Mary Fan Kain

Mary Fan Kiracofe Kain passed away quickly and peacefully in her sleep on April 1st, 2023. Mary Fan was 88 years old and lived a full and meaningful life. With her beloved husband, John Forrest Kain, she was the proud mother of two daughters, four grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. Mary Fan was born on December 18th, 1934, in Fort Wayne, Indiana. In that tight knit community, she had many friends and remained close to her “girl gang” until the end. She graduated from South Side High School and attended Denison University in Granville, Ohio, where she was a member of the Sisterhood of Delta Gamma and received a bachelor’s degree in history. In her junior year, while home from winter break, she was introduced to John Kain, who was also from Fort Wayne. They married immediately after graduation on August 17, 1957, and spent their honeymoon on a cross-country road trip to California where John was beginning his doctoral studies at the University of California, Berkeley.

In those years, Mary Fan taught middle school history in the Oakland school district and together they welcomed Mary Jo in 1958, and Joanna in 1960. The next stop on their journey was Colorado Springs, where the family lived at the Air Force Academy and John taught Economics to the cadets. John’s academic career then took the young family to London for a year. After Academy life, Mary Fan loved this adventure, embracing the Beatles and all things hip and trendy in the early 1960’s, including a bee-hive hairdo and purple hot-pants. After London, there came a year-long stint in Melbourne, Australia. These experiences living abroad cemented a life-long fascination with cross-cultural experiences and international travel.

In 1965, the Kain’s moved to Belmont, Massachusetts, and John began his career at Harvard. Like John, Mary Fan was interested in making an impact. While raising her young daughters, she became actively involved in all things Belmont, including the First Unitarian Church, Belmont, and the Belmont League of Women Voters, where she served as President. She also began graduate school at Simmons College in Boston, where she received a master’s degree in social work. With this training, Mary Fan worked at the Veteran’s hospital, the Cambridge Guidance Center and for the Cambridge International Adoption Agency.

The young family also built many special memories at their lake house in New Hampshire, spending idyllic summers swimming, boating, and hosting many friends. Mary Fan and John indulged their daughters’ love of horses, boarding them in their centuries- old barn so that they could ride daily.

Eventually, Mary Fan joined John at Harvard and began her long career in higher education, working with students in the Harvard Office of Career Services. She adored this work and her many roles in that office incorporated her love of travel, as she advised students on study abroad programs. In those years, Mary Fan and John went EVERYWHERE. They grew particularly fond of Southeast Asia as John’s work took them to lengthy stints in Singapore, Korea, Japan, China, Malaysia, and Indonesia. In the 1990’s, with their careers in full swing, John and Mary Fan began taking their young grandchildren on these adventures. The gift of these shared experiences lives on in that next generation.

Eventually, the lure of their grandchildren grew too strong, and they made the difficult decision to leave the Northeast and relocate to Texas to be near their growing families. Settling in Plano, they also built memories with their family at their second home in Port Aransas and later with cabins on Lake Texoma. It was at these places that their grandchildren were able to have a glimpse into the wonderful childhood experiences that the Kain daughters had enjoyed growing up. We are all so grateful for those choices and their spirit of generosity as we had the opportunity to share wonderful times with John and Mary Fan.

Both began work at UT Dallas and made as meaningful an impact on that campus as they had at Harvard. Mary Fan had several roles at UT Dallas, including working as an academic advisor in the School of Behavioral and Brain Sciences, and before retirement, as the Assistant Director of the Study Abroad program. In 2003, both John and Mary Fan were diagnosed with two different forms of cancer. Mary Fan underwent surgery and thankfully survived; after a valiant fight, John passed away in August of that same year.

Without her lifetime partner, Mary Fan, the tiny dynamo, found other ways to live a meaningful life. She continued to travel near and far, journeying regularly to Paris, visiting India with dear friends and Germany and Australia with members of her Fort Wayne “girl gang”. She continued to work into her early 70’s, and when she retired, she became an active volunteer at the Richardson Regional Medical Center and as an Ambassador at Dallas Fort Worth Airport. In true Mary Fan form, she went to the airport twice a week to greet travelers and assist them in finding their way, sporting her snappy green blazer and Stetson hat uniform. We used to tease her that she would probably slow them down as they were running to make their connections, as she loved to chat, share stories, and travel tips.

In 2015, Mary Fan’s life would change significantly once again. She survived a massive stroke that sadly limited her mobility and her ability to live independently. We all think that the biggest loss for her was that she was no longer able to travel the world. Despite that, the years since her stroke have been full of love and family for Mary Fan. For her 83rd birthday she was in the front row of a Willie Nelson concert. Willie (her favorite artist) pointed at her and cheered her on as she stood on her walker and danced. With her family, she was able to travel domestically and celebrated graduations, wedding, and baby showers, and was with the entire family in 2019 for the wedding of her granddaughter in New York City. She was also able to attend the first and second birthdays of her great-grandchildren in New Jersey and traverse the Connecticut River and the Long Island Sound on the boat, Mischief.

During the pandemic, her family sprung her from isolation and drove her to Connecticut in an RV so that she could enjoy Thanksgiving with her daughters and their families. Even though her daily life was less active, she remained engaged and interested in the world until the very end. When we were lucky enough to be with her on her last day, she was reading the New York Times and watching political news on MSNBC.

Mary Fan was unfailingly positive, non-judgmental, and kind. She was extraordinarily generous and always so much fun to be around. While we grieve her loss, we are grateful for her presence in all our lives.

Mary Fan was predeceased by her parents, William Robert and Mary Nicholas Kiracofe, her brother Nicholas Kiracofe, her sister-in-law Joan Kain Shaw, brother-in-law, Richard Henry Shaw, and her beloved husband John Forrest Kain. She is survived by her daughters, Mary Jo Earle and Joanna Kain Gentsch, her sons-in-law, Doric Evan Earle, and John Frederick Gentsch. She is also survived by her grandchildren, Sarah Gentsch Balch, and Rebecca Kain Valentino (née Gentsch), Leo Watts and Aidan Kain Earle, her grand-son-in laws, Steven Conant Balch, and Michael Thomas Valentino, as well as her great grand-children, Charlotte Kain Balch, Cooper Conant Balch, and Nicolas Antonio Valentino. She also had a particularly close and loving relationship with her nieces, Susan Shaw-Meadow and Nancy Shaw Olvera, their spouses Robert Shaw-Meadow and Michael Olvera and their children, Beth, Nathan, Katie and Erin, Emily, and Maggie.

The family will gather this summer for a celebration of Mary Fan’s long and meaningful life. If you wish to honor Mary Fan, donations can be made to the American Cancer Society and CC Young Retirement Community in Dallas, TX.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.Sparkman-Crane.com for the Kain family.