Harry V Wells

Eulogy by Dr. Mark Diorio: Harry V. Wells

I have had the pleasure of knowing Harry Wells and his family for over 22 years. I am honored that the family asked me to speak today about Harry. If you will indulge me, I would like to share things about the man Harry V. Wells. Some of these things may be obvious, while others may not.

Harry was a Big Man

Harry was 6 feet 6 inches tall, with broad shoulders, and hands that could grip a basketball with ease or a flower with gentle touch. But Harry wasn't just a big man physically; he was a giant of a man in many other ways. Harry cared about others; he was kind; he didn’t have a mean bone in his body. His heart was every bit as large as he was.

Harry was Stubborn and Persistent, but he also had Patience

Harry knew what he wanted, but because of his Autism and our lack of understanding, we sometimes failed to figure out what he was trying to tell us. You all know someone who has this dog-eared persistence, and I am sure you have experienced frustration with their hard headedness and your inability to figure out what they were telling us. By now people are looking at each other saying, yea…and I still love them, but boy sometimes they try my patience. Harry had great patience with us as we tried to figure out what we were missing. When he engaged in some very challenging behaviors to make us pay attention, he demonstrated extreme patience in our failure to listen well. But we all worked through it together.

Harry was an Educator

There are people who make a profound difference in other people’s lives, and inspire them to grow and learn. Harry was one of those men. In my career as a behavioral psychologist, I have had the distinct privilege of working with some of the best and brightest minds in the field of behavior treatment. People like Dr. Judy Favell, Dr. Don Baer, Dr. Dennis Reid, Mohamed Shabazi and Alan El Tagi, to name a few. And of course, Dr. Richard Foxx who had a very special relationship with Harry.

In 1978, at the young age of 24, Harry became famous for his contributions to the field of applied behavior analysis and behavioral treatment for self-injurious behavior. Harry and Richard’s efforts have made a lasting contribution to clinical treatment and scientific discovery.

Harry was a True Professional

Harry had knowledge to share and was a professional colleague and friend. He taught me and others to be more observant, to be creative, and to think outside the box. And if we messed up, he made sure we knew it. Sometimes in ways that made us both laugh, and in other ways not so. Harry taught me to be humble; he taught me never to give up. I owe him my thanks for trusting me, for making me a better clinician and human being.

Harry always insisted that One was never enough.

When Harry wanted something he liked or ordered food at a restaurant, he was sure that two always made things better. Two hamburgers from Mc Donald’s, two cookies, two hot chocolates from I-Hop, two Cokes. When you really think about it, Harry was just being very practical. Why have one, when you really want two.

Harry truly met the definition of one the Most Interesting Men in the World: The man from Dos Equis was not even close

I already mentioned Harry’s lasting contribution to clinical treatment and scientific discovery. But Harry had a variety of other interests that made him a modern renaissance man.

Harry loved food. We would often watch the Food Network together and he could explain what each ingredient was and when I interrupted, he would just smile. Harry also loved to cook in our Instructional Kitchen at NVTC and would go out to eat when he could; which was never enough.

Harry loved to swim and play in the water. I am sure we have all stood in a shower and let the warm water run cross our face, or when it was hot outside take a dip in the cool pool, not wanting it to end.

Harry loved music from the 60s and 70s, especially the Beatles and the Beach Boys. But he also liked some of the other classics like; You are my Sunshine, A Spoonful of Sugar, and Feeling Groovy, to name a few.

Harry liked to dance and many times he would not sit down for the entire night, and then only when the music stopped. And when a song played that he really liked, his smile could light up a room.

Harry also dappled in the arts. He painted and made pottery, and some of his artwork was on display last night. Perhaps the painting I remember the most was when Harry thought the ceiling tile in his bedroom was rather boring, those plain white squares with small holes, we have all seen them. Well, some of them were just not up to Harry’s ideas of perfection. So he decided to remove them several times. Once I believe he just wanted to see what was behind them, sort of like those modern restaurants and art galleries that leave their ceilings exposed to create the right mood. Another time Harry commented that he wanted to see the sky, but he didn’t have a sky light in his room, so he just removed the ceiling tiles. To fix that oversight, Harry and a few friends painted each ceiling tile, some with clouds and suns, birds and other designs. Truly a work of art and much to Harry’s delight.

I want to thank the Wells family for allowing us to share in Harry’s life.

Thank you for allowing me to ramble a little about my friend Harry. It’s been a privilege and an honor.

I like to end this memorial with some lines from one of Harry’s favorite songs…Feeling Groovy

Got no deeds to do, no promises to keep

I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep

Let the morning time drop all its petals on me

Life, I love you, all is groovy.

Good bye my friend and God bless you all.

By Dr. Mark Diorio, Former Director

The Northern Virginia Training Center