Kathryn Ann Kane

Kathryn Ann Kane came from a family with a long history of strong women who ventured out into the world. Her grandmother Catherine Healey was an Irish-born lass of 15 from Tipperary when she came alone by boat to the United States in the 1870s and settled in Philadelphia. She soon married Thomas Young (Irish, of course) and they had 12 children, with 7 surviving into adulthood. Kathryn’s mother, Anna Young, was born in 1886. She spent her youth in New York and married John McKevitt in 1914. They went on to have five children. Kathryn was born July 2, 1922 on Long Island in the city of Baldwin. In later years she would go by Kitty, a reflection of her warmth and sparkle. She was raised in the same home with a peaceful childhood interrupted by the death of her father in 1937 when Kitty was 15. In a painful twist of fate, John passed on his 23rd wedding anniversary. Kitty always spoke reverently of her father as one of the kindest men she ever knew. After his death, Anna held her family together through many tough years. She found work cleaning houses to support her family, with all of the children chipping in with after school jobs.

A year after her father died, Warren Francis Xavier Kane came into Kitty’s life. She was a Junior and he was a Sophomore. Warren caught her eye because he wore a sharp suit to high school every day. (Thank goodness for that suit!) When her sister Ann found out, she helped create opportunities for the two to connect and begin their beautiful love story. After high school, Kitty went to work in an insurance office in NYC to continue providing support for her mother and younger brother. A year later, Warren went to Notre Dame on an academic scholarship. Definitely not a football scholarship.

Kitty and Warren married in March of 1944, with Kitty’s younger brother Jack giving away the bride. Warren had left Notre Dame to serve in the Army during the Second World War. Only five months after their wedding Warren was deployed to France. Early in 1945 he stepped on a bomb while in Germany. Kitty received a telegram back in NYC informing her that her husband had been seriously wounded. She saw him for the first time on Valentine’s Day 1945 in a VA hospital, not knowing whether he was missing limbs, vision, his mind…in the end it was a toe. That bomb in Germany could have ended the whole future of this family. Instead Warren came back to his young bride and they built a life together. He recovered from his injuries, went to NYU, and ultimately returned to Notre Dame to finish out his college years. They had their first child, Kathleen, in 1946, while Warren was still working on his engineering degree.

The young Kane family then continued expanding their family. In quick succession, Warren Francis Xavier Jr. was born in 1950, Susan in January of 1952, Sharon in December of 1952 (aka Irish Twins), Stephen in 1956, and Therese in 1959. In the years to come, Kitty and Warren would have 18 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren, with more to come.

During the 1950s the Kane family lived in New York and Oklahoma before heading out west to Southern California. California proved to be a lasting place of good fortune and happiness for the family. Along the way there were some detours as Warren moved up in the corporate world, including two years in Connecticut, but eventually the family settled in San Clemente. During the 1970s, Kitty and Warren often gathered with their six children, spouses, and grandchildren in Pauma Valley. This second home provided fond memories of weekend golf tourneys, tennis matches, square dances, barbecues, and chasing rabbits around the golf course at night.

Warren retired when he turned 60, which made it possible for Kitty and Warren to embark on some adventures. They were able to spend time with their New York relatives, took a trip to Ireland and Europe, headed back to Notre Dame, and started building a home in Lake Arrowhead. In March of 1989, on the eve of their 45th wedding anniversary, Warren held a very memorable event at a local winery in honor of his marriage to Kitty. It was a magical night where three generations toasted to their love and family. It was one of their best celebrations together, but sadly it was also one of their last. Within weeks he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed in September of 1990, just shy of his 67th birthday.

Kitty spent the next 27 years surrounded by her family and dear friends. She remained active, laughed often, danced hard at parties, and was the matriarch of a wild bunch. The friends of her children sought out her friendship because she brought honesty, laughter, and much warmth wherever she went. Kitty had a sparkle that followed her. But she rarely refrained from reminding her children how much she loved and missed her husband. On the eve of her death, her son Warren wrote to the rest of the family. He reflected on what his mother had meant to all of his sisters and brothers: “Can’t believe our Mother is moving on, she has defined our lives. We were so blessed to have Mom and Dad as our parents. I see their spirit and soul in all of our families. I will always be appreciative and strive to pass on our blessing. I love the love.”

James Joyce wrote, “They lived and laughed and loved and left.” But they will never really be gone.