Kirk Randolph Elder

Kirk Randolph Elder was born in Los Angeles, California, on September 29, 1949. Randolph and Viola Elder had three boys; Kirk was the oldest of the three. Although Kirk was the biggest and the strongest of his brothers, he never bullied them or took advantage. When asked why, he said that home should be a place of peace. Something he would put into practice many times in his life. He did however force his brothers to watch every Elvis Presley movie ever made.

Kirk received an Associates of Arts degree from Occidental College. He joined the United States Navy in 1968 During Vietnam. He was not drafted. He enlisted himself. He would go on to receive the National Defense Service Medal.

Kirk had dreams of becoming a chef like his Father and running a restaurant. He owned and operated his own bar for a time. He also dreamed of working in Hollywood. However, being a pragmatist, Kirk sought out stability and in 1979 he joined Unocal 76 (later called Conoco Phillips). Through his job and the good character of the man himself, he provided for his family and built a legacy. In 2014 after 35 years, Kirk retired from Conoco Phillips.

Marilyn Maxwell was a family friend that wanted to set Kirk and Tresta up and she was absolutely successful. Kirk met the love of his life, Tresta White at her twenty-fifth birthday party. They married on June 7, 1980 in Carson, CA. Their relationship has lasted for over forty years. Kirk always accepted Muriel’s two children and raised them as his own. Eventually sending both to college with a car and money for books every semester.

They lived in an apartment in North Hollywood; later Kirk bought a house in Los Angeles. In October of 1981 they had a son, Eric Elder. In 1989 Kirk moved his family to Moreno Valley, CA. This was his way of protecting his two sons from having to grow up in the streets of South Central L.A. To make this better life possible for his family Kirk commuted to work, 160 miles a day to and from the refinery. He would leave for work around 4am every Monday through Friday, in rush hour traffic, in both directions, and he did it for 25 years straight.

In 2015 every Friday evening Kirk began appearing on his brother, Larry’s radio show. He was dedicated to this opportunity. The listeners adored Kirk and always enjoyed his sensible and balanced approach to many topics discussed each Friday evening.

Kirk loved cooking and feeding folks. He was trained as a chef and as a result had a great time preparing meals for a house full of people. Family and friends always made time to stop by because they knew eventually Kirk would go into the kitchen and make something amazing. He could turn a salad into the star of a BBQ. Breakfast in the Elder home when company stayed over was a five star event. Kirk would broker peace and give life lessons over home cooked meals and paper plates.

One Summer when the kids where young, Kirk prepared strawberry shortcakes. Looking in the fridge, Kirk discovered that someone had been eating the strawberries and he didn’t have enough to make the cakes. Stacye said, “I didn’t eat them.” Randi said, “Stacye stop lying, we gone get in trouble.” Kirk got ready to leave for work and said, “Nobody will eat until I get the truth.” Sensing the end of strawberry shortcakes forever, Stacye had to confess, “I ate the strawberries, Kirk.” After that he left and went to work. Leaving the kids to think about what they’d done. It was the middle of summer and school was out, so that must have been a really long day to think. When Kirk arrived home he had even more strawberries. Kirk made Stacye help cut up the berries and prepare the cakes. Kirk was always giving out lessons. That day the lesson was, face the truth and fix the issue you created… then you can eat cake.

He was a true Raiders fan and wore his black and silver proudly no matter who was actually playing. Kirk enjoyed hanging out at Cheers and The Shark Bar in Moreno Valley, CA. Where literally everyone knows his name. He would buy Christmas gifts for the staff. He would bestow knick-names upon the regulars. He would buy rounds for the bar and he would load the jukebox with dollars and play nothing but Motown soul songs. The bar was always full of tradesmen and blue-collar guys to which Kirk was a working class Hero. Kirk became friends with everyone and everyone showed love for him. From Super Bowl parties to sending his youngest Son to prom, the bar guys would show up and show love and support to Kirk and his family. Upon hearing of his passing all those old friends shed tears for their great friend Kirk.

Kirk never failed to do the right thing for his family and friends. Even in retirement Kirk was always an ear for others and a help to many. Over the years countless people have found a place to lay their head in the Elder home. It didn’t matter if you were a kid on break from college or just one of the guys from the bar who needed a hand. If you were a friend of Kirk’s or kin to Tresta you had a hot meal and a place to stay in good times and bad. So many people have reached out to tell stories of how Kirk helped them; it might be simpler just to list the people he didn’t help, if you could find such a person in the city of Moreno Valley.

Kirk was always humble. He was always generous. He was a cornerstone of his greater family, and a pillar of his community. He inherited the patriarchal title through the passing of Randolph Elder. Making him the patriarch for an entire extended family. It’s a title that he wouldn’t ever bestow upon himself. Yet he always performed the duties of that title, because at one point or another he took care of all of us. He gave his all to us. Now there is no more to give. We have lost a great man, husband, father, mentor, and friend. Words truly cannot express how much we will miss this Man of Valor

We will always love you.

Kirk was preceded in death by his parents, Randolph and Viola Elder, his brother Dennis Elder, nephew Jared Freeman and father-in-law and mother-in-law, Randolph and Lila Simmons.

Kirk leaves to cherish his precious memories, wife Tresta Muriel Elder, One brother Larry Elder, four children Jennotta Reed, Stacye Langford (Grady Langford), Randi Bishop, Eric Conley Elder, four grandchildren Bradley Langford, LaRonda Lewis, Deshanae’ Crittendon, Vanessa Crittendon, three great grandchildren Tyonne Turner, Khamari Turner, Mylah Carter, Dr. Houston Conley (Uncle), Mary Conley, Mattie Conley (Aunts), Four brother-in-laws, Charles Grimes, Earl White, Andrew Simmons, Randall Simmons, Three sister-in-laws, Wanda Valentine, Phyllis White, LaTrice Simmons, and a host of nieces, nephews, godchildren, other relatives and loving friends and neighbors.