Grace Ilene LaFave

Grace Ilene LaFave (Nee Vaughn) was born on April 5th, 1941, to Marcus Matthew and Ora Ann “Stockton” Vaughn. She was the youngest of eight children.

Grace grew up in Colgate, OK and in the “flats” of OKC. She met and married her husband, Sam LaFave, when she worked as a scrub tech at St Anthony Hospital. They had four boys. She retired from Western Electric (now Lucent Technologies). She loved to crochet and play on Facebook. She loved being a grandma and spending time with friends and family.

She was proceeded in death by her son, Mark “Thumper”, who passed away in 1976 and her husband, Sam, in 1995; as well as a daughter that was lost at birth, her parents, and her siblings: Clarence, Easter, Lois, Oneta, Bertha, Flora, and Mary Jo, and too many family members to count.

She is survived by her three sons, Joe and his wife Sharon, Steve, and David. She also leaves behind her grandchildren, Kim, Brian, Sam and Dylan and her great grandchildren, her nieces and nephews, and their children that she treated like her own and loved so very much.

Grace was a mom to so many people, both young and old. She did not ask for anything, yet she would give you everything she could to help you when you needed it. You didn’t have to ask her because she would do that for you regardless. There were times when she would ask if you needed anything, if you are okay, have you eaten, or are you hungry? That was exasperating, but you held your tongue, because you knew she cared.

She was generous to a fault, but that’s what made her mom and that’s why she protected everyone. We all protected her, too. She didn’t judge people by their age, what they wore, how they looked, or what they were into.

Growing up with Grace, she acted like a mom does. She spanked her children (and Sam had a big belt), she yelled and threatened and grounded her children. She did the same to a few nieces and nephews, too. But even then, through every single stage of their lives, there wasn’t a second of doubt about how so very much she loved them. She saw the best in everyone. Like her own mother, she was strict, but she was a mom to each one of us.

She held her family together through things that would have torn most families apart. Everyone was made stronger because of her. She made each of us better because we knew and loved her. However, we suspect that she loved us a bit more.

A part of our lives is gone; but the love and compassion, the strictness and hugs, and the need to make you feel belonged is what she left us to carry forward. She was a great mom to her boys and grandkids. She would consider you hers if she felt you needed a mom, and really, everyone needs a mom.

As children, we took her for granted. We thought that she was going to be there for us as long as we needed her. As an adult, we drift away from home and create our families, but we still go to the one who raised us, corrected us, and loved us without condition. We knew the time would come that she wouldn’t be there anymore, but we are not ready to accept it. We are always expecting more time, another day, another phone call, another hug, and it is so hard when those expectations have gone away.

The world needed her to be here for the time she was, and now it is her time to not hurt. She is at peace. Her pain that she never deserved is now gone. She leaves behind a legacy of love that will be truly missed.