Mildred Marie Williams

November 25, 1942 to March 24, 2010

Born to George Olive and Myrtle Anne (Mitchell) Stanley on November 25, 1942 in a small share croppers farm house in Axton Virginia. Her mother Myrtle Anne Mitchell was celebrating her own birthday that Thanksgiving day and was blessed with the birth of twins. Mildred Marie Stanley was the second born just minutes after her twin sister Gracie Mae Stanley. Their father worked on other peoples farms to feed his family that these beautiful bundles of joy has joined.

The children:

George “Junior” Stanley JR.

Jimmy Ray Stanley

Ruby Virginia Stanley

Louise Stanley

Gracie Mae Stanley

Mildred Marie Stanley

Life on a farm with six children proved to be to much for their mother; she moved from the farm leaving the children with their father. She would later marry Billy Sunday Cavanaugh; by all accounts a good man. The twins were scheduled to go live with some neighbors named the McBrides, but due to Louise’s frail condition social services said that she needed nourishment and care or she would die so she was adopted instead.

Times were very difficult so the older siblings were responsible for the care of the younger ones while their daddy worked on the Tobacco farm. As the children grew they were made to help pass the tobacco bundles up the ladders of the drying barns. At some point Aunt Ruby (George Stanley’s sister) lost her husband and her daughter very close together and came to live with the family. She lost her mind to a degree and would do things that sometimes did not make much sense, like putting soap powder in the beans or something else like that. One morning she went downstairs lit the stove and went back up stairs. Unknowing to her the fire had gotten on her house coat , and she carried it through the house and upstairs as she returned to her room. George her brother got the kids out carrying Mildred and Gracie down the stairs. Against the girls protest he went back in for his sister and although he managed to get her out she was badly burned and would died a few days later. A memory that would haunt the small girls the rest of their lives.

After the farm house they lived in burned down and the fire claimed the life of their aunt, the twins went to live with Ms. Henderson. The Henderson’s owned the house their family lived in. This lady dressed them in pretty things and took them to church but was not very good to them and one day their mother came to visit and Ms. Henderson did not want the twins to go visit their mother and when they protested she whipped them as she had done on many other occasions. After this Mildred left and rejoined her father. Gracie was not far behind. Virginia left and moved to Newport News, Virginia to live with her mother and met the love of her life Bud Brock, they married, moved to West Virginia and raised seven children. The details of the boys are not known other than Junior went into the military. Both of them would go on to live in North Carolina their whole lives.

At some point the twins were sent to live with Virginia in West Virginia, but they wanted to be with their mom so they snuck and called her to come get them and they were reunited with their mother and stepfather Billy Cavanaugh. Through out their lives Gracie and Mildred would not only be sisters but also best friends. They became inseparable. One always knew that they had the other one to count on no matter what. Coming from a broken home this became something that was more than regular twins have.

Mildred quit school and decided to marry a gentleman named Joyce Hilburn. A son was born to Mildred named Wesley Lynn on September 20, 1962. Circumstances were difficult in California so Mildred boarded a plane with the infant and headed home to Virginia. When she arrived she asked her mother to care for Wesley until she could get on her feet and got an apartment but when she took Wesley back she was concerned that he would not eat or sleep. She called her mother and her mother instructed her to bring him back and once he was reunited with his grandmother he resumed eating and sleeping. Mildred allowed her mother to raise the child as her own after her mother begged her to leave Wesley with her and Billy.

Some time passed and Mildred met Billy Ray Williams. On their first date Billy told Mildred that she was the woman that he was going to marry. They were married for 36 years. During this time they had 3 children:

1) Clifton Earl Williams; Nov. 7, 1964

Cone Hospital in Greensboro, North Carolina

2) Tammy Darlene Williams; July 21, 1966.

Wesley Long Hospital in Greensboro, North Carolina

3) James Lee Williams; October 18, 1967

Riverside Hospital in Newport News Virginia

Shortly after Tammy was born the family moved to Virginia where James was born. We lived in a mobile home park on Jefferson Avenue. Billy secured a job with Marva Maid Dairy where he stayed until his death in May 30, 1999. Mildred chose to be a homemaker and it was during these years our memories flourish.

Our mother loved giving to her children and believed in doing it equally. She and our father would do without so that their children would have what they needed. Riding down the road singing hymns she taught us to love the lord. We knew that our parents loved us very much.

Mother spent many hours with her twin sister and her family. It was like we were a meshed family. Our mother had a stern hand and a warm heart. No matter what any of us kids did she would punish us, but we still knew we were loved. Mother went nowhere that her children could not go. Onetime a neighbor came running to our car saying where are the kids, and mother showed her we were seated in the back seat of the car. Mother believed that we were safer sitting in the car than standing up long before seatbelts were thought of. Through out our lives mom and Aunt Gracie (mom’s twin sister) spent much time together and we became a meshed family. Aunt Gracie’s second marriage was to Wallace Presson and they had a daughter named Wanda Gail. This has always been mom’s second daughter and Tammy is Aunt Gracie’s other daughter.

Mother did all she could to stay on top of our schooling insisting on our getting the best grades we could. In my preteen years and teen years Mother put a lot of miles on the car carrying me to softball practices and games, then only to have to run me for orchestra practices and concerts. Mother allowed me to participate in what ever my heart wanted as long as it was good for me.

Clifton and James were under the hood of cars with dad and from time to time so was Tammy. Mother and Tammy would go to movies together and wherever we wanted. Mother used to love listening to WCMS country radio station. They would hide a Gold brick and give clues. Mom and Tammy would go looking for this gold brick. Then Aunt Gracie and Wanda would have ideas on the clues and we would jump in the car and go look in a new place. It was like a scavenger hunt. We came close to finding it on a few occasions, but no such luck. It was all fun and something we did together. It was time spent together with mother that was irreplaceable.

Mom hated to see the school season start each year. She liked summer so we would all be home with her. Mom always loved having her children around her. To earn money mother allowed all three of us to get morning paper routes. That meant delivering papers at 4 am before going to school. Not a paper was ever delivered without mother as the driver; rolling papers and carrying us to every home even in the dead of winter. When it snowed and school was called off we would have a snow person built before the sun came up and laughed til it hurt from snowball fights. Mom had a heck of a throwing arm!

As we got older Tammy went off to the Army and the three boys all got married. Wesley had a son named Michael. Clifton had a son named Casey Earl. James had two sons Benjamin Ray and Adam and a third son named Seth from his second marriage, and two step sons John Palmer and Jacob.

James married his high school sweetheart, Michelle shortly after graduation. Michelle had a difficult relationship with her mother and she kept kicking her out of their home. Mom did not miss a beat one time when Michelle got kicked out, she picked up Michelle’s bags and said lets go home. Michelle finished high school living with my mom and dad. That was just the way mom was. She would always do anything she could to help people. Michelle died on July 22, 2005 from Leukemia leaving three year old Benjamin and one year old Adam. Mom knew that Benjamin was special and had health issues. This drew mom closer to this grandchild. Benjamin went to live with mom and dad when he was almost 4 years old.

Mom, dad, and Aunt Tammy made many trip to hospitals trying to find out what was Benjamin‘s health issues. Shortly after my father’s death my mother was living in an apartment in Yorktown with Benjamin, when Ben was sleeping and His aunt Tammy tried to wake him because he was wet and she wanted to change his diaper. He would not wake and he was moving uncontrollable. Tammy picked him up and ran in the living room where mother was sleeping and with one sound mother was awake and trying to get Ben to talk. He could not. She grabbed her keys and we got into her F150 Ford truck and man did that woman drive. She drove to the hospital as fast as she could push that truck to save her grandson. The hospital told us he had had a seizure.

From that point on my mother watched Ben night and day. One morning in late June 1999 Ben had not gotten out of bed at his usual time and she walked in to see him unconscious and foaming at the mouth. Mom called the ambulance and they rushed him to Riverside hospital, where they transferred him to Kings Daughters in Norfolk still in a seizure that he had been in for hours.

Mom stayed at his bedside in ICU for the days that he remained unconscious. Never left his side even once he was awake and learning to stand and walk. After two weeks they went home together to a house that mom had bought and Aunt Gracie and Wanda moved her into while Ben was in the hospital. My mother felt Ben needed a yard to play in and she gave it to him. Once again thinking not of herself.

My mother raised her children, but not once did she complain about taking care of Benjamin. He was her heart and she was determined to make whatever time he had on this earth the best she could manage.

When mom got too ill to take care of Ben she let him come live with Aunt Tammy only to follow him within months to live with Ben again, putting herself aside still looking after Ben’s needs. Now we all live in our home with the love my mother has always given freely. It is a lot for a parent to allow themselves to live with their child. They don’t want to be a burden or anything. My mother gave me the most blessed gift a parent could give. She has given time we have shared living with me and love that I would have never experienced had she not come to live with me.

Now that she is so sick and is dying she still thinks only of her family and not wanting to leave her very loved family behind.

When a person passes the first thing people start thinking about is what type of person was that person and what did they give to the world. You wonder how will they be remembered. Did they change the world in any way, or were they just here and there was no impact.

I have the answers within myself to all those questions to Mildred Williams. I am her daughter Tammy. I am one of the legacies of my mother. I am a testimony to my mother’s life. My mother taught me to respect others, love others, and forgive others. She taught me to do what I say I am going to do. Your word becomes your obligation. If you say your going to do something you must do it.

Mother taught me that the world is a place where you can be, or you can live. Just “being” means you let it go on and you make nothing of yourself and do nothing. “Living” means you work to achieve the best that you are capable of being. It is not about money and making all you can. It is about your own potential and reaching it.

Mother taught me about making decisions. You have to make decisions every moment of everyday. You have to factor in not only yourself but all those around you. We live in a world where people are being taught to think about number one. Number one being themselves. Mother taught me to consider all around me because no person is an island unto themselves. What you decide effects others and should be decided with others in mind.

Mother taught me to be humble. Jesus was a humble servant and the example to all of us on how we should carry ourselves. If you make dinner and a person comes to your home, you always have enough to share. Something is always better for all, than someone having nothing.

So when you look back at Mildred Williams and wonder who she was, think of the legacies she left in who she was and what she passed on to her children and grandchildren by her teachings and her own actions. I take away from my mother’s life a love that was stronger than any I will ever experience again in my life. Her love for me, and all our family, for that was her life, her family, her legacy.

When I close my eyes I can imagine two young children Gracie and Mildred holding hands and singing in a small country church. The church not leaving until they hear the twins sing as they did every service they were there. Then my mind moves to the car driving down the road with Gracie, Mildred, Wanda, and Tammy with all our voices singing as loud as we can to the hymns that they remember from their childhood.

I am brought to the present and my ears hear my mother and her twin Gracie in her room with the hymns playing on the CD player with them singing together and I know I am hearing angels sing with them.

Newspaper Announcement:

The world lost an angel Wednesday, March 24, 2010, when Mildred Marie Williams, 67, lost her battle with Pancreatic Cancer. This loving sister, mother, grandmother, aunt and friend will be missed by all who knew her.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Billy Ray Williams, elder brother George Olive Stanley, Jr. and her parents George Olive and Myrtle Annie Cavanaugh Stanley.

Mildred leaves her very loved family: her son Wesley Lynn Cavanaugh, son Clifton Earl Williams both of Newport News, VA, her daughter, Tammy Darlene Williams of Hampton, son James Lee Williams and his wife, Kelly of Hampton, son Benjamin Ray Williams of Hampton, her shared daughter/niece Wanda Gail Lemmons of Yorktown, VA, sister Ruby Virginia Brock of Morgantown, West Virginia, brother Jimmy Ray Stanley of Raleigh, North Carolina, sister Louise Stanley Goodson of Danville, VA, twin sister Gracie Mae Riley of Yortown, six grandchildren: Michael Cavanaugh, Casey Williams, Adam Williams, John Pisle, Jacob Pisle and Seth Williams and many nieces and nephews.

Friends are encouraged to visit www.parklawn-woodfh.com to share memories and words of condolence with the family.

The family will receive friends Friday, March 26 from 6 to 8 PM at Parklawn – Wood Funeral Home.

A celebration of Mildred's life will be held on Saturday, March 27 at 2 PM at the funeral home with Rev. Keith Frix officiating, along with Karen Clark. Interment will follow in Parklawn Memorial Park.

Arrangements are under the care of Parklawn-Wood Funeral Home, 2551 N. Armistead Ave. in Hampton, 23666.