Mary Genevieve O'Connell

Mary had an indefatigable will and passion for life, and her generous support changed lives in the most direct sense — within her own extended family and well beyond it. She cherished her role as aunt to her many nieces and nephews and their children, earning the title of Aunt Fancy. True to form, she never missed a birthday or anniversary, always arriving at family celebrations in one of her signature hats and bearing a gift chosen with such attentiveness that receiving it felt like being truly known. But the title of Aunt Mary extended well beyond blood. She had a rare and luminous gift for making people feel genuinely seen — whether they were lifelong friends, the children of acquaintances, or those she met in the quiet rhythms of daily life. Her generosity asked nothing in return and followed no blueprint; it simply flowed from who she was. To know Mary, even briefly, was to be held in a warmth that did not easily leave you.

Born and raised in New York City, Mary was educated at the Marymount School before enrolling in Bowdoin College, where she graduated with the class of 1976, the second class to admit women. It was her first day on campus that she met Peter Grua, her husband of 43 years.

Bowdoin would remain a touchstone for her through her life. Mary and Peter were married on July 31, 1982, in the Bowdoin College Chapel. They made homes in Chicago and Boston as well as Nantucket, where Siasconset became more of the family headquarters than a summer retreat.

Mary attended Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management, where she was awarded a Masters of Management. For thirty years, she excelled as an executive recruiter for C.P.A. Inc., becoming a top producer, Partner, and member of the executive management committee. She took great pride in having helped many clients find better opportunities to advance their careers.

Mary's conviction that higher education should be accessible to those without inherited means was not abstract — it ran through her family's own story. Her father, James Timothy O'Connell, known to all as "Jock," was the son of a widowed schoolteacher who earned his way to Columbia University on scholarship. He studied civil engineering and eventually rose to become Under Secretary of Labor in the Eisenhower Administration, one of the most senior labor officials in the country. Mary carried that legacy with her. She spent much of her adult life making sure more such doors were opened by supporting others’ education and scholarship.

In 2007, Mary and Peter established an endowed fund at Bowdoin supporting faculty-mentored student research across all disciplines. The Peter J. Grua and Mary G. O'Connell Faculty/Student Research Fund has awarded hundreds of research grants, enabling undergraduates to pursue independent scholarship under the guidance of faculty mentors. The couple also endowed separate scholarship funds to support students who, like Mary's father before them, needed a hand to reach higher.

She spoke about these gifts without ceremony. "Among the many joys we have shared in our lives," she told those gathered at the Bowdoin's 2019 Scholarship Appreciation Luncheon, "few things have meant more to us than providing scholarships and research grants to others." What moved her most, she said, was what those gifts had added to the diversity of the College — students who might otherwise never have had the chance to stand in a Bowdoin classroom.

Her homes in Siasconset on Nantucket and in Beacon Hill/Back Bay Boston were for decades the hub of near-constant activity, celebration and planning for the extended families she held dear. At Bluff Cottage on the island, family and friends gathered on Mary’s porch to enjoy lively conversation, a glass of wine, and a gourmet meal. Off the porch was her perennial garden, expertly curated by Mary, and the go-to location for many photos for family weddings and engagements. The garden itself, and its lush and varied color schemes, remains an attraction for many visitors to Siasconset.

Beyond her philanthropy and her family, Mary brought the same passionate focus to everything she loved. She was a constant and adventurous reader, devoted and knowledgeable wine enthusiast and an avid traveler, with a particular attachment to Italy — where she and Peter maintained deep, lasting friendships forged over many visits to Umbria. That attachment to Italy took on a special chapter this past winter, when Mary and Peter travelled to Milan to witness the American men's and women's hockey teams win Olympic Gold medals — a pilgrimage entirely in keeping with her identity as a loyal and unshakeable Boston Bruins supporter. Hockey was not a casual interest, and the Bruins were the center of her passion for the sport. Her unwavering attendance and game-time face paint were clear expressions of the pure joy Bruins hockey brought her.

Mary also found solitude and joy fishing. Fly rod in hand, she held her own in several beloved eastern Idaho rivers, always out fishing Peter. She was as comfortable in waders as in any other element of a life that moved with equal grace from a Nantucket beach to a Milanese dinner table.

Mary was preceded in death by her father, James Timothy O'Connell; her mother, Adele Quilgan O'Connell; her sister, Katherine O’Connell; her nephew James O’Connell; and her niece Jennifer Morton.

She is survived by her husband, Peter Grua; her brother James; her sisters Anne Latona and Dorothy Cherry; sisters-in-law Pauline, Joanne Walsh, Elizabeth Galvin, Suzanne Grua, and Elizabeth Ferreri; brothers-in-law Donald Latona, Michael Walsh, Rudy Grua, Patrick Reilly, Joseph Ferreri; and beloved nieces and nephews, Malia Flatt (Neal), Sara Somerville (Luke), Caren Latona, Donald “Duke” Latona (Meena), Christopher Latona (Stephanie), Lisa Llano (John), Jonathon Morton (Tiziana), Timothy Morton, James Walsh (Kristen), Peter Walsh (Hannah Lawton), Amy Walsh (Matthew Mandler), Lauren McGrath (Chris Lospalluto), Matthew McGrath, Jack Reilly, Julia Ferreri (Carlos Woodcock), Kathleen Ferreri, Michael Ferreri; grand-nieces and grand-nephews Corey Flatt (Cory Thompson), Jesse Spigner (Josh), Ian Flatt, Jordan, Eric and Andrew Somerville, Ashley, Meaghan and Connor Latona, Spencer “Cody” Booth, Genevieve, Gregory, and Clayton Morton, Henry and Benjamin Walsh, Reese and Ruby Walsh, Luca and Leo Lospalluto.

A Memorial Mass will be celebrated on Thursday, April 30, 2026 at 11am in St. Cecilia Parish, 18 Belvidere St, Boston, MA 02115.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Bowdoin College, Peter J. Grua and Mary G. O’Connell Faculty/Student Fund, 6000 College Station, Brunswick, Maine 04011, Massachusetts General Hospital Cancer Center, Bralower Fund, Attn: Robert O’Brien, 125 Nashua Street, Suite 540, Boston, MA 02114 or the Boston Bruins Foundation, 100 Legends Way, Boston, MA 02114