Martin Raymond Goldsmith MD

Devoted father of Michael Goldsmith and his wife Kathryn of Moorseville, NC and Craig Goldsmith of Boca Raton, FL. Dear son of the late Eli and Adelle (Sklar) Goldsmith. Loving brother of the late Roberta Cocchi. Cherished grandfather of Anna and Claire Goldsmith.

Martin thrived when taking care of people. He was proud to be a doctor and enjoyed his profession as a radiologist. Always active, he could be found playing golf, riding his bike, skiing, playing pool, and savoring vacations with family. He especially loved family get-togethers. He will be greatly missed.

Services were held on Friday, May 14th at 2:00 PM at Sharon Memorial Park, 40 Dedham Street, Sharon, MA.

In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy in Martin’s memory may be donated to Temple Beth Shalom, 670 Highland Avenue, Needham, MA 02494 (visit www.tbsneedham.org to donate online), or to Tufts Medical Center, 800 Washington Street, #231, Boston, MA 02111 (visit https://giving.tuftsmedicalcenter.org/give to donate online)

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Eulogies

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Son, Craig Goldsmith

Well, if this didn’t surprise you, it sure surprised me! For the last month, since I moved to Florida, my father called me every afternoon to check up on me. One, to make sure I enjoyed where I was living and two - which was most important to him – to make sure that I was working out and losing weight. One day recently, he called and asked how “CHP” was. I asked him what CHP was, and he told me it stood for “Craig’s Health Plan.” So, every call he made to me, those were the first words out of his mouth. Well, Dad, I am sticking to it as best I can under these extreme circumstances and I promise I will get right back on course as soon as I return.

A few memories of my Dad:

1) Every Christmas he would take me to work at the VA Hospital in Jamaica Plain, and we would deliver gifts to the Little Home for Wanderers, which was an orphanage;

2) He taught me how to pick out breast cancer when I was around 8 or 9 years old.;

3) He donated to various organizations and causes that he was fond of;

4) Although his job kept him extremely busy, he always found time to spend with his family: road trips, weekend trips, Disney trips, trips skiing up north. He did teach me to ski, which is probably why I don’t anymore. Just kidding.

And even if it was just playing catch in the yard, it always felt that it was quality time.

Today, if you walked into his house, you would see mostly pictures of Mike, me, and his grandchildren. Those were the people that he loved. He loved sharing the pictures with visitors.

After getting divorced, my dad lived a very simple life – very stress-free. He kept in shape, rode his bike every day, and would eat healthy most of the time… and I stress MOST of the time because the minute you put a cookie, a brownie, or a piece of cheesecake in front of him, it was gone within a minute or less!

For those of you who may not know “the story,” and I stress STORY because we don’t have all the facts straight just yet, my dad had a fall last week, and he hit his head. He suffered traumatic brain damage and became unable to communicate, amongst other things. Being a doctor, he knew exactly what he didn’t want, and that was for someone to feed him or to have a machine breathe for him. He basically wanted to be able to live a normal life; not like a “vegetable.” Unfortunately, this is what the doctors conveyed to the family as what the rest of my dad’s life would be like.

I could tell so many stories, some appropriate, and of course, some not so appropriate at this time, so I have chosen to keep those private. But my dad was a funny person and loved to joke around as much as he could.

One of the things I will miss most is having dinner with my father on a regular basis. He would eat the same thing every time I went to his house and just “shoot the shit.” He would always ask if I knew how this person or another person was doing. He cared about others before himself!

Dad, I am glad you always left me voicemails that I can now listen to when I am thinking of you and want to hear your voice.

Now, you won’t be able to visit personally in Florida, but I know you can look down and see for yourself how I am doing.

Over the last couple of months, a couple close friends of mine have lost one of their parents and I realize now, you never know how much pain there is until it happens to you.

Dad, say hi to everyone! Rest peacefully and always, and I stress ALWAYS, remember how much I loved and will miss you!

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Son, Michael Goldsmith

There is a famous saying: “Anyone can be a Father. It takes a REAL MAN to be a Dad.” Dr. Martin Goldsmith was just that – he was a Dad. In fact, I can’t recall a single time in my life I ever called him ‘Father’….because to me he has always been, and always will be my Dad.

My relationship with my Dad started in Hyde Park after I was born. To this day, I still recall taking walks when I was 2-3 years old from our apartment a bit up the road to the corner store, with my Dad holding my hand…and while at the time I didn’t realize it, he took SO MANY home videos of me growing up from the very beginning, memories I can still cherish because he had the forethought to record them (and many decades later) transfer them to VHS. For those Millennials present and watching online, if you don’t know what VHS is – ask you parents…they will probably know (or they might not).

At 3, we moved to Needham where we all lived together until I went away to college in Michigan at age 18. My brother Craig was born a year after we moved to Needham. I am sure you have either just heard his personal thoughts about Dad (or will shortly), but either way I am sure that he will convey similar thoughts of love and affection for his father as well, or as his family and close friends liked to call him simply ‘Marty’, Dr. Goldsmith or Dr. G.

Growing up, besides teaching me many things and spending time with me and Craig, he was always 1st and foremost present for all of the important events in our lives – despite the long hours as a radiologist he never missed a birthday, school events like chorus concerts, graduation or any other significant event. He would attend Little League games, and I loved when after dinner he’d spend time hitting me pop-ups in the road in front of our house so I could practice catching them and improving my outfielding skills. At least 1 year he was also one of the coaches of my Little League team. He also taught me how to play pool/billiards and ping pong, and we had many tournaments and battles in our basement. Dad also very much loved playing golf and eventually teaching me some of the finer points, as well as fishing – which we did several times with Cousin Arnold (I think it was for trout, but I could be wrong). If Dad wasn’t golfing in his spare time or doing things around the house, you could catch him watching the PGA Tour on TV following the very best in the game he loved. The point of all of this is it didn’t matter – he was doing something he loved and enjoyed w/ people he loved being around.

As for the details, there are far too many to share (we’d be here all afternoon and evening) but I’d like to call out some of my personal favorites. I remember fondly him teaching me to ice skate at a rink in Dedham and also at the YMCA rink in Needham, and eventually attending many pee-wee hockey games always cheering me on and pushing me to “go get the puck”! Ironically, the parking lot of that YMCA was where my Dad also was 1st willing to get in a car w/ me behind the wheel to start teaching me to drive. He thought the parking lot on a Sunday morning would be a nice, wide-open, safe space for me to start learning to drive. Unfortunately, there was a VERY large pile of mulch in a corner of the lot and the 1st thing I did was put it in drive instead of reverse, gunned the gas pedal and drove straight into that same pile. To many of my friends and relatives, that was just the start of my long and illustrious driving record for which I still get much criticism today. No fault of Dad’s of course.

This wasn’t the 1st event that maybe went a bit haywire. When I was somewhere in the 8-10 year old range, my Dad took me cross-country skiing (don’t recall exactly where), but I certainly couldn’t forget the experience. Even though I wasn’t sure where we were going, my Dad insisted the best skiing experience was by going deep into some nearby woods. We managed to get lost, and I mean for several HOURS, and had to be found and rescued by a ranger on a snow mobile. To this day, I’m not a huge fan of that cross-country skiing activity.

In addition to introducing me to some new things that he thought would be fun and exciting, my Dad loved spending time with his immediate family. I fondly recall many family outings where Craig, my Mom, Karen, and my Dad would spend time together. Some of Dad’s favorites were Nantasket Beach and Paragon Park, Edaville Railroad, the Museum of Science in Boston, the New England Aquarium, Faneuil Hall and the Boston’s Children’s Museum. Dad also loved charcoal grilling for us and the extended family on holidays and lazy summer weekends – probably why I have become a bit of a grill master myself for my own family – though now I use gas. I also recall many days playing basketball in the driveway with my Dad, even in the heat of allergy season when it wasn’t pleasant for either of us – just because he loved me and wanted to spend time with me.

Aside from family that he was most proud of, he took great pride in being a medical doctor. But the two were not always separate. I remember many weeknights as a kid, Craig and I would go with him into his private practice in Wellesley while he had to read X-rays for his patients, even after long days at the VA Medical Center where he often practiced. While I was unable to understand most (OK – ALL) of what he was saying while reading X-rays, I was there present and quiet, in the office, WITH him….I think he just wanted to have me nearby and close, even though we were not directly interacting. But even so, there were times he would pause after dictating what he saw, to have me come up next to him and he would do his very best to explain to me what he was seeing…what looked OK, and where there was a bone break or potential other health issue.

During this difficult time, the doctors at the hospital – in speaking with me – often asked if I had a medical background. The answer to that is most certainly “No”…however, I did remind them I am a son of a doctor, and over the years have learned so much in this regard – that it made it more seamless to speak w/ his doctors and caregivers at this most difficult time.

While growing up, and later in life, we also shared a common love of most sports – team and individual – but there are two in particular I would like to mention. The Bruins and Michigan Football. I remember as a kid Dad instilled in me the love and passion for the Bruins that I carry with me today. After many years of pain/suffering and many playoff disappointments in the 70s, 80s and 90s – particularly to Montreal which I still despise more than any other team to this day, – The Bs finally won the Stanley Cup in 2011. So where was I and what was I doing in those final 5:00 minutes of the 3rd period when it was inevitable they were going to win. I called my Dad and took a walk around our neighborhood in Cornelius, NC while he was watching it all unfold live. I just wanted to share that super-special moment w/ him…talking and just being together while it happened (even if remotely) sharing the pure joy, elation and yes, relief, that the Bs had finally done it!

As for Michigan Football, we shared a similar set of experiences – lots of great wins, and lots of disappointment. Dad loved to debate football strategies, and what the coaches needed to do differently in terms of both game planning and personnel. He also had great superstition and would always tell me when he was laying out a favorite Michigan t-shirt or sweatshirt on game day to bring them good luck. So why Michigan football – I ended up going to college there when I didn’t get into MIT, which was my Dad’s alma mater. Besides his football allegiance, he also made sure his college gifts changed destinations from MIT to Michigan – he mentioned that to me many times over the years.

Most important to me has been that my Dad has been a strong guide, counsel, and teacher to me, my brother Craig, and countless others. Most importantly – Marty taught me 2 things:

1) How to have a very strong work ethic, and

2) How to be a great Dad/family man (I can only hope my wife Kate, and my daughters Anna and Claire believe I am living up to my Dad’s example in that regard)

With regards to work ethic, I still remember he painted our entire house in Needham by himself, and now knowing how much hard work and effort for many, many years after college it requires to even become a doctor (let alone practice as one) has provided me with a lifelong appreciation for the phrase “you reap what you sow” – if you work hard, it will pay off. He also showed me how to mow the lawn and take care of the yard – responsibilities he eventually handed off to me almost exclusively; I am still trying to figure out how to transfer some of that to my own kids.

As for being a great Dad and family man, I have touched on that quite a bit already. But I also remember how much he spent time helping me with schoolwork at our kitchen table in Needham, particularly when I had trouble with anything math or science related – he was a wizard with those subjects. Leading from his example I have tried very hard to make myself available after a hard day at work to help Anna and Claire with, imagine this, math and science, but also other subjects as well…except English, languages and the Arts – I would be doing my girls a disservice is I didn’t punt those to Kate.

In other examples of his leading example as a Dad and family man, his love for his family went beyond the Goldsmith circle. When my wife Kate and I started dating back in 2002, my Dad knew she was the one – he could see it in me. From the moment he realized this, he started to embrace her as his own daughter even before we were engaged in 2003 and married in 2004. This affection and love grew even more as we welcomed our daughters Anna in 2006 and Claire in 2009, and he saw what a fantastic, loving and wonderful mother she is to his granddaughters, which I know he adored and loved tremendously from the countless pictures of the girls he has kept w/ him until this very sad week. I am sure he is looking down on them with loving eyes and a loving heart, but he will not be without them forever. I have placed all of them inside his casket so they can be with him forever.

So Family and Hard Work; Hard Work and Family. Both are important, both are intertwined, and both are forever guides I will have the rest of my life. To you Dad – while I may have never explicitly said Thank You! For these 2 lessons, trust I have ALWAYS felt this way and I am so appreciative to have learned how to be the best at both of these….From You.

In his later years, I know my Dad lived a fairly simple life on his own, dabbling in computer games and some limited programming. But his true computer passions were flight simulators and Tiger Woods PGA golf games. I know these were his passions because when we would talk on the phone he was always sure to share what a great round of golf he had shot, or some exotic location around the world he had just completed a flight to. He already really loved watching TV sitcoms – some things never change. I remember watching Sanford & Son and The Cosby Show with him growing up. Talk about conflicting content. In addition to TV, I know he loved movies and listening to music. I think he has probably 300 music CDs neatly arranged in his home, with some of his favorites being Abba, Elton John and generally classical music. Besides these personal activities, he loved hanging out with his friends – both old and new - going out to dinner and still spending time w/ his family and granddaughters.

Though physical distance has separated him from family over the years – it has still been at the center for him. In his home office, he has what I personally liked to call his “Wall of Honor” where he had numerous photos of myself, my brother, his granddaughters, and various aspects of our lives…again, so he could feel close to us in spirit, even though he wasn’t physically with us. While he did enjoy being in physical proximity when possible, I know he didn’t exactly love to travel…but he still did and went out of his way to do so. Just a mere 2 years ago he flew to Charlotte just to take Kate and me out to dinner at The Fig Tree, Charlotte’s #1 rated restaurant, for our 15th wedding anniversary.

In Closing, I know sometimes in honor or memory of a loved one that a tree is planted in Israel. While at some point we might do that for Dad, in the short-term we have a different plan. We currently have a need in our yard to replace some trees and bushes that have met their maker. We are going to pick out a very special location within the yard, and a very special type of new tree – yet to be decided – and will be planting it in my Dad’s honor and it will forever be known as The Papa Marty Tree. I can still recall to this day it was July 5th, 1981 early on a Sunday morning. My brother and I were watching TV in our living room, specifically “Davey and Goliath”, and my Dad and Mom came into the room and asked us to turn off the TV – I could already tell he was visibly upset. This was the moment he had to share the unfortunate news that HIS Dad, Eli Goldsmith – had suffered a heart attack and passed away that night – fortunately while doing something he really loved…watching the horses at the racetrack.

As I stand here before all of you today, his friends and family, Rabbi Perlman, and Almighty God, I cannot believe that I am now in those same shoes of MY Dad from almost 40 years ago, having to grasp the fact I will live the rest of my life without my Dad in it, without having him with our family at Thanksgiving every year (and not hearing every January he will be calling us in July to book his flights for November), not being able to have him see and share all of the wonderful life events of his granddaughters Anna and Claire such as graduations, weddings (even 1st dates), and maybe even great-grandchildren. But most importantly, I will never be able to just simply hug him tightly and say directly to him “Dad, I Love You” and thank you so much for all you have given to me of yourself in this life. I will love you and miss you for the rest of my days here on Earth, and for all of Eternity. Until we see each other again in the afterlife….just know you will be remembered fondly in the minds and hearts of all of the people you have touched during your blessed life. They are all far better off for having known you. Rest peacefully, Dad, and know that I have loved you all my life and will for the remainder as well.