Bus Ride Pride

Jess was awarded the Sgt Morales Certificate of Membership from the United States Army, Europe, and the Seventh Army the 31st of January 1991.  This award is presented to the dedicated professional whose leadership is characterized by true personal concern for the needs, development, and welfare of the soldier - leadership which draws the very best efforts from every individual.  Award ceremonies were schedule several times per year and the spouses were bussed separately to various locations for presentation.  I was so proud that Jess was recognized for the true leader that he was and to receive this award was a true honor.  Shortly before arriving at the ceremony our transport bus stopped by the post exchange for us to pick up anything we would like to give to our spouse after the presentation.  Since it was customary for Jess and me to share our memories over a cup of morning coffee, I got him a special cup to commemorate his award.  Upon returning to the bus, a not so nice and very loud, opinionated individual laughed at my choice of gift for my husband.  A hush came over the bus as she proceeded to inform me that roses were more appropriate and her husband deserved roses.  I kept my mouth shut during her dissertation until she proceeded to belittle another spouse for her choice of gift. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!  I stood up in the quiet atmosphere of the bus and politely informed her that apparently she did not have the compassion of a decent caring human being and that her remarks were childish, immature and completely out of line.  She had the right as any one on the bus to get whatever they deemed an appropriate gift for their spouse.  She chose roses and good for her, but as an example my cup would bring memories long after her roses died and that my husband deserved good memories for his outstanding performance.  She shut up and sat down but it was quite apparent that she didn't get it at allshe didn't want to get it.  Moments later numerous spouses got off the bus and returned smiling with a wide array of coffee mugs.  Later, I learned that she and her husband were no longer together and the young officer, who was a fine young man, continued to excel in his military career.  Anyone can pick at me, that's fine and I am secure within myself to weather the storm, but don't pick on someone else because you think they are beneath the pedestal you have placed yourself on.  Pedestals can teeter and fall over and then everyone is winds up on the same level of humanity.

Alert Closet

In the military, all soldiers were on call at a moments notice therefore a plan of action was set into place at home.  At the notification call, get your things and go.  We allotted an alert closet for the things that Jess would need available when necessary.  Shortly after getting settled in, I decided to arrange Jess's alert closet for easy access to all of his things.  (Please note that I did not polish his bootslol)  I hung his uniforms, jacket, raingear and bio-suit to get the wrinkles out and repacked his bag.  His closet was neatly organized and ready to go.  A few days later an alert was called in the middle of the night.  Jess got up, started the coffee, went to the alert closet to get his gear to set by the front door and found my gift of a well organized closet.  Later that evening, Jess told me that I did a wonderful job arranging the closet and was pleased that I didn't want his uniforms and jackets wrinkled.   He then proceeded to let me know that an alert is a grab & go situation and that wrinkled uniforms were acceptable. Apparently, I had delayed his departure 5 minutes or so in order for him to repack his alert bag.  He never once belittled anything I did out of kindness and always appreciated my efforts.  The alert bag then fell in line with my polishing his boots and he handled it all with grace and understanding.

Basement Confusion

After assignment to government quarters, we were located on the top floor and we aptly named it the 4th floor nosebleed apartment with our storage unit located in the basement section.  While organizing our home, we made many trips to the basement to either put things in storage or to retrieve items both necessary for the home or military items Jess needed to place in his alert closet.  Military acronyms are a conundrum to the civilian thought process.  As this story of teamwork goes, Jess was setting up his alert bag paraphernalia and I was the runner to the basement to acquire the much needed items.  Honey, I need my NBC gear. So to the basement I go, thinking NBC, ABC, CBSthat's itcommunications gear.  I returned with nothing, stating that there was no communication gear in the basement.  He laughed and told me that NBC stood for Nuclear, Biological Warfare and it was a green suit that he needed.  OK, got the suit and a few other items.  Next he needed his web gear.  So down the stairs thinking web gearducks have web feet so it must be raingeargot that too and returned.  He was pleased about the raingear as it was another item he needed but told me that the web gear was his army holsterback to the basement to retrieve it.  I was slow to the gate at first, but at this point it became necessary to get a full description of the items before taking a trip to the basement.  We were finished in hardly any time at all by teamwork with well translated communication.

The Boot Polish

After the dinner dishes were done, I tossed the dish towel over my shoulder and headed into the living room to see if Bryan or Jess (who was polishing his boots for the next day) wanted some tea.   Omgoodness!!!  The small tin dish, sitting on top of a wooden tray, was on fire in the middle of floor.  The flames seemed large but in retrospect were probable only 3-4 inches tall.  I rushed over and swatted the flames with my wet dish towel until the flames were diminished.  This caused a great out pouring of adjectives from Jess.  It seems that in order to put a great polished shine on a pair of black army boots one sets the boot polish on fire, applies the liquid wax to the leather and then polishes the boot.  When the tray with an empty polish tin was removed it left nice cleared square of living room carpet surrounded now by a permanent ink blotted sunburst of boot polish.

Thanksgiving Sleep Over

A little over 30 days at the Kitizingen Gaust Haus and military housing was still un-available, so we made arrangements to move into an apartment approximately 7 miles out.  Our household goods were delivered two days before Thanksgiving.  Still living out of our luggage, we only set up our beds and were soon headed to the commissary for turkey, ham and all the trimmings.  The baskets were full at checkout line and in a short time we were out the door.  As we were putting our bags in the car for the ride home, Jess said it was a shame that 3 young soldiers were remaining at the barracks over the holidays.  He smiled as I nodded my approval to his unspoken request.  When invited, these grateful young men eagerly accepted and said that if I'd cook a real thanksgiving for them that they'd do all the dishes.  It was truly a wonderful Thanksgiving for us all amid all the unpacked boxes.  FYI:  Every holiday from that point, our home was always filled with young soldiers.  I got to cook, some with assistance by those who liked to cook and never had to wash a single item.  The barracks remained empty over a lot of holidays and weekends.

CSM Haircut

The following morning after arriving in Kitzingen, Jess left for early formation to meet the Battalion CSM Henry Vance.  Once introductions were made, CSM Vance said SFC Gray I do believe you need a haircut. Jess replied Yes sir, I do; and Sir, I do believe you need a haircut also.  CSM Vance laughed and said yes sir, I believe I do too.  After formation, they both left together to get a regulation hair cut.  This was the beginning of a well matched and highly professional working team.

The Gaust Haus at Kitzingen, West Germany

We were almost 6 hours behind schedule upon arrival at the Nuremberg airport in West Germany, thus our transportation was rescheduled causing an additional delay of about 3 hours.  I immediately noticed the equivalent of the American police aptly named the Polizei.  It was eye opening experience as they carried oozy machine guns strapped over their shoulders and were ready for anything at a moment notice.  With the temperature around the mid 40's, we unpacked our coats and headed out into the terminal for a little exercise and some food. We continued on to a small European café and Jess ordered my first European espresso.  He warned me that it would be nothing like what I'd ever had in the US.  It came in a demitasse cup holding possibly a quarter cup of the strongest coffee I've ever tasted.  Oh my goodness, it punched enough caffeine for me to stay awake another 8 hours.  Soon we boarded a bus bound for military base in Kitzingen. The trip took approximately 4 hours with dozens of stops between for other military personnel and their families to off load to their new duty stations.  Once Jess checked in at headquarters we were escorted to a local German guest house (gaust haus) where we would spend the next 30 days.  We met a wonderful family that arrived shortly before us, the DeWitts, and over the next 4+ years we became great friends.

Load Up, We're Off To Germany

Passports in hand we were packed and ready for our trip to the next duty station in Kitzingen West Germany.  It was an early hot day in August when we lined up at customs for processing.  Security was tight but the process was completed in under 3 hours.  With our baggage checked in, we were ushered to a secure holding area for our bus ride to the plane.  We boarded the buses and off we went around two planes only to arrive approximately 300 yards from our starting point to unload and board the guarded plane set apart from the civilian flights.  We settled into our seats anticipating our exciting new journey that was about to begin.  We waited.  And we waited.  Over the loud speaker we were informed that luggage that was checked in did not match the passenger manifest and the unaccompanied luggage would need to be removed and all baggage re-verified before our flight would commence.  We waited nearly 5 hours isolated on the tarmac for this process to be completed amidst the ever increasing hot August heat, the crying babies, children running up and down the isles, no food just water and long lines to use the restrooms.  It was not quite how I pictured the start of our adventure together and we were more than ready when the announcement came that our flight would be taking off within minutes.  Hoorays and cheers filled the cabin. Soon after our flight began, the lights were dimmed, the air conditioning kicked into high gear, lap blankets were passed around, the babies and young children settled down to sleep.  The cabin noise and hum of the motors being so foreign to me prevented my sleeping but even with all the excitement and delays, both Jess and Bryan were soon asleep while I settled into a good science fiction book.  It was a pleasant and uneventful flight all the way to touchdown in Frankfurt West Germany.

Silk African Violets...

One day, I put a spray of perfumed silk African violets in the pocket of Jess's BDU's. Later that evening he told me that he found them as he was conducting morning formation, pulled them out of his pocket, smelled them and replaced them in the pocket.  I thought this was so nice of him to acknowledge my little gift.  He then told me that the entire company witnessed the event, smiled and chuckled a bit, then it was back to matters at hand.  It actually put a nice spin to the day for not only Jess but to many within the company.  A little humor is always good.

Uniforms and Boots

Newly married, I decided to do something nice for Jess.  My thoughts were to wash, starch and iron Jess's BDU's for work. Well, that didn't go as well as expected.  The canned spray starch isn't suited to creating a stiff starched uniform.  Even though I did a good job ironing, he looked wilted after an hour.  So, I moved to trying boiled starch on the stove like my grandmother used to do and using pant stretchers.  What a disaster!  Next step was to make sure that the BDU's were ready for Jess to take and drop off at the base cleaners.  Ok, I could live with that.  By the way, Kudos to grandmother for her fortitude.  Still wanting to do something nice, I decided to polish his combat boots every evening after he went to bed and have them ready for him the next day.  Every morning before leaving around 3:30 am, Jess would come in to say thank you for polishing his boots, wish me a great day, give me the kiss goodbye, then off to work he'd go.  This went on for about 6 months or so, until for some reason I woke up before he left for work.  I thought it would be nice to have a cup of coffee with him before work so entered into the kitchen and saw him polishing his boots. I just looked at him and the boots and didn't have to say anything.  He grinned sheepishly and informed me that I didn't quite polish his boots to the standards required by the US Army.  Apparently, from the very first day he had to get up earlier than normal to re-polish his boots and because I did it to be nice, he didn't want to hurt my feelings.  It's needless to say that I never ironed another BDU nor polished any more combat boots but I did get a few extra hours of sleep!

It Rolls Downhill...

Evening formation was just ending at the barracks as I pulled into the parking lot to wait for Jess.  It always amazed me to observe the crisp lines of the young men and women at attention even at the end of a long day of work.  After accountability and a few minutes of instructions, everyone was dismissed for the day.  It was then that I noticed 3 young soldiers moved up to Jess and went to attention in front of him.  Jess was speaking to them and it was clearly a one sided conversation that I listened to for about 4-5 minutes.  They were attentive and responsive to his repetitiveness yet he continued to question if he was fully understood.  My protective nature for the underdog was increasing by the minute as I proceeded toward the group and waited nearby for him to finish.  Knowing that if I was told to do something a certain way, it would be done.  To repeat after being acknowledged was symbolic of the old phrase to kill a dead horse.   The soldiers were soon dismissed and they gathered a short distance away.  Apparently, without my saying a word, they each picked up on the fact that I was upset.  I quietly told Jess that I didn't understand why he talked to them in that manner and that it didn't seem fair or nice at all.  Jess's eyes gently softened from his military mode and said that he would explain shortly, but needed to do one more thing inside the barracks before he could leave so asked me to wait for him.   While waiting, these young men came over to me, introduced themselves and the spokesman for the 3 asked me not to be upset with what happened.  Clearly, I was confused.  Mrs. Gray, he said, your husband is a true leader, one of the best, and we all want to work for him.  You know that stuff that rolls down hill?  Well, it all stops at him and it never reaches us.  He always takes care of his soldiers.  What just happened wasn't personal it was a formality and we knew it.  I thanked them as Jess returned and we left for home. We discussed my dilemma and what the young men had told me.  Jess said they were correct and then Jess smiled and said Honey, you'll do.  The clarity of that day of what makes a good soldier and those heartfelt words ring true today.


M1A1 Abrahams Tank and the Bucket... 

It had been unseasonably rainy spring day on my drive home from work when I passed by the Fort Bliss military installation in El Paso Texas.  I viewed a perfectly straight, long line of tanks that were backed up and parked on individual concrete ramps, side by side in perfect symmetry.  The gun tube on each tank was pointing down with a 5 gallon bucket hanging off the end.  My civilian thought process went into overdrive and provided the only explanation possibleSince gun tubes normally point in the upward position then they must have filled with rain water and they were draining them. It was a shame that they had such sophisticated equipment without a drain release in the gun tube.  Plus the fact that they had to build ramps to back each tank upon to drain out the water.  This was a topic that I would discuss with Jess that evening.  Smiling, he listened to my civilian interpretation and solution.  He then told me that they were not draining out the rain water but setting the tanks sites for firing accuracy.  He never once made fun of my civilian thought process but instead always welcomed my input.

Oh Honey, Marry Me...
Oh honey, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with youmarry me and I promise that you'll never have a dull moment.
So we got married and I can honestly say without a doubt that there were no dull moments.  Even to this day, going over the memories of our life together, I still have not had a dull momenthe kept his wordand I smile

Amy I was very saddened to hear of Jesse passing. What a wonderful man he was. So many kind words to me over the years. God bless you and the family.

OBITUARIO

Robert Jess Jesse Gray Sr

13 diciembre, 1955 – 19 mayo, 2016

Clements-Wilcox Funeral Home

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