Haydee Pereda

A death has occurred and everything is changed by this event. We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again, that yesterday is over, that relationships; good, bad, or indifferent are at their final end.

All the wealth, fame and temporal power has shriveled up to irrelevance. It matters not what was owned or what was owed. Grudges, resentments, frustrations, jealousies hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists have all expired.

There is one truth about death. If life went on the same without the presence of the one who died, we could only conclude that the life we remember made no contributions, filled no space, and simply meant nothing.

The poet Frederick Bucchner wrote this about death…When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that when we meet again, you will know me.

After I die, remember me, see my face, hear my voice, and speak to me in your heart.

As large as Haydee’s feisty and saucy personality was in life…that is how she would want you to remember in her death.

Good afternoon. My name is Ronda Berkey and I am honored to be invited as your funeral celebrant today as you have gathered to honor this woman who meant so much too so many!

I was privileged to hear from two daughters, Ana and Haydee the story of their mom…they told me of her sparkling eyes, her mischievous wit, her fierce protective nature for her family and the charismatic way in which she drew so many to her side. She trusted, hoped, prayed, loved and wished. She believed and most of all Haydee or Nanny enjoyed every moment of her journey through this life.

Many ceremonies and special events begin with a candle lighting.

Before we begin this service, we will pause to light candles of remembrance of her passionate spirit.

The lighting of a candle signifies the essence of the beautiful light found in all of us. For Christians; it reminds of our source in life- Jesus Christ who illuminates our way. The flame of a candle is also symbolic of the eternal flame that stands in tribute of those gone before us.

Today it will represent the light and the source of warmth, comfort and guidance that Haydee provided.

We honor Haydee and all the lovely memories she created… I ask daughters, Ann, Haydee and care giver, Chiquis to please step forward to light these candles.

***Lighting of the candle***

As your eyes move between the video and the flame that burns; may you all recall the spirit of Haydee.

Haydee was a devoted wife, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, daughter, and beloved friend. In all the roles she served, she will be celebrated within your hearts and her memory cherished forever.

The ladies told me about this woman who was so protective of her daughters.

In her collective wisdom of how she grew up; the things she endured and the obstacles she overcame; it was her intent to make sure her daughters didn’t experience this. She was strict with them and her protection was often overwhelming.

Haydee was that source of strength- she showed by example that regardless of how difficult it could be – she could do it and she expected the same of you.

Ana had told me of the power she felt her mom had when she prayed for something. Ana had knelt down in front of her mom and grabbed her hands and asked her mom- please pray for me; I need you to do this, and her mom reassuringly told her; it is going to be ok, you can pray for this, God will answer you as well. It was just something in mom’s prayers- she was convinced there was so much more power. You always were confident knowing your mom’s prayers could take the pain away.

She was an example of “When your survival is at stake- you just do it!” She was a single mom, she had a family to take care of! The ladies told me that money was tight growing up but they did what they could. Haydee was resourceful. She worked as a receptionist and needed to look her best. She purchased enough fabric to make five dresses for each day of the week and that became her work uniform. The girls told me that when mom would get her Christmas bonus they would each get a new outfit and if there was a little bit of money left over maybe they would get a pair of shoes too. And of course there was never a better way to show off your new clothes than with a great hairstyle…Haydee told me about those braided buns her mom loved to do with her hair.

Haydee’s strength and protection felt like what you find in Psalm 91- it reaffirms “no evil will conquer you; no plague will come near your home. For He will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.”

In the traditions she cultivated within her family, the ideas and the values of hard work she impressed upon her grandchildren… I heard she was relentless in making sure if there was homework to be done- you did it, she also became somewhat of a security force making sure her grandsons were safe coming back and forth from school.

She could also be that fun loving “Nanny” that would take you on train rides or travel with you on a bus to explore the fun things around town. She also wanted you to celebrate your culture and enjoy the traditional Guatemalan foods she prepared…you had to at least give it a try. She was the ever present grandmother who was there when you needed her, waiting with open arms to comfort you, forgive and mend anything broken – she was LOVE.

It has been comforting to Ana and Haydee to learn that so many other women have experienced the love and loyalty of their mother and how her friendship and wisdom was shared by so many.

A friend Marylu expressed how it was Haydee’s wonderful mothering instinct that taught her how to take care of herself and her home while also taking care of her baby.

Veronica said she had such a generous best friend with Haydee – she was always there to just say anything to.

Esperanza expressed her sadness in the loss of a best friend.

If there is anyone here in this room that would like to express their thoughts or share a memory you are welcome to do it now…. To speak of someone is to pay respect, I know she was so special to all of you….