If there were more people like Shirley, the world would be a better place.  
My life is richer because I knew her.

Shirley and I met as we left a meeting and walked down the hall. She mentioned that she had two season subscriptions to the Baltimore Symphony.  Presumptuously I proposed to buy one of them. And she agreed to sell it! Thus, we spent two seasons together at symphony concerts. But Shirley also mentioned that she wanted a “prayer buddy,” someone who could pray the Hours with her. Again impulsively, I said, “I can do that.” For two years we met every Monday afternoon to read one of the day's devotions that she selected, to pray, to meditate, and to talk. Oh, what good talks after intimate time in silence.

Shirley told Father Larrivee that she had asked the Lord for a prayer buddy and He had sent her a Presbyterian Buddhist.  

After an absence of almost two years, I returned to Charlestown just in time to be with Shirley over the past six weeks. She was a remarkable woman, with courage, wit, dignity, and grace to the end of her life on earth. It was my good fortune to have met her.

From Proverbs 31: Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. A woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

Shirley Costello was my first and primary mentor through my Social Work and Human Service career in Fairfax and Montgomery County; Shirley and Bob were instrumental in my applying to and gaining admission to the Graduate School at Catholic University.  Shirley ended up being my first year field instructor at Springfield Mental Health Clinic and again was instrumental in my going on to St. Elisabeth's Hospital to do my second year of field instruction.  I remember Shirley talking about their first daughter "Betty" being named after St. E's. I also remember her talking about her graduate school days and having contact with Bishop Fulton Sheen at the CUA Social Work residence in Adams Morgan.  There are many of us at Boy's and Girl's Homes of Montgomery County and at the Mount Vernon Mental Health Center who have worked for and with Shirley over the years who admired her wit, humor, and tenaciousness at getting things done.  Many of us remember her interminable squiggly notes on the side of drafted memos, her ability to, as Sheila Melville would say, direct a "comeupence" with a smile and humor on her face, but the message and "learning opportunity" was clear.  Shirley you will be dearly missed by your family and all of those who worked for you, admired you, and benefited from your knowledge, skill, wisdom, wit, and humor.  Thank You!!

My clearest memory of Shirley is of sitting in her office in the sunroom of the house in Springfield that began as the South County satellite to the Fairfax-Falls Church Mental Health Center, with its garish orchids-on-black-background wallpaper that Shirley likened to the reception area of a house of ill-repute, discussing complex patient situations, of which she dealt with more than her share.  It was from there that she oversaw the development of the Mount Vernon Community Mental Health Center, becoming its first Director.  

Shirley was a talented clinician with the gift of vision on both the individual and the broader social levels.  She could appreciate the implications of the individual's difficulties and of their treatment for their daily life.  At the same time, she could appreciate the implications of the context in which they lived and worked  -- or went to school – for the difficulties they might be experiencing, and what changes it might be necessary to introduce into that context if those difficulties were to be resolved.  And even as a native generosity of spirit led her to perceive situations in their most positive potential, it did not preclude her from recognizing those situations where available interventions were likely to be ineffective.  It was that uncommon gift that made her a valued consultant both for individual patient and for institutional issues.  But it was her energy and off-beat humor that made her a pleasure to work with. . . .

What a lovely lady in every way.  I met Shirley several years ago at St. John's.  I am so sorry!
Prof Ed Burns

Shirley, at this moment you must be enjoying being in the presence of Jesus.
I remember how energetic, fun-loving, thoughtful and wise leader you were.  I am so grateful to have been a member of your leadership team during those golden years of mental health services.  All I can say is you taught me a lot. (I can see you saying, "Let me see that," even before I post this message, just as you used to rewrite my budget proposals.) Rest in Peace.  Lee

Shirley, God bless you for eternity. I will always miss your sharp insight. With love and blessings, Susan at Charlestown.

OBITUARIO

Shirley DeNoma Costello

22 febrero, 1923 – 24 julio, 2013

Sterling-Ashton-Schwab-Witzke Funeral Home of Catonsville, Inc.

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