Brenda Joyce Phillips

August 14, 1944 – December 23, 2025

Brenda Joyce McAllister Phillips, 81, passed away peacefully on December 23, 2025. Recently a resident of Arlington, Virginia she was also a longtime resident of Virginia Beach where she spent many years at Leeward Shore Court.

Brenda was born on August 14, 1944, in Gauley Bridge, West Virginia to Thomas and Nadine (Humphreys) McAllister. She was deeply proud to be the daughter of both a self-made businessman and a devoted mother who nurtured and supported her family. From West Virginia to Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania, a short time in Buffalo, NY and finally to Virginia Beach, she dedicated her life to caring for others and raising her family, leaving a legacy of love and service.

Brenda earned her bachelor’s degree from Valparaiso University and became a lifelong learner and gifted educator. After raising her children, she returned to her studies and earned her Master’s Degree in Education. She then followed her passion for supporting children in need, spending many years with Virginia Beach City Public Schools, where her compassion and dedication made her a strong advocate for students with learning disabilities.

Brenda was the devoted wife of Dennis Phillips for 53 years, until his passing in February 2024. Together, they built a loving home and family that were the center of her life. She adored her three boys and took immense pride in the lives they built, but her greatest joy was her four grandchildren, who filled her days with laughter and love. She also had a deep love for animals, showing them the same kindness and compassion she gave so freely to her family. She often joked that her grandchildren—and the family pets—held a slightly bigger piece of her heart.

Brenda also loved to travel, thriving on experiencing new destinations. Closer to home, she was often found reading the Wall Street Journal or lounging in the pool. An avid reader, she famously combined her love of swimming and literature, often ruining library books that accidentally took a dip in the water with her.

She will be most remembered for her belief that a home was meant to be lived in, and for creating a space where everyone felt welcome. A trusted confidante and thoughtful listener, she had a rare gift for offering honest, meaningful guidance exactly when it was needed, leaving a lasting impression on all who were fortunate to know her.

Brenda is survived by her sister, Betty Ruff; her three loving children, Chad (Angelique), Nathan (Michelle), and Adam; and her four cherished grandchildren, Zachary, Jacob, Matilda, and Eloise, who will all miss her dearly.

A service will be held on Thursday, January 8, from 4:00–8:00 p.m. at Murphy Funeral Home, 1102 West Broad Street, Falls Church, Virginia 22046. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital or Hope for Life Animal Rescue.