Here is the complete Eulogy delivered at her memorial service:

An excerpt from Walden: Or, Life in the Woods, by Henry David Thoreau

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

Thoreau concludes Walden with this: If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

Thoreau's message is this: if you advance your life in the direction of how you want it to be, not how convention dictates that it should be, then you will find success on a scale unimagined through reasonable or conventional expectations. And that success will be yours, not what others think it should be.

This is how my Mother lived her life.

In 1959, at the age of 28, she felt that she needed a drastic change in her life. So she packed all of her belongings into a suitcase or two and bought a one-way train ticket to Denver, Colorado  a place she had never been. She had only heard, second hand, that it was a nice place. So she came, on her own, to begin a new chapter in her life.

Within weeks of arriving, she had found a job and rented an apartment. She had not only begun a new adventure, but had also purposefully advanced her life in a new direction  a direction she wanted it to take.

Then later  much later in fact, in 2012, at the age of 81, she had major surgery to remove an abdominal tumor. That tumor was the size of two grapefruit placed next to each other. Recovery took about a month. Afterward, her doctors advised her to undergo chemotherapy and radiation treatments, which they hoped would reduce the chances of the tumor returning in the future. They were clear, however, that the chance of the tumor returning would not be eliminated, it would merely be reduced.

She elected not to get that treatment. Her words to me, when she made this decision, were David, I'm 81 years old. If I only have one year left in me, I'm not going to live that year feeling sick from chemotherapy and radiation, only to have the cancer come back anyway and take me. I'm going to live my last year and be as happy as I can be with the time that I have left.

As it turns out, she had about 2.5 years left. But in the end she was right, the cancer did come back and this time it took her. But in those last 2.5 years, she spent as much time as she could doing the things that she loved. And savoring her time spent doing them. She concluded her life on her own terms and in her own way, and in doing so, made her last years her final success story.

Now, these are two bookending events in her life. And that's not to say that there weren't other adventures and successes in between those events, because there were. Not the least of which being able to properly raise a bit of a petulant son by herself in a small town, with limited income. Which she did successfully and with grace, as she did most things.

But these two decisions were difficult ones to make. It took a lot of maturity and courage just to make those decisions, which then had to be followed with an enormous amount of conviction to see them through to their conclusion. And these were not popular decisions. They did not match the expectations of those around her. Her family didn't want her to leave North Carolina in 1959. And I didn't want her to stop fighting the cancer in 2012. But she made these decisions anyway, these unpopular decisions that broke with conventional expectations, in order to live the life following each of them to the fullest and in a way that she'd not lived before. 

That's how she lived. And that's how she died.

One of the last things she said to me, when she was in Hospice, was you've already done lots of great things in life. Keep doing that. Continue to do great things with your life. And now, having spent some time looking back on her life, I realize what she meant by those words. She meant for me to advance my life in the direction of how I want it to be, not how convention dictates that it should be, and to seek out success in my own way, not in the way others think it should be.

That's the greatest lesson she ever taught me. And it's one I intend to follow.

Mom, I miss you a lot. But I'll never forget you. You'll always be in my memory and in my heart. I love you. Goodbye.

Aunt Lea, you are a beautiful woman you will be misses by us so much.  I will keep my promise to you to keep up with the love of your life, your son David.  It was so good talking with you and sharing our lives.  My mom loves you so much.

Lea, I will miss you very much. I always enjoyed sharing on the phone about
our grandchildren and sharing pictures of  them.Love you, Marlene   
Sis, I'll really miss you. My life will never be the same, but I have 83 years of
memories and a special place in my heart for you. I'll miss talking to you about the Broncos and Panthers. Love,Your Brother ! 
                                                      James and Marlene (Gibsonville,NC)

Lea Walker - the woman I most want to be like when I grow up!  That was our bond, our joke, my most fervent hope.  Did I make it, most definitely no, but I have such wonderful memories; trying with Lea as my guide.  The movies, the champagne and margarita lunches out with the girls, the heart-to-heart chats and the wonderful advice.  
Angels brought you into my life and heart, and Angels took you home but never out of my life- nor from my heart.  I miss you, dear friend, and I'll keep practicing my Lea until I get it right, and until we meet again. 
Love, hugs, and deep sorrow for the sweet life we all lost, but joy for the birth of another angel to watch over us- Lea.

Aunt Lea we will miss you!! I promise to love Papaw enough for the both us!

I miss you, Mom. A lot. But you'll always be in my heart and I will always love you. Today we celebrate your life, which was well spent. We're remembering you, your sense of adventure, and your love for your family. We're all better for having known and loved you. Thank you ... for everything.

I love you.

David

I love Lea. She went from neighbor to friend to mother, grandmother, confidant, shoulder to cry on and so much more. She has had such a positive influence in the lives of myself and my family. I will never forget when my twins were born and we were finally able to get them home, our car was not in the driveway 5 minutes before there was a knock at my door and there was Lea with a huge smile. My kids grew up with her next door and have known her their whole lives. My children love her very much. She will be missed every day. Best wishes to her beautiful family.

OBITUARIO

Lea Elaine Walker

19 agosto, 1931 – 16 junio, 2015

Olinger Andrews Caldwell Gibson Chapel

Muestre su apoyo

Comparta Un Recuerdo

Comparta
Un Obituario

Obtenga actualizaciones

Servicios