Paul PT Andrew Turnbull

Paul Turnbull was born on the 15th of October 1966 in Plaistow, East London, England. Very early in his life, his family moved lock, stock and barrel to Seven Kings in Ilford, Essex. Shortly afterwards the Eccles family moved into the house at the back of Paul’s parents home.

There began the friendship with Marc, that has been a constant part of Paul’s life, which carried on through their school years, into adolescence and on into adulthood.

School and academic achievement was never a priority in Paul’s early life agenda and the family printing business beckoned so, on leaving school he served an apprenticeship with the family business “Dudfields”.

His teenage and early adult years were spent in and around the Ilford area and, being the youngest member of a close group of friends, he became an aspiring Disco dancing champion and fashion and style guru, with a love of the 80’s music scene, a love which he carried on into the 21st century.

His hobbies were very Miami Vice - Jet ski’s, fast cars and fishing, coupled with his love of gadgets and watches and the “finer things in life” he was very much a man of unpretentious style and taste.

Paul met and married Julie the true love of his life and together they moved with their four children to Florida making their home together in Gotha where Paul’s character and understanding nature endeared them to all they met and became close friends with.

Having four children, three of them boys, meant that Paul had to brush up on his football knowledge, despite being a half hearted West Ham fan he still managed to enjoy watching Alex and Billy chasing a football, also standing at the poolside cheering on Charlie’s swimming achievements, there was also his special relationship with their daughter Beth his “Little Princess”.

He was successful in business life and was much admired by many, all who met him were graced by his laid back manner and practical approach, which came to the fore even more so when sibling disputes between the children had driven Julie to distraction.

He always had a kind word and could see the good where others only saw bad, was never quick to judge and was a true friend. He touched the hearts of all who knew or met him no matter how briefly he was in their lives.

His relationship with Julie was special, a true love, soul mates is the best description to use, they supported, cajoled and advised one another, along their life’s road, never shirking responsibility nor turning their backs on one another, they met challenges head on and always found a solution in a truly special relationship based on mutual trust, respect and love.

In January of 2011 Paul, Julie and the children were dealt a severe blow when Paul was diagnosed with Cancer of the esophagus, a diagnosis of the worst kind when it became clear that the Cancer was terminal. In spite of this, Paul remained outwardly calm facing this challenge as he faced every other, with a quiet dignity

My words to Paul

My best, oldest and closest friends are concerned I wont get through this, so I ask for your patience as I intend on having a pretty good go.

So, how do you mend a broken heart? I know hundreds will already know that answer but for me, I don’t know where to even begin.

We met when I was 7 and Paul was 9 although my cousin recently informed me we were 5 and Paul was 7, either way it’s a long time and full of memories.

As teenagers I didn’t particularly “fancy” Paul, most my friends did and I just didn’t, years later when we were together, he said he had always had a “thing” for me but didn’t want to spoil our friendship…instead that friendship and respect formed the basis of a great relationship.

We truly knew we were a matching pair, I can’t work the TV, he can’t load software or cook that well, between us we got it done, whatever the job, we came into our own, be it work, with cleaning and laundry, we teased him about having cleaning OCD, but its just an example of how proud he was about everything he did…..it was great for me and I would challenge any woman to clean a bathroom like him!!!

Without a doubt he made me a better person and when over the years certain situations got tough, he would be by my side, as I was at his, he was the balm that soothed all my ails every time, never failing, or faltering always there with the right thing to say or do.

Ours is a true love story, one I am so proud to have been a part of, we never ran out of conversation, knew how to laugh, not take ourselves too seriously, but were also completely comfortable in each others presence and silence….of course only when I stopped talking.

Paul was a great dad and has been a horse for them as toddlers, a model for Beth’s make up talents, nail polish and all, spun them around till almost sick listened when they had problems, tried to tell him the meaning of “how to deal with girls”, you can imagine how well that one went…and everything a great dad should be.

Everyone who knew Paul loved him, he was funny, he was so stuck in the 80’s with his taste in music despite me and the kids spending years trying to drag him into any other decade, he was a man who knew what he wanted, knew what he liked and it was as simple as that.

People that perhaps don’t know us so well, could wrongly assume I was the boss, how it worked was he LET me organize, arrange, whittle away until HE decided something otherwise, then wild horses would not move this man. Moving to America, the house we bought, the holidays we took, the cars and gadgets…….I learnt along time ago when he had that “this is what we’re doing” look, I went with it, trust me, I didn’t have access to enough wild horses.

Whilst he was gentle and kind, he was also not a man to be messed with, if you upset or threatened his family, he was fiercely protective and therefore always made us feel safe. I’m hardly a shrinking violet but he made me and our family feel safe, everything was always going to be ok, because he took care of us.

What I didn’t know about my husband was how brave he was, during this wicked, cruel illness he never complained, he endured everything that was thrown at him, often apologizing to me for the things I did to help him. I told him once he need never be sorry for anything I ever did for him as everything I did, I did out of love and out of choice, after all what choice did he have?

Paul had a tremendous amount of pain one Sunday morning, we were due to fly to Texas, our wonderful friend Fortune (my sanity for many months) arranged for us to be seen in the ER quickly. Dosed to the nines on seriously strong pain meds, he was like a playful child at the airport – he wouldn’t go in a chair, yet could barely stand, ate a whole quizno’s sub despite the fact the could barely swallow and enjoyed every mouthful and then just before boarding tried to get me in the disabled bathroom for….well something he really should not have been thinking about.

He told me once he was glad it was him that got sick and not me as he could not have coped and managed to do what I did, I know that’s not true and coping came with a price, one that our kids paid for many months, yet never complained (much anyway) and understood we needed to fight this together as a couple first and a family second, for their understand I am very proud.

We made promises to each other that were bound by love and I am trying so very hard not to be bitter or angry, during his many hospital visits if we saw a young person or a child he would be so sad, knowing what they were going through, but not ever complaining about or for himself.

I do feel robbed and cheated, I feel our children have lost something that could never and will never be replaced, but I am also so proud, honoured and lucky to have loved and been loved by such a great man. We had so, so many plans for our future and he did not want to die, he wasn’t ready.

For 5 months and 3 days he fought as hard as any man could “if I live long enough to get our visa, you’ll all be ok”… “who will look after you and the kids”, just one more family vacation were some of his inspiration to live a little longer, but we both knew the cancer was winning and clinging to any kind of hope became so hard. Esophageal cancer is rare, aggressive, relentless in it’s symptoms and completely unforgiving.

He made very few demands or requests of me, one was that just being with him made him feel better, another was” if I lose this battle, be with me at the end and make sure you never leave me”, I did both as I will keep every other promise made..

How could I even begin to honour such a great man? I just know he would have done anything for any of you especially if you liked 80’s music and enjoyed a little soiree.

We attended a memorial service a while back where a friend spoke about his mother and the dash…born DASH died, it was probably one of the most moving and relevant eulogies I’ve ever heard, Paul’s dash is one filled with love, hard work, determination, achievement and amazing friendships across two great countries.

Our whole family is completely overwhelmed by the love, support, prayers, help and kindness shown by so many, you know who you are and we will never forget. Please do not be offended if I missed anyone, there are far too many to list…

Fortune Alabi – for being a great friend to Paul and I, but on many occasions became my sanity, advisor and at times confidant

Nina, Helene, Kelly for just grabbing Billy and providing a happy save haven for him to be a child

The Burns for just “putting it all in a box” and taking Paul’s business despite the absolute inconvenience of everything that went with it

Ann, Gail, Katie, Mandy, Mo and Jenny for just being there

Shiona, Spency, Jill, Simon, Richard and Bettina for being our family and just “popping 4500 miles over” to help and Niki and Marc for being here today.

To the truly amazing Mark, our home nurse, he always addressed Paul as “my friend”, Jennifer, Dr Zakary and more of less the whole Intensive Care Unit at Celebration Hospital who not only cared for Paul so professionally and kindly, but for me too…they called us their family but boy did they go on about sleep and food a lot. For Romi who became Paul’s personal barber as well as one of his respiratory therapists, for Kelly, who said to me after a week next to Paul on a chair holding his hand said “do you want to just get into bed with him” where I then stayed for 5 days.

Oh and to Dr. Umeh for going head to head with me over my lack of sleep, food and what was good for me and of course for telling me I looked a mess and once referring to me as an Essex girl – I still don’t know who told him.

Au revoir and sleep well my love, I will see you again when my time comes - soul mates can never be parted, I will have my hands full with these four to keep me busy until then and will at least try to fulfill the great role of a grandparent we are always planning on being for our grandchildren, although no rush!. I expect the kids are quite worried who they’ll go to now when mum says “no” and dad isn’t there to say…oh just let them…..maybe I’ll have to say yes a little more often, but only maybe.

No words can do justice in any form of tribute to Paul……just know that he was loved.

Message read by Charlie and Alex

As you all know my dad was a great man.

This year, it took me and Alex almost an hour to choose his Father’s day card. It feels right to share this with you as it mainly sums up how I feel about him.

The card read…

Dad, the greatest lesson I ever learned didn’t come from watching you work hard, play fair or help others….but from watching you love mum.

I added the following…

Yo yo papa

So it’s been a tough few months but we’re getting through it. I love you with all of my heart and you have shown me what it’s like to be a real man and I hope when I am older, I can be like you which is kind and loving to the people around me and provide for my family like you.

Hang in there dad, love you oldest sprout Charlie.

My brother Alex’s card read

dad, you may not always get me, but you’re always there for me and doesn’t just mean a lot…It means everything

Alex added

I don’t know what to say except you’re the best dad anyone could wish for, I love you so much.

If you know me and my brother, you’ll know that the fact it took us an hour to pick those cards alone, is an honor to how we feel about him.

Our dad made our mum so happy but made every single

One of us feel special and loved in our own way, he taught me to respect, love and care for my family but most of all he showed me through patience and tolerance how to deal with things that challenge me in my life.

Mum calls family meetings all the time and even dad used to roll his eyes, but the best one ever was the day they sat us down and asked how we felt about moving to America to be neighbours with Mickey Mouse, he always knew what was best for us and always did the best for us.

Dad has brought so much good in my life and has given me so much inspiration to be successful and to have a family and give them the best. I will try to continue his legacy and his love will always be with us, in our hearts and spirit. The last words I said to him were, I’ll always look after mum and our family, he nodded as if to approve.

We can be a handful together, we argue, bicker and fight, but when it comes down to it, our home is our sanctuary, it’s where we are loved and just like dad taught us, if anyone threatens any one of us, we come together like a pack.

Dad, we miss you, we love you and you will always be with us.

From Beth and Billy

Billy

I Love you daddy, I miss you. I bet you miss me too

We had a lot of fun together . I remember when you threw me up in the air in the pool and I did a back flip. That was fun

I liked watching Looney toons and Tom and Jerry with you and building things.

Love from Billy xxxxxxxx

Beth

You were a great daddy, we love you and miss you so much.

You always made me laugh even when I didn’t feel like laughing. I will never forget the time when I wanted an cuddly Eeyore and mum said no, but dad bough it for me anyway. I love you so much and you were the best dad in the world.

Love you with all my heart Beth xxx

FRIENDS

"I was honoured to call Paul my best friend but in truth, he was everyone's best friend. I never heard of anyone with a bad word to say about Paul as he was such a nice guy. I will always remember what a great friend he was to me and how great he was through good times and bad, offering support at the right times. I will miss him dearly. My thoughts are with Paul's family at this sad time. John and Nicola" xx

To our very dear nephew and cousin, Paul.

You were taken from our lives way too early, but we will never ever forget you and the great times we shared in your company.

You will always be in our hearts darling.

We cannot say goodbye but as we always said, 'see you later'.

Lots of love and best wishes always

Aunt June, Uncle Fred, Lisa, Lee, Clare, Freddie and Toby. Xxxxxxx

To our darling son, forever in our thoughts, you will be loved forever. Mum & Dad xx

To our darling brother, we will miss you & never forget you, always in our hearts. Susan, Tracey, Mick, Graeme, Kelly, Matt, Dan, Joe & Sam xxx

The Oxford English dictionary has a word that describes Paul;

Gentleman:

courteous, or honourable man:he behaved throughout like a perfect gentleman

Although I only met Paul 8 years ago, in this short time, without any argument I would describe him as a Gentleman.

I personally feel honoured to have met, known and worked for such a great man.

Paul is one of those people that I will never ever forget and if I can be half the man he was then I will be very happy. Keith Swift

God lookied around his garden

And found an empty place,

He then looked down upon the earth

And saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you,

And lifted you to rest.

Gods garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering

He knew you were in pain.

He knew that you would never

Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough

And the hills were hard to climb.

So he closed your weary eyelids

And whispered 'Peace be Thine'

It broke our hearts to lose you

But you did,nt go alone

For part of us went with you

The day God called you home

Simon massey

Paul, you were such a helpful, thoughtful and kind person - one in a million. You will be sadly missed and always remembered in our hearts. Lots of Love Carman, Rhys and Lauren. Xxx

We didn’t know Paul very well, but we were very privileged to have met him and Julie. We will always remember the night we were at their house and Paul was really happy standing Barbequing, proud of punch of his family and his home. How kind and welcoming he was.

Love Joan, Gary, Paul and Rachael

Charlie and Alex were the loves of his life

So were Beth and Billy and Julie his wife

Only 44 he went far far too soon

But to all who knew Paul he’ll be jetskiing round the moon

Cheese puffs and mints he liked these the best

But they had to be British and come from M & S

He loved a drink with the boys every Friday night

He was a rock, a star and our shining light

He loved fast cars, and boys toys too

Red was his colour not silver or blue

Our darling Paul we will miss you like mad

A beloved husband, friend and dad

Love Jill and Georgia xxx

“Dear Paul in my eyes you were a pure soul who had exceptional loving qualities, the light you spread touched me and Dolly in a special way and will remain in our hearts forever, luv n lite Lol & Dol”

Paul

I first met Paul when I moved into the house two doors along. I was 10 and he was 7 and he was a feisty little fellow!

Paul always had the best, he had a new scrambler motorbike which he was good at riding, he would tell the older boys that his bike was the fastest. No one would admit it to him, but it was!

Paul was the youngest of the group of very close mates and we all lived near each other and went to the same school. We shared numerous holidays together.

Paul was true friend and loved to share. Paul bought himself a speedboat and loved to water ski, he included everyone and made sure we all went along for greats days out.

I recall one holiday in the Canaries when Paul decided to rent a boat. We went along to the Marina to the boat hire shop, the guy had a large selection of boats for hire, the boat that caught Paul' eye was the biggest and best, Paul said "how much to hire that one?" the man said no thats my own boat, Paul said how much? And we left in mans own boat!

Paul loved to party! He liked nothing better than to have everyone over to Paul & Julie's house for a pool party and BBQ, holding court around his bar, laughing and dancing to some of his favourite 80's old skool! And for anyone who knows Paul will know his infectious laugh, that starts with a whimper then on to uncontrollable giggling!

This could take place at any time!

One time as teenagers at a friends parents house, trying to act very proper, Paul noticed the Dad's very funny bootie slippers and that was it! The whimper started we all knew what was coming next!!!!

Paul had so many exceptional qualities always smiling, always laughing and always there to help a friend in need.

He was a man amongst men, a loving husband, fantastic dad and an irreplaceable and treasured friend!!!

Mick Simpkins

No words can truly express the sense of loss we all feel since hearing the news of Paul’s death. Throughout the years we’ve all had the chance to get to know him well and have all come to value his friendship, kindness and thoughtfulness. We’ll miss his laugh and all the good times that have been shared. Paul’s memory will be held deep in our hearts and we will always remember what a truly special and genuine man he was. It has been a privilege and an honour to have known and worked for a much admired and respected man, one of life’s “nice guys”. His passing will leave a void in all of our lives.

The Tribute from “His Team”

Paul no words will never come close to explain the heartbreak at losing a friend such as you. You were my brother and i will love you for ever more, sleep well my old mate.

Gary Anderton

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