I was Ellie's roommate on Cypress Street in the 1980s. Although we didn't keep up, I recognized during the time I lived with her that she was, indeed, an exceptional, brilliant, insanely funny, and kind human being. She attracted friends like light attracts fireflies and our little apartment was often filled with them. Ellie was amazing.

Oh my goodness, I had no idea. I’m an old friend from UM Law, summer starters. Ellie was one of my favorite classmates, always delightful, funny, creative, and kind. I always thought we’d get out there to visit. Our correspondence was occasional but always absolutely delightful. My deepest condolences to everyone lucky enough to be close to her. The world is less bright now, we’ve lost a true ray of sunshine. 💔

I am a friend of Ellie’s from 1981 when we were at the University of Michigan Law School. I always admired Ellie and over the years I have been lucky enough to see her every now and then, and I have come to count her as a dear friend. In law school she had the courage to stand up on the last day of each class in our first year and read a charming, clever and invariably funny poem she had written about the class. The brilliant and intimidating professors were universally tickled pink!

When I got married in 1991, I asked her to read a poem at my ceremony. She obliged  with her usual grace. Over the years I got to visit her in her various homes and see her professional and personal success. She lived a life to be proud of. 

Our friend, Jenn Belt DuChene, and I visited her on, what turned out to be, the day before she passed. Ellie was kind and engaging. Even when she could barely open her eyes she expressed how lucky she was to have so many great friends in her life, and she made heroic efforts to say the ice water Asha gave her and the smoothie Howie made for her were “delicious.” I really don’t know anyone else wth her special sauce of human skills: empathy, kindness, cleverness and humor. She got that mixture just right. When we were leaving I asked her if I could give her a hug or was she hugged out. She said that she was never hugged out.

Thank you to all who made the live stream of Ellie’s service possible. It was perfect. In particular, Howie’s comment that there was never a day that they didn’t laugh really resonated with me. She is a blessing to those who knew her.

It's hard to believe that such a vibrant spirit has left this world. Ellie, the unofficial Mayor of Poland Sring, officiated (officially!) at my wedding, getting her Justice of the Peace credential for that one event. We played music together, wrote lyrics and sang together, took walks and drank tea together. She was a master of words and large dogs able to control both seemingly without effort. Her illness was a surprise and a shock to all of us. I am so sorry for her loss. My sincere condolences to family and dear friends. We are numerous and will miss her radiance.

It was with a heavy heart that I heard the news that Ellie, a colleague and friend, had died. Even though I’d seen less of her over the years, especially when COVID and retirement brought a limit to our time in the office, her memory always brings a smile to my face. I remember her not so much her excellent work at the agency, but the laughter and fun she brought to the office. The witty songs and skits, her quick wit, that’s what stays with me. She brought much needed joy to the world and will be missed.

Ellie and I started our careers at EPA on the same day back in 1987, and a few years later I was fortunate enough to benefit from her unique and unparalleled skill as a mediator during a particularly difficult negotiation that unfolded as Boston's "Big Dig" was being dug.  More importantly, it gave me the opportunity to get to know, admire, and respect her as a friend and colleague.  She was one of the most sincere, funny, and insightful people I've ever known, personally or professionally.  I smile when I think of her, and always will.

I lived in a huge old communal group house named “Campbell Cottage” in the late 1970s in Poland Spring, Maine.  There were six of us, all in our mid-twenties, including Ellie.  We affectionately called her “Max” (I don’t remember why) and also “The Mayor”  because…. well, in our hearts and minds she was most certainly The Mayor of Poland Spring.  
We were a family - of choice, of love, and of ritual.  Almost every night for two years, we sat down for dinner together, taking turns cooking, and the highlight of every meal was the dramatic presentation of the dinner menu, or “Le Menu du Jour”, beautifully, poetically and hilariously written - and theatrically announced - by Ellie.  Her irrepressible wit would make every dish (think Macaroni) sound like a culinary masterpiece and make whoever cooked it sound like Julia Child, or Leonardo da Vinci!  The laughter and good-natured humor was, as much as anything, the thread that bonded us together.  We have stayed close all these years, and now that I think about it, perhaps Ellie was the secret sauce.  
Thank you Ellie “Max” Tonkin, for being such a kind, generous, witty and brilliant human being.  You will always be the Mayor of Poland Spring, irreplaceable, one of a kind, beloved and cherished in our memories and hearts.

Dear Ellie,
Your effusive appreciation of beauty was a gift to all of us. As one of the gardeners who basked in your appreciation, I can tell you that it mattered. Here’s one last picture of the garden for you to enjoy. Stephanie, Yonah and I will miss you. We were so lucky to have you as a neighbor and friend. 
Alex Borns-Weil

I'm so sorry to hear Ellie has passed.  I was lucky enough to work with her at EPA for many, many years.  Her door was always open as was her heart.  A few minutes with Ellie made you feel heard, valued, and uplifted.  What a wonderful human being - she showed us how to bring kindness, intelligence, respect, and warmth to life everyday.  Her world was wide and encompassed so many.  I am so grateful to have known Ellie and to have shared in a few moments of her big and wonderful life.

I knew Ellie as a fellow mediator.  When I was very new (and very young), she jumped in to an initiative to organize shared trainings across organizations doing mediation and public policy facilitation. She was then - and every time I had the pleasure of being around her - kind and generous and funny. I am so lucky to have known her and overlapped with her on occasion. 

I'm so sorry she's gone so young. I will miss her and work to carry what I learned from her with me as I work to help today's newest mediators.

I am so sorry to hear about Ellie. She was one of the most empathetic, insightful, and humane individuals I have ever worked with. No matter the issue or the personalities, she could always find a path to agreement -- often to the surprise of the people involved. She was funny, smart, thoughtful, and committed to fair outcomes.  

May her memory be a blessing.

Joel (Angiolillo)  and I were so sorry to learn about Ellie's untimely death.  We've known and loved her since our college days at Amherst, 50 years ago.  We send our love and sympathy to her siblings and her partner.  We will miss her humor and ready wit.  She sparkled.  She lit up everything and everyone around her.  I wish we'd had more time with her.

To Ellie’s Family, Friends, and Colleages,

Once Ellie latched onto alternative dispute resolution as her thing, she no longer fit into one of EPA’s traditional job positions.  So I was lucky enough to have her join my “immediate office” as she led the way for all of EPA using ADR to settle disputes.  In no way did I manage her, but I spent many, many hours listening to her describe the cases in which she employed her magical skills.

Ellie was truly a national treasure for EPA.   She was also such a wonderful person and so clever.   Since my retirement several years ago, I got to see Ellie on a few occasions.  Now I will always smile when I think of her and will miss her.

Ellie, I will miss your friendship, your humor, our talks over tea and the many stories we wrote together.  You are gone too soon.

Love,
Denny

Rachel, Simon and Marc,
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your beloved sister Ellie. May her memory be a blessing.
Fondly,
David Tall

I didn't get the chance to work with Ellie often enough, but every time I did it was an absolute pleasure. She had a knack for cutting through the fluff and getting right to the heart of the matter, but doing so in a way that made you feel like she got it and was on your side, every time. She was always a smiling face in the hallway and was the kind of person about whom absolutely no one had anything bad to say. She'll be missed. My deepest condolences to her family.

Sincere condolences to Ellie's family and loved ones.  I new Ellie most as an EPA mediator.  Her patience, generosity and kindness were a wonderful and contagious example to all of us engaged in the difficult process of dispute resolution.  She kept the process in line in her gentle, but firm way.  With her presence we were always able to come to agreement.  She was a role model for me and many others who were lucky enough to know her.  So sorry to hear of Ellie's passing.

To Ellie's family,

I was on the "other side" of several cases with Ellie over the years, and although we didn't always agree, it was never a disagreeable experience.  She was thoughtful, kind, smart and funny, and I really enjoyed getting to know her.  We had the chance to catch up briefly last year on another matter, and it was lovely to reconnect. 

I am very sorry for your loss of this wonderful person.

Sherry Young,
New Hampshire Attorney

A wonderful human.  And best damned mediator I have had the pleasure to work with.  Ever.

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Elissa "Ellie" Tonkin

Levine Chapels

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