Thomas Andrew Cox Jr.

Thomas “Tom” Cox of McLean, Virginia, died peacefully on January 18, 2017 at the age of 91. Tom, a man who came from simple means, loved people. His generosity of spirit touched all who met him. His quick wit and unassuming character served him well throughout his life and career and he will be sorely missed.

Tom was born in 1925 in Pittsfield, Massachusetts, and grew up in the Brookland neighborhood of Washington D.C. He was predeceased by one brother, William Warren Cox; and two sisters, Elizabeth (Betty) Unanue and Patsy Cox.

A Huck Finn-like rebel with a heart of gold, Tom left high school and lied about his age to get him into Marine Corps. A member of "C" Company, 5th Engineer Battalion, 5th Marine Division, Tom took part in the perilous first-day assault on Iwo Jima, he survived to finish his military duty in the occupation force near Hiroshima. Tom mused on the contradiction of risking his life on the battlefield and still not being old enough to buy a beer. He maintained a lifetime love of and respect for the Marine Corps.

After the war, Tom finished high school and earned a degree at the University of Maryland before marrying Mary Jamieson of Washington, D.C., and beginning a career of distinguished public service with the Central Intelligence Agency that took him to postings in Japan, Australia and other sites around the world.

Tom, who enjoyed boyhood summers on relatives’ farms in West Virginia and Massachusetts, followed his CIA career with a dream-fulfilling life of farming in Fair Haven, Vermont. Tom soon realized the romantic notion of farming was very hard work and would have abandoned the effort but his wife Mary loved the farm and they continued the endeavor until her death in 1988. Tom sold his farm and returned to live in McLean, Virginia. In 1993 he married again, to a high school sweetheart, Nancy Houck Stitely, and enjoyed many hours at River Bend Golf and Country Club where he was a founding lifetime member.

A common man of uncommon wisdom, Tom was the essence of democracy: a poor boy who became a world traveler and art collector; a self-described juvenile delinquent who matured to take a role in an important government agency; an outgoing man with a gift for helping others feel their value, whether a friend on hard times or a stranger in the line at the grocery store; and a Private First Class who addressed government leaders and Marine brass at the National Cathedral.

Tom is survived by his wife, Nancy Houck Stitely Cox and her four children Steven, Susan, Douglas, and John; and by nieces and nephews Stephen Cox, Teresa Calloway, Susan Cox, Andrew Cox, Becky Brusseau, William Cox, Mary Jackman; and Carol Freeborn, Robert Unanue, Mary Ellen Yorio, Tom Unanue, Lisa Unanue, Peter Unanue; and Allen Jamieson Burnett, Joan Kirchner and Sandy Smoot; and many grand nephews and nieces and step-grandchildren.

Tom was a great storyteller whose life from Iwo Jima to international intelligence projects was an adventure. He was humble about his accomplishments and kept a positive spirit when things went wrong. “I’m a lucky man,” he used to say, even in his final days in bed and wheelchair. Those close to him are lucky to have the inspiration his spirit will always bring.

Tom will be interred at Arlington National Cemetery at a later date. A memorial mass in Tom’s honor will be held at St. Luke’s Church, 7001 Georgetown Pike, McLean, VA 22101 on February 11 at 2:00. A reception will follow at River Bend Country Club, 375 Walker Rd, Great Falls, VA 22066 at 3:30.