Happy Birthday my precious Angel... I love & miss u so much...

HAPPY NEW YEARS MY LOVE!!! I LOVE U FOR EVER N EVER MY PRECIOUS...

MY SWEET ANGEL I MISS U SO MUCH MY LOVE... EVERYBODY DOES BABY!!!

WOKE UP THINKING OF YOU MY LOVE NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T AND D.D. MISSES YOU SO MUCH TO MY LOVE... I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... TODAY WAS ONE OF THE SADDEST MOTHERS DAY EVER CAUSE ITS MY FIRST WITH OUT YOU. LAST YEAR I HAD JUST FOUND OUT I WAS GONNA HAVE YOU A FEW DAYS EARLIER ON MAY 4TH 2011 I WAS SO HAPPY KNEW I WAS PREGNANT WITH A BOY. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY TIME SURE DOES FLY ALREADY 8 MONTHS WISH YOU WERE HERE SO I COULD SEE HOW MUCH YOU'VE GROWN!!! LOVE YOU TO MUCH PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER SWEET PEA!!!

GOODNIGHT MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY!!! I LOVE YOU TO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY ANGEL ITS MOMMY AND IM MISSIN YOU AND YOUR COUSIN JOSE SO MUCH I WISH I COULD SEE HIM. WATCH OVER HIM MY ANGEL ITS HARD WITH HIM BEING SO FAR AWAY. I LOVE ME PRECIOUS FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!XOXOXO

HI PRECIOUS BABY GABRIEL!!! BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY MY LOVE. JUST LIKE I DO EVERY DAY I CANT HELP IT! THE MONTHS HAVE GONE BY SO FAST AND I JUST KEEP SAYING WE'RE ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING TOGETHER. WELL I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY MOMMY BOUGHT YOU A CANDLE TODAY FROM CHURCH AS SOON AS I SAW IT IT REMINDED ME OF YOU MY BABY. IM GOING TO LIGHT IR FOR YOU TONIGHT AND HOPE THAT IT WILL BRING YOU AND MYSELF MORE PEACE. MY HEART IS SO BROKEN MY LOVE I MISS YOU SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU GABRIEL FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY! ITS MOMMY AS USUAL THINKING ABOUT YOU WONDERING HOW BIG YOU WOULD BE HOW YOU WOULD LOOK AND DREAMING ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU WOULD OF GROWN UP TO BE AND LOOK JUST AS HANDSOME AS YOUR DADDY. HOPEFULLY NONE OF HIS HABITS BUT I WOULDNT CARE EITHER WAY I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE HIM EXACTLY THE WAY HE IS I'D NEVER WANT HIM TO CHANGES HIS WAYS FOR ME HE'S A GOOD MAN. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY IT'S MOMMY... MISSING YOU WISHING YOU WERE HERE WITH ME. I BET YOU WOULD BE UP RIGHT NOW WANTING TO BE FED OR CHANGED... WHAT I WOULD DO TO JUST HAVE YOU BACK HERE WITH ME MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY... WELL MY SON I'LL LET YOU REST I LOVE YOU TO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!

HI MY LOVE SO ITS ALREADY 7 MONTHS SINCE YOU PAST AWAY. NOTHING HAS CHANGED I STILL MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY THE PAIN IN MY HEART FROM LOSING YOU IS STILL THERE. BUT WHAT CAN I DO NOTHING JUST PRAY THAT GOD SENDS YOU BACK TO ME IN SOME WAY. SOME DAYS I JUST CANT TAKE IT I MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS TO BREATHE. WELL MY LOVE I'LL LET YOU GO I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT BUT AT LEAST IT ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING WITH YOU MY LOVE. GOOD NIGHT AND I LOVE YOU SWEET PEA FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY... TODAY YOUR 7 MONTHS OLD TIME IS FLYING BUT STILL FEELS LIKE ITS GOING BY SO SLOW... SO ITS STILL HARD WITHOUT YOU HERE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WISH YOU WERE HERE WITH US... I LOVE YOU FOR EVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

GOOD NIGHT MY LOVE!!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

GOOD MIGHT MY PRECIOUS CHILD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

GOOD NIGHT MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY. PLEASE ASK JESUS IF TONIGHT WAS A SIGN OF WHAT I WANT SO MUCH. IM SURE IT IS SO TELL HIM I SAID THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU MY BABY BOY SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ITS MOMMY!!! WELL YOUR MEMORIAL SERVICE WENT OK I COULDNT HELP IT I CRIED I SAW NATALIE AND BETH YOUR NURSES AND YESENIA THE SOCIAL WORKER. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO BE THERE BUT I DID IT FOR YOU I HATE THAT HOSPITAL I GUESS BECAUSE YOU DIED BUT THEN AT THE SAME TIME ITS LIKE I CANT HATE IT CAUSE THATS WERE ALL MY MEMORIES OF YOU WERE MADE THE ONLY MEMORIES. IM SO LOST WITHOUT YOU AND ALL I WANT IS YOU BACK AND I WANT ANOTHER BABY BUT ITS SO WEIRD I DONT THINK IM GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER ITS GONNA BE HARD I GUESS BUT IM GONNA LEAVE IT UP TO GOD ALL I WANT IS PEACE IN MY LIFE AND TO BE HAPPY! I LOVE YOU MY LOVE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... SORRY I HAVENT BEEN WRITING TO YOU EVERY NIGHT LIKE I USUALLY DO BUT I KNOW YOU KNOW THERE IS NOT A MINUTE THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU MY LOVE. I STILL CANT HELP BUT TO WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT AND THAT MY LIFE WAS BETTER THAN WHAT IT IS NOW I CAN'T HELP BUT TO WISH THAT YOU WERE HERE. YESTERDAY I TOLD GRANDMA OUR BACK SEAT WOULD BE FULL IF YOU WERE HERE BUT YOU SPOT THAT YOUR CAR SEAT SHOULD BE IN IS EMPTY JUST LIKE MY HEART. I HATE THIS BABY I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO THE ONLY THING I KNOW IS THAT THE DAYS ARE NOT GOING BY FAST ENOUGH AND IM STILL HURTING SO BAD. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY MOMMY MISSES U SO MUCH!!!! I LOVE YOU TO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY MISSING YOU SO MUCH!!! JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT AND GOOD NIGHT AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE TODAY HAS BEEN SO HARD... I JUST FEEL LIKE THINGS ARE NEVER GONNA GET BETTER I MISS YOU SO MUCH I NEVER IMAGINED LIVING LIFE WITHOUT YOU MY SON... THIS HAS BEEN THE HARDEST MOST AGONIZING LIFE EXPERIENCE EVER AND ALL I CAN SAY IS WHY AND STILL I HAVE NO ANSWER AS TO WHY... WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU AND I WILL FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

WELL MY LOVE 6 MONTHS ALREADY AND STILL AM HERE SUFFERING WITHOUT YOU... TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS IT'S LIKE HAVING SALT BEING POURED INTO AN OPEN WOUND... WELL I GUESS WHEN GOD DECIDES IT'S TIME FOR MOMMY TO HEAL COMPLETLY THEN I WILL I LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS BABY FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

WELL MY LOVE ITS 6 MONTHS TODAY SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN GONE AND I STILL LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS. BUT WHAT CAN I DO MY LOVE!!!! I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

GOOD NIGHT MY BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

GOOD NIGHT MY PRECIOUS SON MOMMY LOVES YOUI!!!!

HI MY PRECIOUS I'VE BEEN WRITING TO YOU BUT THERE NOT COMING UP BUT I KNOW YOU HERE ME AND SEE ME ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU. WELL THE HOSPITAL IS HAVING A SERVICE FOR ALL THE BABIES AND KIDS I GUESS THAT HAVE DIED IN THE HOSPITAL. ITS GONNA BE HARD FOR ME TO GO BUT IM GOING AND IM SENDING IN A PICTURE FOR THEM TO PUT IN THE SLIDE SHOW. OH MY GOD HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE BROUGHT YOU HOME WITH ME. THERES NOTHING I WANT MORE THAN TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND HOLD YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY SON AND MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE MOMMY HAS BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY ESPECIALLY AT CHURCH WHEN I SAW A BABY THAT PROBABLY IS ABOUT SIX MONTHS OLD LIKE YOU. I JUST WANTED TO TOUCH HIM HE WAS SO CUTE I WANT ANOTHER BABY SO BAD MY LOVE BUT IM SO SCARED. WELL ITS UP TO GOD AND IF IT HAPPENS I HOPE HE GIVES ME ANOTHER LITTLE BOY JUST LIKE YOU MY LOVE MOMMY NEEDS A LITTLE BOY TO HELP HER AND I ALREADY KNOW WHAT I WANT TO NAME HIM JAMES AFTER YOU AND MORGAN AFTER MSGR. MORGAN SO HIS NAME WOULD BE JAMES MORGAN WHAT DO YOU THINK LOVE YOU THINK HE WOULD LIKE HIS NAME. I LOVE IT JUST LIKE I LOVE YOUR NAME GABRIEL NOEL JAMES. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY ITS MIDNIGHT AND IN A FEW HOURS AT 5:55AM YOU WILL BE 6 MONTHS OLD I SURE WISH YOU WERE HERE MY LOVE IT WOULD BE SO MUCH DIFFERENT I WOULDNT BE SAD EVERY DAY. I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH IT STILL HURTS. WELL MY LOVE YOU ALREADY KNOW I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FOREVER WILL BE MY BABY BOY NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT... XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY... WISH I COULD SEE WHAT YOUR DOING AND HOLD YOU AND KISS YOU... I KNOW ALL THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE BUT ONE DAY HOPEFULLY I WILL HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AGAIN AND I WILL FINALLY BE HAPPY. I WISH SO MANY THINGS WERE DIFFERENT AND I WISH I WASNT SO UNSURE OF THINGS AND I WISH I WOULD GET WHAT I WANT JUST A LITTLE HAPPINESS SO HELP ME OUT WITH LIFE EACH DAY I DONT ASK FOR MUCH MOMMY WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD LET JESUS KNOW THATS ALL MOMMY WANTS IS TO BE HAPPY WITH YOUR DADDY... THATS ALL I WANT SINCE I KNOW I CANT HAVE YOU BACK... I LOVE YOU BABY FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ITS MOMMY MISSING YOU SO MUCH... SO I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR BABY PILLOW AND YOUR SISTER JUST GAVE U AN ALIEN. THEY'RE ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU MY LOVE I WISH YOU WERE HERE PLAYING WITH THEM YOU WOULD LOVE THEM THEY ARE SO FUNNY ESPECIALLY DD SHE IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY LOVE I COULDN'T SEE MY SELF GOING THROUGH YOUR LOSS WITHOUT THEM THEY HAVE KEPT ME GOING. I WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY MY LOVE I JUST DONT KNOW WHEN AND IM SO SCARED TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY AND TO GO THOUGH ANOTHER LOSS LOSING YOU KILLED A LITTLE PIECE OF ME. GIVE MOMMY A SIGN MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER MY PRECIOUS SON FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE TODAY HAS BEEN A ROUGH DAY IM SO TIRED OF EVERYTHING... I KNOW LIFE WASNT MEANT TO BE EASY BUT I COULD SURE USE A BREAK... YOUR SISTER NEVER LISTENS TO ME IT WOULD BE SO NICE TO JUST HAVE YOU HERE AND RELAX NEXT TO YOU AND JUST WATCH YOU SLEEP PEACEFULLY... I HATE TO USE THE WORD HATE BUT I SURE DO HATE THE WAY MY LIFE IS GOING SINCE IVE LOST YOU I CANT SEEM TO LET GO AND I HONESTLY DONT WANT TO I WANT ANOTHER BABY BUT THEN WHATS TO SAY I WONT LOSE THE NEXT BABY I DONT THINK I COULD GO THROUGH ANOTHER LOSS LIKE THAT BAD ENOUGH IM PARANOID SOMETHING IS GONNA HAPPEN TO THE GIRLS. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU MY DEAR PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE...XOXOXO!!!

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY GOT YOU YOUR FIRST BABY PILLOW LIKE YOUR SISTERS POOH BEAR AND ITS BLUE I GOTTA PUT YOUR NAME AND WEIGHT N BIRTHDAY AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF. WISH YOU WERE HERE TO ENJOY IT. WELL MY LOVE THERES NOTHING MORE ID RATHER HAVE THAN YOU HER GIGGLING AND COOING AWAY AT YOUR SISTER. YOUR OLDEST SISTERS BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP SHES GONNA BE 7 ALREADY I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD HER SHE WAS SO CUTE AND HAD A LOT OF HAIR OHH AND DD MY POOR BABY SHE WAS ADORABLE WE CALLED HER AND STILL CALL HER BABY WITH A BULBOUS HEAD CAUSE HER HEAD IS SO ROUND SHE WOULD CRY FOR HOURS ON END THOUGH SHE HAS A HEART PROBLEM THAT SEEMS TO BE OK FOR NOW THANK GOD. WATCH OVER HER MY LOVE SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH SHE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT YOU. I HOPE YOUR DOING GOOD BABY AND NOT MISSING ME TOO MUCH LIKE I MISS YOU WILL BE TOGETHER ONE DAY FOR ETERNITY MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE IT'S MOMMY! WE WENT TO CHURCH TODAY AND MSGR. MCGOWEN GAVE THE MASS TODAY DO YOU REMEMBER HIM HE WENT TO SEE ME RIGHT BEFORE I HAD YOU AND I TOLD HIM ALL MY SINS I FELT SO GOOD AFTER I CONFESSED I JUST WISH I WAS STRONG ENOUGH NOT TO GO ON SINNING AGAINST GOD. I AM A WEAK PERSON I GUESS. I BELIEVE GOD IS STILL BY MY SIDE EITHER WAY CAUSE HE LOVES US ALL AND I KNOW HE IS MY SAVIOR AND I WILL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE WITH HIM AND OF COURSE IN THAT LIFE I WILL FINALLY GET TO RAISE YOU MY SON AS I YEARN TO NOW. UNTIL THEN MY LOVE MOMMY IS ALWAYS GONNA MISS YOU AND IM GONNA DO MY BEST TO DO GOOD IN WHAT TIME I'VE GOT LEFT HERE ON EARTH. I LOVE YOU MY DEAR SON WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER I PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY MOMMY IS ALREADY MISSING YOU SO MUCH TODAY I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU COULDNT STAY. ALL I WANT IS TO HOLD YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MANY THINGS GO THROUGH MY HEAD LIKE WOULD SOMETHING BAD HAD HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU WOULD HAVE STAYED. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY I JUST NEED YOU. I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A MASS THIS MONTH SINCE YOU WOULD BE TURNING 6 MONTHS AND THEN ANOTHER WHEN YOU TURN A YEAR OLD. NOT EXACTLY WHAT I HAD PLANNED FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY YOUR FIRST WOULD HAVE BEEN SPECIAL MAYBE THE CARS THEME IT WOULD HAVE BEEN OR SOMETHING WITH FROGS. MY DREAMS ARE SHATTERED ILL NEVER PLAN THAT FIRST PARTY ILL ONLY REMEMBER THOSE 12 SHORT DAYS I HAD WITH YOU IM THANKFUL I GOT YOU THAT LONG BUT ILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT IT WAS ENOUGH I WANTED YOU FOR A LIFE TIME. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE WELL THERES NOTHING MORE I'D RATHER BE DOING THAN HOLDING YOU IN MY ARMS AT THIS MOMENT. MY HEART ACHES FOR YOU LIKE MY ARMS ACHE TO HOLD YOU THIS ISNT FAIR BUT WHAT CAN I DO I FEEL LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE WHO REALLY EVER MISSES YOU BUT I GUESS CAUSE IM YOUR MOMMY. IM FIXING TO GO T CLASS AT THE CHURCH MY LOVE HOPEFULLY ILL FEEL BETTER AFTERWARDS. I JUST WISH YOU WERE HERE MY BABY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE.XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY ITS EARLY AND I'VE BEEN UP FOR AWHILE ALREADY I MISS YOU SO MUCH I CANT HELP IT I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I HELD YOU TILL MY ARMS WENT NUMB CAUSE I WAS TRYING TO KEEP AS STILL AS POSSIBLE SO I WOULD HURT YOU OR PULL ANY OF YOUR TUBES. I WISH YOU WERE HERE AND HEALTHY AND STRONG. I WISH I COULD HAVE LAID DOWN WITH YOU JUST ONCE TO WATCH YOU SLEEP. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ALL I KNOW IS I WANT YOU BACK AND I KNOW ITS NOT POSSIBLE.... IF ONLY I COULD GO BACK IN TIME... I LOVE YOU MY BABY FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ITS MOMMY... IM SO TIRED I TRIED TO KEEP BUSY ALL DAY FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW. I STILL THINK OF YOU ALL DAY LONG. DD SAID YOU ASKED HER TO OPEN YOUR LITTLE MINIATURE TOOL SET. IM SO HAPPY YOU COMMUNICATE WITH HER MY LOVE IT MAKES ME HAPPY PLEASE DO STOP SHE LOVES YOU JUST LIKE I DO BABY. WELL MY LOVE ILL LET YOU GO SO YOU CAN REST YOURSELF ILL WRITE TO YOU AGAIN TOMORROW AND TALK TO YOU WITH MY HEART THROUGHOUT THE DAY AND NIGHT MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY MOMMY IS HAVING A LITTLE BIT OF A BETTER DAY BUT I STILL MISS YOU MORE THAN EVER... MOMMY HAD A LONG DAY I WISH I COULD SEE YOU FOR A DAY AND JUST SEE WHAT YOU DO AND HOW MUCH YOU HAVE GROWN... I GET TO WONDERING THROUGH OUT THE DAY DO WE AGE IN HEAVEN OR DO WE STAY THE AGE WE ARE WHEN WE DIE AND IF SO IS GOD GONNA HAND YOU TO BUNDLED UP IN A BEAUTIFUL BABY BLUE BLANKY WHEN I MAKE IT UP THERE... I HOPE SO. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY THERES NOTHING MORE IN THIS WORLD THAT I WANT BUT YOU AND TO BE HAPPY AND AS LONG AS I DONT HAVE YOU I DONT SEE HOW I CAN EVER BE 100% HAPPY AGAIN. I WANTED A SON MORE THAN ANYTHING AND WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS HAVING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME THINGS WERE GOING MY WAY AND THEN JUST LIKE LIGHTENING STRIKES YOU WERE GONE IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE. THIS HAS TO BE HELL FOR ALL THE PAIN AND SUFFERING THAT PEOPLE ENDURE HERE ON EARTH IN A WAY IM GLAD YOU WILL NEVER FEEL HEARTACHE BUT THEN AGAIN ITS SAD TO ME THAT ILL NEVER SEE YOU GROW INTO A MAN AND FALL IN LOVE... WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS ITS MOMMY SORRY HAVENT WRITTEN TO YOU BUT IM SURE YOU KNOW THERES NOT A MINUTE THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND IM HAVING THE HARDEST TIME DEALING WITH YOUR LOSS THE OTHER NIGHT I WENT TO WHERE WE WERE LAST TRULY HAPPY YOU ME GRANDMA AND SISTERS... THE SEA WALL I CRIED AND JUST ASKED GOD WHY COULDNT I KEEP YOU I WOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU ANY WHICH WAY EVEN IF IT WAS WITH A DISABILITY I DIDNT AND STILL DONT CARE YOU ARE MY SON AND I WOULD HAVE ACCEPTED YOU ANY WHICH WAY. IM SO HURT BUT NOT ANGRY JUST SAD. I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE ANGEL FOREVER AND EVER TILL WE MEET AGAIN!!!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY EVERYTHING SEEMS TO CRASHING DOWN ON ME I WENT TO CHURCH TODAY AND ASKED GOD TO HELP ME I HOPE HE HEARD ME IM SO TIRED OF HURTING... HURTING IS ALL IVE EVER KNOWN IN LIFE AND IM TIRED I WANT MY CHANCE AT HAPPINESS WITH SOMEBODY WHO REALLY LOVES ME WILL GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND HELP ME MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS IN LIFE BUT I ONLY WANT TO BE TRULY HAPPY IS THAT TO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK FOR. I GUESS IT IS I GUESS I HAVENT SUFFERED ENOUGH... BUT ITS OK ILL SUFFER AS MUCH AS I NEED TO AS LONG AS IN THE END IM GREETED BY YOU...WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!! XOXOXO

HELLO MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... IM WATCHING MOVIES HERE AT HOME WITH GRANDMA AND BIG SISTERS WISH YOU WERE HERE LAYING IN THE BED WITH US MY LOVE BUT I KNOW YOUR HERE JUST NOT PHYSICALLY LIKE I WISH YOU COULD. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE ALL I WANNA DO IS HOLD YOU AND KISS YOU AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND JUST WATCH YOU GROW INTO A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN. I'LL NEVER GET TO SEE THAT BUT IM GLAD I GOT THE LITTLE TIME I DID GET WITH YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY MY LOVE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE! XOXOXO P.S. I COULD REALLY USE A GOOD NIGHT KISS TONIGHT FROM YOU MY LITTLE ANGEL GABRIEL!!!

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... I GOT YOU A NEW FROGGET TODAY I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BABY. YOU KNOW YOUR ALWAYS ON MY MIND WHERE EVER I GO AND WHAT EVER IM DOING IM ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU MY LOVE I WISH I HAD YOU HERE WITH ME IN MY ARMS BUT I KNOW I CANT HAVE THAT I DONT KNOW I JUST NEED YOU MY LOVE THIS HURTS SO MUCH BEING WITH OUT YOU. YOU SHOULD HAVE COME HOME BUT AT LEAST I GOT YOU FOR 12 DAYS WISH I COULD OF HAD YOU FOR A LIFE TIME ITS NOT FAIR AND I KNOW LIFE ISNT EASY BUT WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS LIFE I HAVE THAT SOMETIMES I FEEL IS SO WORTHLESS. ALL I WANTED WAS A LITTLE BOY AND I CAME HOME WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR MEMORY AND THE MEMORY OF SIGNING A DNR FOR YOU ON MY BIRTHDAY. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY BEEN THINKING AND TALKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY MY LOVE CANT HELP IT MISS YOU SO MUCH BUT AT LEAST  IM TRYING TO FIND THE HUMOR IN THIS ALL LIKE I USE TO YOU KNOW ITS HARD BUT I NEED TO KEEP TRUCKIN AS THESE WHITE PEOPLE SAY!!! I LOVE YOU S MUCH MY LOVE YOUR APART OF MY EVERY DAY EVEN IF YOUR NOT HERE AND SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT UNDERSTAND BUT YOU KNOW ME ALL I CARE ABOUT IS YOU AND YOUR SISTERS ALWAYS YOU ALL ARE MY LIFE. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER WITH ALL MY HEART PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY MISSING YOUR LIKE CRAZY I KNOW GOD IS WITH ME THROUGH ALL THIS AND CARRYING ME WHILE IM LIKE THIS GRIEVING BUT I CANT HELP BUT TO STILL WISH YOU WERE HERE IN MY ARMS IT HURTS SO MUCH THAT YOU NOT HERE WITH ME IN MY ARMS. I TALKED ABOUT YOU AND CRIED AT THE THEOLOGY CLASS TODAY AT THE CHURCH AND I DO THINK GOD AND I HAVE A PERSONAL RELATION SHIP AND HE LOVES ME AS HE LOVES EVERY ONE UNCONDITIONALLY AFTER WE DISAPPOINT HIM AND OURSELVES HE STILL LOVES US. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU AND IM SO THANKFUL FOR THE TIME I GOT WITH YOU AND EVEN THOUGH IT WASNT A LIFETIME IT WAS WORTH EVERY SECOND MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HELLO MY PRECIOUS BABY ITS MOMMY... TODAY MORE THAN EVER I WISH THING WERE DIFFERENT AND THAT EVRYTHING WAS THE WAY I WANT IT FOR ONCE. IM TIRED OF BEING WHO I AM AND NOT BEING ABLE TO OPEN MY EYES AND REALIZE WHAT I REALLY KNOW IN MY HEART BUT I GUESS THATS LOVE RIGHT BLIND AND UNCONDITIONAL ALL MOMMY HAS EVER WANTED WAS TO BE HAPPY AND I KNOW IM NOT PERFECT BUT WHY DO I SUFFER THIS WAY... WELL I LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE IT'S MOMMY MISSING YOU SO MUCH CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD YOU AGAIN MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY. HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR SURPRISE I LOVE IT CAUSE IT'S ALL YOU MY LOVE...MOMMY HAD A VERY GOOD WEEKEND MADE SOME GOOD MEMORIES AND TALKED ABOUT YOU A LOT AND WE WERE TALKIN ABOUT HOW CHUNKY YOU WOULD BE BY NOW MY CHUBS... WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE! XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE FINALLY MOMMY'S GETTING YOUR LITTLE SURPRISE TODAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DONT EVER FORGET THAT OK MY BABY BOY JUST BECAUSE YOUR NOT HERE DOESNT MEAN I LOVE YOU ANY LESS MY PRECIOUS YOU WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER BE MY ANGEL BABY GABRIEL. I HOPE YOU LOVE YOUR SURPRISE MY I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER MY PRECIOUS ANGEL!!! XOXOXO

HI MY BABY SORRY ITS LATE MY LOVE MOMMY HAS HAD A LONG DAY ESPECIALLY CAUSE TODAY YOU TURNED 5 MONTHS. I STARTED THE THEOLOGY CLASS AT CHURCH TODAY. I LIKE IT AND SOME HOW I THINK IM THERE BECAUSE YOU SENT ME THERE. OF ALL DAYS FOR IT TO START ON YOUR 5 MONTH BIRTHDAY. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ITS MOMMY BABY... I GOT A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU TOMORROW HOPE YOU LIKE IT MY LOVE... YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME AND I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART BABY BOY AND I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO THIS FOR YOU SO I AM. I HOPE THINGS START GETTING BETTER FOR ME MY LOVE AND I START TO ACTUALLY BE HAPPY FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I LOVE YOU MY PRECIOUS SON FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE TOMORROW YOU WILL BE 5 MONTHS OLD!!! XOXOXO

HI MY BABY. TODAY OUT OF THE BLUE I SAW MYSELF AT THE HOSPITAL DOWN IN THE CAFE SITTING WHERE I WOULD SIT WHEN I WOULD GO EAT DOWN THERE I WAS ALONE AS USUAL I KNOW I WAS JUST WAITING FOR MY PHONE TO RING SO I CAN RUN BACK UP TO SEE YOU BUT MY PHONE NEVER RANG. I WONDER WHY I SAW THAT IMAGE OF MYSELF THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK IT MEANT IS THAT THATS THE WAY IM GOING TO BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WAITING AND ALONE. I CANT WAIT TILL ITS ALL OVER AND I AM FINALLY WITH YOU MY BABY. TODAY I ALSO REMEMBERED CALLING YOU MR. WIGGLES CAUSE YOU MOVED AROUND SO MUCH SOMETIMES. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU ALWAYS WILL FOREVER AND EVER!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... NOT A GOOD DAY TODAY SO MANY THINGS GOING CRAZY. WISH YOU WERE HERE MY LOVE. IT HURTS SO MUCH I MISS YOU MY BABY I WISH I WAS CARRYING YOU RIGHT NOW CAUSE IF I WAS NOTHING ELSE WOULD MATTER. I CANT HELP BUT TO BE SELFISH AND WISH FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME MY LOVE OR TO JUST GO BACK IN TIME AND NOT GO TO THE BEACH MAYBE I WOULD STILL HAVE YOU MY LOVE. WELL IM GONNA CRY NOW MY BABY I MISS YOU SO MUCH I FEEL EMPTY INSIDE WITHOUT YOU MY PRECIOUS. I LOVE YOU MY GABRIEL FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BAY BOY ITS ME MOMMY... REMEMBER THE TOY I TOLD YOU SISTER WANTED FOR YOU AND GRANDMA GOT IT WELL SHE LEFT IT AT CHILIS LAST NIGHT AND LUCKILY THEY STILL HAD IT SO I PICKED IT UP IM SURE SISTER WILL COME GIVE IT TO YOU SOON WITH A LITTLE CAR TOO. YOUR ACCUMULATING ALL THESE TOYS LOVE I HOPE YOU FEEL HOW MUCH YOUR LOVED AND MISSED MY GABRIEL. WELL MY LOVE I MISS YOU SO MUCH CANT BELIEVE IN A FEW DAYS YOU'LL BE 5 MONTHS OLD. THE YEAR IS GONNA GET HERE PRETTY SOON LOVE I KNOW YOUR NOT HERE BUT I STILL WANT TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY AS IF YOU WERE HERE LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE! XOXOXO

HELLO MY PRECIOUS BABY GABRIEL.... FELT YOUR PRESENCE IN CHURCH TODAY FIRST SONG WAS 909 GLORY AND PRAISE TO OUR GOD I KNEW AS SOON AS I SAW THE NUMBERS YOU WERE THERE MY LOVE. I REALLY NEEDED THAT SIGN FROM YOU MY LOVE IT HELPS MOMMY SO MUCH TO KNOW YOUR NEAR MY LOVE. YOU SISTER GOT A TOY FOR YOU TODAY DD ALWAYS SAY FOR MY BABY BROTHER SO GRANDMA GOT IT I THINK SHE LEFT IT IN THE TRUCK BUT ILL GET IT OFF TOMORROW SO YOU CAN SEE IT MY LOVE. ITS RAINING REALLY HARD AND THUNDERING I HOPE GOD ISNT UPSET. I LOVE YOU BABY FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE...XOXOXO

HI MY BABY... HOPE YOUR HAVING FUN AND PLAYING WITH ALL THE OTHER BABY ANGELS MY LOVE. I SAW OUR DR. TODAY AND BELINDA THE NURSE THEY MISS YOU TO MY LOVE AND LOVE THE NEW NECKLACE YOUR GOD PARENTS GAVE US. I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE THEM IN MY LIFE BABY I DONT THINK ANY OTHER DR WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD AND UNDERSTANDING AS HER AND HER STAFF. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I HAD TO HAVE MORE TEST RUN BUT AS LONG AS YOU KEEP SHOWING ME SIGNS I WONT GIVE UP ON FIGHTING WHAT EVER IT IS I NEED TO FIGHT MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AN EVER GABRIEL NOEL JAMES!!! XOXOXO

HELLO MY LOVE ITS YOUR MOMMY STILL HERE MISSING YOU MORE AND MORE EACH DAY BUT TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR IN A BETTER PLACE. THERE ISNT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT I DONT THINK OF YOU MY LOVE YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JUST LIKE DD SAYS I AM YOUR. I REALLY DO BELIEVE YOU TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME THROUGH HER I MAYBE WRONG BUT IT HELPS ME TO FEEL YOU CLOSE MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU MY SPECIAL BABY BOY FOREVER AN EVER PROMISE!!! XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ITS MOMMY MY SWEETY PIE! AND DD NANANA SHE MISSES YOU JUST LIKE MOMMY. SHE IS HELPING ME TYPE WITH ONE LITTLE FINGER. THERES NOT A DAY THAT GOES BY THAT SHE DOESNT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU MY LOVE HER AND YOUR BIG SISTER GOT YOU A MCDONALDS TOY YESTERDAY DOMINIQUE GOT IT IN HER KIDS MEAL BY MISTAKE AND SHE WENT TO THE COUNTER AND SAID IM A GIRL I NEED A GIRL TOY BUT CAN I KEEP THIS FOR MY BABY BROTHER. THEY LOVE YOU BABY AND MISS YOU LOVE I HOPE YOU CAN FEEL ALL THE LOVE WE HAVE FOR YOU IM NEVER AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MY LIFE MY BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PRECIOUS FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY MOMMY CANT HELP BUT TO MISS YOU SO MUCH I WENT TO CHURCH TODAY AND CRIED. I CRIED JUST LIKE I DID WHEN I BEGGED GOD TO LET ME KEEP YOU IN THE LITTLE CHAPEL AT THE HOSPITAL. IM CRYING NOW CAUSE MY WHOLE EXSISTANCE HERE FEELS WORTHLESS WITHOUT YOU. EVERYONE IS HAVING THERE BABIES HEALTHY WITH NO PROBLEMS AND IM HERE WATCHING AND WISHING THAT WAS US BUT ITS NOT THIS IS TORTURE WATCHING ALL THESE BABIES GO HOME WITH THERE MOTHERS AND I CAME HOME ALONE WITH NOTHING BUT YOUR MEMORIES AND BELONGINGS IN HAND NOT YOU BREATHING IN MY ARMS AND WIGGLING AROUND I CAME HOME EMPTY HANDED. ALL I CAN ASK IS WHY WHY WHY AND I GET NO ANSWER BUT I GET MORE AND MORE TEARS CAUSE THIS IS SO HARD TO BEAR I KNOW GOD IS HOLDING ME BUT I STILL FEEL SO ALONE AM TRYING SO HARD BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I HATE THIS I JUST WANNA SCREAM. IM SO ALONE I WANT YOU BACK. I LOVE YOU GABRIEL WITH ALL MY HEART MY LOVE PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER!XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY... STILL THINKING OF YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE. YOUR DADDY SURPRISED ME TODAY AND CAME BY THAT WAS SWEET OF HIM I WISH WE COULD SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER BUT IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. MAYBE ONE DAY IT WONT BE WHO KNOWS ONLY GOD DOES. ITS SO MUCH EASIER WHEN HES NEAR ME CAUSE HE REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF YOU AND YOU HAD HIS FACE BABY I THINK YOU AND DADDY WOULD HAVE BEEN IDENTICAL RIGHT DOWN TO THE CHUBBINESS SINCE YOU WERE WEIGHING IN MORE THAN A 22 WEEKER. YOU WERE SO STRONG MY LOVE I WISH THINGS WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENT AND YOU COULD OF STAYED BUT THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT THAT I STILL LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE!!!XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY YOUR GOD PARENTS GAVE ME ANOTHER NECKLACE TO PUT SOME OF YOUR ASHES IN IT BEAUTIFUL I LOVE ESPECIALLY CAUSE IT HOLDS A LOT MORE OF YOU IN IT. ITS BEAUTIFUL JUST LIKE YOU MY LOVE I CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU I WENT TO CHURCH AND I BEEN CRYING SO MUCH IT HURTS MY LOVE BEING HER WITHOUT YOU IN MY ARMS OTHERS ARE HAVING BABIES AND ITS SO HARD FOR ME TO BE HAPPY FOR THEM CAUSE ITS NOT FAIR AT LEAST THATS THE WAY I FEEL. ONE SLAP IN THE FACE AFTER ANOTHER IS HOW I FEEL AND I KNOW ITS WRONG BUT WHAT CAN I DO. I LOVE YOU GABRIEL NOEL JAMES FOREVER AND EVER MY PRECIOUS SON...XOXOXO

HI MY BABY ALL I WANT IS YOU BACK I CANT STAND THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING YOU HERE WITH ME. THE LAST FEW DAY I KEEP THINKING WHAT IF WHAT IF WOULD YOU STILL BE HERE HOME WITH ME. I THINK IM FINALLY COMING T TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT I WILL NEVER TRULY BE HAPPY EVER AGAIN LET ALONE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY ITS HARD LIFE THAT IS IT REALLY GETS YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN. WELL MY LOVE ITS LATE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS CRY I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE MY LOVE!!! XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE I GUESS THE SITE HERE HAS BEEN HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE MY NOTES HAVEN'T BEEN COMING OUT THE LAST FEW DAYS. WELL YOU KNOW I WRITE TO YOU EVERY DAY NO MATTER WHO LATE IT IS I DONT EVER WANT YOU TO THINK MOMMY HAS FORGOTTEN YOU BECAUSE I NEVER WILL MY LOVE YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JUST LIKE YOUR SISTERS I WISH WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL THAT YOU WERE PHYSICALLY HERE NOW I WOULD BE SO HAPPY. I STILL FEEL LIKE I FAILED YOU MY LOVE AND IM SORRY IF I DID YOU WERE SUCH A LITTLE FIGHTER I THINK BACK TO THAT MORNING AND I THINK I SHOULD OF LET THEM AT LEAST TRY THE STUPID PROCEDURE AND MAYBE YOU WOULD BE HERE BUT THEN AGAIN I THINK WHAT AND HOW WOULD I HAVE FELT IF YOU WOULD HAVE DIED DURING THE PROCEDURE.... YOU AND WHO EVER APPROVES ALL THESE ENTRIES PROBABLY THINK IM OBSESSED AND CRAZY FOR WRITING YOU EVERY DAY BUT THIS HELPS ME SO MUCH TO STAY FOCUSED ON THE PRESENT AND MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT YOU PHYSICALLY HERE AND BECAUSE IM STILL NOT READY TO LET YOU GO COMPLETELY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE!!!XOXOXO

HEY MY LOVE ITS MOMMY... WISH I COULD SEE YOU FOR MY SELF AND SEE HOW YOUR DOING.. MOMMY IS SO READY TO GIVE UP LOVE MOMMY IS TIRED LOVE BUT DONT WORRY IM GONNA BE GOOD SO I CAN EVENTUALLY BE WITH YOU THIS JUST HURTS SO MUCH LIFE ISNT EASY IM GLAD IN AWAY YOU DONT HAVE TO GO THROUGH HEARTACHES AND PAIN. IM SO CONFUSED ABOUT MY WHOLE LIFE SO I ADMIT YES MOMMY IS A NUT JOB. BUT ALL THAT DOESNT CHANGE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. I JUST NEED HELP LOVE I FEEL SO LOST N ALONE HERE AND ANGRY AT SO MANY THINGS! I LOVE YOU FOR EVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE!

HI MY PRECIOUS BOY... SORRY SO LATE BABY DD AND I WERE WITH TIA EMI. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE. I WENT TO THE DR MORE TEST BUT THATS FINE I SAID I WAS GONNA PUT UP A FIGHT FOR YOU CAUSE I KNOW IN MY HEART YOU SACRIFICED YOUR LITTLE LIFE FOR ME TO LIVE LONGER MY BRAVE BABY BOY. I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS MY LOVE I WANT ANOTHER BABY SO BAD BUT IM SCARED TO DEATH TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY SO SOON. BUT ILL LEAVE IT UP TO FATE. I LOVE YOU MY LOVE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE! XOXOXOX

WELL HELLO MY SWEET BABY BOY I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPEN TO YESTERDAY NOTE TO YOU IT DIDN'T GET POSTED BUT ITS OK YESTERDAY WAS 4 MONTHS SINCE YOU PASSED AWAY AND I STILL MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS STILL I DONT THINK THE PAIN WILL EVER GO AWAY BUT I GUESS I DESERVE THE PAIN TO PAY FOR ALL MY SINS. WELL WERE ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING TOGETHER AND I PERSONALLY WISH IT WAS SOONER THAN LATER. ONLY GOD KNOWS WHEN ALL I KNOW IS THAT I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND WISH THAT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR DADDY. WELL MY PRECIOUS I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE! XOXOXO

HI MY BABY IT'S MOMMY! THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS SHOWING ME YOUR AROUND. I KNOW EVERY TIME I LOOK AT THE CLOCK IT'S 9:09 I KNOW IT'S YOU MY LOVE LETTING ME KNOW IT'S YOU MY LOVE. WE'RE HERE AT YOUR GREAT GRANDMAS IM SURE YOU REMEMBER HER I TOOK CARE OF HER WHILE YOU WERE IN MY BELLY. I USE TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY BELLY WHILE I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU HERE. I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY GABRIEL SOMETIMES I JUST WISH THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE OR I WAS IN A COMA AND I WOULD WAKE UP AND YOU WOULD BE HERE. WELL MY SWEET PRECIOUS BOY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE WERE ONE DAY CLOSER TO BEING TOGETHER. BABY IF YOU CAN WATCH OVER YOUR DADDY HE'S GOIN THROUGH A LOT I KNOW I HAVE NO RIGHT TO ASK BUT HE REALLY NEEDS YOU LITTLE ANGEL! XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE IT'S MOMMY! SAW YOUR DADDY AGAIN TODAY HE MAKES ME FEEL HAPPY EVERYTIME I SEE HIM HE MAKES ME LAUGH. I STILL WISH YOU WERE HERE YOU WOULD BE GOIN EVERYWHERE WITH US AND IM SURE YOU WOULD LOVE IT.  IM STARTING TO FEEL REALLY SAD BABY I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS. AND I WANT ANOTHER BABY BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY EVEN THINKING ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER ONE AND THEN I GET SO SCARED CAUSE I COULDN'T BARE THE LOSS OF ANOTHER BABY BAD ENOUGH I GET SO PARANOID OVER YOUR SISTERS. OH MY BABY I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER MY GABRIEL PROMISE PLEASE HELP ME MY LOVE.XOXOXO

HI MY BABY GABRIEL... ITS MOMMY MY LOVE! SAW YOUR DADDY TODAY I FEEL YOU SO CLOSE TO ME WHEN IM NEAR HIM. I GUESS THAT'S CAUSE EVERYTIME I LOOK AT HIM I SEE YOU. YOU HAD YOUR DADDY'S NOSE AND HIS EYES. OH I MISS YOU SO MUCH MY BABY BOY. IT HURTS SO MUCH TO BE HERE WITHOUT YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO HOLD YOU OR FEED YOU CHANGE YOUR DIAPER. I WANT TO CRY BUT CRYING ISN'T GONNA BRING YOU BACK TO ME. THE SADNESS IN MY HEART IS SO DEEP MY BABY I CAN'T SEEM TO BRING MYSELF OUT OF THAT SADNESS AT TIMES ACCEPT WHEN IM WITH YOUR DADDY... I WISH SO MANY THINGS WERE DIFERENT AND YOU COULD HAVE STAYED. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY BABY FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE! XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY MOMMY GRANDMA AND SISTERS ARE GONNA GO TO SAN ANTONIO TO SAY GOOD BY TO ROSA GREAT GRANDMAS FRIEND TIO VALDO MOMMA SHES IN HEAVEN WITH YOU NOW MY LOVE. IT FEELS LIKE JUST EVERYONE IS LEAVING US BUT ITS OK WILL ALL BE TOGETHER SOON. WELL MY LOVE WATCH OVER US AND KEEP US SAFE WHILE WERE ON THE ROAD AND TAKE CARE DADDY AND GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ME N WHISPER TO HIM THAT I LOVE HIM. I LOVE YOU MY BABY FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE XOXOXO

HI MY BABY BOY ITS MOMMY. THINKING ABOUT YOU AS USUAL WISH I COULD SEE YOU HOLD YOU AND JUST TOUCH YOUR BABY SOFT SKIN AGAIN ITS SO HARD TO BE HERE WITHOUT YOU I FEEL SO EMPTY WITHOUT YOU HERE MY LOVE. I HOPE ME THINKING ABOUT YOU AND MISSING YOU ISNT KEEPING YOU FROM RESTING MY LOVE FORGIVE ME IF IT IS I WASNT READY TO LET YOU GO EVEN WHEN MY HEART KNEW YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE MY MIND DID NOT WANT TO EVER ACCEPT IT. WELL MY DREAM BECAME A REALITY AND FOREVER CHANGED MY LIFE AND THE WAY I LOOK AT LIFE. SO MANY THINGS ARE DIFFERENT AND ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT MAN I WISH I HAD YOU HERE WITH ME ESPECIALLY CAUSE IM SO LONELY. I KNOW I HAVE THE GIRLS BUT I HAD YOU FOR ONLY A SECOND IT FEELS LIKE AND I LOVED YOU JUST THE SAME AS I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART SOUL AND EVERY ELEMENT OF MY BEING...I LOVE YOU MY LOVE FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HELLO MY PRECIOUS BABY BOY LOVING AND MISSING YOU MORE THAN EVER STILL CANT BELIEVE THESE 4 MONTHS HAVE PASSED BY SO FAST WITH OUT YOU I CANT HELP BUT TO STILL WANT YOU HERE AND WONDER HOW BIG YOU WOULD BE AND WHAT YOU WOULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW IT HURTS BUT I HAVE TO BE OK WITH IT CAUSE GOD KNOWS WHAT HE DOES AND IM NOT TURNING MY BACK ON HIM JUST BECAUSE HE NEEDED YOU BACK I THINK ITS ONLY FAIR HE GAVE YOU TO ME AND HE GAVE US JESUS TO SAVE US SO I CANT COMPLAIN I GOT TO MEET YOU AND HOLD U AND LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. WELL MY LOVE I WILL BE HERE TILL GOD IS READY TO TAKE ME HOME TO BE WITH YOU I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER I PROMISE MY LOVE. XOXOXO

HI BABY SORRY ITS LATE. I HOPE IM NOT WAKING U UP FROM A NAP. I GOT YOUR NECKLACE BLESSED TODAY AT CHURCH. MSGR.MORGAN NEW EXACTLY HOW THE NECKLACE MADE ME FEEL AND SAID EXACTLY WHAT I FELT WHEN I GOT IT THIS IS GONNA HELP ME TO HEAL ALONG WITH GODS GOOD GRACE AND OF COURSE YOUR DADDY WHO I LOVE SO MUCH. I LOVE HAVING YOU WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO. WELL MY LOVE ILL LET YOU GET BACK TO YOUR PARADISE I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE MY DEAR SWEET BABY GABRIEL NOEL JAMES! XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY AND IM SO HAPPY I GOT THE NECKLACE TODAY I PUT SOME OF UR ASHES IN IT. IT FEELS SO GOOD TO HAVE U AROUND MY NECK. AND OF COURSE CLOSE TO MY HEART. BABY I NEEDED THIS SO MUCH BABY. I DIDNT CRY AT ALL I FELT A LITTLE WHOLE AGAIN BUT IM STILL MISSING U BUT IN GOOD TIME MY LOVE WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOREVER. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE XOXOXO!!!

HELLO MY BABY BOY ITS MAMA SISTER HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU A LOT TODAY SO I KNOW YOUR IN A PLAYFUL MOOD. IM SO HAPPY THE NECKLACE FOR YOUR ASHES SHOULD BE HERE TOMORROW I CANT WAIT MY LOVE ESPECIALLY TO WEAR IT AROUND MY NECK EVERYDAY AND HAVE U WITH ME ALL THE TIME. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME I WISH I COULD OF KEPT YOU LONGER BUT GOD NEEDED YOU BACK AND I KNOW YOU KNOW EITHER WAY I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL BABY. WELL MY LOVE TILL TOMORROW I LOVE YOU FOR EVER AND EVER MY GABRIEL PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY I TALKED ABOUT YOU A LOT TODAY AND I LEARNED THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DEAL WITH LOSS DIFFERENTLY IM SO GLAD I AM ONE THAT BELIEVES IN GOD AND IN HEAVEN THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT DONT BELIEVE I CANT HELP BUT NOT TO BELIEVE ESPECIALLY WHEN GOD SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE YOU HOME AND LET ME SEE IT WITH MY OWN EYES AND THEN ALL THE SIGNS I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND ITS GETTING EASIER NOT TO CRY BUT THE PAIN IS STILL THERE BUT I KNOW GOD IS HELPING ME AND HES LETTING ME GRIEVE YOU CAUSE HE KNOWS I LOVE YOU JUST LIKE HE LOVED HIS SON JESUS WHO WAS HIS ONLY SON GOD SACRIFICED SO MUCH FOR US IM SO GRATEFUL I GOT THE 12 DAYS I DID WITH YOU ALTHOUGH I WISH I COULD OF HAD MORE IM OK BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WITH GOD AND OTHER FAMILY THAT HAS MADE IT TO HEAVEN BEFORE US AND IM SURE YOU MET LOLI SHES THE SWEETEST BABY AND I KNOW SHE IS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THE KISS I SENT WITH HER FOR YOU I KNOW SHE GAVE YOU A BIG HUG AND KISS CAUSE SHE KISSED AND HUGGED EVERYONE ALL THE TIME EVEN IF SHE HADNT SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME. WELL BABY YOUR SISTER DD IS NOT FEELING WELL IM GONNA TAKE CARE HER NOW I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE ITS MOMMY. I WENT TO LORI'S SERVICE TODAY IT WAS SO SAD BUT SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL AND JUST LIKE YOU SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS JUST SLEEPING I BET HER MOMMY IS SO HAPPY SHE GETS TO HOLD HER BABY AGAIN I CANT WAIT TILL I GET TO HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AGAIN TOO.YOU KNOW BY NOW MOMMY REMEMBERS YOU EVERY DAY AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU MY LOVE. AND I PROMISE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND MORE EACH AND EVERYDAY MY PRECIOUS SON! XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE HAPPY 4 MONTH OLD BIRTHDAY I WISH I COULD SEE HOW MUCH U HAVE GROWN. I MISS U SO MUCH MY PRECIOUS BOY I LOVE U MORE THAN I CAN EXPLAIN ITS SO PAINFUL BEING HERE WITH OUT U WISH WE COULD OF HAD JUST ONE NIGHT WHERE I COULD HAVE SLEPT NEXT TO U IN UR CRIB OR U COULD HAVE LAID DOWN WITH ME IN MY BED AND I COULD JUST WATCH U SLEEP ONLY IN MY DREAMS LOVE I CANT WAIT TO SEE U AGAIN. I LOVE U MY GABRIEL FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BABY. WELL TODAY HAS BEEN A SAD DAY FOR US IM SURE YOU KNOW LORI PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING IM SURE YOU WERE THERE TO WELCOME HER MY LOVE I TOLD HER TO GIVE YOU A BIG HUG AND KISS FOR ME SHE ALWAYS GAVE THE BEST HUGS SHE WAS AND IM SURE STILL IS VERY LOVEABLE AND I BET SO HAPPY TO BE WITH HER MOMMY. ONE DAY BABY THAT WILL BE US FINALLY GETTING OUR CHANCE TO BE TOGETHER. WELL TOMORROW IS ANOTHER SAD DAY FOR ME YOU TURN 4 MONTHS OLD TOMORROW AND MORE THAN EVER I WISH YOU COULD BE HERE. WELL I LOVE YOU MY GABY FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI PRECIOUS ITS MOMMY MISSING U AS USUAL MY LOVE I CANT SEEM TO NOT THINK OF U IN EVERYTHING THAT I DO. I FINALLY ORDERED THE NECKLACE FOR UR ASHES HOPE I GET IT SOON I CANT WAIT TO HAVE U WITH CLOSE TO MY HEART ALL THEM TIME I MISS U SO MUCH MY BABY BOY. WELL MY LOVE IM GONNA LET U REST I LOVE U FOR EVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BABY GABRIEL! BEEN THINKING ABOUT U ALL DAY I MISS U SO MUCH WISH I COULD JUST HOLD U AND KISS U. THANK U FOR HELPING LORI BABY SHES IN A REGULAR ROOM NOW I JUST KNOW U WERE WATCHING OVER HER. I FELT U IN THE ROOM WHEN I WENT TO SEE HER I LOVE U SO MUCH BABY. I CANT WAIT TO SEE U AND JUST BE WITH U. YOUR DADDY AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO US AFTER WE DIE AND IF WE EVER COME BACK. ALL I KNOW IS I KNOW GOD EXIST AND I DONT UNDERSTAND HIS PLAN BUT I KNOW IN THE END HE WILL LET ME SEE U AGAIN AND I KNEW WHEN I SAW THE BIRD AT THE WINDOW WHEN U DIED MY LOVE I JUST CAN WAIT ITS SO HARD BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO IF I WANT TO SPEND AN ETERNITY WITH U. WELL MY GABY I LOVE U SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER PRECIOUS!!!XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BOY IM STILL HERE MISSING YOU AND WISHING SO MANY THINGS WERE DIFFERENT. I FEEL SO ALONE AND NEEDY RIGHT NOW ITS PITIFUL. I SHOULD BE USE TO BEING ALONE BY NOW BUT I GUESS I HAVENT PAID ENOUGH FOR MY SINS YET TO ACTUALLY FIND HAPPINESS LET ALONE TRUE LOVE. WELL MY LOVE JUST WATCH OVER ME CAUSE IM LOSING MY MIND AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HELLO MY PRECIOUS BOY ITS MOMMY. I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR DADDY TODAY. I MISSED HIM SO MUCH. AND I MISS YOU SO MUCH BEING WITH DADDY FEELS GOOD CAUSE HE REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF YOU YOU HAD HIS CUTE NOSE. ITS AMAZING HOW YOU HAD SO MUCH OF THE BOTH OF US. YOU WOULD OF BEEN ONE HANDSOME MAN BABY. WELL MY LOVE I LOVE YOU FOR EVER AND EVER MY BABY AND DD SAYS SHE LOVES YOU TOO SHE EVEN TRIED TO SHARE HER BOTTLE WITH YOU TODAY...XOXOXO

HELLO MY LOVE. ANOTHER DAY WITHOUT AND ITS NOT ANY EASIER I DO ENJOY THE FACT THAT YOU LET MOMMY KNOW YOUR AROUND ITS SO WEIRD I ALWAYS SEEM TO LOOK AT THE TIME WHEN ITS 9:09. I KNOW ITS YOU TELLING ME IM HERE MOMMY AND I LOVE IT JUST WISH I COULD HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND KISS YOUR LITTLE HEAD LIKE I USE TOO THE FIRST TIME I HELP YOU MISS YOU SO MUCH LOVE. I CANT WAIT TO BE WITH YOU YOU ARE THE LOVE I ALWAYS WANTED WHICH WAS FROM THE BEGINNING HARD TO HOLD ON TO BUT WORTH EVERY SECOND. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY LOVE BEEN MISSING YOU SO MUCH MY BABY. TODAY IS YOUR GRANDMAS BIRTHDAY SHES UP THERE WITH YOU IM SURE YOU ALL HAVE MET BY NOW AND SHES TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOU. I WISH I COULD SEE YOU AND HOLD YOU AGAIN MY BABY BOY THIS IS SO HARD I CANT SEEM TO GET USE TO BEING WITHOUT YOU YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE BUT ITS GODS CHOICE AND YOU SERVED YOUR PURPOSE. WELL MY LOVE ILL BE HERE WAITING FOR YOU MY LOVE. OH AND THANK YOU FOR WATCHING OVER LORI WHILE SHES IN THE HOSPITAL I FELT YOU THERE WHEN I SAW HER AND THEN NOTICED YOUR NUMBER 9 AND I JUST KNEW YOU WERE THERE WATCHING OVER HER MY LOVE. I LOVE YOU FOR EVER AND EVER MY LOVE I PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY I CRIED SO MUCH YESTERDAY IF WAS LIKE LOSING YOU ALL OVER AGAIN. I PULLED IT TOGETHER THOUGH FOR THE GIRLS AND EVERY ONE ELSE AS MUCH AS I WOULD HAVE RATHER BEEN HOME NURSING YOU INSTEAD OF IN A CLUB FULL OF CRAZY PEOPLE I LAUGHED BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I CRIED IT FELT GOOD BUT NOT THE SAME. I MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART IM REALLY THINKING OF HAVING ANOTHER BABY BUT IM SO SCARED AND I WANT TO BE SURE I DONT HAVE THE CANCER AND IF I DO I WANNA GET RID OF IT FIRST. BUT THEN AT THE SAME TIME I REALLY JUST WANT YOU BACK AND YOU ONLY. I LOVE MY GABRIEL FOR EVER AND EVER I PROMISE. XOXOXO

HI MY BABY TODAY IS THE DAY ALREADY DEC 31 2011 YOUR DUE DAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN MAKING YOUR GRAND ENTRANCE AT THIS TIME BUT THE LORD DECIDED TO GIVE YOU TO ME EARLIER AND FOR ONLY 12 DAYS BUT WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR I HAD YOU MY WONDERFUL SON WHO I DIDNT HEAR CRY BUT SAW THE PAIN IN YOUR FACE And your eyes that you endured. I MISS YOU  MORE AND MORE EACH DAY BUT WHAT CAN I DO THINGS JUST ARENT THE SAME WITH OUT YOU ID RATHER BE IN PAIN GETTING READY TO GIVE BIRTH TO THAN IN PAIN MORNING YOU BUT I GUESS WILL HAVE OUR TIME I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE PROMISE...XOXOXO

HI MY PRECIOUS BABY GABRIEL. WELL MY LOVE IF EVERYTHING WOULD OF GONE OK EITHER ID BE IN THE HOSPITAL GETTING READY TO HAVE YOU OR YOU WOULD BE ON YOUR WAY FOR SURE MY FIRST DUE DATE WAS DECEMBER 31 AND I WAS SO SURE ID HAVE YOU THAT DAY OR NEW YEARS DAY. BUT YOUR IN HEAVEN WISH WE COULD HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IM GONNA CELEBRATE NEW YEARS JUST DOESNT FEEL RIGHT CAUSE I SHOULD HAVE YOU WITH ME. BUT ONE DAY WILL MEET AGAIN MY LOVE I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL MY BEAUTIFUL BOY FOREVER AND EVER MY LOVE...XOXOXO

OBITUARIO

Gabriel Noel James Rodriguez

9 septiembre, 2011 – 21 septiembre, 2011

Funeraria del Angel Corpus Christi

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