Antonio "Tony" Gonzalez

Sept. 29, 1933 – Dec. 2, 2012

Tony Gonzalez was born on September 29th, 1933 in New York City to Maria Isabelle AKA “Mary” Colón, born in Puerto Rico, and Augustin Gonzalez, born in Salamanca, Spain. Augustin died when Tony was an infant. Mary never remarried and raised Tony by herself in New York City. As a young boy, Tony found odd jobs to help out his mother. He also enjoyed playing street stickball and body building with his friends which, as the girls would say, contributed to his very fit and handsome physique.

In 1948, the Lugo family moved from Puerto Rico to New York City, right across the street from Tony. At the time, Nilsa Lugo was eleven years old and Tony fifteen. As is customary in the city, the youth often gathered together in the front stoops of the apartment buildings to talk, joke around and pass the time. Tony and Nilsa met on one of those stoops and soon became friends. As did all the neighborhood kids, they played hopscotch, went to the neighborhood community center and cooled themselves off by running under the open fire hydrant sprays.

Within a few years, a budding romance began. Tony and Nilsa would go on chaperoned walks through Central Park where they would take long strolls or go skating in the ice rink. In 1951, Tony graduated from high school and decided to join the navy. Letter-writing became their mode of communication and a full-blown courtship commenced. During one of his passes home, Nilsa and Tony officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. Finally, when Nilsa was sixteen years old and a senior in high school, she and Tony became engaged.

On November 24th, 1955 Tony finished his term in the navy and returned home. He and Nilsa were married in Christ Church located in New York City on December 3rd, 1955. They honeymooned in Washington D.C. and then moved into an attic apartment in Queens. Tony worked as a bank teller and Nilsa in retail.

On September 25, 1956, they were blessed with the birth of their son, Anthony. Nilsa became a stay-at-home mom for the entire first year of his life. During that time, Anthony’s doctors informed them that Anthony had a form of muscular dystrophy and might not live past his teens. This was never a deterrence for either of them and they quickly made up their minds that Anthony would have as “normal” a life as was possible. As Tony refused to perceive his son as “disabled,” he always made sure that Anthony participated in all the activities that any average young boy at that time would such as camping, hiking, boating, fishing, travelling, baseball, Boy Scouts, etc. - no different from any able-bodied boy. Tony’s infectious attitude also enabled others to view Anthony in the same manner. Tony and Nilsa’s fierce determination to ensure that Anthony lead a regular life as well as their unending devotion to him are the true reasons that Anthony has survived on a ventilator for 27 years and was able to celebrate his 56th birthday this year.

On December 12th, 1960, Tony and Nilsa were once again blessed with the birth of their daughter, Jeanette. Again Nilsa took a leave from her job with the airlines and stayed home for two years to care for her children. By this time, Tony worked at Scalamandre Silks, a world-reknown silk fabric and wallpaper company, in charge of the accounting department. Before long, Nilsa was back to work with the airlines thus allowing the family to travel extensively throughout Europe, the Caribbean and Canada.

It was at this early stage in their lives together that Tony’s role as the “Pied Piper” began – that is his knack for attracting young people and becoming a “Dad” to all. Two young boys, Ronnie DeVos and Howie Lundy, were the first of many more to come. Ronnie and Howie would play with Anthony, hang out at the apartment, and join the family in their many outings. Before long, they became the family’s “adopted” sons and brothers.

By 1967, the Gonzalez’s had saved up enough money to buy their first home. After much exploring, they decided on moving to Long Island, New York. Tony and Nilsa commuted from there into the city everyday, leaving Anthony and Jeanette in the care of their nanny. It was in Uniondale where they met the Dalls, a family with seven children who lived down the block. Once again, their home was always open to everyone – the only restriction being that people had to wait until the blinds were open on weekend mornings before ringing the doorbell! The children would literally sit outside the door just waiting for those blinds to open, so they could ring the doorbell and come in to visit.

Making new friends, however, did not mean that their old friends were forgotten. Uniondale became the new “satellite” location, where everyone came and gathered for the holidays, New Year’s Eve parties, summer pool parties and just about any other excuse they could manufacture. Since people came from so far and the parties lasted so long, everyone would just crash at the house. The new rule was whoever was the first to wake up would be the one designated to start the coffee for everyone else. When everyone was finally awake, the party would once again begin!

Anthony attended a private school in Westbury specifically designed for special needs children. Jeanette, in turn, attended the local public schools. When Anthony graduated high school, he enrolled in Farmingdale University, majoring in business administration. Due to Tony’s desire to have Anthony lead a normal life, they encouraged him to live in the dorms where he was assisted by an aide. Anthony and his college buddies would often call Tony on weekends and ask him to join them on their escapades.

After Jeanette had completed high school and Anthony his university, the family decided to move as the New York winters were too harsh and restrictive for their son. They explored several places but eventually decided to make San Diego their new home. As with everything else, Tony’s positivity helped everyone view the move as an adventure. After teary goodbyes, the family, along with cousin Michael, began their two-week cross country trip, stopping at many sites along the way.

Tony and Nilsa settled in Bonita, CA. The first few years were filled with visitors from back east and the Gonzalez home became known as “Hotel Gonzalez” due to the constant stream of friends and family members that entered through their doors and were welcomed with open arms and warm hospitality. Their drive to remain close to their family was so strong that it literally became a magnet resulting in the grandparents and cousins moving to San Diego as well. As in NY, they made lots of friends and adopted several more new “family members.

Evelyn, Nilsa’s cousin, and her husband, Hector, were instrumental in introducing Tony to Jesus Lopez, owner of a wrought iron business where Hector worked. Mr. Lopez and Tony decided to become partners in the business with Tony working the sales and Nilsa managing the office and shop. Anthony, too, worked in the family business while Jeanette went to university. Tony and Nilsa both continued to run the business until they retired.

Tony waited many years for Jeanette to marry and have a child - so long that he became fearful that Jeanette’s dogs would be the only “grandchildren” he would ever have. When Jeanette finally did get married to Jose Ivan Quiceno, Tony and Nilsa’s dream came true – a little granddaughter. Tony was particularly elated because she had his hazel colored eyes.

Ivanna instantly became the apple of their eyes. The role of “Grandpa” was one into which Tony poured his heart and soul.

Both grandparents thoroughly enjoyed every moment they spent with her and Ivanna, in turn, flourished under their tender love and care. Tony always encouraged and praised her, yet also reprimanded her when needed and, most of all, loved her deeply and unconditionally. As she grew, “Grampie,” as Ivanna called him, could always be found at all her sports events, dance performances and Christian Youth Theater musical performances always cheering and applauding. Of course for him, she was always the star of the show. They also went on fishing trips, played softball, sat on the steps in the backyard looking up at the stars, watched movies together, went for ice cream and many other fun activities. He made every day extra special for his little princess by showering her with his undying love and attention.

One of Tony’s biggest accomplishments was that he generated love and caring relationships with others. Nilsa and Tony became “Mom” and “Dad” and “Grandma” and “Grandpa” to so many. Tony never failed to treat his immediate, extended and adopted family with respect and tenderness. He always taught everyone not to be afraid to try different things and that it was better to make mistakes and fail then not to try at all. His most famous lines were “never give up” as well as “when the world tries to knock you down, don’t give in.” All those who came under his wing felt they needed to do right by him and not let him down. Tony was a “Pied Piper” for the youth, and by so being, created multi-generational bonds.

In the end, Tony was surrounded by his loving family as they celebrated his and Nilsa’s 57 years of marriage. Alas, his long three year struggle with bladder cancer was too much and he eventually had to give in to God’s call to join Him in heaven. Although we are all saddened by his loss, we know that he now rests in peace and will be caring for all of us from above.

Tony, devoted husband, father, grandfather, loving uncle and friend, we love you and bid you goodbye until we meet you again in the next world.