John "Jay" Edgar Francis Foley Jr.

Jay Foley was one of a kind. He was passionate, truly knew how to love, was someone who understood how to be a good friend, and was a dynamic force of nature. He touched the lives of thousands of people, improving their quality of life. He had 2 wonderful daughters, April and Angelic. April and I talk frequently and I am honored to call her my daughter.

He served in the Navy for 16 yr. Was a Vietnam vet. During his time in the navy he did everything from MP to medic- he even helped deliver a bunch of babies to women who had just be airlifted from Hanoi. He was very proud to serve our country and enlisted as the Vietnam "police action" started. He didn't wait to be drafted. It was something he felt he had to do.

I will save you the long story of Jay's efforts to win me over and our romance. We dated, he drove up to LA 3 weekends and the 4th I went down to San Diego. He knew that my cats were part of my package deal and brought up treats for them to win them over. One of my cats never came out when people were over but jumped into his lap the first weekend. Who can argue with a cat's intuition?

Always a gentleman he slept on my sofa for the first couple of months until one Leap Year Weekend in San Diego we became a monogamous couple. It is ironic that he died at the end of a Leap Year Weekend. Just about the time I would have left San Diego to drive home.

He proposed just before my birthday by threatening me with a cup of ice water over my head while I was showering. We announced it at a surprise birthday brunch he had planned. I remember asking my mother months earlier- how do you know you are in love? She said, "You just will know that it feels right." When I saw Jay all dressed up for our wedding I practically ran down the aisle to him. Marrying Jay was the best decision I ever made

I cherish the 22 years we shared together. In 1999 he helped me start the Identity Theft Resource Center, a nonprofit that helped victims of identity theft. We are considered important, vital pioneers in their field and widely respected nation-wide. As part of the growing needs of our country, he became a sought-after speaker about identity theft - at business conferences, in front of legislative hearings, and in front of small groups including seniors and at risk youth. Jay was widely-sought after for interviews for newspaper, magazine, radio and national television media.

He was instrumental in the passage of several identity theft bills that helped to add to the definition of identity theft and aid victims in resolving their cases. Due to Jay and Linda Foley's efforts they received awards from the US Attorney General, Congress, commendations from governors and senators including the 2004 National Crime Victim's Assistance Award presented by the US Attorney General, 2010 Congressional Victims' Rights Caucus Suzanne McDaniel Public Awareness Award, commendations from Senator Dianne Feinstein, serving on the US Atty General's task force on identity theft and was a Ponemon Institute Fellow.

What I will remember most of our years together is how gentle he could be. When I became physically limited he never showed frustration in bringing something to me in bed. Or cooking when I started a meal but then didn't have the energy to finish it. He made me laugh. He made me feel safe in his large muscular arms and his hands-those wonderful hands that relaxed tense muscles and stroked my face at night.

Jay was "one of a kind." He was there for his friends, a victim, or an elderly person trying to open a heavy door. He was a people person. He lived to help others.