Emily Lay Paramonova

Emily Lay Paramonova passed quietly on Friday, November 3rd, 2023 in the presence of her husband Igor (Gorsha) Paramonov, after a short illness. She will be remembered as a kindhearted force with a one-of-a-kind playful, sparkly energy that her grandkids especially adored. She had a unique capacity to shine a bright light on a person and show tremendous warmth, appreciation and curiosity.

Emily was born September 7th, 1945 the youngest daughter to James S. Lay, an official with the Central Intelligence Agency and Secretary to the National Security Council and Emily Lay (nee Miller), a psychiatric social worker and dedicated Bluebird troop leader in Washington DC. Emily grew up with her parents and older sisters, Carolyn and Patricia in Falls Church, VA.

Driven by a deep respect for and pride in the contributions her father made to the history of the United States, Emily graduated from Meredith College in 1968 with a degree in History. She continued her education at Catholic University, in Washington DC, where she received a Master of Fine Art’s degree in Acting and Speech in 1970. While there she gave birth to a daughter, Carol, whom she gave up for adoption. After the birth, she was offered the title role in a Day in the Death of Joe Egg at Long Wharf Theatre in New Haven, Connecticut where she received her Actor’s Equity Card.

Upon returning to school, she met her first husband, Paul O’Connell. They married in August of 1970. They began their life together in Maryland, where they had their first born, Erin. They moved to New Jersey where they gave birth to their second daughter, Gretchen. In 1976, Emily accepted a job as a theatre teacher and house parent at Milton Academy, a prestigious New England Prep School. In the summer of 1980, shortly after Mt. St. Helen’s erupted, the family moved to Portland, Oregon with the goal of starting their own professional theatre in a city that, at the time, had no equity company. They formed Just Off-Broadway Stage Company (JOBS). Emily began a summer camp program there called Creative Art’s Workshop which joined music, theatre, visual arts and dance so she could help ignite and grow passion for arts within children, including her own daughters. In 1985, Emily and Paul moved to Seattle, Washington, to become a part of a more established theatre community and lived there before they separated in 1989.

Through the following years, they remained close as they shared a deep love and pride for their daughters.

In the autumn of 1989 Emily took part in an American-Soviet artists’ exchange program, spending several weeks acting and performing in Tashkent in the Soviet republic of Uzbekistan. The program brought artists from both countries together in shared living and working spaces to create an immersive experience spanning theater, dance, acrobatics and song. While there she met Gorsha with whom she found, without sharing a common spoken language, an exciting romantic and passionate love.

While travelling home from this life-altering experience, the Berlin Wall fell, signaling the beginning of the end of the despotic rule of the Soviet sphere. This historic event, which occurred while she was on the plane home, allowed Emily to become the first American actress to take a company position in a Soviet theatre, the Ilkhom Theater in Tashkent. For actors in the US, theatre is often an intense but short experience. One becomes family with a small group of like-minded people for 6-8 weeks during a show. At the end of the run, one says goodbye, grieves the loss of the family, and starts looking for work again, repeating the process over and over. In the Soviet Union, actors joined companies, with whom they stayed for show after show. One was guaranteed steady employment and never had to grieve the loss of the found family. For Emily, the experience of staying and performing with the same people for show after show was transformational and one she spoke about joyously throughout her life.

After 7 months working with the Ilkhom Company, Emily returned to Seattle. Gorsha was able to come the following fall and they were married on November 9th, 1990. Immediately after, they returned to the Soviet Union and worked at a Moscow theater. In 1991, Emily and Gorsha were invited by the American Embassy to work at the Anglo-American school. There Emily directed and Gorsha choreographed a musical version of Alice in Wonderland. As the fall of the Soviet Union was occurring and the Iraq War was beginning, they were told to return to the States in June of 1991 for their safety.

For the nine years, Emily and Gorsha lived and worked in Seattle, moving to California in the 2000, first settling in Redwood City and eventually moving to Burbank where she finally found a home that exuded a beauty and sunshine to match her own. In California, Emily discovered her passion for teaching and became a professor of Speech and Small Group Communications Studies at several universities in both Northern and Southern California, most recently at CSUN and Pierce College.

Reflecting lessons learned from her mother, she was driven both by a love of learning and a deep caring for the well-being of her students. As a professor, she was driven to holistically support and advocate for her student. Always politically minded, while teaching

she succeeded in securing a grant from the state to support individual students and

programs to address student hunger and homelessness among student populations.

Emily is survived by her daughters, Carol Lee Johnson, Erin Lockhart O’Connell and Gretchen Valentine O’Connell, their husbands, David, Michael and Matthew; her four granddaughters, Kailey Valentine, Madalyn Belle, Keira Rose and Ellie Astor; her sisters Mrs. Carolyn Dowd and Ms. Patricia Lay Dorsey and her husband Edward Dorsey; her nephews, William and James Dowd, their wives Misty and Kristen and their children Haylee and Holly, Oliver and Harper; her treasured cat Lapa and her beloved husband Gorsha.

A funeral service for Emily will be held Saturday, November 18, 2023 from 11:30 AM to 12:30 PM at Grand View Memorial Chapel, 1341 Glenwood Rd., Glendale, CA 91201. Following the funeral service will be a committal service from 12:30 PM to 1:00 PM at Grandview Cemetery, 1341 Glenwood Rd., Glendale, CA 91201.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.valleyfuneralhomeburbank.com for the Paramonova family.