Barbara Clayton Coats

There are some people that are born to be a light, a beacon of hope, whose very presence makes the world we live in a better place. If you’re lucky, you’ll cross paths with one of these people; if you’re very lucky, you’ll be friends with them. The extraordinarily lucky get to call these rare and beautiful souls family. In the case of Barbara Coats, or Gran-Gran, as she is lovingly known, I would say our family is the luckiest among the extraordinarily lucky. Gran-Gran devoted her life to helping those around her, working tireless hours and then giving her all to friends, family, and even total strangers. She wasn’t one to boast about her good deeds, but, rather, she went about her day-to-day life, selflessly giving to all those around her, spreading joy and offering a kind word, to everyone she met. One story that pretty much sums up Gran-Gran is simple and something she probably didn’t think twice about. For years, she visited a dear family member who was living in a rest home every Thursday. Thursday was Gran-Gran’s day—she did all of her running around, picking up cases of soda on sale at the local drug store for the market, doing a grocery run for all those epic Sunday dinners she cooked, and, of course, visiting Esther at the beauty salon. On one such Thursday, Gran-Gran was wearing a sweater and on her weekly visit to the rest home, someone told her how much they loved the shirt she was wearing. Gran-Gran said thank-you and went about her visit, but wouldn’t you know that the very next week, she had her sweater freshly-laundered and brought it back to give to that person. Yep, that was Gran-Gran—she would literally give you the shirt off her back and think nothing of it.

Anyone who knew Gran-Gran knew that she was all about her family. Fiercely loyal to those she loved, her love was and is the definition of unconditional love. She was born in 1935 to Carl and Ella Clayton with siblings Violet Pigott, Lucille Cousins, Emma Hogg, Annie Margaret Barbour, Carl Clayton Junior, and Jimmy Clayton. Growing up with a disabled brother, Gran-Gran learned how to be a caretaker very early in life. As her parents aged, Gran-Gran took care of them, and then, she took care of each of her sisters until the day they died.

In 1953, Gran-Gran met Charles “D-Dad,” the love of her life. Their romance quickly turned into something more, and in 1954 they got married. Not too long after that, Terry made his entrance into the world. From the very first moment he arrived, Terry was the apple of Gran-Gran’s eye. She spoiled him rotten, and even spoiled many of his friends too. Everyone within a country mile wanted to be at Gran-Gran’s house when she turned out one of her famous meals. In seemingly no time at all, she could turn out a dinner big enough to feed an army in less time than it would take the modern woman to pop a pizza in the oven. Family meals were always a big deal to Gran-Gran and she fed everyone who wanted to come for dinner. When Terry got older and started a family of his own, Gran-Gran’s dinners turned into a family tradition. Every Wednesday night and every Sunday lunch, we got our bellies filled with all kinds of goodness—biscuits, corn bread, barbeque chicken, collards, turnips, sweet potatoes, corn, strawberry cake—you name it, Gran-Gran cooked it! Those dinners are still some of our most cherished memories.

Gran-Gran worked for 38 years at Nationwide Insurance where she rose up in the ranks to become a supervisor. Of course, with Gran-Gran, she would always find a way to help someone, and work was no different. She started a car pool and got up extra early so that she could take other women she worked with to work and get them home too. And then, when she got off work, she always had time to build a fort behind the couch with Casey and Hunter and cook a good meal for D-Dad. And, all the while, Terry and Bebe knew that Gran-Gran’s house was somewhere where they could kick off their shoes, relax, and always get the best advice.

After retiring from Nationwide, Gran-Gran started working with D-dad at the market full-time, where she was known and loved by many. In a time when everyone still got their produce at open air farmer’s markets, there probably weren’t too many people in downtown Raleigh who hadn’t stopped by the City Market and chatted with Barbara and Charles. Gran-Gran was always there to share a smile and a tip on how to cook the perfect greens.

For her entire life, Gran-Gran has been a devout Christian woman and has a large extended family at Amelia Church. She taught Sunday school for many years and was a regular attendee at church services.

The most recent addition to Gran-Gran’s family is her great-grand-daughter Adelyne Grayce. Even though Addie just arrived last year, she already knows and loves her Gran-Gran. From the time Addie was born, Gran-Gran drove over to Casey and Milo’s house almost every day to babysit little Addie. She sat for hours and let Addie nap in her lap and even got down on the floor to play with her just like she did with Casey and Hunter all those years ago. Every time Addie saw Gran-Gran, she would kick her feet and get a big grin on her face—one of the many who got to experience Gran-Gran’s great love.

Gran-Gran is survived by her husband Charles Coats, son Terry Coats and wife Bebe, grand-daughter Casey Hardin, husband Milo and great-grand-daughter Adelyne Grayce, and grandson Hunter Coats and Carly Pruitt.