Lilian McCormack

Our world has changed forever. We lost a Mother, Grandmother, Great Grandmother, Auntie, Cousin, & Friend this month. Lilian died June 6, 2024 while gardening in the back yard of the home she lived in for almost 64 years.

The oldest of five children, Lilian was born at home on June 26, 1926 to John Alexander Davidson & Jessie McKenzie Watson in the very small town of Sandhaven, in the County of Aberdeenshire, Scotland. She lived through the Great Depression in Scotland and was 13 years old in 1939 before the economy started to turn around. Despite the Depression, Lilian excelled in school and earned the highest academic award (dux) of Sandhaven School in 1939. As a young teenager, she lived through the 1940-1941 German bombings of Scotland during WWII and the rationing of gasoline, eggs, meat, dairy products, clothing & shoes that followed. That is where it all started as Lilian learned at a very young age to pinch pennies, be very thrifty & never waste a thing. After the war she continued her education earning a University degree in Music, then started work as a clerk typist.

In 1952, at the age of 26, looking for opportunity & adventure, Lilian left Scotland and immigrated to Canada. Initially staying with relatives in Toronto, Canada, she obtained a job within a few weeks of arriving in a new country. A very hard worker, Lilian was able to save for a holiday to France & Italy in 1954 and a trip to Bermuda in 1955. In 1956 she relocated again to Detroit, Michigan where she worked as an Office Manager/Bookkeeper. Her knack for details and numbers made her very good at her job, which gave her the confidence to quit when her bosses wouldn’t let her take time off to attend her sister’s wedding….she knew she could easily get another job when she came back, and you know she had money already saved for her trip & time off. After marrying in 1958, her husband’s job moved them to San Diego, California. They had a small apartment in La Mesa until 1960 when, in two short years, they’d saved enough money to purchase land, build a home, and move in. This is the home where she raised her children and where she lived for the rest of her life.

During the 1960s Lilian worked as bookkeeper, then a stay at home mom raising two small children. For a bit of fun on mornings the kids were in school, she joined a bowling league with the neighbor ladies. Also around 1964 Lilian began teaching private piano lessons in her home for extra money, studying for her US Citizenship exam & started investing in the stock market. Lilian became a Naturalized US Citizen in June 1966. She really enjoyed going out dancing at the Scottish Rite Center and Trafalgar Clubs (or anywhere really) on the very rare occasions she would spring for a babysitter.

She was one of those parents, growing up, that attended all school events and participated in all their kids activities so she could make sure Jackie and Glenn were staying on top of their schoolwork. In addition she helped Jackie learn Clarinet and Glenn to learn Violin for the elementary school orchestra, sewed Girl Scout Patches and Indian Guide Costumes, went to music recitals & Little League games, and became a 4-H Club leader. And, later as a grandparent, Lilian attended all school and family functions she was invited to.

During the 1970s she went back to school to re-earn her Associate of Arts degree in Music because the USA did not recognize her University degree from Scotland. And while she was at it, she also earned an Associate of Science in Business. After re-earning her Music degree, Lilian became a member of the Music Teachers Association of California and continued teaching private piano lessons in her home until 1976. Also during that time she saw what the real estate market was doing, went back to school again to become a real estate agent so she could cash in during the 1970s real estate boom! She was never a great saleswoman so didn’t earn too much as a real estate agent, but the real estate knowledge, combined with “elbow grease” and her skill for saving money, allowed her & her husband to purchase & renovate several rental properties that sustained her through her retirement years (which were much longer than she expected, for sure!). She didn’t stop there though. In the years since, Lilian continued her learning, going to the local library or taking classes to learn more about anything that interested her. This included learning new computer skills to keep up with what friends & family were doing on Facebook. She never really posted much, but she was watching!

She divorced in 1983, but continued to support herself and her family by managing her rental properties, buying, selling, investing, and earning extra money as a Tax Preparer. During that time she was also very active in her church, First United Presbyterian, & was ordained as a Deacon in 1982 and as a Ruling Elder in 1985. Constantly learning, Lilian continued her education to help her apply her skills to earn money, assist her children in reaching their goals, and set the family up for retirement. Lilian joined the Inland Society of Tax Consultants in the early 1980s, even served as the organization’s Treasurer in 1987 & 1988. She initially started as a Tax Preparer for H&R Block but soon quit to become self-employed serving more than 100 of her own clients per year until 2009. This was a great way for her save a buck preparing her own & family tax returns for the next 20+ years, while staying on top of the income tax laws, learning all the loopholes, only working part time, and saving her family from overpaying on their income taxes. For fun she belonged to a ladies Tea Cosy Club that got together for potluck dinners, fun nights out or bus trips to tapings of TV shows like Let’s Make a Deal. During the 1990s….she worked at Bargain Bungalow, the church thrift store, and would still wait until senior discount day to combine senior & employee discount before buying thrift store gifts for the family.

She enjoyed playing Bunco with friends in the early 2000s. Around 2010, after over 20 years as a tax preparer, Lilian quit that job because her eyesight was failing and she refused to see a doctor fearing she’d loose her driver’s license & independence…..turns out it was just cataracts easily fixed with surgery and her eyesight was restored by 2012! She never looked back, however! Now that she’d got her eyesight back, but no longer had the tax preparer job to keep her busy, Lilian continued learning, following financial news more closely and was always researching the best ways to manage her stock portfolio and real estate investments. She even knew how the banks and mortgage companies calculated interest and she checked to ensure their figures were correct on every statement! Lilian was never one to sit around. She also volunteered a few days a week at Sharp Grossmont Hospital, doing what needed to be done, including pushing much younger people around the hospital in a wheelchair. She continued to volunteer at Grossmont Hospital well into her 80s.

Lilian loved to dispense her advice or tell you what she thought, not always in the most tactful way. On the surface Lilian sounded like she was complaining all the time or being critical of others, but that was her communication style. She only ever had the best of intentions in an effort to impart her wisdom about the things she learned in her lifetime. Living through the Depression & WWII, Lilian learned at a very young age to pinch pennies and to “Waste Not/Want Not”. She was always looking for ways to save and believed in fixing the old, rather than buying new. For example, rather than buy clothes in the store knowing she would only have to alter them to fit her short stature, Lilian became an accomplished seamstress. She tailor made most of her own clothes, and some for her kids despite their objections. She made her sister’s wedding gown and bridesmaid dresses as well as her daughter’s wedding dress and matching dresses for the flower girls. And if you needed your favorite blouse or pants mended or altered, you could rely on Lilian to do it for you. Lilian hung her laundry out to dry rather than using a clothes dryer, she cut her own hair, and preferred using home remedies with inexpensive ingredients to buying specialty products (vinegar & water instead of Windex, plain bleach to clean toilets, vinegar & baking soda to clean drains, plain salt to kill weeds, etc.). By making these choices to save, she was able to buy land & build a home within two years of arriving in California and together with her husband, provide for her family. She kept the family finances, used green stamps (for anyone old enough to know what those are), loved to shop bargains, used coupons, and took any discount offered. As she would say “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”. Lilian installed solar panels in the 1980s to save energy heating the hot water tank. She balanced her checkbook to the penny every month, knew how the banks and mortgage companies calculated interest and she checked to ensure their figures were correct on every statement! Because of these choices & her strong work ethic, Lilian always had money “saved for a rainy day” or last minute travel plans.

Always a willing Hostess, Lilian enjoyed showing out of town visitors around Southern California, hosting gatherings and pool parties for family and friends. Lilian enjoyed knowing what her family was up to and was always willing to try anything at least once. Camping wasn’t her favorite thing when her kids were young because she said it wasn’t a vacation for her since she still had to do all the cooking & cleaning; but she still went camping with Jackie in the desert to try a ride in the dune buggy (not a fan – too bumpy), and came camping with Jackie to Silver Strand State Beach too, but relaxing on the beach was too boring for her. Lilian loved to travel, returning to Scotland many times over the years to visit family. Besides Europe she also traveled to Australia in 1991, went on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera in 2011 with a Scottish group, and more. She bought a timeshare in Hawaii (2001) she enjoyed with friends and, in her words, she got her money’s worth! The last time she traveled, was back to Scotland, Norway, Denmark, and Ireland when she was 90 years old.

It may not have always showed, but Lilian enjoyed spending time with family & friends, and, never showed up empty handed. She enjoyed time spent with family over money spent on family. Until she gave up her driver’s license, Lilian visited family & friends regularly going to Cousin Betty’s every Saturday night, and her daughter’s every Sunday afternoon. She would bring weekly coupons from the newspaper, or a packet of shortbread, or some stuff she found in her closet she thought you might like. Lilian was also more sentimental than anyone knew. She kept every one of her children’s report cards from Kindergarten through College, a ledger with the names of all the kids she taught piano lessons to, as well as special cards & photos she received from family & friends. For a bit of fun as a young mom, on the rare nights she got a babysitter, Lilian enjoyed going out dancing. And later in life, she enjoyed attending birthday parties, Christmas parties, and was often out later than her kids at New Year’s Eve Parties. She finally chose to give up her driver’s license when she was 92 years old but continued to be fiercely independent and lived on her own until the end. She did finally hire a pool man because she kept losing her balance & falling in when she tried to do it herself. However, she never found a gardener that could do the work to her standards and kept firing them. She appreciated hard work. In later years she happily accepted gardening help from family or friends but insisted on paying for your time…..she never wanted to “owe” anyone, even family, but more than that, she enjoying sharing the time together. She wanted to attend her grandson, Andrew’s, motorcycle stunt riding competition just to see what it was all about and told him she wanted to ride on a Harley Davidson, so he picked her up and gave her a ride on his “hog” to her 97th birthday party. He posted a video of this ride on his Instagram page and it had over 24000 views, making Grandma go viral! She had so much fun that day!!

Lilian wasn’t shy, and you always knew where you stood with her. Growing up, her children knew when she was angry. Even after they were taller than her, she would chase them with a fly swatter or yard stick if they were misbehaving, or, if really bad, issue the stern warning “wait until your father gets home”! She did teach her children that if you couldn’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, but she couldn’t always hold her own tongue. She did not come from a family that said “I love you”, so while she loved her family deeply, she did not always know how to show it. Instead she took care of her family, making sure they had what they “needed”, made them do their homework, and dispensed her advice to prepare them for success. Her advice for financial success was save your money, & never pay interest! If you can’t pay cash, you can’t afford it! She paid cash for all her cars, and the only thing she ever bought on credit was real estate. Anything charged to your credit cards must be paid off every single month, without fail! Her personal advice was do your very best every day…..and don’t sit around…..use it or lose it! To her frustration, her family did not always adhere to her sage advice, but she still loved them & her family wanted for nothing. Making sure her family was taken care of, this 5’ nothing woman was feisty to the end, did things her way, and lived life on her own terms! She lived on her own, took care of all her own business affairs, didn’t want to owe anyone anything, never liked to be fussed over and would rather go to a party than a funeral.

Lilian is survived by her daughter, Jacqueline (& Husband Ray) Charrier and son, Glenn (& Wife Kim) McCormack, her five grandchildren, Tiffany McCormack, Kameren Cook, Kellen McCormack, Jessica Charrier, & Andrew Charrier, her three great-grandchildren Devlin McCormack, Kaylee McCormack, & Kiera Cook, as well as many nieces, great nieces/great nephews, and cousins in USA, Canada, Scotland, England, Australia, and Turkey.

The family would like to invite anyone who has a memory or funny story they would like to share about Lilian to leave a comment/message/photo here. Lilian loved to dispense her advice or tell you what she thought….not always in the most tactful way, but always with the best of intentions. What pearls of wisdom did she impart to you (whether followed or ignored), that you are willing to share?

Celebration of Life Services will be held on June 26, 2024, 2:00 PM at El Cajon Mortuary, 684 S. Mollison Ave, El Cajon, CA 92020. She insisted this be a celebration, not a funeral, so dress accordingly. You are invited to join the family for refreshments at the home of Jackie Charrier, address & directions provided after the services. There we can continue the “party” in celebration of Lilian’s life, share stories, memories, and laughs remembering a life well lived. If you knew her, she really loved a party!