a struggle. But whenever I'd ask her, "Okay, give me numbers you'd want to play" I knew there was no chance to win. "Oh, ok, I'll just give away some beans down at Publix ''.  Not that there wasn't a chance, but when the numbers were in consecutive order, it was more of, “ Okay, I'll make her happy and play the numbers”. She's always like to play 421. That was the house number where she grew up in Hasbrouck Heights. Once in a while she would win $2.00, but rarely. Her sister Anna had a little better winning streak at the lottery, Atlantic City, or even Bingo at the church. I have a memory of the winners of the lottery. I was a girl scout leader, CCD teacher, Boy Scout leader, baseball coach, teacher of kids chemistry in the public schools, among other things. One day, I saw a boy scout parent of my group on TV being interviewed. "How does it feel to win the lottery twice, Joe?" WHAT??? Joe's response was he was glad he won because he was running out of money. Apparently Joe won something like 14 million in Ohio and another 6 million in Florida. The press also asked Joe, "What's your secret to winning the lottery jackpot?" Joe's secret to winning was to watch jeopardy in the nude. Knowing the formula to win, I quickly brought that information to Grace!!! But, she wouldn’t go for it! :-) Needless to say, we continued our losing streak

 I had a dog. His name was Ashee. Ashee was so sweet to me and Grace. If you held him upside down, like a baby, he'd lick your nose and fall asleep. He was a little ball-a-butta. But not everyone liked Ashee. With others, he was a scared baby. He'd run under chairs and bark. One day, at Gracie's house, Ashee was surprised by my son, Johnny, walking in the family room to visit Grace. Ashee was scared out of his little brain to unexpectedly see Johnny! Ashee jumped on Gracie's lap and let out some poop. Disgusting, yes, but Gracie, as always, took it in her stride and found it hysterical. Who else would have remained so calm? Good natured Grace!

 When I was young, we'd always go over to Grace and Jim's house. Invariably, I would beg and plead to be able to spend the night. Grace would build forts in the garage using the clothes line, or fill an inflatable pool for us to play in, or give us soap to blow bubbles. Waking up, she always had eggs and toast ready and would sing one of two songs to me "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." and "Good morning to you. Good morning to you. We're all in our places with sunshiny faces. How do you do? Good morning to you." On special days, we'd walk from her house to McDonalds, with a stop at Kay Bee toy store for a toy. We'd then go to James A Rutherford park to walk the boardwalk. For lunch, she made me salami and cheese sandwiches. She taught me to cook and so many other things. To this day, there's nothing more that I loved in the world than being with her at her house.  “To market to market to buy a fat pig, home again, home again, jiggety jig”


Vincent developed an application to scan things without a hard drive (although I may be explaining this wrong as everyone knows  am technically challenged).  Vincent scanned Gracie in her most normal and natural of positions, holding a baby.  That was her world.  That made her the most happy.  The scan was an impromptu, of Grace and Frankie.  Vincent made a sample of his project in the alabaster red.  The sample does not show the fine details, but here is Grace, forever immortalized , holding a little one, lovingly. 

Years ago, I had mentioned that a dialysis PA told Gracie to have me put her in hospice to die, as she had no quality of life, according to Kathy Custer. I know I stated in another memory that Kathy progressively reduced Grace's time on the dialysis machine so the toxins never fully got filtered out. Four hours is minimum, and Grace had been reduced to 2.5 hours on the machine. Grace ALWAYS had her mind, except for the poisoning with toxins. One imagination had her outside in the street. No amount of convincing could make her accept she was in her bed in her own room. She would get mad and yell, "At least put me in the garage!!! Don't leave me where the animals are going to get me." (It was funny but also sad.) She had visions of being up in the trees with Jimmy, shooting bad guys. She saw people and flowers on the wall. One time she was skiing down a mountain. Then of course there was the time she called an emergency when she thought her bed was rushing down a mountain into a lake. I reported the PA for her despicable INTENTIONAL actions and got Gracie to a new nephrologist. 180 degree turn around. Gracie was back! Lucid and coherent as ever. If you asked Gracie, "Do you remember when you were crazy?" And she remembered everything she said and everything she imagined! It must have been scary not to have control. Those toxin days she would go without sleep for close to three days at a time. And all during those 72 hours, I would hear, "Pat! Patricia! Patty!" We really welcomed back Gracie now that she is back on a prescribed dialysis regimen.!!

 Sometimes, when Gracie was talking to friends or family, I'd overhear her say, "My daughter really gave it to them for what they were doing." It would make me smile. She knew I was looking out for her as best as I could. Gracie was too shy to say anything on her own behalf. And, to avoid speaking up for herself, she would use the excuse, "I can't see!" No one (family, etc) is allowed in the dialysis center, mostly to prevent contamination. But periodically Gracie would come home with her port completely exposed...uncovered, accessible for contamination. I would tell her, "Before they finish with you, ask them, is the port covered?" No. she was too shy. She didn't want to trouble anyone so she would say, "But Pat! How can I do that! I can't see!"  

Gracie loved puppies. She was so happy to have Jimmy's new white swiss shepherd on her bed and fall asleep near her. Gracie always talked of a beautiful all white dog that she had. It was named Yammy. But Yammy was a little rambunctious. Apparently Yammy would run away and was hard to find. One day Yammy ran away and was never found. But Gracie talked about that dog forever. Jimmy received his puppy, flown in from California, on January 25th, as a birthday present to himself.  He brought Avalance to visit Gracie that same day.  He was about 20 pounds or more as a baby but would add the LBS quickly and eventually get to over 100 pounds.  There is a video of Gracie and Avalanche.  She was so happy. "Oh, how sweet!  How cute!  He's so soft!  I love him!" And, Avalanche feel asleep in Gracie's arms.  Avalanche was visiting Gracie the night we brought her in to the hospital for the last time.

Growing up, Gracie cooked all traditional Italian dishes. We also had steak but typically it was some version of pasta. Aside from going to Barcelona's restaurant, in Garfield, for mussels and pizza ( I think they still have 1940's pricing), we never went to restaurants. I think the first was when I was in 8th grade and all the family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc went to a Chinese restaurant. In other words, we were only accustomed to certain tastes. Macaroni and cheese was a no-no. Grill cheese or tuna sandwiches, absolutely not. But, over the years, tastes change and habits change. In the later years, Grace's appetite diminished. She came to like grilled cheese sandwiches. So, knowing she would eat that in the morning, I'd start adding eggs, with a caffe (protein) as her coffee. Breakfast was a meal she was willing to eat. "Pat, just make it with one egg " "Okay! Will do!" And sometimes I'd try to get 3 eggs in there! Whatever protein I could get in her, to provide the needs for dialysis, I would do. I'd try to make old recipes that she liked, and I'd hear, " Did you use ( ingredient)??? It doesn't taste like it!" (Interpretation: I don't like the way you make it and I don't want to eat." ) BUT, if Vincent made the same exact thing and ran over to bring her dinner, I'd hear, "This is so delicious!". Which was fine. Anything to get food in her was good. Especially when she got home from dialysis days. Then she'd look forward to a simple grilled cheese sandwich.


Everybody has a Rocco in their family. Rocco married Gracie's sister RoseMarie. Aunt Rosie had passed from cancer. They had no children. Rocco was living in NJ alone,  with help from Grace's brother, Vic, and daughter, Cheryl. But it was winter in Jersey and Grace was in sunny Florida. Rocco began calling Grace 3 X/day.   "I want to come to Florida. Can I stay with you." Grace looked at Rocco as family. Generously, she said, “Sure, you can come and stay with me.” That was around the time Grace was losing her eyesight.  I was helping her with daily living needs. but, I thought it might be nice for the two of them to feel like there was still family around. I didn't expect what evolved. As well as me taking Rocco to doctor appmts, lab tests, hearing tests, and whatever he wanted, Grace was preparing Rocco three hot meals a day, and I'd hear. "Grace! I need ice in my water! Grace, this glass is too heavy! Grace! I need a pillow! Grace, I want the meatballs and sauce!" My father would be turning in his grave if he knew how Rocco was taking advantage of Grace! She was not feeling that well yet she waited on him hand and foot and never complained. BUT, one day, she knocked on his door and said, "Rocco, your breakfast is ready." But Rocco pretended to be sleeping. The next thing that happened was Grace calling me at the hospital, where I was working. Grace was in tears! "What's going on!?!?" She said three cop cars surrounded the house because after Grace told him breakfast was ready, he called the police and told them he was being held hostage!!! I was working 70 hours a week at 2 jobs, so Rocco was mad that he wasn't being brought to jai alai, the dog track, the casinos, etc.. He figured this was a  Florida vacation and we owed it to him to entertain him. With as much as Grace catered to Rocco’s every whim, and to have Rocco threaten Grace with the police, I left work, packed his bags, scheduled a flight, and called a taxi. Grace did not that!

Frankie is such a quick learner.  He can explain bacteria to you and tell you about things that live in the sea.  Frankie loves technology and using Alexa was no challenge at all.  Every morning Frankie would get the Alexa to Drop In on Gracie.  Both being terrible eaters, they would discuss their breakfast.  Frankie would eat pancakes with chocolate chips, and Gracie, although she never liked it or made it in all her prior years, enjoyed her grill cheese sandwich in the morning.  The conversation would move on to what time Frankie would arrive  at Gracie's later that day and what he would be bringing.  Invariably, the conversation would end with Gracie saying, "See you later Alligator!  I love you my Honeybunch!"  And, Frankie would answer, "I love YOU, my Honeybunch!"

Dad passed December 9th, 2002.  It was a horrible decision to have his leg amputated, but there was no alternative.  That took his life about 9 weeks later.  Dad hung on as much as he could.  He was afraid to go because he loved you, Grace, and would no longer be able too be your protector.  He was upset and said, "What's going to happen to Mom???  She'll be out on the street!"  I told him, "Do you think I would ever let that happen to her?"  You were everything to him and he would do anything for you and his family.  Dad loved you, Mom, and his family more than anything in the world. The next year, Steve passed with cancer, and ironically, his leg having clots and pain.  And then you facing an amputation...God Blessed you and you made it through. I hope I lived up to my promise to Dad. There's always more I could have done.  I just regret that you were isolated from us and abused the last days of your life.  "Covid" was the excuse to seclude you.  If not, I believe you would still be with us.  I am so sorry about not protecting you at the very end. You should have been with family!  I am so sorry you suffered.  It wasn't fair.  Not to you, or us.  God give you Peace.

 My father was in the hospital one December. I held resentment for the nurse that literally shoved him and pushed the life right out of him. That beach shoved him, he moaned, and we watched as the monitors for his oxygen decreased to 93 to 88 to 76 to..........all while that nurse smiled and snapped towels she decided to fold. It took me years to accept that, she set him free when there was no way out of his condition. It took many years. But as Grace and I left his room and got into my car, Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas'' was playing on the radio. And Gracie cried. Jump ahead years later and Vincent got Gracie an Alexa for Gracie  to drop in on him, or to play music, or to ask for Forensic Files types of stories. But Grace would ask Alexa to play Blue Christmas, and she would cry. Ok, no more. We're not playing Blue Christmas. For a while, that worked. We wouldn't ask to play Blue Christmas, and when she asked, it was always, "Alaska! Play Blue Christmas!" So we were safe. Finally she realized she had to ask Alexa, but she held back the tears, didn't show us her sadness, and she played, "Blue Christmas", over and over and over again.


I remember Uncle Frank and Aunt Angelina. I loved going to their house in Hasbrouck Heights, which was overlooking New York City. What a treat for us! Your family always came over and that’s how we got to know everyone. Grace and her sister, Aunt Anna Keossy were my favorites.

 I have a memory from when I was around three years old. In the house I grew up in, in Garfield, New Jersey. There was a hallway. The hallway was designed with a wood plank flooring. My father worked hard his whole life. I always recall him working two jobs to provide for his family. As such, my mother stepped up to do some of the upkeep on the house. This one day, Grace was varnishing the wood hallway floor. Just as she backed herself into the kitchen, and completed the hallway, I needed to get to the bathroom. Oh, the dilemma! The bathroom was halfway down the just varnished hall! So, Gracie told me to use the now empty varnish can. Which I did, but then I couldn't get the sticky varnish can off my arse! I guess she didn't expect me to sit on the can, but I couldn't hover over it! Even when I stood up, that can was on my butt!   (no photos to match this story!)

So, my little grandson Frankie, always saw me and Gracie together. I was with my mother about 18 hours a day. I think in his little mind, he saw us as a couple. So, tonight he asks me, " If Gracie's dead, how come you're not dead? You know the clock is ticking!"   LOL   Frank!!!!!


When Gracie was little, she had everyone looking and searching for her. No one could find her. Siblings searched for her, parents searched for her, neighbors searched for Gracie. Finally Gracie appeared......after her nap in the chickencoop

When I was 3 or 4 years old, I remember playing with a jar of pennies. Gracie was laying on the couch. For whatever reason, I dumped the jar of pennies on her stomach. Gracie continued to "sleep". I was beside myself, since even the weight of the pennies didn't wake her. ( in a Jersey accent), I said, " Oh! Did I kill her?" At which point, the pennies were flying all over the place, because she was laughing so hard.


I always remember going by your house and your mom was always cooking... she was always happy always laughing.. she always made you feel so comfortable.. she couldn't do enough.. she was a beautiful lady prayers go to her and your family... you are a great daughter and you had a great family... God bless you all. Love you cuz      Amelia Durante Pyskaty, daughter of Gracie’s first cousin Jennette (Lettie)

One year I had tickets to the last Orange bowl game. No one else was available so Gracie insisted on going just so that I wouldn't go alone. We got there and it was packed. There weren't any seats. We had no choice but to stand behind a wall that separated two sections of seats. The security guard came by and told us we had to move and find a seat. Seeing Gracie's age, he offered a disability area with a great view. We made it to the section, and a 280 pound guy, drunk as anything, became infuriated that we had good seats. He came running to attack Gracie. Another security guard interceded and they started fist fighting next to me. Meanwhile, Gracie is getting up ( to fight this guy) to protect me! “Gracie, Sit Down!!!”  We figured we provided enough entertainment, so we decided to leave, but not before the 280 lbs guy' s girlfriend decided to throw beer at us and start fist fighting with the same security guy who was fist fighting her boyfriend. Who knew Gracie was such a gansta!!!

 
There is a vague remembrance to a time when Gracie had a cat, and the cat passed away. " Grace, where are you going?" Gracie answered, "I have to plant the cat." 


I'm  making Gracie's soup recipe because I hate those can soups. I remember Gracie would laugh and tell me "Francie (Grace’s sister) would always call soup, belly wash".

 Gianni was a great(really good) Great Grandson. He would wash Gracie’s hair,, sweep her room, and also jump in the bed to sit beside Gracie . From when Gianni was little, and each time Gracie was in the hospital, Gianni would jump in the bed, especially of it was in the hospital, just to sit next to Grace.  Grace's doctor, Dr Strobis got a big kick out of Gianni wanting to be close to Gracie.   Gracie  loved Gianni.  She would always say. "He's such a sweet kid! I just love him!!!"  Gracie said that all the time about Gianni. She said it from the heart.  Gianni knew.

 It's not unusual, when one gets older, to have less of an appetite. So, Gracie would take a bite or two and say she's had enough. I would try to encourage her, but when that didn't work, we'd call in Gianni. Gianni assumed the attitude of "take no prisoners''. Once we asked Gianni to help Gracie eat, that spoon kept coming to her mouth before she could even chew the first bite. Gianni would shovel in the food like there's no tomorrow. Hence Gianni became known as the shovel master. Whenever Gracie turned down food, the threat was there..  "Do you want me to have to call the shovel master in?" She knew we were teasing her but Gianni really did a great job in getting nutrition in Gracie!  

Grace had such a sweet way about her. I remember her bright smile.She welcomed me into her home when I visited as a teenager. I think it was twice during the summer teenage years that we would stay at one another's homes. I felt like a country mouse visiting the city. I will look for photos I may have from those times. May the memories of Grace bring you Peace, and may you have happy times with the grandchildren and great grandchildren, who Grace loved with all her heart.
            Lena Grasso Beale, (first cousin, once removed)


Gracie never wanted much of anything. She never wanted gold jewelry, she didn't need to travel to be happy. Gracie just wanted the family around, to hear the kids playing, and even to know a puppy or two were nearby and part of the family. So, “what gift can I get you, Gracie? “ After pushing, "What can I get you for Christmas?" Gracie finally responded to Jimmy with, "A Mr Goodbar" . Gracie loved her chocolate. And, Jimmy ran out to get Gracie her chocolate.

Gracie always wanted to help. Gracie would help with anything, for anyone, and especially when someone wanted to do something for her. My father always worked hard for his family. I don't recall a time when he wasn't working two jobs to meet expenses and provide for his family. While he was at work, as families do, his brother Joe helped his younger brother. Joe was very talented in building things and took it upon himself to build a dormer. My brother and I were growing and the family needed the two additional bedrooms in the house. I learned how strong and capable Gracie was. While Uncle Joe hammered and measured and trimmed out windows, Gracie helped him by carrying plywood boards, across her back, and up the flight of stairs. Gracie would always jump right in to help, no matter how hard, no matter how dirty, no matter how exhausting, you could always depend on Gracie to help

Vincent, Johnny, and Jimmy were all Dolphin fans.  But there was a time, the team was not doing too well.  However, it seemed whenever Frankie  and Grace would suit-up for the game, the Dolphins would win!  Gracie also loved to wear the scapula bracelet from Vincent and appreciated his constant thoughtfulness for her when he would bring home stacking dolls from Russia, praying dolls from Indonesia, a ladle from Africa, and something from everyplace he had gone.  The wish at one time was to bring Grace to Sicily to see where her Mom and Dad grew up.  We got her a passport, but fate did not allow.  It never mattered to Grace.  She was content with whatever God gave her.

 Grace Spinella was born to Francesco (Frank) Cuttitta and Angela Catania on November 10th, 1928. She was named Maria Grazia, but she was always called Grace.
 
Grace was the sixth child of eight, born to Frank and Angela, in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey. Since she was young, she cared for her younger brothers and always had a warm, sincere, positive personality that attracted people to her.
 
As a youth, Grace was captain of her basketball team and began working in the sewing industry, first working for Masterbuilt. In 1948, Grace met James Spinella at a Church dance in Passaic, New Jersey. They were married June 26, 1949, and lived in Garfield, New Jersey. They had two children, James, and Patricia.
 
In 1970, Grace and James relocated to Boca Raton, Florida. They celebrated their 50th Anniversary among friends and family and were blessed to remain together until James' passing on December 9th, 2002.
 
Grace was a devout Roman Catholic and was always with her rosaries, praying for anyone in need and to honor the Lord. She loved knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, and sewing. Grace was an excellent cook and baker and loved teaching others to sew and cook. But, her greatest love was for children. She loved and was happiest when she could be around them. And they equally loved being around Grace. Grace was a simple woman, in that her sole devotion was to live for her family and be guided by the Lord. She was happy no matter the circumstance as long as she could be surrounded by kids and family. That was Grace's joy.
 
Grace faced many dire medical adversities yet always accepted each with a positive attitude and never complained. She had come to know many people by way of her adversities and each person she met, regarded her as family. They all loved Grace.
 
Grace Spinella passed away, at home on February 27th, 2021, surrounded by her family. She is survived by a son, James, in Woodridge, New Jersey, a daughter, Patricia Mamo, in Boca Raton, Florida, grandchildren, 

Gracie loved her chocolate! All she wanted for Christmas was a Mr Good bar, and Jimmy got that for her

Oh, how Grace hated to go to dialysis.  It was  hard enough to be tied up to a loud machine, in an uncomfortable  chair for four hours.  Being blind didn't help, and there was always some guy yelling he wanted off, "NOW!".   Sometimes "Joe", (who's real name was Winston) would kid around with Grace and say he wanted to marry her.  But when Joe was absent, his substitute would leave the port line exposed, a few times.  Any amount at all was jeopardizing the patient's life by contamination.   A week or so before Grace went into the hospital, she said they were talking about her port.  I called right away to say if there is a problem, I need to know about it ASAP.  "No, there is no problem.  The line is fine.", Delia said.  Had it been tested then, the outcome would have been different.  But, dialysis was required.  So Grace would ask if going to the clinic was necessary, already knowing the answer.  But however she felt about going, when her transporters, Manny and Emmanuel were at the door for her trip, she would always grin ear to ear.  They would sign Sinatra songs to her and bring her roses.  They mad her happy enough to look forward to the ride for her treatment.

Frankie was born on October 30th.  Coincidentally, October 30th is the date she lost her father, Frank.  Frankie had his 5th birthday party at Gracie's house (Oct 30, 2021)to make it easy for Grace to be a part of his happy day.  Frankie and Gianni had a good time riding the ponies and feeding them carrots.  But, I think Gracie enjoyed it more.  She smiled and laughed all day.

Arthur Godfrey was a well known radio host from the area where Gracie lived. Godfrey was a pilot and one day decided he would buzz Teterboro Airport. I don't know if that was an accident or intentional, but when Gracie and her sisters would retell the story it was always prefaced with, "whoooo, Remember that? " (and always add a little scream was added at the end of the story).

Gracie lived in Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey. Hasbrouck Heights wasn't very far from Hoboken, New Jersey. And, Hoboken happened to be the hometown of Frank Sinatra. I think Frank also lived in Hasbrouck Heights for a brief time. Gracie would love to tell the story of a family friend babysitting Nancy Sinatra. And, since where Gracie lived was only on the other side of the Lincoln Tunnel from New York City, "Ol' Blue Eyes'' would occasionally drive through her town. All the young ones would yell, "There he is! There goes Frank!". :-)

My dear Gracie, you have been an inspiration to me ever since I met you. Your face was filled with love and joy especially, when your children and your grandchildren were around you. I will never forget your 90th birthday party when your Beautiful daughter Pat honored you with one of your life's pleasures, having someone sing to you in Italian. I also know that you probably wanted to get up and dance to the beautiful music that he was playing, so I decided to hold your hand and dance with you. I will never forget the look on your face, It was the face of an Angel 😇 and I am sure that you want to say to your family to comfort them that death is not the end of life. Passing on through this life as we know it is the beginning of an eternal journey. God Bless and I’m sure I will see you in Heaven.                                                               Linda Deebs (friend of daughter, Patricia)


 I met Grace about 3 years ago when, at the behest of our Parish Priest, and began bringing her communion once a week.

Grace was a warm, sweet woman who had a very strong faith in God, liked to laugh, and enjoyed telling stories. But, what truly defined Grace was the tremendous love she had for her family, her daughter, Pat, her four grandchildren and her two great-grandchildren. Her voice and her face lit up when she spoke of Gianni and Frankie. Gianni was exceptionally athletic and Frankie exceptionally intelligent. Grace spoke fondly of Gianni's triumphs on the soccer field and Frankie's success in learning Italian. It was very clear, though, that what pleased her most was the love the boys had for one another.

Grace frequently spoke of Pat and her grandchildren and how grateful she was for all that they were doing to care for her in these last years. Particularly, Pat, who worked tirelessly to make her mother as comfortable as possible. I frequently told Grace that this was a tribute to the love that she bestowed upon her family throughout the decades.

God Bless her and may she rest in peace. 

Colleen Nouhan, Saint Joan of Arc, Eucharistic Minister, Boca Raton



Dear Gracie,
I can’t believe you are gone. It’s been very hard to process. You’ve been a huge part of our lives.  You’ve been in my life for 37 years! I am so sad to not have you here with us anymore but I know you are free of pain. You suffered so much at the end, it made us all feel helpless. I know Poppi is with you and Grandma Ange, your Dad, your sisters and brothers too.  I just can’t thank you enough for everything you did for all of us. You were so special in so many ways. I will always adore you, and cherish our memories together .You are such a kind hearted person with a beautiful soul. You never said anything bad to anybody or about anyone. You always remembered and cared about anything and everything mentioned to you. I truly felt your love was unconditional, Grandma, I can only wish to be half the woman you were. You were so selfless and never cared about material things. Your happiness solely came from the love of your family. You taught me how to cook, to be responsible with my money, and to take care of myself. You colored with me, and did my hair, you listened to me and you were interested in what I had to say. You always paid attention to everything that was important to me.

You did everything right. I just can’t thank you enough for what you gave me. It is priceless. I will carry your love and memory with me for the rest of my life. I will always remind Gianni about you and the tremendous way you lived your life. I believe you are still living on, with your spirit, I believe in life after death and I believe you are in God‘s paradise and surrounded by love. There is no one more deserving then you, sweet Grandma. For this I have comfort in your departing.

For you, now time does not exist anymore. For me, I will live my life in your honor and I will be with you one day and we will share our love for one another in heaven, together. Until then, I will miss you every day. You can always visit in dreams . I love you so much grandma Gracie.      


cGod Bless you Gracie. What an honor it has been to know you and have you as part of our lives. You will live on in our hearts forever and may you "Grace" our lives everyday day with your ever presence. We know you will be watching over us, and what a blessing that will be. We send you all our love as you rest with the angels tonight.

Hey guys,

Let me just preface this by again expressing how infinitely sorry I am for your loss. My Gracie story started just over 10 years ago when I met all the Mamos at Vince's PhD physics defense, but her legend far preceded her. You can't know Vince without knowing about Gracie and how important she is to him. Gracie's warmth and unconditional love for her family was hard to miss and it is also very clear how much of an impact she's had on all her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Gracie treated me like an honorary Mamo. I always felt welcome and happy to join Vince on a call with Gracie. I was even fortunate enough to be able to spend Christmas at Gracie's. She was an absolutely kind person with a heart of gold and just a brief 5 minute chat would leave you with a smile for the rest of the day. Gracie was such a bright light that it was often difficult to tell that she may be tired from dialysis or otherwise not feeling great while talking to you. It was clear that, for Gracie, family was all that mattered. She would often tell me "I love that boy," referring to Frank (Vincent's son).

I was particularly happy that Vince got to meet my grandmother in Moscow, who would often ask about Gracie. We realized and often joked about how similar our grandmothers were, with the exception of the language and the food. It touched my heart to be able to relay messages of greetings between my grandmother and Gracie.

Gracie was an amazing person. We love you Mamos and are here for and with you.
-Aleks Kesselman, close friend of Vincent (Grandson to Grace)


 This is my memo for Grace.   For two years I happily worked as an aide to Ms. Gracie.  I can never forget her sweet smile when she knew I was there. I admired her so much because she was so courageous and uncomplaining.  I miss her.

Gracie lost her vision except for seeing shadows in one eye. When my Uncle Charlie learned of her vision loss, his response was, "Boy! And she could cook!!!". Gracie was a very good cook. Her talents were greatly missed, especially by Uncle Charlie!

My father would tell me of other dates he had. One girl,in particular my Dad described as," She was a nice girl. She was very pretty. But when she took me home to meet her mother, I couldn't run out the door fast enough. But your mother( Grace,) was a good hearted person. She was kind, respectful and had a good family. She always took care of her younger brothers. You knew she was sincere.". Jim chose very selectively and in doing so, we got Gracie. We all won.

Gracie would tell me about the night she met "Jay Spa" (Jim Spinella). She was supposed to go to a dance at a church in Passaic with a girl friend. The night brought the rain, so Grace changed her mind and didn't want to go. The friend insisted Grace go to the dance, as there was a guy the friend planned to meet up with at the dance. The friend pleaded, "You promised", so Gracie complied. Her future husband was also at the dance and saw a very pretty lady.  Jim asked if he could buy her a soda, and Gracie said, " only if you buy sodas for my friends, too". So Jim bought the four of them sodas. They drank their sodas, but Jim tried to get a smile from Grace by making noise, like when you try to draw up the last drop in the glass, but it's gone. Jim asked for Gracie's phone number. Gracie wouldn't give it out, but her friend blurted it out. From there, Jim called for a date. He arrived in his patched up car with crates as car seats. I'm sure it was the souped up car that impressed Gracie and won her over.  

When I was 3 or 4 years old, I remember playing with a jar of pennies. Gracie was laying on the couch. For whatever reason, I dumped the jar of pennies on her stomach. Gracie continued to "sleep". I was beside myself, since even the weight of the pennies didn't wake her. ( in a Jersey accent), I said, " Oh! Did I kill her?" At which point, the pennies were flying all over the place, because she was laughing so hard.


Gracie's exposure to dealings with the outside world was limited. Aside from her family always near Grace, her last years had radio listening, as the main exposure to the world. Commercials would come on.  Barry's Vitamins was one sponsor on a station she would frequently tune in to.  Out of interest for me, she made Vincent go to Barry’s Vitamins (a station sponsor) and buy some vitamins that would be a substitute for my prescription blood pressure med. She also  heard how beautiful a new community being built  in Jupiter was. To make her happy, I took her there to see it.  But when we arrived, she had no interest in seeing the models.  Another time, someone told her about Black Forest cake.  She said she liked it, although I don't remember her ever having it. Vincent bought her the Black Forest cake for her birthday. Since it was chocolate, she loved it.   

We all knew Vincent was her favorite but she kept calling me her hero after I helped her from delirium , so I'll take that!
Unfortunately, many in the medical field want to be in charge of deciding what constitutes quality of life.  One dialysis clinic had a PA who would approach Gracie and say, " Grace, you have no quality of life, tell your daughter to put you in hospice. ". Gracie just celebrated her 90th birthday. She didn't have a teenager's health, but she enjoyed the singer and bed dancing. She LOVED when her great grandkids, Gianni and Frankie climbed in her bed to snuggle and be near her. She enjoyed puppies and everyone who came near. I wasn't going to take that from her. When Kathy Custer , PA, realized I had no intention of killing my mother, Kathy continually reduced Gracie's time on dialysis from 4 hours (a minimum) to 3 hours and reduced the time further to 2.5 hours. With insufficient dialysis, the toxins built up.  Gracie was " healthy" but being intentionally destroyed by Kathy. Grace needed hospitalization again. Thankfully her primary care doctor, Dr Strobis, switched nephrologists, and once again, the phoenix came home.  But before we brought her in to the hospital, the toxins caused delusions. One delusion was that she was sliding down a big hill into water. No amount of rationale could convince her otherwise. I think that was a night when Jimmy was staying at her house. Gracie also had a Medical Alert alarm. To save herself from the raging waters, Gracie called in an emergency. The emergency contact called and asked if Grace was alright.  Of course!  I told them we were having a delusional issue. Despite that, the Medical Alert company called the ambulance at a cost of $1000+. I called the Medical Alert back to say, "I am not paying $1000 for an ambulance you called, when the emergency is Gracie sliding down a hill in a hospital bed, into a lake!"                 

Gracie had been on dialysis for maybe 9 years or more. Maybe 5 of those years I was able to do peritoneal dialysis for her at home. But, as had happened before, bacteria would adhere to the tubes and cause infection in the dialysis port. Fortunately, in the past, the infection was detected early, treated, and Gracie would recover. But when the peritoneal tube came out, a hemodialysis tube was inserted. The hemodialysis treatment meant she would have to travel to a hemodialysis clinic three times a week, for four hour treatment each day. Due to her amputation, I could no longer get Gracie around in my car. She required stretcher transport to the dialysis treatments to the hemodialysis clinic.  Manny and Emanuel became her regular transporters. They loved Gracie. She was their Principesa. They brought her flowers and treated her as if she was their own mother. When Gracie would say, "I hate to be there, I don't want to go!", Manny and Emanuel would show up and she was all smiles as they picked her up and went out the door. They'd play Sinatra in the van and sing to her, and she'd be happy.  

We (our family, as well as cousins, etc)  were around Gracie's Mom and Dad a few times a week, if not more.  But, Sundays were reserved for my paternal Grandma and family.  My father, and his five brothers would take turns on Sundays having his Mom, Grandma Carmella over for Sunday spaghetti and meatballs. Later in the day, the rest of Dad's brothers and their family would come a little later in the afternoon.  We'd have antipasta, cold cuts,with fresh hot Gerbino’s Italian bread, cannolis, pignoli’s. Ricotta casada and other pastries from D’Anna’s bakery. The first stop after picking up Grandma  would always be to visit her husband at St. Nickolaus Cemetery, bringing water and flowers. The ride home was interesting, since every car break-stop had my Grandma Carmella gasping as if we were headed into a major collision. Grandma was from the old country. "Big Grandma", (as opposed to Gracie's mom, " Little Grandma"), loved to come to Gracie's house. She loved Gracie's cooking. One particular summer Sunday when Grandma was at our house,the weather was beautiful. We sat out in the backyard, under the oak tree that her husband (Grandpa Giuseppe) planted. Coming from a very poor existence in Palermo, Sicily, Grandma showed us how you can eat acorns that dropped from the tree. As we sat in the yard, before the rest of the family arrived, my father decided to complete some work on the dormer that was being built. So, he climbed the ladder to the second floor to do the work. My Grandma was so upset! She was so worried that my father might fall or get hurt. She was just so upset seeing my Dad on that ladder! I think it was Gracie's idea to settle my Grandma down by tying my Dad to the house. (lol) So Gracie ran upstairs and thread a rope through one window, around my Dad, and through the next window. My Dad was tied to the house by Gracie and Grandma calmed down!   I wish I had a picture.     Pictured: Spinella brothers, Steve, Charlie, Jim, Pete, and Sal.  (missing is Joe)

That's hilarious, her saying "oh, Vincent!" Jimmy must have been thrilled at that. My (favorite) dad, the aforementioned 'Uncle Charlie' loved Grace so much. I can only hope they are together with Uncle Jim right now having cannoli, and who knows what else to eat! I loved her too, she was a wonderful woman, and yes, always was offering us food and the best food!! I recall visiting and your dad (Jim) saying, “I have more stories for you from my insurance days. I could give you some of them on tape for the ride home!!” Meanwhile my dad would say, "Give us the short version." But back to Grace, may she rest in peace.  We all have amazing memories of her, even going back to Garfield, New Jersey, when Ken and I spent a week with you guys. Ken was like, "why doesn't our mom cook like this, or get up to make us breakfast?"

My Uncle Charlie would call everyone his favorite. "Hello, my favorite niece" " Hello my favorite sister-in-law". EVERYONE was his favorite. " Favorite " was more of a salutation, than it was a description. We (my family), copied Uncle Charlie. I called each of my sons, " My Favorite " as well as my only daughter, "My Favorite daughter".  One day, my youngest son Jimmy, went to visit Gracie. He walked in and said, " Hi, Gracie!". Being blind, she said, "Who is that?". Jimmy answered, " Your favorite Grandson!" So, Gracie answered, "Oh, Vincent!!!!"        And, Jimmy responded "I knew it!" 
 Hahaha - 


My father always loved animals, although he wasn't fond of us kids having pets. I developed the same fondness of animals, in particular, dogs. Two houses away, I would play with the girls who lived there. They had a dog. The dog was near us in the backyard. I reached down to pet the dog, and he jumped up to rip my face open. The neighbors rushed me in the house to wash off my face in the kitchen sink. All I could see was like a faucet of blood going down the drain. Once again, like radar, Gracie knew the screams of her daughter.  Like a bullet, she was out of her house and at my side in the neighbor’s kitchen.The neighbor drove me and Gracie to the hospital where they stitched up my face. I was seven years old at the time. That was the weekend I was supposed to attend confession before Sunday's First Holy Communion at Our Lady of Sorrows, in Garfield. When I didn't show up, the Nun called to yell at Gracie for not taking me to church. With that call, as with every call that reached out to Gracie about my condition, (I was fine), but Gracie would burst out in tears, suffering with the thought that her daughter’s face was hurt. I'd always run for a handkerchief, if Gracie had to talk about my injury  

When I was in high school, I attended a club meeting that was held at night. As I did time after time, I'd walk to the the high school, where the meeting was held, and walk home again. One night, I was almost home.  I crossed over one street.  My street was only another two houses to walk by, until I could turn down the block where I lived. The blocks were about 20 houses down the block by two houses at the corner. As I crossed the first street, I saw a man at the far end of the street. I didn't think anything of it. I passed by two houses and turned down my street. I was almost home. Before I knew it, the man from the far end of the first block, was right behind me. I moved to the right so he could pass me. That's about when he grabbed my purse and punched me like a 2" X 4" wood hit my face. He knocked me to the ground. The local funeral director was out, walking his dog and started blowing a whistle, so the mugger ran. I knocked on a neighbors door who was upset that I might be waking her husband. She finally let me in to make two calls. I called the police and then I called Gracie. I told her what happened and I told her to lock the doors and stay inside because a crazy guy is running around our block. The police came and I was outside to talk to them. But who do I see running up the block to protect her daughter? It was Gracie.  Gracie was always there for her kids, without any regard for herself and her safety.   

A few weeks after my husband Charlie died of lung cancer I got the bad news about Steve (Pat’s husband) dying only days apart of the same disease. Pat and I would share reports of our husbands while we hopelessly knew the outcome. Despite all the family was going through, Gracie invited me to stay with her when I came to pay my respects. Her immeasurable hospitality and wisdom provided me comfort during my own grieving process. Although I remember the Spinellas mostly from my high school days and many years have gone by, we reminisced about Garfield and family and as 2 widows would speak lovingly of our husbands while she prepared something good to eat. Sweet Gracie you will always be lovingly remembered.      Rest in peace Gracie
My heart hurts and I will cherish your warmth, loving ways and time shared generously. Rest in peace. 🙏
 Marybeth Valentino (friend of Patricia)


There is a story that Gracie would often tell. Where Gracie grew up, in Bergen County, New Jersey, there was a lot of open space, at the time. Grace’s father always dreamed of having a farm, but he would have to make do, with the limited space adjacent to his house, until future homes filled those empty lots. Grandpa grew many vegetables and fruits. From tomatoes, to three varieties of grapes, to figs, roses, basil and other spices. For the kids,the open fields were an adventure land. Grace’s brother Pete built a tree house in those fields. Pete made a make-shift zip-line between the trees. He took Gracie on a ride, putting his feet out to stop the ride between the two trees that created the ride. Then he asked Gracie if she'd want to ride by herself. Sure. Why not! But it slipped Pete's mind to mention how to stop. So, there goes Gracie, sailing down the zip line and gets plastered against the tree. Gracie broke both arms and dropped to the ground, and passed out. Her Mom, the most docile person you'd want to meet, gave Gracie a spanking for not listening to her and getting hurt. I guess that's how my father came to call her piedi tu.        (The photo is of Grace's brother Vic, her mother, Angela, and Gracie at about the age she broke both her arms)


Gracie had three sisters. It was interesting that on many occasions, and whiled they shopped separately, the sisters would buy the same greeting card, blouse, scarf, etc.    

I remember, when I was a kid, my father bought a car for Gracie. She was always afraid to drive. As kids, had we had more awareness, we would have been afraid to drive with her. Gracie never went anywhere, but to practice her " skills", she would drive around the block. If my brother and I had to drive around the block with her, we were required to "get down in the back!" That didn't mean, " do not stand." It meant, " lay down on the floor ' ( to protect us in case of an accident. ). If I recall, Gracie only had the car a couple of weeks. 

OBITUARIO

Grace Cuttitta Spinella

10 noviembre, 1928 – 27 febrero, 2021

Babione-Kraeer Funeral Home & Cremation Center

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